The Conversation Continued
Still in my wolf-form, I huddled under the tree, as grey clouds brewed over me. I never wanted to leave this spot. I would remain here until I had figured out how to reverse time and stop this all from happening.
"Jacob?" Came the voice of the person I did not want to talk to.
"Do you really think this is a good time?" I thought harshly, knowing that he was in my mind. He remained silent at first and came and sat on a tree stump nearby, picking up a twig and twirling it in his fingers.
"I can understand what you're going through…" he started, but my thoughts cut him off.
"Do you? Do you really? Can you really understand how my life has crumbled to pieces because I've been imprinted? I should be happy; I've found the girl I'm spending the rest of my life with! Look at me, I'm miserable! How dare you even think that you can understand? It's okay for you, you have Bella…you always did have Bella…"
"You're specifically making things complicated for yourself Jake. Your life hasn't crumbled at all. Don't you realising that whether you were imprinted or not makes no difference to your misery? The only reason you're miserable is because you've only just realised that Bella was never and will never be yours…" he said softly, almost in a patronising tone. I snarled at him with a sudden urge to lunge at him.
"You think you know everything. Look Mr Omniscient, let's get this straight. You will never understand how much I love Bella, so you'll never understand why getting imprinted by her sister is so difficult for me. You've got it easy, you'll always have Bella. You've never had to deal with not getting to be with her…" I thought viciously, wishing I could talk to get my message across. But that wasn't possible; my emotions were still in chaos.
"I've had to deal with not being with Bella. I had to leave before things got out of hand, I've never experienced such misery…" he started, a sad tone to his voice.
"But you chose to leave her! You had a choice to be with Bella and you decided against it! I've never had the chance, but if I did I would chose Bella always. But now I know that it'll always be Bella's sister…" I said regretfully, by voice filled with self-pity.
"Her name's Verity…" he said suddenly.
And my heart swelled again, just with this piece of information. I whined at the pain as my heart expanded beyond its capacity. I knew from then on, that if it was a choice between Bella and Verity, it would be Verity every time. I hated myself for this.
"Why are you upset that you'd choose Verity?" Edward asked quietly.
"Because I love Bella, but not enough to overcome the fact that I've been imprinted. It hurts to know that all my love is going to waste…" I thought, on the verge of exploding at him through my mind again.
"You're love is not going to waste. You just wait. In eighteen years time, Verity will be the only person you'll ever see, you'll even forget Bella eventually…"
I exploded. "I DON'T WANT TO FORGET BELLA!" I screamed at him in my head. "I LOVE BELLA, HOW ON EARTH DOES THAT MAKE SENSE IF I FORGET ABOUT HER?"
"She'll forget about you eventually you know. Human memories fade. Once she's one of us, she'll slowly forget who you are, what you meant to her and how much she loved you. She'll forget that she ever loved you…" he whispered, his voice was sympathetic, almost filled with pain for having to be the one to do this to Bella.
"What? That isn't true. Bella would never forget me, no matter what she is…" as I thought this, I could hear how scared I sounded in my own head. Fear clung to my thoughts like they would never let go. Panic surged through me. Bella, forgetting that she ever loved me? That I ever existed? It was enough to drive me to suicide.
But Edward was to blame for this. He was the one that was going to change her. He was the one that would make her forget all about me, which was probably all the more better for him.
"Jacob, please understand. If I had things my way, she would still be human and she'd still remember you. This was all Bella's choice…" Edward pleaded.
"BELLA WOULD NEVER CHOOSE TO FORGET THAT I EXISTED!" I shouted in my head, my anger rising to a point where my blood burnt under my skin.
And that's when I snapped. I just lunged at him, forcing all my weight onto him. He didn't retaliate as I roared at his face, pinning him down flat.
"Think about Bella. Would killing me really make her any happier?" he said simply. I knew that if he wanted to, he could have thrown me off him. I wasn't ignorant to the strength of vampires. But the fact that he wasn't doing anything, but expecting me to willingly give him up in the name of Bella's happiness made me even angrier at him.
So I slowly let go of him and without another thought, I scampered off into the darkness of the woods.