The Baby Theory

By awesome_sadist

Romance / Humor

Ch 3: The Baby is formed

Percy and Annabeth sat by the canoe lake talking about their recent vacation. The two finally had time to hang-out after a hectic afternoon of avoiding and tuning out catcalls and whatnot by fellow campers.

The soft blow of the wind, the lovely sunset view and the feel of their feet soaked in the cool lake made them sigh in utter bliss and relaxation. Everything felt so perfect (and romantic, Percy thought) that both teens ignored the eavesdroppers and their giggles behind the bushes.

After a minute of complete silence, Percy decided to voice out the thing that bothered him all day. Naturally, he asked the blonde beside him.

"What did Ares do to you?"

At Annabeth's confused look, Percy started explaining what he saw in his dream and noticed the frown forming on her face.

"Actually, Lord Ares came to cut some of my hair." She said after he said out his piece.

To prove her point, Annabeth removed her scrunchie and let the golden curls tumble gently on her back. Percy gaped for a moment but managed to close his mouth when she turned to look at him.

She pointed out to the uneven chop on the right side and sighed. "Thankfully this could be hidden when I tie my hair."

"But why would that idiot cut your hair?"

Annabeth sent him a sharp look. "Percy, Lord Ares might hear you; keep the insults to a minimum. And to answer your question: I have no idea."

The sound of the horns echoed through the forest signalled that it was dinner time. Percy decided to end the discussion and helped Annabeth to stand. She smiled and proceeded to tie her hair back to the usual ponytail but was stopped when Percy grabbed her hand.

"Don't. I like it better when it's down."

And he led her back to the dining pavilion, never letting go of her hand or looked back at her in favor of hiding his red face. Too bad he missed her blush.


"Milady?" Ares knocked gently on Aphrodite's door. Who knew the God of War could be so gentle?

"Darling!" The Goddess jumped unto Ares' arms as soon as she opened the door. "I take it that my request came out well?"

Ares said nothing but handed her a small vial containing strands of curly blond hair. Aphrodite squealed and kissed him and proceeded to tell him her theory after seeing his questioning look.After the beautiful Goddess finished telling her lover about her ingenious plan, Ares, as usual, looked bored and uninterested since it did not involve bloodbath and fighting.

"Can't the prick man up and have some balls for once?" He asked.

"Oh shush, dear. He's probably too shy to confess. Besides, this makes things all the more fun, doesn't it?"

"As long as you're happy doing this. But still, I think the prick really needs to have some guts -or balls- or whatever mortals call it."

"Aww, you're so sweet!"

And the two deities did some very naughty things that needed not to be discussed further.


Hours after the make-out session, Aphrodite finally managed to compose herself to proceed to the next step of her plan.

She glided through the hallways looking as graceful as ever and had reached her temple. But before she closed the door, she glanced at her surroundings for any possible threats and finally succumbed herself inside.

Aphrodite smiled as she saw the beautiful gigantic statue of herself, courtesy of Annabeth, that led to her altar made of pink marble decorated by miniature dove figurines.

She placed a pink scarf on the table (she didn't use laurel since she thought it was weird) along with the vial containing Annabeth's hair and an orange cloth filled with blood that belonged to Percy.

She got the cloth when Ares returned to Olympus after his battle with Percy a few years ago. Aphrodite didn't know why but she kept the cloth that stuck on the tip of the god's weapon and placed it in a small vial. She was thankful of her decision awhile back since she wouldn't have to worry about getting Percy's DNA and at the same time risk any more suspicion.

She also placed a brown teddy bear on her altar that would serve as the 'body' of the artificial child. She knew that she couldn't make an actual life since it wasn't in her power so she simply compromised and substituted (big words she learned from Athena).

Aphrodite was nervous that all this might backfire but in the end her determination won. She closed her eyes and repeated the enchantment that she learned from Hera (and a bit of magic from Hecate's teachings).

Her altar table glowed brightly as the hair and cloth emerged within the teddy bear. Soon, a sleeping human child lay in front of the worn-out goddess. All the creation had sucked out Aphrodite's powers but she managed to at least bless the child with good looks before slumping down on the cold pink floor.

"Phew, I am never ever going to do this again." The goddess mumbled as she panted for breath. After a moment of collecting herself, Aphrodite stood to check out her creation for the first time.

An adorable sleeping infant wrapped in pink silk presented itself to the goddess. Aphrodite managed to contain an excited scream as her eyes darted to look at the infant in a scrutinizing manner.

A turf of dark curly black hair spread haphazardly towards different directions, tanned skin but a bit paler and eyes that when opened revealed a combination of gray and green- for short, the child was absolutely gorgeous. And apparently, it was a He.

Things are definitely going to be good this time.


Part 2: Chiron gets to be a Grandpa

It was midnight at the Big House when a knock on the door was heard. Chiron was the only one inside since he had some files to be arranged and honestly the knock surprised him. He was as sure as Zeus that all the campers were asleep –it was obviously midnight and no camper would dare to willingly let the harpies eat him/her. So it was quite a surprise to hear a loud knock.

Chiron silently wheeled his way (he was in his human form since his lower half had taken a rest) towards the door with a bow and arrow on hand. He raised his guards and carefully opened the oak doors to find-

Nothing.

The centaur was baffled and blinked a few times before lowering his weapon and shrugged. He was about to head back when he saw it: a white basket carved with roses and doves and a blue blanket with a letter clipped on it.

Chiron was surprised to see an infant sleeping peacefully on the said basket. He took the basket inside and settled it along with the infant on the table and proceeded to read the letter.

Dear Chiron,

I've decided to make you my partner-in-crime for my so-called Baby Theory. No dear, you couldn't and must not refuse a Goddess or you'll soon face consequences.

Anyways, I want you to make Percabeth (Percy and Annabeth's couple name- squeal!-) spend time together as much as possible until they confess and start dating. The baby will be the bridge of their soon-to-be relationship and you must force them to look after him (I mean the infant).

Oh, in case you're wondering, the lovely child isn't real; I've conjured him from a teddy bear and their DNAs and he'll disperse as soon as the task is done.

I will be watching the progress of their relationship here in Olympus. If you don't do your job properly, I'll turn you into a full-pledged horse, okay dear?

With Love,

Aphrodite

PS: The basket's magical. Just ask anything that you need for the infant and it'll just appear. Don't forget to tell them that. And oh, he doesn't have a name yet. XOXO

Chiron sighed exasperatedly after reading the scented the letter written in beautiful cursive handwriting. The Goddess of Love really loves meddling with people's affairs. He guessed that she was fed up with the slow progress of his favorite students (he admits he secretly ships these two) and had taken the matter in her own hands.

"Yep, you've guessed right."

Chiron almost screamed in an unmanly manner. Almost.

Standing beside him is the ever-beautiful Goddess of Love and Beauty dressed in pink Grecian robes. Aphrodite flashed him her set of perfectly pearly white teeth and carefully approached the infant.

"Uh, milady, I do not wish to sound so rude but what are you doing here?" Chiron asked.

"I wanted to check things again before my theory could start. I'll upgrade the infant into a year old." The baby glowed and sure enough, he grew big; about the size of an actual one year old toddler.

"What will I tell them, Milady?"

Aphrodite waved a dismissive hand. "That's for you to figure out since I'm done with my work already. I know you could come up with something, dear. Ooh! I can't wait!"

"But-"

"You're going to ask how the infant would know his parents, right? Don't worry; I know the boy is intelligent enough. You forgot who his mother and grandmother are."

Chiron was about to say something when Aphrodite interrupted him again. "Adieu!" And with a snap of her fingers, the goddess was gone.

The centaur sighed and muttered, "Gods."

He turned to the direction of the infant who was now wide awake by the way. Intelligent gray-green eyes stared at the older man and said, "Gwampa."

Chiron knew normal babies would only be able to say Mama or Dada; this child clearly inherited Annabeth's intelligence since he was able to say such a difficult word with ease.

"You're going to cause a lot of trouble, young one." He said as he lifted the infant and kissed him on the forehead like an affectionate grandfather would


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