The Consequences of Dying

The Goodbyes

Jacob

"Bella…please listen to me before you go all crazy on me!" I protested before she had the chance to attack. I could tell she already knew, the piano-player must've told her.

"I've made up my mind Jake, there's nothing you can say to change that…" she said harshly, clearly not willing to loosen her arms from their stone-like vice position.

"Would saying 'I love you' change anything?" I asked seriously, sitting on the edge of the bed. She hadn't moved a single inch from her position; it was like she was made out of stone. It was so un-like Bella that it made me think for a moment whether they had already changed her.

"I might've if you had meant it…" she said bitterly, pulling her knees up to her arms and adding them to her vice-like grip.

"I do mean it! How could you think that I didn't? I love you so much Bella!" I objected, standing up and pacing around the bed, trying to calm my emotions down.

"You don't mean that anymore. You love Verity…you love my sister…" she reminded me angrily. I could tell she was clearly jealous and the best way to vent out her anger was at me. Didn't she know that none of this was my fault?

"I didn't ask for that to happen Bella! She was there and it sorta just happened and if I could change it I would. I would do anything in the entire world to be imprinted with you Bella…" I told her kindly, sitting next to her on the gold bed. With some effort, I managed to extract her hand and hold it in mine.

"I know Jacob. There's a part of me that would be willing to do anything to be with you, even give up Edward. But it's very small, too small. There's nothing we can do anymore. You've been imprinted by Verity and I'm married to Edward…there's nothing more you can do. You need to leave…" she said, her voice getting feebler as the words came out.

"Of course there's something I can do! I can convince you do not go through with this…this thing! It's bizarre, its barbaric…it's horrific!" I cried out before I realised what I was saying.

"I see. You think I'm going to become a monster. I completely understand Jacob. It's not your fault. But I'm still doing it, there's nothing you can say. In fact you're just making it worse…" she said sadly, her harsh tone gone.

"But imagine what you're life could be! We can still be together…you can divorce Edward and I'll…I'll…" I stammered, thinking not only of the words but of the idea itself.

"What will you do Jacob? Un-Imprint yourself from Verity? I couldn't let you do that to yourself…I couldn't let you do that to Verity…" she said softly, tears falling from her eyes.

I rushed to her side, sitting so close that our faces were inches apart. I leaned in to kiss her but she pushed me away. I could have forced it like I had done before, but I knew it would be wrong.

"Jacob…don't do this. It was okay the first time, but I'm married now. I can't go having an affair with you after being married to Edward for one day! I couldn't hurt him like that!" she cried, letting the tears fall freely.

"But you're willing to hurt me?" I retorted, anger spreading through my veins, or was that my skin quivering? I wasn't sure.

"I don't want to. But at least it'll comfort me knowing that Verity will make you happy one day. That you'll eventually forget that you had ever loved anyone else…" she whispered, choked with tears.

"And you'll eventually forget about me…humans memories fade…" I repeated what Edward had told me, not really saying it directly to her.

"Oh Jacob! I didn't know you knew! Please forgive me, I'll never be able to live a non-existent life without you forgiving me!" she cried out again, crying into her bed sheets.

"I think we both need to forgive each other. We're both going to forget that our love ever existed. I used to think that love could overcome anything…until now…" I blurted out, doing the whole not-thinking-before-I-talk-thing again.

"Yeah, how is love meant to over come imprinting and eternal damnation?" she laughed through her tears, still holding the bed sheets close to her face as tears continued to pour down her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry I'm going to fall in love with your sister and forget that I loved you so much…" I said, looking into her eyes with a desperate need for her to accept my apology.

"I'm sorry I'm going to damn myself to lifeless oblivion and forget that I loved you so much…" Bella replied, still weeping.

I brought her into a strong, forceful hug which was my speciality and she allowed me to stroke her hair as she wept into my shoulder.

We were silent for a couple of minutes.

"Jacob…I think you better go now…" she said softly, staring at me as if she wanted to memorise me forever. Both she and I knew that her memory, all the memories of me, would fade within the next three days, which for me was like an eternity.

"Bella…I love you…" I said instead of goodbyes. I knew well enough that Bella didn't cope well with goodbyes. I kissed her soft skin and it blushed an amazing pink colour. I also knew that this would be the last time I would see her skin blush.

"I love you too Jacob…" she said in return, kissing my cheek as well. It infuriated me that I could go no further and all because she was married. I wanted nothing more than to tear that ring off her finger, rip up the wedding certificate and give her a kiss on her lips that would last forever…

But there was no forever where Bella and I were concerned. For her it would be three days, for me it would be eighteen years until Verity was my age. Everyday for those eighteen years, I would think of Bella everyday and remember how easily she had forgotten about me. At least she didn't spent much time regretting or missing me.

I gave her one last look, touched her cold cheek with my warm hand and left her, knowing that I had just seen Bella as a human for the very last time…


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