The Consequences of Dying

The Blame

Bella

I lunged at Edward. The love of my life. I was actually attacking him with all my newborn strength. What on earth was I doing?

But I had forgotten about Edward's strength, he grabbed me with his stone-like arms and locked my arms behind me. I struggled ruthlessly to get away but his bond on my hands was too strong. I was trapped.

"We're leaving" he whispered calmly into my ears. He half-threw me onto his back, his arms locked around mine around his neck whilst I tied my legs around his waist so I didn't fall off.

We ran. We ran further than I could have ever imagined. The scent was fading, but it still lingered on my clothes. I needed to change. We ran past the Cullen house, now I was getting confused.

"Where are we going?" I said right into his ear. I was feeling more myself again. The monster Bella was gone, but only for now.

"Jacob was right; I should have taken you away from here when I had the chance. This is all my fault Bella, I'm so sorry. I should have realised that your self-control wouldn't be similar to mine yet. Mine took years of practice. I should have known. We're leaving." he muttered to himself, but my newly acclaimed hearing skills allowed me to listen to his words carefully.

"YOUR FAULT?" I screamed into his ear, yet he didn't flinch at the loudness, "How is this all your fault? I'm the one who...attacked her! I'm the one who trapped that guy in the closet and left that other guy lying on the floor unconscious. It's my fault that Verity's hurt!"

"I need to go back for her. I don't believe I just left her there like that. But I knew it was more dangerous to leave you next to her and take her to the hospital then it was just leaving her. I am going to hell, abandoning a hurt child like that…" Edward muttered again, talking to himself more than to me. He still hadn't answered my question but I decided that now was not the best time to pester him.

"Where exactly are we going? A name of a place may be useful…" I asked softly, I could feel the hostility in the air and any attempt to reduce it would be pointless, but I still tried.

"I'm taking you to La Push, the treaty's been completely broken so there's no point in me not stepping on their land now," Edward said, as I realised that we had stopped running. Edward must have ran slower because he was on enemy land, he had to be cautious.

"Do you really think they'd accept me? I'm a vampire too remember! They'll kill me!" I said matter-of-factly as I slid off Edward's back.

"I'm not taking you to the werewolves. I'm taking you to Billy…" Edward said obviously, how quickly had he thought all of this through? His sense of knowing what to do was amazing.

"Who's Billy? How do you know he won't hand us over straight to the werewolves?" I asked, by the look on his face I knew that this was one of them things I should have known.

"He's Charlie's, your dad's, friend. He wouldn't let you get hurt. And he won't see me" he replied.

"You're leaving me?" I panicked, clinging onto his clothes and holding him tightly. His chest was rock hard, as always, but since I had become a vampire this ice-cold stone feature felt amazingly comfortable.

"I have to! I have to go back to Verity. I couldn't live with myself if I was the one who hurt her…" he said, trying to mask the feeling of pain in his voice. I had known him for too long, I could immediately tell.

"It wasn't your fault! It was mine, all mine! I'm a monster, you should kill me now. What if I hurt this Billy person? What if Verity is hurt? I wouldn't be able to live with myself either!" I cried, my tears landing on his collar.

"Bella you are not a monster! You just don't have much self-control. I was exactly like you when I first went vampire. In fact, you're even better than I was. You're still sane even though the scent is still lingering. I would have gone made by now…" Edward said with an attempted joke-like tone. It didn't work.

"Promise me you'll come back…" I whispered, wiping my eyes.

"I can't make promises anymore. I promised you that I wouldn't let you or Verity get hurt, and look how that turned out. I'm sorry Bella, I can't make promises." he replied, not looking at me.

"But you will come back! You don't have to promise or anything, just say you will!" I yelped, convinced that he was just going to leave me here forever.

"I hope so," was his answer as he gave me a swift kiss on the lips, a quick hug and ran off into the distance.

I hope so too, Edward, I hope so too.


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