So, here I am, in the woods, crying dry tears at the fact that everyone wants me to be human. Why did no one tell me this before hand? Exactly why is it that nowadays that the only way I can find out the truth from somebody is by touching their skin? This power is an evil gift, amazing yet horrifying at the same time.
I wiped my cheeks mindlessly before I realised that there weren't actually any tears there. Darn, maybe I do remember some of my human characteristics somewhere deep in my subconscious mind. I reached up and touched my silky, fluid hair. It was smooth and wavy, just how I had always wanted it to be. But now it was a reminder of how I wasn't human, what could be one of the biggest mistakes of my existence.
I tried to calm myself down, why did I want to become a vampire in the first place? Well there was the beauty part, the not being clumsy part, the not growing old part: all completely obvious to someone as plain as me, or as plain as I used to be. And the main reason: Edward. I became a vampire to spend the rest of eternity with him, staying up all night with him, being with him all day, hunting with him, it was all for him. And where was he now? When I needed him the most, to convince me that I had made the right choice? He was off saving Verity like the stupid, noble vampire that he was. And what was I? A blood-thirsty vampire, hell-bent on killing my own sister. How was it that two people so different could end up being each other's soul-mates? It made me question whether Edward and I were each other's soul mates. Maybe Edward's soul mate was human Bella, not vampire Bella. Maybe vampire Bella and Edward didn't get on at all? What would happen then? Would I spend the rest of eternity regretting my very existence? I prayed that that wouldn't come true.
My answer was basically right in front of me. Edward couldn't promise that he would return, he had never been like that before. He had always said things like that he would always be here as long as I wanted him and now when I wanted him, in fact, when I needed him he was nowhere to be seen. Maybe Edward had given up on me after all.
Finally, after ages, I made my way out of the woods and wandered along the side lines, kicking rocks so that they skidded about a mile off into the distance, I kept forgetting about my new strength too. I wished that I could just forget all of it, everything that led me up to this point in my life, except for the Cullen's of course. I already knew, that no matter what Edward did, no matter how much he hurt me or how much he hated me, I would always love him beyond reasoning. It was a simple fact, no strings attached.
Out of nowhere, literally nowhere, just when I thought that Edward had disappeared forever, he was there. His hair was windswept and his eyes were full of panic, I stared at him. Was he really here or was he a mirage? I blinked stupidly until I decided that it was him, He had been speaking whilst my mind was deciding whether or not I was insane, so I missed everything that he was saying.
"What's happening?" I asked clearly, over his rapid mouth movements which weren't coherent to me at all.
"Esme's in trouble. We have to leave now!" He stated clearly, grabbing my hand and running at full speed. If I hadn't taken an instinct reaction to run with him, my arm would have come off, not something you see every day.
As we were running, my mind was at peace to think. So he had come back for me, he did still love me. Or had he come back to get help for Esme or some other completely different reason? Why was I analysing the situation so much? As far as I could tell, for now, Edward still loved me as much as I loved him.
Everything happened so quickly, I wasn't even sure whether it happened or not.
Firstly, Edward already knew exactly what happening, stupid omniscient-like power of his and all. So I was still confused, we barged straight into the house. Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett were nowhere to be seen. Edward, with his fingers still intertwined with mine, took us to the kitchen. It was a heart-stopping sight.
Jacob (I think that's right) was in his werewolf form, I recognised the colour of his fur and had an unconscious Esme held in both his paws, her arm was dangling and the sling created to hold it was hanging on for dear life. Carlisle was about two metres away, his hands in front of him in a surrendering position, trying to talk to the werewolf and persuade to let Esme go. Edward and I walked in slowly, the werewolf took a step back, Esme still wasn't moving.
"Please let her go, kill me instead, just don't hurt her, don't hurt the others, just place her on the kitchen table and I'll go wherever you want," Carlisle pleaded, his voice a clear indication to his pain and suffering.
Edward immediately growled, apparently Jacob was considering taking Carlisle instead, and neither Edward nor I would allow that.
"Edward, Bella, go to my office like the others. I can handle this," he spoke softly, in a soothing voice. I was almost compelled to go, if the effect hadn't worked on Edward, who hadn't moved an inch. He stood in his rock-hard position, looking like a sculpture. "Now" he added sternly. Edward didn't bat an eyelid, instead he growled.
"He doesn't want Esme." Edward roared in a whisper, his voice restrained from explosion. I forgot that he could read Jacob's mind. "He wants the one who killed Quil..."
I took in an unnecessary breath. Quil was dead? Why did no one tell me this? No one was meant to die over me becoming a vampire. Apparently Carlisle was surprised as I was.
"One of us killed Quil?" He breathed, staring at Edward as if he could read his mind.
Edward nodded, not declaring which one did it.
"Jacob, Jacob please. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I know you must hate me, I almost hurt Verity, and I'm officially a vampire. It's really hard to bear but please don't take it out on the Cullen's. If there is anyone, anyone you should be angry with, it should be me." I said in an outburst of guilt and regret.
Edward again growled beside me, he was obviously not happy with my offer for Jacob to take me instead. He probably thought this was so typical of me; I was always doing it, like when I went to meet James to save Renee.
Slowly, Jacob crept forward and delicately placed Esme on the table. He signalled for me to come outside with him. I was just about to take a step forward when...
"No! Don't you even dare think about it! Do you really think I'm going to stand here and let him take you away from me?" He hissed quietly, only his lips moving, the rest of him remained still.
"This is my fault Edward. I need to sort things out, and besides, I have vampire powers. I don't need protecting anymore." I reminded him. Unexpectedly, I noticed the look on his face. There was struggle and pain, as if he was sad that he didn't need to protect me anymore. That I didn't need a guardian angel standing above me. My heart shattered. I didn't mean it like that! Of course I needed him to look after me, just not in certain ways anymore. It was hard to explain.
"After you." I told Jacob, who gave me a cautious look before stepping out into the back garden. Edward slowly released his grasp on my hand and our finger slid past each other's fluidly until we were no longer connected. "I love you" I whispered quietly. His face was inflicted with pain and misery as I turned around and left him. He had nothing else to say.
And then I turned around and walked away from him without knowing whether or not I'd ever see him again.