Overwhelming Emotions


Overwhelming Emotions

Genre: Drama Romance | AU | Reincarnation

Rating: M

Pairing: (mainly) Rivaille x Eren

Summary: Being woven in his dreams and memories, Rivaille was at a loss. The second encounter with a certain boy made it even much worse than he thought it would be, especially when the boy is reaching his hands out to him again.

Disclaimer: I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin, but this fanfiction is mine. ©AsakuraHannah

A/N: So many emotions overwhelmingly crashing me while writing this down xD

Chapter 19 : Fulfill

Emerald green orbs eyed the rain with a rather gloomy expression. Eren sighed as he leaned against the glass window of his school building. He did not expect it to rain this heavily as soon as he finished his exams. He wondered if he should just run home or wait for someone to lend him an umbrella. Mikasa had gone to the council room while Armin had gone home as soon as he finished his exams since he had his tutor coming over. Eren sighed; he was feeling lonely in this kind of time. Not that he blamed them for being so focused on the things in their hands, but rather he was angry at himself for not being active. Eren looked to the entrance when another student walked out the building, his hope faltered when they were not the one he knew. He was about to head back to the building when he heard one of the female students whispering to her friend.

"Did you see the ring on Rivaille-san's finger? I thought he was single…" Eren flushed when he heard her, his steps halted and he turned abruptly to them. The girl seemed to notice him and hurriedly shut her mouth, shyly pulling her friend away with her. Eren looked after them as they padded away into the rain, their umbrellas hanging lowly to shield them from the water. The brunet's hand unconsciously touched the ring which he hid beneath his collar shirt, wondering what they would say after they noticed he had the same ring design as Rivaille's. Before he knew, his feet brought him to run back to the building, eyes swiping across the corridor to search for his secret lover. He soon found him getting out from one of the classroom.

"Rivaille…" Upon hearing his name called, the man looked to his side, noticing Eren panting slightly due to his running.

"Eren? You didn't bring your umbrella with you?" His teacher closed the door and faced him while crossing his arms in front of his chest. He was confused when Eren pulled him away further from the class and up to the corner of the corridor. After making sure that no one would come to pass by their direction, Eren sighed. The man was staring at him, wanting for an explanation of his action. Eren bit his lip, eyes looking down to his left sweet finger, there was the ring, wrapped proudly around it. Rivaille noticed what he was eyeing and lifted his hand for him to see much clearly. Green eyes examined it for a moment before muttering his words.

"You wear it, everyone started gossiping." Eren slowly wrapped his hands around Rivaille's left hand. Hearing that, the older of the two shrugged, obviously not caring about the gossip spreading around the school only because he wore a ring on his left fingers.

"So what? I'm proud to wear it…"

"I'm sorry… I can't…" Eren said, retracting his hands away to pull the ring he had made into a necklace out of his collar shirt. He showed it to Rivaille with a small sad smile. Rivaille's lips tugged into a smirk, and lightly flicked his forehead with his forefinger.

"Don't worry about it, brat. I'm all yours, and you are mine. That will remain a secret for the time being though…" Rivaille leaned in closer to him, kissing his forehead tenderly. Eren's cheek colored into a dusty pink at the soft touch of those warm lips.

"Only a few days left…" Eren whispered before wrapping his arms around Rivaille's neck, sighing as sadness crept up his chest. He wished time would fly slowly to let him hug his lover like this, warming his body from the cold rain outside. Rivaille kissed his ear softly, his hand making circles on his back, soothing the boy with caresses.

"Don't worry, Eren. You'll make it, we won't lose each other. Remember the trust you said in the other night." His warm breath against his ear shell made Eren shiver. He buried his face in his shoulder, flashing their bodies together as he refused to let go. Rivaille chuckled as the boy practically clung to him. He patted his brown locks and pulled him away to stare right into his eyes.

"When the last examination finished, I'll invite you to my house to stay over the night." Eren blushed at the words, he quietly nodded at the invitation, heart beating faster at the thought.

"Okay…" He sighed as Rivaille patted his head like he was some kind of a small child. The gesture, though, made him want to be touched more, it was as if Rivaille only loved him and nobody else would get the same treatment as he did. He leaned against the hand that was now caressing his cheek, closing his eyes in enjoyment as a smile graced his lips.

"Wait here for a bit more. Go to the cafeteria or something to warm yourself up while filling your head for tomorrow's subject."

Their eyes stared into each other longingly, not wanting to avert their gaze away. Rivaille was the first to break their eye-contact, leaving the boy staring at his back until the man disappeared behind the right corner of the corridor.

Eren moaned in frustration, even if his eyes stared down to the textbook in front of him, his mind was somewhere else. He shifted his gaze to the hot cup of hot chocolate he had ordered. He hadn't even touched it the time he settled in the corner of the cafeteria. He saw a few students laughing and gossiping, doing something other than studying, not that he was studying himself. He found it annoying that they were so carefree as if without problems to deal with. Eren started feeling anxious as the time passed by until their separation from each other prolonged. He knew as soon as Rivaille went back to France, he'd feel empty. He brought his hand to pull the ring out from his shirt, eyes flickering sadly with so many things in his mind.

"I wonder if I should feel happy or sad due to the fact that he had taken ownership of me" Eren quickly shook his head, forcing out those negative thoughts. A voice broke his mind off; he raised his head to see his sister standing right before his seat.

"Mikasa…" His eyes widened when he realized that she was eyeing the ring.

"Eren, I was searching for you and then I met Rivaille. He told me you were probably in here, so here I am, asking for you to go home." She paused "What's this? I need some explanations." She pursed her lips firmly while taking a seat across him. Eren averted his gaze from her, not knowing how to respond for a moment until he spotted Rivaille coming inside the caféteria. He remembered that he was going to send him home, opening his dry mouth when the man walked up to them. They eyed each other for a moment, and Rivaille noticed the heavy stare coming from Mikasa. The man sighed when Eren dropped his hand from the ring he was holding, letting it hang loosely around his neck.

"We need to talk." Rivaille said and sat beside Eren after pushing him away to make some space on the sofa. Mikasa leaned forwards to listen carefully to whatever Eren's fate might be.

"I proposed to your brother." Rivaille muttered, only loud enough for the siblings to hear. He didn't want other people to know about it, so he needed to talk this very quiet as possible. When he saw Mikasa remained silent, he continued.

"I'll need to go back to France right after you guys finish your exams, I have things to take care of there. So I want to tie him with me until I come back. That, and also, because I've loved him for thousands years." Rivaille took Eren's hand with him, eyes never leaving Mikasa while he did so. Eren's eyes widened, gaze shifting back and forth from Mikasa and Rivaille. He couldn't believe that this was happening now, his heart beating loudly in his chest as his hand trembled. Rivaille noticed and pulled their hand down, caressing his thumb on the back of Eren's hand.

"Are you sure you can keep your promise? Last time you almost made him lose his life. This past life things are just… weird somehow. And now you're planning to leave Eren after everything you did to him? I hope you keep your promise, or I'll chase you all the way to France, Rivaille! I won't even let you marry my brother if you don't come back sooner!"

Eren was about to interrupt when Rivaille raised his hand, stopping him.

"It's a deal then…" Eren watched as his sister and his lover glared daggers at each other. The tension seemed to melt the time Mikasa exhaled softly; she stood up from her seat, took her bag and stared down at the couple. Her eyes drifted to Eren who still had his mouth closed, if only to refrain from throwing out a retort.

"I'm going back now, Eren." She said, silently telling him to choose. She was not surprised when her brother curtly nodded, a thin smile gracing his lips.

"Okay, I won't be back soon, I think… Be careful, Mikasa." Mikasa nodded in acknowledgment and walked past their table without looking back. Rivaille noticed the way she clenched the handle of her bag, he noticed the way her eyes started turning red. He knew her reaction clearly reflecting on how she'd lost her baby brother. The moment he wrapped his arm around Eren's shoulder, the brunet only looked at him confused. Their eyes met for a moment before Rivaille captured his lips. They leaned closer into each other's arms as Rivaille pulled the teen down, hiding them behind the headboard of the sofa they sat on. A small whimper came out as Eren felt the wet tongue lick his upper lip, seeking entrance of his warm mouth. They continued to savor each other until the boy broke the kiss, feeling the need to breathe evenly.


"You'll need to study for tomorrow; I'll send you home…" Rivaille whispered. Eren's brow furrowed in protest, not after Rivaille kissed him like that. Not after the way he talked to his sister. The brunet couldn't wait any longer to jump over the time when they'll meet each other again.

"Rivaille, please… I… you can't-" he was cut between his stuttering by those lips again, this time wet and moist because of the saliva.

"Eren, stop with that expression…" Rivaille groaned as soon as he pulled back. He'd miss the brunet so badly when they separated. Only a few days left and he was left wondering what Eren might do when he was gone. He gently pushed the boy off from him, staring right into his eyes.

"I love you… I'll be back, I promised didn't I?" Rivaille whispered, his thumb brushed Eren's cheekbone. He felt it on the palm of his hands that Eren's cheeks were getting warmer by the seconds. It will be hard to leave him like this.

"I hope you won't cry your eyes out later in the airport." Rivaille eyed him seriously. Eren let out a snort, chuckling at the older man.

"I won't…" Eren protested and kissed the palm of his hand. Rivaille sighed and cradled his head into his chest, the boy practically clung to him. Rivaille's eyes drifted to one of the lavatory across the place where they sat. He eyed the small possibly undisturbed room as he continued twirling Eren's brown locks. He brought his lips to kiss Eren's ear-shell and he muttered a few words, earning a priceless expression from his lover that he had to suppress his laugh with a snigger.

"Good, the lavatory is freaking clean at least." Rivaille muttered while locking the door.

"You can't be serious!" Eren gasped when Rivaille turned him around to face the mirror. The place was so cramped that Eren had trouble moving without bumping against the wooden wall on his sides. In front of them was the sink with a large mirror while behind them was the toilet bowl; he wouldn't want to risk any wrong movement and accidentally break something. The sweet potpourri smell made it even more unbelievable, tranquility surging between them. His cheeks colored at the realization that he could watch himself being ravished by Rivaille from behind. Eren whimpered and brought his hands to cover his face.

"It's embarrassing…"

"Idiot, pull your hands away…" Rivaille growled while grinding against Eren's behind, earning a soft gasp as the boy flinched from the hardness. One hand had delved inside his shirt to tease his nipple in which Eren had a hard time to keep his voice quiet.

"Ungh…" He peeked from between his fingers to the front, gasping as he saw Rivaille's hand go down, slipping inside his pants to grab his erection.

"Wet already? This sure turns you on." Rivaille chuckled lowly as he stroked his length vigorously without mercy.

"Hmmhm" The boy failed to form coherent words as he felt himself being stroked fast. He hunched over the sink when Rivaille practically pushed his pants down just enough so that he could slide his member between his legs. The fact that he didn't put it in made Eren moan with wanting, he closed his legs just so he could feel Rivaille slid against him with more frictions. All embarrassments were thrown away as his hand gripped on the sink tightly by their frantic movements. He watched as Rivaille bit his ear and licked it, his breaths getting heavier as Eren growled by the harsh tug on his cock.

"Eren… Have you noticed the way you look? Such a turn on…" Eren moaned as his hips jerked against his hand, feeling the shyness to be able to see his own lewd expression. The sight of Rivaille's eyes staring straight at him in the mirror made him shudder. He lurched forward and gasped.

"Stop it… Nggh I… Ah!" His mouth opened without words coming while spilling his seed all over Rivaille's hand and sink. He gave a short gasp as Rivaille kept him steady while he kept moving between his legs. Later he felt the man inhale sharply against his ear, Eren drunk the sight of his lover cum between his legs while sucking on his neck. He felt the wetness running down his hips as Rivaille gave shuddering breaths. His lip curved up at the sight and gave a small laugh at the tickled warm breaths. He couldn't believe what they were doing inside the lavatory of the school's cafeteria, facing the mirror. Not that there were any hidden cameras, but it was crazy enough that Eren was amazed at how turned on he could be during their heat. Eren moaned slightly as he watched on their reflection as Rivaille sucked on his earlobe. He stared up to the man who was still holding him with lust in his eyes from behind. He closed his eyes when their lips met, moaning softly at the soft touch. Eren turned slightly to wrap his arm around him, kissing him deeper. Once Rivaille pulled away, he gave a smile to him.

"I'm gonna miss this…" Eren muttered as he stood up properly. He eyed Rivaille who adjusted his belt and looked to the mirror in front of them.

"You will surely miss this, so, whenever you get turn on, just stared into the mirror and see your reflection, you'll remember this moment." Rivaille pulled him by the collar and graced his tongue against those parted lips of his.

"Let's go home now, Brat. I'm sure you'll need lots of coffee to study tonight." Rivaille snorted right after Eren groaned at the reminder of tomorrow's exams.

Eren gulped the time he set his foot in front of the living room. His father had gotten home and sat quietly without the radio or TV on. The sight of his sister also sitting beside him as if she was preparing to have a very serious talk, made him shiver in fear. Whatever it was they'd discussed, Eren regret having to get home alone without Rivaille helping him out like before. The man only dropped him and went straight to his house immediately. As soon as his father's eyes were on him, Eren forced a smile.

"Uh, Dad? You are early…" He went rigid when his father motioned for him to come closer and had him sit down on the separate sofa beside them.

"We need to talk…" Obviously…! Eren wanted to escape, but he knew he couldn't. He silently sat down after putting his bag on the table, eyes staring at him with worry. He glanced at Mikasa who remained indifferent, but he knew that she had told his father about the previous talk in the cafeteria.

'Damn it, Mikasa?! I'm not ready to tell him just yet…'

"Eren, is there something that you needed to talk to me about?" Eren bit his lip.

"About Rivaille… we… we are dating?" He spoke so fast on the last sentence that he almost bit his tongue. He was sure that he never really had a proper talk about this to him, but now that this happened, he felt that he should have this talk sooner. The teen was confused when his father shook his head.

"That's not what I'm talking about. I heard he proposed to you, is that right?" Eren sucked in his breath, his heart felt like it would leap out of his chest anytime soon.

"Y-yes." He squeaked, surprised by the sudden voice he just let out. He lifted his gaze from his lap, something told Eren that it wasn't right to his father to actually keep it inside.

"Uh, Dad… Actually, I was meant to talk about this with you but…"

"Eren, I need to tell you that the path you've chosen will be harder from now on." Eren frowned when he heard him.

"I'll be fine…" he swallowed dryly, he shifted his gaze to the fluffy carpet underneath his foot.

"It will be harder since he won't be back as soon as possible. Are you seriously going to wait for him, Eren? I need you to think about any possibilities that might happen between the two of you with such a long distance. You'll need great trust for each other, not only that, but your future… are you sure you don't want any children?" Eren eyes widened and shot his head up.


"I know it's still so far ahead of you, but we need to think about those things from now. There will be a lot of sacrifices for both of you. I just don't want you to regret it halfway, it would just hurt the two of you."

"There is a thing called adoption, if that's what we wanted. We can manage, Dad. I'm sure we'll be fine. I trust him, dad. He trusts me as well. We'll support each other when one of us needs comfort and of course, we won't lose contact just like that. I won't wait for him forever, I've made my decision that I'll go to France if he doesn't keep his promise. We'll settle our problems just fine. As long as we have each other, I guess…" Grisha gave him one last look.

"You are not alone, Eren. Your sister and I will always be here if you need any support." Eren's lips curved up into a smile and nodded. His father patted him on his shoulder as he stood up. Knowing his son's attitude, Grisha was sure he'd face many things ahead of him. It's a part of growing up too, at least he had given him some warning. It's up for Eren to decide his own life, he'll need to leave his nest someday.

After his dad left the living room, Eren scowled at his sister who was still sitting in the same spot, staring at him.

"Mikasa, do you want me to die of a heart attack?!" Eren hissed at her like a snake. Mikasa sighed.

"I was just worried, alright? That midget just… does what he wants and then leaves; now he is going to leave you again. You do realize that you've been so clingy to him ever since you were little?" Eren growled at her.

"I only remember a bit of them… No, I don't. Tell me about it." Mikasa snorted when he heard him.

"Why am I even surprised now that you two are together, I have no idea." She shrugged and patted the space for Eren to move closer to her for the storytelling.

"Why the hell is this happening!?" Jean shouted right after he saw the marks lists on the board that Rivaille had stick up for the best ten of the students ranking. Eren gave a winning smile and laughed mockingly at his rival.

"I won, Jean, too bad!"

"I can't believe my mark is below you, you cheater!" Jean was wailing now while the crowd cheered at their own marks, they had finished their examinations and they were free to do anything they wanted during their break.

"Of course, I'm not! I study English properly because I have an aim!" Eren huffed as he crossed his arms in front of his chest proudly. Armin chuckled while Mikasa gave a thin smile.

"Humph, what kind of aim is that anyway?!" Again, the taller boy grimaced at the thought that his rival's mark was getting better and better.

"If I need to go to France, I need to learn English at least." Eren waved his hand away and Jean gave him a quizzical look. Rivaille told the students to go back to their seats shortly, stopping both boys to start more rackets on the last day of school. Soon after, Irvin stepped to the front class to announce some news about Rivaille's departure back to France. Jean shot Eren a look after he realized what his aim was for. The green eyed boy didn't seem to recognize the guilt on his face though. All the students murmured at each other by the time Irvin started his speech.

"…And so, it will be his last day today, let's give him a big applause that he has finished his internship completely. Rivaille, if you'd give them some few words before you leave, please."

"I have nothing much to say other than goodbyes to all of you, brats." The whole class couldn't help but to laugh with some girls giggling right after he opened his mouth. Irvin shook his head at his antics.

"All I need to say is keep practicing. Languages are important for those who want to go outside countries to study and have a worldwide knowledge. Maybe not only English, try to pick some other languages, not including your mother language. It doesn't hurt to learn new things. I guess while studying here and have some teaching, I'm grateful that I got to learn many things. Thank you." A few claps went up and followed by another which turned into a big applause. Eren's eyes lightened up when their eyes met, for a brief moment, Rivaille caught the sadness on the boy's face even if his hands continued clapping along with other students. Rivaille gave a curt nod and Eren took the hint, lips curving up to smile on the promised of their secret meeting. Once Rivaille finished with his speech, Irvin called out the student's name one by one for their exam marks. The student being called was able to leave once he or she got their paper test back.

"I'll wait for you outside, Eren." Armin said once his name was called. He brought his bag with him after Eren nodded, paced to the front and took his exam result from Irvin. Irvin gave him a smile and nodded once Armin retrieved his mark. He took his right hand, shaking it firmly.

"Good job, Armin. I'm sure you'll be able to get your scholarship for your university you've been wanting to go to." Armin's blue eyes sparkled when he heard him.

"Thank you, Sensei!" He bowed deeply, accidentally crashed his forehead on Irvin's hand which still holding his right hand. Startled, Armin flushed brightly when he heard several laughs behind him.

"I-I'm sorry!" he stuttered at his attitude to which Irvin chuckled. Armin flinched when Irvin patted his head, surprised by the sudden contact.

"It's alright." He meekly nodded and walked away, face still felt like burning. Rivaille snorted once the blonde boy walked outside the class.

"He's still in high school, old man." Rivaille shrugged when he received a glare from Irvin. Once Eren name was called, the brunet took the paper from Irvin awkwardly.

"Eren, have you decided which part you are going to go for your second year? I need you to return the questionnaire now to sign your name for your attendance" Eren stiffened at the demand.

"You don't have much time, brat. Don't take forever." Rivaille said after Eren shook his head.

"I… I think I'll take Science."

"You think?" Irvin shook his head, interrupting Rivaille.

"Can you wait outside until we finish? I need to talk to you." Eren sighed and nodded.

Armin gave him a curious look once he noticed the look Eren gave him once he went outside the classroom.

"What's wrong?"

"I haven't decided on which part of department I have to go after this. Irvin wanted to have some talk about it. What should I do, Armin? Social Studies or Science? Have you decided your own?" Armin chuckled and patted his shoulder.

"I wanted to be a worldwide photographer so I can take so many unique photos by going around the world and to strange places and phenomenon. Choose whatever you want to do, Eren. You don't have to follow your Dad's step. He is not forcing you, right?"

"Of course not, but…"

"Then you are free to choose whatever you want."

"I feel bad… Mikasa took Science since she had set her goal to be a doctor. I'm his son, I should be on the same path though." Armin raised his eyebrow at him.

"Don't look at the situation like that, Eren. So what if you're his son? You are you, decide what your own heart wanted to. It won't do any good if you're just following other people's paths."

"Rivaille talked about saving lives, he said I should be grateful that I had the ability to be able to do that." Armin stayed silent at that, not knowing how to reply him.

"I was only saying that because of the past life I've been into." Eren whipped his head to look at his lover, eyes widened after realizing that Rivaille had been eavesdropping.

"You are free to do whatever you want, brat." Armin smiled at the two of them, he patted Eren by his waist and waved his hand to them, bidding farewell to Rivaille before he went home alone.

"This world is full of freedom, you are free to choose whichever path you want, Eren. Don't be so hard on yourself if you think your heart says otherwise."

"I… I wanted to become a journalist." Eren muttered, that made Rivaille's lips curve up slightly.

"Then choose that path, fill in the details to Irvin and return that questioner. By the way, let's go somewhere right after you finished, there's some other thing I need to fulfill." Eren's smile widened and he gave an excited nod.

Eren stared at the sea wave while leaning against the car. The sky was painted by an orange hue mixed with slightly darker color on the upper side. Rivaille stepped closer to the barrier, hands into his pants pocket.

"Is this where you are planning to go?" He was curious about the choice of place.

"It's a promise from thousands years that we got to see the ocean together. I remembered the time we were in the dungeon for our last night. You told me that you wouldn't want to go alone, it would be meaningless to go to the ocean without me." Eren's heart clenched painfully when he heard him.

"We've watched the ocean from the cliff during the time we went to the cemetery together that time."

"That doesn't count, Eren. You didn't know anything that time." Eren gave a nod.

"I guess so, though I remembered seeing a sight of you wearing a green cloak with the freedom wings logo when you walked in front of me. I thought I was hallucinating." Eren smiled when Rivaille gave him a surprised look. "Now we got to see the ocean together." The teen whispered and walked closer to his lover. He enfolded his hand to Rivaille's arm and leaned into him, seeking warm in the cold night air. Rivaille ran his hand into his brown locks and kissed his forehead. Both of them stayed in a comfortable silence while their gaze stared over the horizon. They watched as the sky got darker and darker before their eyes. Eren was already getting emotional by the time the sky had turned dark. He wiped his tears away from his eyes and stood up straight. Rivaille noticed and he watched him closely.

"Are you alright?" Eren gave a nervous laugh.

"I'm not alright, I feel like I'm being left alone after this."

"Eren, I promise that I'll return, alright? You don't have to follow me to France. I'll make this work, okay?" Rivaille cupped his cheeks with both hands, staring intently at the boy.

"I wanted to say 'kiss me for the last time' but, I don't want it to be the last." Rivaille stiffened when he heard him.

"Yes, please don't say the last. I'll return when the Sakura blooms." Eren chuckled at him, he knew it was either the time he finished his second year or the time he graduated from high school. He leaned down to kiss the man he had given his heart to. They embraced each other, both not wanting to let go.


;v; Yes I know… next chp will be the last. n.n

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