The Consequences of Dying

The Desires


When I had signed up to becoming a vampire, it didn't even cross my mind that I would be like Edward, Jasper or Alice. I presumed I'd be normal and yet here I was, able to tell what people wanted most in the world with the touch of a finger.

My third and final day was definitely the best. The pain was finally beginning to subside so I was able to enjoy the other Cullens being in the room. I had used my power on the Cullens except Rosalie who still refused to take any part in all this transformation business.

Edward had left once the other Cullens came in. I could tell he was angry at me but a small part of me recognised the signs of him being angry at himself. I tried to ignore it whilst I had fun with the other Cullen's and used my power but half of me was still lingering on Edward as if half of me had left with him.

Firstly, Emmett came in grinning widely. He seemed rather annoyed that I might not do anything clumsy and stupid now that I was a graceful vampire. Alice, who was probably more excited about my power than I was, instantly filled Emmett in on what I could do. He was amazed and wanted to see it for himself.

So I touched his rock hard biceps and my eyes closed. I saw Emmett hunting bears with Rosalie and the rest of us. I was there too. Everyone was having fun, including Rosalie. This was obvious. Emmett wanted Rosalie to fit in with the Cullens more, she always seemed a little too detached. He especially wished that Rosalie and I would get along. I felt a guilty seeing this.

I explain it to him and he seemed pretty impressed. He rustled my already untidy hair and decided that he should go and check up on Rosalie since he hadn't seen her in almost three days.

Then Carlisle and Esme came in together as a happy couple. They weren't surprised when Alice told them the news. Carlisle said something about the fact that Edward bit me gave me a more likely chance of getting a power because he had one. It confused me a bit.

I was going to use my power on them, since Alice wanted me to do it on pretty much everyone but Carlisle held his hand up to stop me.

"There's no need Bella. Everything we want is the exact same as what it is now. Edward is happy, you're officially a part of the family. All my children are happy so Esme and I are happy." He explained. I lowered my hand.

The final one to enter was Jasper. I was kinda curious about him. I had never really appreciated his power till now. He had to burden the emotions of everyone else, which must be hard, especially with Edward always around.

"I'm feeling a lot better Jasper, you can come in" I told him since Jasper was hovering around the door, unsure of whether he should come in or not.

"Emmett said something about you having a power?" he said cheerfully as he came and sat next to my bed. I was shocked by this. Jasper has never willingly been this close to me. He's always been on his guard.

But then I realised that Jasper was only ever on his guard because I was human and he wanted to kill me. But now that I was almost a vampire, he could hang around me like his usual self. This would take some getting used to.

"Yeah, I can see what you most desire…" I said happily. This was the first time I had been able to say what my power was instead of Alice saying it first. She remained quiet, apparently allowing me and Jasper to bond.

"Can you show me?" he asked shyly. I could tell he wasn't used to being this close to me, he had always kept his distance.

I hesitated for a moment. I held my hand out so it touched his amazingly cold hand. I closed my eyes and saw Jasper somewhere in the South of America, with Alice of course. He seemed to be a general or something for the US army and was perfectly fine with being around humans.

"You and Alice are in the South somewhere. You're a general of the US army and you're able to be around humans. You can even handle blood in first aid, just like Carlisle…" I told him slowly.

"Yeah, that makes sense. I miss being in the South in the army life. I also wish I could be more like Carlisle everyday which is obvious after what happened at your last birthday…" he said thoughtfully, bringing up an awkward subject.

"Let's not worry about that shall we?" Alice piped up, smiling broadly. She reached over and took Jasper's hand. "Edward's going to return. Let's give them some privacy…"

I watched as they walked out. Seconds later a knock sounded from the door. I yelled for him to come in. I prayed that he'd calmed down after his little walk.

"Hey Edward…" I said calmly. Now that the room was filled with tension, the background pain I had been ignoring came back.

"Bella…let me explain…" he started, but I cut him off.

"Edward, there's nothing to explain. So your desire is for me to be human. I get it. Can't we just forget about it?" I asked, taking his hand and pulling him onto the bed. He reluctantly lay down next to be, but above the covers. Didn't he realise that I was burning and that he was ice? The combination meant true bliss.

"No. I need to explain. I won't exactly regret what I did to you, but I certainly believe that if there is a hell, I've just condemned myself to the deepest fire of it…" he explained, staring upwards at the ceiling.

"I love you more than anything in the world. Me wanting you to be human doesn't change how much I love you. It makes no difference that you're a vampire now. In fact, I love you more. You ended your human life just for me. But now I feel that I'm not good enough for you. You want to spend the rest of forever with me, but what if it's not like you expected? I'll hate myself forever…" he said sadly.

"Edward, you over think way too much. Can you just leave the what if questions and future with Alice?" I pleaded, cuddling up next to him. Why was he on top of the covers? How on earth could he think that he wasn't good enough for me? If I was bothered, I would have retaliated, but I didn't have enough effort in me.

"But Bella…how can you just forgive me like that? Without an explanation?" he asked, turning on his side to look into my eyes.

"Edward, just shut up and kiss me!" I demanded, leaning in towards his face.

Thankfully, he obliged. His cold lips hit my burning lips to create a blissful kiss that made me crave further action. His hand went through my hair, his lips pushed harder against mine. I pushed myself against him, crushing my body into his. He allowed this and tightened his hold on my hair. His lips were demanding, yet soft at the same time. I ran my hand through his hair too, clutching it as I attempted to push up even closer against his rock hard chest.

I realised that there was no reason to stop now. There was no reason for limits or for him to freeze up and move away. This was actually it.

But then he did. He moved away, his lips letting go of mine. I moaned and for once it wasn't because of the pain.

"Let's wait until the transformation's complete…" he smiled, kissing my head lightly.

Stupid three days of transformation…why can't it go by quicker?

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