I was going to kill her. I was about 99% sure of this. Her blood scent felt like a dozen roses were hovering directly underneath my nose. Her reddish cheeks were like steaks. The sound of her heart beat was like a countdown timer, the number limited until its inevitable, and untimely, end.
I was meant to be making a choice between Verity and Jacob. I was meant to be deciding who lived and who died.
But the answer was that it was either both of them would survive…or neither of them would survive.
And all my vampire instincts were telling me it would be easier if they were both out of the picture. My mind was picturing this beautiful future of Edward and I staying together in Forks with me, having no blood lust and Edward, having no werewolf that I was previously in love with to worry about. We could stay forever in the place we called home and live in peace.
And all I had to do was sacrifice two people for it.
But then my human instincts were screaming at me. What was I thinking? This was my sister. Jacob was my best friend who I had even once loved. How could I do this to them? Was I truly that evil?
Was I truly that monstrous?
I thoughts became more and more incoherent as Renee stepped closer and closer. I was starting to shake with panic. She was going to put Verity in my arms. She was going to hand he baby over to death.
Whilst these thoughts were crossing my mind, I was maintaining a conversation with Renee about her staying in Forks. My lips were telling them to stay but my mind was telling me to kill. I was two different people at the same.
I was the Bella who was going this to help Jacob. I was going to fight the blood lust and let Jacob be with Verity. I was doing this out of my human love for them both.
But I was also the Bella who was going to kill them. I was going to give into my temptations and bloodlust and kill her. In fact, I was going to kill them both. I wasn't going to let Jacob kill me after I had killed Verity.
"Bella?" Renee asked with a worried expression on her face. I hadn't responded to Phil's idea of them staying if I wanted them to.
"I-I…"I stuttered as my mind went into overdrive.
"Here sweetie, take one look at her and you'll know if you want her to stay in your life," Renee said calmly as she lifted Verity up…
…and gently placed her in my hands.
The vision was instant.
It was cloudy. Verity didn't know what was her greatest desire was. She was just a baby. All I could see was shapes and colours. Renee and Phil's faces appeared, she wanted to spend her live loving them, she wanted to grow up with them. Jacob's face even appeared, she wanted to spend her time playing with him.
And then my face appeared. She wanted to know who I was, why I looked different. She wanted to know me.
And time stopped. Everything just stopped. The sisterly bond that I never had with Verity came rushing into my life like a tidal wave.
I loved this girl. I loved her with all my heart and all my soul. I wanted to watch her grow up, I wanted to watch her learn and laugh and play. I wanted to watch her slowly fall in love with Jacob.
I wanted her to be happy.
And suddenly time started again and I took a deep breath in. Her scent had changed. My mind processed it in a different way. It smelt of roses and baby powder. I wanted to hold her forever.
"Stay," I whispered as I gazed into Verity's eyes. "Please stay."
Renee burst into tears, happy tears.
"Of course we'll stay! I knew you wouldn't want us to leave! I just knew it!" She cried. Phil gave me an approving nod as if to say 'I thought so'.
And then Jacob burst into the room.
"They're staying Jacob!" I cheered as I recognised the shock register and then disappear from his face.
"That's great news! What made you change your mind?" he asked calmly, he was trying to process what had just happened.
Renee sprang up and gave a fast, teary explanation.
But I wasn't listening, because Jacob and I had both registered our thoughts without saying them. We had both connected as brother and sister.
Jacob, Verity and me. We had finally fit together like pieces of a puzzle.