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Mortal Embarrassment and Other Flirting Techniques

By Kate Wolf

Drama / Romance

Sword fights


It was his senior year, and Magnus Bane ruled the school. This was in large part due to the fact that he was rich, owned a penthouse downtown, and threw parties there every weekend. They were the place to be for anyone with any social life. This was fine with Magnus; it kept him on top of the social ladder and kept his thoughts well away from his ex-family and a very unhappy childhood. So he partied it up with the rest of them, got drunk a minimum of twice a week, and managed, through some brilliance and untold amounts of cheating, to pass all of his classes. He wanted desperately to graduate, thank you very much. By October, he was already cruising on top, the coolest of the cool, no matter that he slept with more boys than girls and pulled off more glitter than Kristen Chenowith. He strutted down the hallways of CCHS like he owned the place.

So when some new kid, a sophomore,no less, sneered at him like he could actually be better than Magnus Bane, the Great, the Glorious, and the Sparkly, things could have gotten very ugly, very fast. It wasn't as if everyone loved Magnus, quite the opposite; he was a notorious bitch and a drama queen. He just threw awesome parties and ruled the fashion scene. But Magnus had more cronies than enemies, and more self-confidence than was probably good for him. And no one was better than Magnus, especially not a new, blond, golden-eyed jock two years younger than him. And even more infuriating, when he gave that sophomore a glare, Blondie smirked at him! And that was not okay in the slightest. Magnus stomped off in the other direction in high-heeled boots, feeling distinctly ruffled and vowing to make Blondie pay.

Magnus, however, was all about appearances, so he forced himself to regain his cool. He paused outside his calculus class for a deep breath and to make sure his hair was still perfectly spiked. It was. Feeling reassured, he flung open the door and strode into the room. Camille, the scariest in a long line of exes, glared at him. Magnus ignored her, opting instead to wink at a pretty brunette and throw himself casually into his seat. There, he lounged majestically, at least, until Ragnor Fell walked in and promptly sat on him.

"Ragnor!" Magnus gasped. "Jesus, Fell! Get off of me!"

"But it's so comfortable here," Ragnor said innocently, flicking his shaggy brown hair out of his eyes. "Relax, Mag. Go with the flow, ya know?"

"Bastard!" Magnus coughed.

"No need to rub it in," Ragnor said cheerily. Magnus stabbed him in the back with a pencil.

"Ow!" Ragnor cried, jumping up so Magnus could breathe again. He whipped out a pen of his own. "Dastardly villain! A duel, if you dare!" He made swishing movements in the air with his pen.

"Engard!" Magnus yelled, leaping to his feet. They proceeded to have an intense fencing match, complete with mock cries of pain, insults flung as wildly as their arms, the cheering of their classmates, and much jumping on and over desks. Magnus, after shoving Ragnor cruelly into Camille's lap, managed to crash very inelegantly into a boy coming through the door. Magnus, though he had certainly never met this boy before, barely had the attention to spare for a very hot combination of black hair and absurdly blue eyes; he took the time only to bow low and say gallantly, "Excuse me, good sir., I was just defeating this charmingly evil rogue. My regards." He nodded sagely and leapt onto a desk, gleefully continuing his match with Ragnor.

It was just before the bell rang when Magnus managed to trip Ragnor, and proudly, put his foot on the other boy's chest, holding his pencil triumphantly in the air. "I have defeated the mighty Ragnor Fell!" Magnus yelled to the class. Everyone laughed and clapped as Magnus helped his best friend to his feet and they bowed. They even managed to make it back to their seats before the teacher could make it back into the room and start scolding them. They smirked at each other, holding back laughter. Magnus barely even noticed the adorable new boy heading up to the teacher's desk, trying to look as un-idiotic as a new kid, a junior in a class full of seniors, could possibly look. It was a Friday, after all, and Magnus was busy. He had a party to plan.


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