The Consequences of Dying

The Morals

Jacob

The following night, I was at Bella's again. Verity was handed to me delicately and the house was soon empty. It was weird being in Bella's house after just seeing her at Edward's earlier that day. I remembered everything about her and yet she barely remembered my name.

The worst part was the screaming. It was like I was sent to bring her to hell or something. She just wouldn't stop screaming. It burnt my heart, every renewed scream piercing it until I was convinced I couldn't breathe.

But then the screaming stopped and the even worse part presented itself. Bella craved Verity's scent. She didn't even know it was her sister. But still… If she never learned how to control herself…she would end up killing Verity.

I looked down at the happy child. She was gurgling and smiling. She was always happy, hardly ever cried unless necessary. It made me love her more, it was clear that Verity could bring me nothing but happiness.

What would I do if Bella killed her? If I discovered in the future that the girl I used to love killed the girl that I currently loved, what would happen? I closed my eyes and thought myself into the situation, as horrible as it may be…

I had just returned from running with the pack. It had been eighteen years since Bella left Forks. Verity was now my fiancé. She was beautiful with her dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. She was always happy and smiling and could cheer anyone up. I walked through the door to find the house a mess and Verity as a mangled corpse on the floor. There was no blood on the crime scene.

Immediately, I imagined myself crying and eager for revenge. Before anything, I buried Verity's corpse. It was cold and light from the lack of blood, almost like a skeleton. I would instantly tell who it had been and I would run to the Cullen's house in my werewolf form. Bella would be in the room with Edward, crying over what she had done, but I wouldn't care. I'd barge in, snatch Bella and run with her into the woods. I'd tear her to shreds without thinking, forming a pile.

I'd strike the match and throw it over the broken limbs.

I gasped and opened my eyes. Had I really just imagined myself killing Bella? I was in the flow of things, I wasn't thinking straight. That had to be it. I would never kill Bella, not in a million years, let alone eighteen.

I breathed deeply. Calming myself down. As my mind calmed down, my thoughts recollected. The harsh reality hit me harder than any physical instrument could.

I realised that I would indeed kill Bella, because I loved Verity too much. Even more than Bella. I stared down at the girl who had destroyed yet created my life. She smiled and her blue eyes brightened when our eyes met.

I wanted to cry, do something to relieve me of these horrible thoughts. When it came down to the facts, I would kill Bella to avenge Verity. I hated myself for it but there was no changing the truth, it was there right in front of me.

"Jacob?" someone called out from outside the house.

"Embry? Is that you?" I called out as I opened the door and let him in. No one else was there, it was only him. He looked anxious.

He came and sat inside, constantly looking around. He also glanced at Verity and smiled for the first time in ages.

"What happened?" I asked him immediately, sitting down with Verity in my arms. She started to fall asleep.

"It's this plan…the attack…I don't think I can do it…" Embry blurted out, always moving. He seemed really unsteady.

"It's me that shouldn't be doing it! What's your reason?" I exclaimed quietly, rocking Verity back and forth gently.

"It's killing them. They don't deserve it! They aren't harming us! Bella wanted to get bitten! It was okay with the newborn vampires, they were set on causing destruction and killing Bella. But these vampires, they strive to do the right thing constantly. They've never harmed a human willingly! They only bit her because she wanted to! What we're doing is wrong! We should just leave them alone! Sam doesn't seem to understand…" Embry spluttered, continually pouring out his thoughts into me.

"But the treaty…" I started, but he cut me off.

"Screw the treaty! No one cares about the treaty! Sam just wants to pull on over on them, he's been desperate to attack them since we first worked with them to fight the newborns off! I can't do it! I won't do it! It's immoral!" he yelled, until I pointed at Verity, he calmed down. "I'm going to hell…" he murmured.

"No one's going to hell! Listen to me. We don't have to do it if we don't want to. Sam will just make it out like we're cowards, but that doesn't matter! I don't want to do this either! I can't kill Bella!" I told him sternly.

"But you've even said that you want to kill Edward! I heard you in your mind…" Embry said with a harsh tone.

"I wasn't being serious! Bella loves Edward! I couldn't do that to her! Edward just infuriates me sometimes beyond reasoning…" I told him truthfully.

"You know as fully as I do that Sam will make us come along…"Embry said, not looking at me at all. He was still shaking slightly.

"I know…we can go…but we don't have to do anything…" I tried to reason with Embry, who just seemed beyond a point of trying to reason with.

"But if the vampires attack us, we'll have to attack them! I don't want to hurt them…but if I get carried away whilst trying to protect myself…" It was clear that he was obviously having a very heavy internal battle over this.

"We'll go talk to Sam and the others. We'll do something. No one is killing anyone!" I told him defiantly.

He seemed to calm down after that. But I could tell her was still unstable, his internal battle still heavily armed. He didn't look at me once as he said his goodbye to me and Verity and walked out the door.

Embry was always like that. Thinking about the moral side of things. He was always logical and only wanted to do immoral things if necessary. It made me think.

Did I have no morals when I was thinking about killing Bella?



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