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COSMIC SOUP

POSTED BY: VANGUARD69

I really don't know why I'm doing this. I've never been one for diaries or personal logs. I think this is more so I can keep things straight in my head. Ordinarily, I would draw, paint or play my guitar to clear my head. But recently I've had dry spell for creativity, I guess you can call it artist block. Someone told me putting your thoughts into words helps a lot. So here I am….. Now where to begin.

A good place to start, I guess, is to tell you what I am and what I am not. In truth, I have no clue what I am. Sounds strange, I know. I mean I asked my dad one day if he knew what I was. He simply said, 'You're my son. What else would you be?'

Hey, he meant well. One thing my dad was always good at, was dancing around the subject. I never asked him again, seeing that he seems pretty comfortable with what I am. Now, before I continue, I have to get my terminology correct so I can clarify a few details. The word 'mutant' for instance. I did not know what a mutant was until I arrived in New York. It was weird, people started pointing up, either looking scared or angry yelling out, 'Look, it's a mutant!' So I look up, and all I see is a guy with pair of white wings on his back flying over us. I thought he looked cool. But everyone else were freaking out. They shouted and called him a mutant. I was thinking, 'Damn you're mean people. You don't even know the guy, and you're calling him names.'

It wasn't until later when I figured out what they meant. You see, where I'm from, people born with extra abilities or powers, are classified as 'inborn'. It's a scientific term for a further evolved living being. The word even made it into the dictionary in the mid 21st century. That's right, I said mid 21st century. I'll be blunt and say I am from an early 22nd century world. I know what you're thinking, a load of bull, right? Just read on and keep an open mind, you might actually find what I have to say entertaining. Alright, back to mutants and inborns, to me their one in the same. Accept, where I'm from the word 'mutant' is used mostly in movies titles. So for continuity sake, I'm going to refer to all mutants as inborns for the rest of this blog. I've been mistaken for an inborn on plenty of occasions. Not that it's a bad thing, in fact, for a while, I thought I was too. But it turned out I am something a bit more dramatic and complicated if not annoying. I don't think there is a scientific term for what I am, and I'm just one of many. I guess the simplest way I can put it is that I'm cosmic. It sounds cheesy, I know, and it almost sounds like I'm full of myself by saying, 'Hey, I'm cosmic.' But that's all I got. This means my powers and abilities come from another source, other than evolution. It's not artificial by any means, I was born with certain attributes, which is why I thought I was an inborn. It wasn't until my early twenties when my full power really manifested. Boy did that day suck, badly. I bet all of you would love to hear the embarrassing details, but it was bad enough to live through it once. Let's just say, my life has been interesting ever since. Being a cosmic has it's perks, super strength, interstellar flight, invulnerability, energy and matter manipulation, etc. I save money on the utility bills. Thanks to my self sustaining physiology, I don't have to eat or at least worry about eating healthy. You'd be amazed how carried away I get with my stupid grocery list. I can go on and on about how great these powers can be at times. But it's not all fun and games. These powers came with a title, and that also was presented to me the day of my manifestation. What a smack in the face that day was. I mean, what do you say when a bunch of higher beings tell you that are the soul protector of all existence? Well, here's how I was told, and I quote, 'You are the Vanguard of the First Beings of Existence. You are our eyes and ears. You are empowered to one task alone, the security and balance to all existence. You represent the collective interests of the First. And when necessary, you shall be our wrath.'

What do you think? Try putting that on a resume. It's been a roller coaster, with its twists and turns, and its loops and dives. I've seen and did a lot in the short time I've been the Vanguard, a lot of proud moments, plenty of shameful ones too. Don't get me wrong, this is like a childhood dream, you know, flying through space, visiting other worlds, fighting cosmic threats, wearing a cool outfit, being a super hero. But those were dreams, now they're reality, and reality sucks. In truth, there is nothing super about what I am, and what I do is far from heroic. Most of the time, I'm out there fighting for my life, and if I happen to save the universe in the process, great! I'm not perfect, and these great powers of mine can't solve everything. I can't tell you how many dates I've stood up because I was out trying to save existence as we know it. It was so bad I ran out of lies to hide that fact. After a while I started telling them the truth, and ended up having cold alcoholic drinks thrown in my face. Needless to say my social life was a complete mess in the beginning. Not to mention I had to quit working fulltime because of my duties as the Vanguard. So while existence exists safe and sound, my finances get sucked into a black hole. Like I said, it's been a roller coaster, and the ride never stops.

Ok, so I know that doesn't quite describe what I am. Like I said, I really don't know what I am. And whether you believe me or not is clearly up to you. The fact you read this far tells me I at least got your attention, or you're being entertained. So I guess I can move on. Let's get down to why I'm here, on this world. Well first and foremost, I'm here to save it. And right now, I think I'm doing a pretty crappy job doing it. I wish I could say I was one of those guys that plan ahead for a perfect future, but I'm not. I do like to organize to stay ahead of the game. Lately, however, my game has been off. It seems no matter how hard I try, things take a turn for the worse. So I roll with the punches, bite my tongue and pick up the pieces. In my profession, you have to expect all kinds of unexpected changes. Profession meaning, save the universe stuff. Something unexpected did happen to me while I've been on this world. I've been to this world a couple times before, but this is the longest I've stayed. The reason why I stayed so long is because of this new unexpected change, I met a girl. Actually, I've met two, but the first one was way out of my league. This other one, who is now my girlfriend, caught my eye with no trouble. I don't know why either, I just couldn't take my eyes off her. I even drew a picture of her eating her sandwich the first day I saw her. Weird, I know, but when inspiration strikes, you have to roll with it. And seeing her was like getting struck by lightning. If any of you don't know what it's like to get struck by lightning, imagine waking up in the morning, rolling out of your warm cozy bed, and diving into a pool of ice water. You'll agree with me, it's shocking. And I've been struck by lightning several times. Go figure, I mean, I can fly and sometimes the weather can suck. I'll tell you what's shocking, getting struck by lightning on the planet Jupiter. Let's just say, big ass storms equal big ass bolts of lightning. And it never stops storming on Jupiter, trust me. Anyways, back to what I was saying, seeing this girl was like that. Not as painful, but just as shocking. I was stunned needless to say. I'm a pretty shy guy when comes down to it. I don't come off that way, but deep down I'm a wreck. I had no clue how to approach her without sounding like an idiot. I was lucky to run into her in town crossing the street sometime later. We've been together for almost a year now, and I still get a bit nervous around her. I keep telling myself I've got to be the luckiest guy in existence to hook up with a girl like her. It turned out she is an inborn and in the same profession of saving the world. It was kind of a lucky break having something that intense in common. We haven't exactly been on an official date yet. We do a lot of hanging out, especially when we gear up to save the world. I know reading this sounds a bit weird to most of you, and you all don't have to believe me. But imagine if we didn't go out to save the world, you wouldn't be reading this blog just now. Trust me, you'll just have to take my word for it.

Back to my girlfriend, she is terrific, in every means possible. I mean, a great personality that matches a pretty face. She has this mysterious sex appeal about her that is reflected in her body. I don't want to divulge too much info about her, trying to keep things generalized. Besides, she may be reading this too, and being indestructible does not protect you from an earful of bitching. But I do have to get this off my chest, because it's so incredible. She does this extremely hot cowgirl routine when we're 'alone'. And all I have to say about that is, YEEEHAAW! I'm happy. Oh yeah, we're great together, but HOT when we're alone. I'm such a guy…

I'm trying to do everything I can to make this work and last. It's very convenient for her seeing her powers are kind of a danger to everyone except me. Is it me, or is there something very sexy about that? I got to get my mind out of the gutter. I 'm crazy about this girl, as you can see. There is nothing I wouldn't for her. Which brings me to my most recent dilemma. Events have unfolded that has been blown way beyond my control, events that deal primarily with my duties as the Vanguard. I'm not sure how to put into words about this situation. But may be I can describe the feelings I'm having. Think for a moment, about a major test that could make or break your passing grade for the year. This particular test could determine whether you graduate or not. You prep and study your ass off. You cover every angle you can on this subject. But when it becomes test time, you find out you studied for the wrong test. It all hits you at once, the feeling of despair, fear, failure, and stupidity. What do you do, right? I mean, you're pretty much screwed. You have no choice but to bite the bullet, and let fate guide your hand.

Just an example, but that's the kind predicament I'm in. Ordinarily, I would have no problem dealing with this if it was just me dealing with it alone. But now I've dragged a lot of good people into this, one of them being my girlfriend. Maybe I was trying too hard to avoid it.

I have been known to be a bit over protective about my friends and family. I lost most of my friends back home in an earthquake that pretty much destroyed the west coast of the United States. It happened when I was in high school just before lunch period. I remember it like it was yesterday, clear skies and good surf on the horizon. My dad helped me buy my first used car the day before, so I was feeling like a million creds. My buddies were jazzed about cruising in my ride up the beach strip to check out all the chicks in bikinis. We all this knack for sleeping in class, but we all made the grades. Not a care in the world, that was us. I never would have imagined I'd have to watch them die, some right before my eyes. Those two hours of chaos felt like an eternity of hell. I don't think any of us had any time to be scared. Kids all around me were calling their parents on their comsat links while we ran for our lives. I can still see the walls caving in all around us, fissures opening up under our feet, lights going out, then the sounds of people dying. It was like a nightmare where you're running, but not getting anywhere. I swallowed so much dust and smoke, I could've started smoking and not known the difference. My best friend Jordan caught up with me somewhere near the band room of our high school. We decided to stick together, watch each other's backs while we escaped from the crumbling scene. We did our best to help others in need, we even pulled a couple of teachers out harms way. We were like a dynamic duo, the way we always were since we elementary school. And just like Jordan, he managed to crack a joke about how school was out for the rest of the day. Despite all the destruction around us, we shared a laugh that reminded me of why he and I became friends in the first place. And it's that laugh I'll always remember, because it was the last thing I heard from him just before the ground gave out from under us. I dove out onto to my stomach reaching out to grab his hand. It was surreal, and I still have a hard time believing what happened. But to this day, two words echo in my mind, 'two inches'. That was how far my hand was from his when Jordan fell into the fissure. Everything sort of became numb after that. I remember being dragged away by a couple of fire and rescue people. I remember being told we had to evacuate the city and move as far as we can inland to avoid the mega tsunami that was heading towards the coast line. I can still see that wall of water out over the horizon while I was being transported by helicopter. It was so beautiful and terrifying at the same time. I was so numb I couldn't speak. I lost my childhood friend and classmates all in one day. And if the earthquake didn't kill them, the crushing tsunami did. I don't know how many days went by, maybe a week or two. But I found myself with thousands more at some refugee camp at the foot hills of the Rocky mountains. State and government did what they could to provide for us, and of course, it was barely enough. I gave most of my rations to the younger kids, at the time I just couldn't stomach anything. Little did I realize my body was slowly adapting for its' future. Relief finally came in the form of military helicopter transports. They brought more food, medical supplies, and my father, who finally tracked me down. It was like the numbness faded and everything finally settled in. Seeing my dad in his US Marine uniform running towards me brought me to tears. I never saw my dad cry until that moment when he hugged me. Everything flashed in my mind, the carnage I saw, my best friend dead. Jordan, the only guy I knew who had the guts to ask Stephanie Moore, the hottest girl at our school, out on a date earlier that year. And he asked her on the first day of school. They were so tight since then. I found Stephanie a year later. She and her remaining family moved to New Crescent City after the "Revelation", as has historians now call it. Stephanie's back was crushed by debris during the earthquakes rendering her a paraplegic. She had clung onto hope that most of her friends survived, especially Jordan. I remember her broken expression when I told her otherwise. Over the next few years, I'd find other surviving classmates, some worse off then others. We'd catch up and cry. And I did my share of therapy as well. I drowned out most of my emotional scarring through college and work. It wasn't until I became the Vanguard when the real guilt trip hit me. All that untapped power could have saved all of them had I known what I was. Dad keeps telling me I shouldn't beat myself up for not knowing. He's probably right, but I just can't help it. Even as the Vanguard, I still can't escape the prospect of disasters. I've witnessed entire civilizations perish, star systems collapsing, and planets crushed into dust. You'd think all that would turn me into a morbid person. But that's why I've become a bit over protective of the people I call my friends. I hold every friendship dear to my heart. And I fear I put all the friendships I made here in considerable danger. I guess that doesn't make me much of a friend. But I did make a promise to myself, that I wouldn't let anyone else die over this matter. And that is a promise I do intend to keep.

I also made promises to my girl friend, and it looks like the promises I made are going to conflict. I love this girl with every fiber of my being. There are no words to describe how I feel about her. Like I said, there is nothing I wouldn't do for her. If she wanted me to pull down the sun, I would do it, and I can. I look into her eyes, and I forget all my troubles. Problem is, trouble never forgets me. A close friend of mine stepped into my world, meaning she has manifested into a being like myself. All because I neglected my duties as the Vanguard. That level of selfishness has only brought suffering to the people who have accepted me into their surrogate family. I'm starting to feel like the way I did when my high school was crumbling around me. I don't want to lose anymore friends.

COMMENTS:

Well I'll admit, you got my attention. I have no clue what you are talking about. To me it just sounds like a script for a great sci-fi movie. But if it suppose to mean something else, then allow me to say, I don't think you're selfish at all. You sound like a good person that tries their best. What else can you hope for. I also think you shouldn't indulge in you imagination so much.

POSTED BY: bb101

If your girl friend can't handle a little excitement, I'm more than willing to take her spot on the ride! HEHEH! They way you worry about her sounds like she is too high maintenance for a guy like you. Besides I never made out with a mutant before.

POSTED BY: crzygrrrll4u

I never read so much bullcrap in my life! The fact that you say you're from the 22nd century is load of crap! Time travel is absolutely impossible. The concept is a stupid idea. Even if you could do it, why would you travel to this time anyway? Wouldn't we be primitive to you? I think someone has been watching way too many movies. I bet you really don't have a girlfriend and this is some sick way to meet someone. Your whole story sounds too good to be true. You're probably a mutant wannabe. Sorry to rain on your parade, VAN. But let's face it, guys like you don't really exists.

POSTED BY: NUFFSAID

I lived in Bayville for three years and I seen some pretty weird stuff since I moved here. I have no opinions on mutants or whatever they are. All I know is people have fantasized about flying without wings since the dawn of time. Now that we've seen people who can, we ridicule them? What does that say about regular people? To me, it seems 'normal' people are just deep down jealous of the mutant community. VAN, if you are what you say you are, then don't stop being who you are. Because if you are who I think you are, this city owes you more than you think. Oh and I hope your jeep is ok. I was nearby when that Juggernaut criminal threw it at your head.

POSTED BY: TERRYM

BOOHOOHOO, WAHWAHWAH! All muties should burn in hell! All mutie lovers should burn in hell! The world got along fine without mutants back in the day, we get along without them now. VANGUARD69, you're nothing but another sad mutie freak trying to get sympathy from other wimps. Maybe you should go and live over at that Xavier school with the other side show freaks!

POSTED BY: DUNCou812

I wish you could tell us what your problem is. May be one of us can help with a solution. Well accept for DUNCou812 may be. Anyways, I suppose you're using those elaborate stories to generalize the real problems your having in your life. What ever the problems are, there is always a way out. If you're as dedicated friend as you seem to be, I don't see why you can't solve your problem. Again, it would help if we knew what your problem is. Besides that, your blog was entertaining.

POSTED BY: ABC1230077

I know who you are! I didn't know you liked to blog! You and your 'girlfriend' saved my butt from the Juggernaut a few months back. In fact, your girl carried me to safety while you held him off. Sound familiar? Oh yeah, sorry about seeing you two on the grass that time, almost caught that cowgirl routine you said she does. Haha just kidding! I was just doing my job. I just got over the injuries I sustained and I'm back on duty. Too bad my duties won't bring around towards you guys. I'd love to study some of your combat techniques I saw you perform. That's not a 'come on', don't take that the wrong way! Well, I just I'd say hi and thank you for saving my life. Thank your girlfriend too, I hope she is feeling better.

POSTED BY: WARBIRD

You sound like an interesting fellow. I can help you understand what you are if you like. All I'd need is a small sample of tissue. Please, do not be disturbed by that. I've grown a great interest in the mutant community. And if you say are not a mutant, then I must say you have to be the most intriguing creature on this planet. Perhaps I could discover where your gifts originate from? That would help you understand the true nature of your full potential. I have worked closely with the greatest geneticists in the world. If you are interested in knowing your true self, let me know. I would be an honor just to meet you in person.

POSTED BY: N1ESSEX

VAN, you sound like a classic hero case to me. History and stories alike all describe heroes born out desperate situations if not tragic ones. It's good that your voicing yourself, trying to understand everything that is happening in your life. But in order for you to do what is right, you have to clear your head of your past. And the one thing this world needs is heroes. Like it nor not, you are one. All heroes have to suffer before they become great.

POSTED BY: yodafan

I'm all for fun, baby! I think you're hot! I'd love to see how cosmic you really are. And if your girlfriend wants to join in, I don't mind! The door swings both ways for me! Oh wow, if she is mutant too, that is going to be so, so hot! How intense is her 'cowgirl routine'? Do I need spurs and chaps? Talk to me baby, let's set something up!

Kisskiss!

POSTED BY: crzygrrrll4u

WHOA! I think crzygrrrll4u is looking for love in all the wrong places! Wrong blog site girl for that kind of talk! Ease down, geez! VAN, don't mind her, she's just horny. Anyways, thanks for saving the world. I'm sure you don't get many people thanking you for that. Yes, I know you are a real person. I work late nights and I've seen you around. Cool uniform by the way.

POSTED BY: TIMDABOUNSA

You don't wear a blue tight suit with a red cape do you? You know how dumb you would look? You must have a really cool dad, because my parents really hate the fact that I'm gay and a mutant. More so about me being gay I'm affraid. I think they're getting over the fact that I move faster than most jets. Which is cool, accept they just found out I was dating two guys at the same time. I guess you're right, powers can't solve everything.

POSTED BY: northstarrxxx

I can't believe you're blogging! I can't believe you blogged about my routine! I'm going to kill you! No one is suppose to know about that! See if I ever do that for you again, tough guy! You better end this blog or I'm going to put my foot so far up your cosmic butt you'll know what the real meaning of a black hole is. And is that WARBIRD person that blondie Carol? Is she hitting on you? I swear if I ever see her and her gimpy broken leg again I'll drain her dry! That crzygrrrll4u better back off, too! As for you, 'VAN', you're going to be eating some cold shoulder tonight!

POSTED BY: ROGUE

REPLY POST BY: VANGUARD69

Busted…

Later guys, thanks for the interesting comments.


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