Bella remained perfectly normal for the rest of her twelve hour dose. She didn't squirm or anything, she simply laid there, expecting the pain. She even allowed Alice, Jasper and Emmett to come visit her because she wasn't yelling in pain. Jasper immediately took a step back once he entered the room.
"What is it?" I asked quickly, trying to control my panic so that he wouldn't feel it. It seemed that whatever Bella was feeling was already too much for him.
"It's nothing…Bella just has some…complex emotions…" he tried to explain without revealing any of Bella's personal feelings. But obviously I pulled a quick one on him and read his mind before he could even realise what I had done.
Firstly, Bella felt confused more than anything. She felt lonely because she had forgotten all her friends and family. Then she felt scared for the pain that she knew was coming and then worried about whether or not she would be a blood-thirsty monster once the transformation was complete. Additionally, she felt self-conscious once the others had entered the room.
That must have been a lot for Jasper to handle all at once. But he managed to control it in time to calm the mood down and add a bit of ease to the atmosphere. He went for the more peaceful mood than he did a happy mood, it was annoying how he was able to control my emotions but he had obvious taken away my indignation just like that.
"Hey guys!" Bella said somewhat brightly. She smiled but I could tell it was put on and that it was only because of Jasper's effect on her.
"How are you feeling?" Alice asked quickly, not meeting my eyes. I could tell she wanted to see whether Bella was thirsty yet. Alice wanted to piece together whether Bella would run after Verity even more than I did.
"Right now I'm alright…" Bella answered truthfully, as she always did. I sat down next to her and took her hand and she smiled at me.
"Are you feeling…thirsty at all?" Alice asked quickly, almost as if she was interrogating her. She had a nervous look on her face, maybe she was about to have another vision.
"No…not in that sense…" Bella answered, frowning. "Why'd you ask? What's happening?" she asked as Jasper's face indicated that he was experiencing a wave of worry.
"Alice, I don't think we should go there" I interrupted as I saw Alice's mouth open as well as read her mind. I had clearly made the decision that Bella was not to know about her insane blood-thirst for Verity. It would crush her so much.
"Why not? Please tell me!" she cried as another wave of calmness entered the room from Jasper. I squeezed her hand; it would be too hard to explain.
"Maybe another time? Now's not the best time…your morphine will fade away shortly…" I warned her, checking my watch just in case. Her first day of transformation was almost complete.
"Oh-my-gosh! You all have to leave! I'm so sorry but I can't have you see me in that state! Especially you Jasper!" Bella cried out again, sitting up and gesturing that they leave. She gave an additional sympathetic look to Jasper, who merely nodded as he left the room.
"Can I stay?" I teased, flashing her a smile to charm her into saying yes. I do admit that I use the fact that I dazzle Bella frequently to my advantage a bit too many times.
"For a while, I don't like you seeing me this way either…" she said honestly, lying back down on the pillows, anticipating the pain.
"I don't like seeing you in pain…I feel so helpless…" I told her, stroking her hair. I had just realised that it was becoming easier to be around Bella without the urge to drink her blood. This obviously meant that he blood was slowly fading and soon there would be no scent left to associate with Bella's once pink skin.
"Edward, what was Alice going to tell me? Who was this Verity you were muttering about? Stop dodging all my questions and leaving me with no answers! I need to know if anything's gone wrong!" she exclaimed, reaching out for my face as she stroked my cheek softly.
"I really wish I could Bella, but now's not the time to be dealing with extra stress. Let me lighten your burden and carry this one with me until the pain is gone. I know how much you're dealing with, Jasper made it a dead giveaway." I laughed lightly, taking her hand from my face and placing it in mine.
"But that's the problem Edward…because I am thirsty…" she sighed heavily, not looking into my eyes. "It's this specific scent which lingers on my clothes. I don't know whose it is but I crave it so desperately…it unbearable…"
I didn't say anything straight away. I remained silent. She had held Verity that day, her scent must have lingered on her clothes, why did I not think of that? Bella admitted herself that she craved Verity's scent desperately, which meant that she was going to go and hunt her down.
"Edward please say something! I need you to teach me how to control myself! I don't want to kill anyone! Please Edward, I don't want to be a monster!" she cried, clinging onto my shirt.
It was my turn to sigh as I pushed her back onto the bed. I had to think things through now. I kissed her softly on the lips as she started to moan with pain. The moaning turned into screaming over the next few minutes.
"I'll give you your privacy. Just remember that monster or no monster, I'll always love you…" I called out, over her screaming, as I left the room and left her to her agony.