I feel miserable as I wake up. Melissa acted like such a bitch last night. And to make matters worse something seemed to be bothering Mulder. As I open my eyes I see a beautiful little face with two big, green eyes studying me. This instantly puts a smile on my face.
"Nicholas," I giggle. "What are you going?"
He just shrugs and laughs as he jumps into bed with me, putting his little arm around my middle and his face in the crook of my neck.
"Did you have a good night with my parents?" I ask him, rubbing his back soothingly.
"Yes," he says sweetly. "Mrs. Scully made cookies."
"Triple chocolate?" I wonder.
"Mhm," he says, nodding his head.
"Did you eat all of them?" I ask, suddenly craving my mom's cookies - it must be over a year since I've had them last.
"No," he chuckles. "She made many!"
"Good," I say, and lick my lips.
I reach out for my wristwatch and check the time. 8.39 AM. Not too bad. And I don't even feel hung over.
"Where are mommy and Uncle Fox?" Nicholas wonders after a few minutes of silence.
"Back at the apartment," I tell him. "Do you miss them?"
"A little," he shrugs. "Why aren't you sleeping with Uncle Fox?"
"Because this is my bed and your uncle's bed is in his home," I explain, trying not to laugh at his innocent question.
"Oh," he seems to accept my explanation. "Was it a fun party?"
"Sure," I say - at least some of the night had been fun. "You wanna go get some cookies?"
He sits up in bed and looks at me with shock.
"Cookies for breakfast?" he says, eyes wide.
"Right," I chuckle. "Maybe not. Let's get some breakfast and then cookies."
"Okay," he nods his head and runs into the kitchen.
I stand up and pull on some sweatpants. I'm not wearing a bra under my tank top but I can't be bothered with it at the moment, suddenly feeling very hungry.
My mom and dad are having coffee in the kitchen, reading the paper together.
"Morning, sweetie," mom greets me. "I wondered where Nicholas had run off to."
"Dana said we could have cookies after breakfast," Nicholas exclaims happily sitting down by the table.
"Is that so?" dad smiles at me as I sit down next to Nicholas and ruffle his hair.
"Mhm," Nicholas confirms nodding his head.
"Then you better start eating, sport," he winks at him.
I pour Nicholas and myself a bowl of cereal. Just as we start eating there's a knock on the door. Mom gets up to answer it and a few seconds later Samantha and Mulder are entering the kitchen. Samantha immediately goes to hug her son who returns her love gladly.
Mulder is wearing a sleepless white t-shirt, his blue shorts for running and his worn down sneakers. I can't help but admire his biceps and triceps, which move as he sits down to grab a bowl of cereal for himself at mom's request.
I realize he's staring at my breasts intently as he eats his breakfast. I shoot a quick glance upwards and realize my dad's frowning. I quickly fold my arms in front of me, making Mulder look up from what held his attention. He realizes the situation and his ears flush red.
"I hope it wasn't too much trouble looking after the little rascal," Mulder says, after clearing his throat.
"Oh no," mom says quickly. "Bring him by anytime you want - we had such a good time."
"I behaved myself just like you said, Uncle Fox," Nicholas says proudly.
"That's good," Mulder smiles lovingly at him.
"And I played with Charlie," he informs me.
"Yeah?" I say, genuinely surprised my younger brother wanted to spend time with a 4-year-old.
"He said you use to sit on him and fart when he was little," Nicholas chuckles.
Everyone at the table let out laughter while I blush a deep shade of red, hiding my face in my hands.
"Sounds just like Fox," Samantha shakes her head while laughing. "He use to be really mean to me when we were younger."
"Uncle Fox?" Nicholas seems thoroughly surprised.
"Yes," Sam chuckles. "One time he put several live frogs in my bed and when I lifted the covers to go to sleep they jumped up from the bed scaring me to death! I've been afraid of the frogs ever since!"
"That's horrible," I say laughing, giving Mulder a big smile.
He just shrugs and smiles back at me.
"It wasn't very nice," he conquers. "I think I got my punishment though when I had to go pull down the covers for Sam every night for months after that."
"Serves you right," I smirk at him.
He smiles at me and I feel his leg brush against mine. Oh God, just his leg touching mine and I'm practically soaking through my sweatpants.
We continue leading a light and humorous conversation at the breakfast table and I can feel all my doubts and worries seep away by every minute I spend with the people I love.
When the clock nears ten and we've finished the last of the cookies, Charlie joins us in the kitchen. He's only wearing pajama bottoms and his hair is a giant mess. He plops himself down on a chair and lets out a big sigh.
"Morning," dad shakes his head at the teenager. "You're up earlier than usual."
"I'd rolled off the mattress," he says dejectedly.
"Why did you sleep on a mattress?" I wonder as I pour Mulder a fresh cup of coffee.
"Well, I couldn't let Nicholas sleep on the floor," he says as he fills his plate with some of the food on the table - bacon, eggs, toast, a banana, an apple, and a few biscuits.
"Aw, that's sweet," I say.
"Hm," he just shrugs and blushes slightly as he realizes he's been caught caring about someone.
"Did Dana really use to fart on you?" Mulder asks him, grinning all over his stupid face.
I kick him in the shin and he winces visibly.
"Oh yeah," Charlie chuckles as he chews on a piece of bacon. "It's okay though, I once drew a moustache on her face and tampered with her alarm clock so she didn't have time to take a look in the mirror before going to school."
"Charlie!" I complain, beyond embarrassed.
"Nice," Mulder grins and tells Charlie about some of the horrible things he did to his little sister.
I love to see Mulder bond with my brother and I love that Charlie seems to like Mulder. Charlie is the only one I've told about our relationship and that he likes Mulder, in spite of this, is kind of big. Neither of my brothers ever cared for any of the guys I went out with before. I dated a guy named Jeremy Cooper for a few months during junior year of high school and Marcus Lloyd nearly all of senior year - both of them were deemed unworthy of me despite both being great guys. It seemed Charlie thought Mulder was different - he was right.
"I'm going to go take a shower," I announce, giving Nicholas a little kiss on the forehead before I get up.
"Sure, honey," mom says; now cleaning up from breakfast with Sam and dad helping her.
Mulder is biting his lip as if saying I'm torturing him by letting him know I'll be naked close by and there's nothing he can do about it. I enjoy this realization a little too much and wink at him and squeeze his shoulder as I walk past him and out of the kitchen.
It feels amazing with a shower - I realize I haven't washed up after the stuff I did with Mulder in a bathroom stall at the bar last night. The thought of these activities sends color to my cheeks and a swarm of butterflies to my stomach. I know I would have never done something like that without a little alcohol in my system but I also know it really turned me on.
I finish up in the shower and dry myself off before putting on the black lace lingerie, light blue jean shorts, and a few sizes too large band t-shirt. It says KISS in big blue letters on the light grey t-shirt above pictures of the four guys from the band. The already short sleeves are rolled up a few times. I'm admittedly not a KISS fan but I like the t-shirt and have worn it ever since Charlie grew out of it a few years ago.
Mulder, Sam and Nicholas are just about to leave when I get back to the kitchen. I realize I won't get to spend the day with Mulder as I'd hoped and I'm trying to figure out a way to change that.
"Can Dana come with us?" Nicholas asks his uncle - if I didn't love Nicholas already, I do now.
"If she wants to," Mulder grins, seemingly thinking what I am.
"Sure," I say, looking over to my mom and dad for confirmation - they both smile at me, taken with little Nicholas and his affection for me.
"What are we going to do today?" Nicholas asks us, holding my hand as we walk back to Mulder's apartment.
"Only fun stuff," Mulder says happily. "We're gonna put on some music and draw drawings and have pizza and soda for dinner."
"Yay," Nicholas jumps up and down as we walk on, making us all laugh.
As Mulder puts the music on and Sam and Nicholas sit down by the coffee table to draw, Mulder pulls me to the kitchen where they can't hear us.
"I really missed you last night," he whispers as he pulls me close to him.
"I missed you too," I sigh, putting my hands around his neck. "Are we okay?"
"We're more than okay," he smiles, leaning down to kiss me.
He holds me close to him as our lips move together. We only kiss for a small moment before he pulls away from me. I open my eyes and look up at him. He's smiling down at me with so much affection it makes my stomach do a little flip.
Nicholas' favorite song comes on and he's pulling on my t-shirt for me to dance around with him as we normally do when we're alone. I grin down at him and follow him back to the other part of the room where he jumps around, showing off his very own and very unique dance style. I just laugh with him and cheer him on - not up to putting on a show for Samantha.
I feel Mulder grab my hand. I look over at him, standing a few feet away. He's looking down at the ground as he pulls me towards him, meaning for me to dance with him. I can't help smiling like a fool as he takes my hand and places the other one around my waist, moving us around the living room floor.
The four of us have a great time. Around noon there's a knock at the door. Sam moves to answer it as Mulder's busy giving Nicholas a piggyback ride.
It turns out it is Harry Lewis at the door. Sam sends him away because she's spending the day with her family - but it's clear she's not too happy about rejecting him.
"Mulder and I can look after Nicholas for a few hours," I offer.
"Really?" she says excitedly before clearing her throat and looking down. "I mean, no, that's fine. I really should spend the day with Nicholas."
"Sam," Mulder chuckles. "You've already spend time with him and you will again later. Go after him, have a little fun… well, not too much fun."
"Mulder!" I scold him, slapping his shoulder.
Nicholas, who's still on Mulder's back looks a bit confused but says nothing.
"Is it okay if I go out for lunch, Nicholas? Will you be okay here with Fox and Dana?" she asks her son sweetly, picking him down from Mulder's back and pulling him into her own arms.
"That's okay," Nicholas smiles and gives his mom a kiss on the cheek. "Can we go swimming?"
"Sure," Sam chuckles. "If Fox and Dana want to go with you - you have some swim shorts in your bag."
"Yaaay," he exclaims, climbing down from his mother's arms to run triumphantly around the living room with his arms in the air.
"I guess I won't be missed," Sam smiles greatly at the sight of her happy son.
She takes off after Lewis and the three of us have a great afternoon together. We spend most of it at the pool, splashing around and having great laughs. Mulder is wearing a red speedo that doesn't leave much to the imagination and I'm wearing a black bikini set that has him drooling. Since it's Sunday and most of the young men at the base are taking it easy, we practically have the pool to ourselves.
Not long after we return to the apartment Sam comes back from her official first date with Lewis. She has the biggest smile on her face; it's obvious it went great. Even though Mulder has promised pizza for dinner, Sam decides she'll be leaving with Nicholas and have dinner at home - Mulder makes her promise it'll be pizza though, much to the Nicholas' joy. She sends me a little smirk as they leave and I know she's doing it to give Mulder and me a little time to ourselves. As much as I love having Nicholas around I must admit I like to have Mulder to myself as well.
Within a few minutes of them leaving we're already making love on his bed. As heated and crazy as things were last night in the bathroom stall of a bar, as gentle and loving is it now in Mulder's queen size bed. We make love for the longest time, completely absorbed with each other. We're moving slowly together, our eyes locked as if in a trance. I've often wondered how it must feel like to do drugs - not that I'd ever try any harder drugs than marijuana - but I can't imagine a bigger high than this. Nothing could possibly feel as good or send me into as much ecstasy.
We're both hungry after our long lovemaking session and we go to make some late dinner in our half-dressed states. We fool around and laugh over nothing as we boil some pasta and make a tomato sauce.
It's a bit after nine when I finally make it home. My mom is reading a book on the couch in the living room but stops this and puts it down on the table in front of her as I plop down next to her.
I tell her about my day - leaving out a few details - and she tells me about how it went looking after Nicholas.
"You know, honey, I'm really proud of you for doing so good with him," she says lovingly, giving my hand a little squeeze. "You'll make such a good mother one day."
I'd always been pissed when my mom or dad made plans for my future for me - naturally assuming I'll want the same family life as them. Part of it has probably been because I've never been able to imagine having a family of my own before. I've always thought I might want kids one day - but now I know I'll want kids one day.
"Thanks," I smile at her - she seems a bit surprised at my reaction but happy about it, nonetheless.
"You've grown into such a beautiful and competent woman, Dana," she sighs.
"Jeez, mom," I giggle. "Save it for the speech at my wedding, won't you?"
"So you're getting married?" she asks mocking hopefulness.
"Mom," I shake my head at her, she's incorrigible really. "Not in the immediate future."
"Are you seeing anyone?" she sounds serious now but still has a smile on her face.
At first I just shrug my shoulders and study my hands.
"Is that a yes?" she teases me.
"I guess you could say I'm seeing someone. But it's all pretty new so don't say you want to meet him or anything, okay?"
"Well…" she seems to think things over. "If you're seeing someone, I would like to meet him. But I guess we can make a compromise. How about if you're still seeing your mystery man for Christmas you'll invite him over?"
I think it over. Christmas is a long time away.
"Maybe," I say. "We're taking it slow, so I don't want to make plans for the future, I don't want to jinx it."
"Alright," she smiles at me. "I'll again for Thanksgiving then."
"You do that," I chuckle.
As the days pass I don't see much of Melissa. She's nearly always out and I'm looking after Nicholas most of the time - or spending a few hours with Mulder. Nicholas and I spend most of the day at my house now, not coming back to the apartment until Mulder does or it's time to start dinner. There's more space and more people around here, and there's a nice big garden where Nicholas and Charlie like to play soccer. I'm so happy my family likes Nicholas as much as I do. Only Bill and Melissa don't really know him. Bill; because he doesn't live here and only sees him shortly when he comes over. Melissa; because she's never home.
I've thought about confronting her about her behavior Saturday night but I've decided not to. I love my sister and she had been drunk. We're allowed to make mistakes and the fact that she hasn't said anything about it herself, makes me believe she doesn't even remember it.
It's Friday July 7 when I find out the reason I haven't been seeing my sister. Nicholas has just gone down for his nap when I ask my mom if she knows when Melissa will be home.
"Oh, hasn't she told you? She's spending the day with her new guy," mom is shaking her head - she's never really accepted Melissa's - very different from her own - view on love and dating.
"I didn't know she was seeing anyone," I say surprised.
I wonder if it's Peter Johansson because I know she spend the night with him Saturday. But knowing Melissa it could just as well be a new guy so I don't want to spill the beans about Johansson to my mom if that's the case. "Do we know him?"
"I don't think so," she says, cleaning down the surfaces in the kitchen. "Apparently he lives up in Fairfax with his family."
Fairfax? Where Oliver Montgomery lives with his family? Is Melissa going out with the guy I use to sleep with? I can't believe that. Surely it must be someone else. She wouldn't… would she?
"Do you know what his name is?" I ask, trying to sound nonchalant.
"Sorry, dear," mom says. "She hasn't told me his name."
I feel sick the rest of the day. Nicholas wonders why I'm not the same fun playmate as usual and I tell him I'm just not feeling very good today. He feels sorry for me and gives me lots of hugs and kisses. He really is adorable. Mom thinks he's a sweet kid too and decides she wants to make us all dinner tonight. Nicholas and I go to meet Mulder as he gets off work to tell him to come to the Scully household.
Mom's made a roast and we all dig in with pleasure. Thoughts of Melissa are still plaguing me but I try to push it to the back of my mind and enjoy the food and the company.
After dinner, with the whole family preoccupied with clearing the table, Mulder seizes the moment and pulls me aside. We walk down the hallway to where the stairs are - away from the doors to the kitchen, the dining room and the living room. We share a few quick kisses and finally rest our foreheads against each other's.
"So do you want to come over tonight?" he asks me.
"I can't tonight, Mulder," I sigh, pulling my head away from his to look at him- my hands still resting upon his chest. "I'm sorry, it's just… it's that time a month."
"Wha…" he looks lost for a few seconds before his ears flush red. "Oh! Oh… well, that's… that doesn't matter, you can still come over if you want to. It's always nice to have you over. No matter what we do."
"Thanks," I smile at him - he really is the sweetest. "But I want to talk to Melissa when she gets home. There's something I need to ask her."
"It can't wait?" he sounds so disappointed - making me love him even more.
"I don't want to run the risk of her falling asleep before I get home - it's kind of important," I say apologetic. "I'll come over tomorrow if you want me to. We can spend the whole day together."
Samantha has gotten the Saturday off for a change and she's taking Nicholas to the zoo so we won't be seeing them.
"That sounds good," he finally smiles again and leans down for another kiss.
This time we get more into it. He places his hands on my ass and gives it a squeeze. I'm standing on my tiptoes; my hands on his shoulders are grabbing the material of his shirt. The movements of his tongue in my mouth are enough to send me into a delirious state of mind.
Just as we've forgotten where we are someone turns the corner and comes face to face with us.
"Oh, fuck!" Charlie says shocked, covering his eyes like a child watching a scary movie.
"Charlie!" I say just as surprised as we step apart. "Sorry!"
"Never mind," he waves his hand at us and lets out a little laugh. "You're lucky it was just me."
"Right," I chuckle.
Mulder is looking awfully mortified and his ears are very near completely red from embarrassment. Damn, he's cute.
Mulder and Nicholas go back to the apartment so they'll be there when Samantha gets off work.
The feelings I've put to the backs of my mind come flooding back as soon as they leave. I sit down to watch some TV with the rest of the family, just waiting for my sister to come home. But she never does. It's nearly midnight when I admit defeat and turn the lights off in the bedroom where I've been trying to read a book.
It's exactly 10.13 when she comes through the door the following Saturday morning. I know this because I'm looking at my watch, for the hundredth time that day, when I hear her.
Mom and dad have taken Charlie with them grocery shopping, telling him he could get the snacks he wanted only if he got up early enough to go with them. This blackmailing works on the teenager.
I sit down with Melissa in the kitchen as she makes herself something to eat.
"So," I say, quite nervous, as she sits down with her breakfast by the table. "Mom says you're seeing someone?"
"Yeah," she smiles. "I've had so much sex this week, I have no idea how I'm even capable of walking."
"That's nice," I say - not quite meaning it. "So who are you seeing?"
"Don't get mad, okay?" she says.
I'm already mad. This can't be happening. What the hell is she thinking?
"Tell me you haven't, Melissa!" I say angrily, standing up.
She just shrugs her shoulders and bites into her piece of toast.
"Are you fucking Oliver?" I say, just above a whisper.
"Dana… you said you never had feelings for him…"
I can't believe her. I storm out of there and run straight to Mulder's. I don't even know I'm crying until he takes me into his arms and I see the wet stains on his t-shirt.
"Dana, what's wrong?" he says sounding worried as he rubs my back soothingly.
I'm so glad I have him. I've never felt so betrayed before. I've always looked up to Melissa and we've always been so close. But this summer things seem to have changed.
"It's Melissa," I weep after nearly a minute of silent crying into his shirt.
"Melissa?" he asks alarmed. "What's happened? Is she okay?"
"No, it's not…" I shake my head. "She's not hurt. She's hurt me."
"How? What's going on, Dana?" he sounds so confused and I can understand why.
"She's been seeing Oliver," I sniffle.
He's quiet for a little while but suddenly his arms disappear from my back and he pushes me away from him gently. I take a step back and instantly wipe my eyes with my hands before meeting his eyes. He looks so hurt and this bewilders me.
"Mulder…" I frown.
"You're this upset because she's seeing that guy? I thought you didn't have any feelings for him? That you were never in love with him?" he says, sounding angry.
He's never talked to me like this before and quite frankly it scares me a little bit, but not as much as it angers me.
"I wasn't!" I yell angrily at him.
"Are you sure?" he asks me hard, folding his arms in front of him.
"Yes, I'm sure. Fuck you, Mulder!" I turn away from him, walking towards the door to leave - I don't need this from him.
A hand on my shoulder stops me. He's going to apologize. Finally something's going my way today.
"If you don't like him, why do you care if Melissa's seeing him?"
I can't believe it. What's wrong with him? What's wrong with Melissa and Oliver? Why can't they see how wrong this is? To be honest, if Melissa and Oliver really cared for each other, and if they'd told me instead of waiting for me to find out about them, I probably wouldn't have minded this whole thing. It's the way it's happened that's bothering me. The way Melissa is behaving towards me most of all. And the way Mulder is behaving as well now.
"I care because, the guy I use to have sex with is now having sex with my sister!" I yell at him, as I whip around to face him. "That's wrong, Mulder. And it's disgusting. And I care because Melissa did this behind my back!"
"She just told you, didn't she?" he yells back at me. "She's a grown woman, she shouldn't have to ask for your permission!"
I slap him across his face. The smack is so loud and the sound is intensified with the silence that follows. We're both breathing heavily. He's in shock and I'm beyond angry.
"I can't believe you're taking her side, Mulder," I say - surprised at how disappointed I sound.
"I'm not," he says, astonishingly calm in his voice. "I just don't get why you care so much that Melissa has sex a few times with someone you don't care about."
"You didn't hear how she said it, Mulder. She was so cold, so uncaring, she-" my voice breaks, and I look down. "I just don't see why she has to be with him. She could have any guy she wants but she just happens to choose a guy she knows very well I have a past with."
"And I can't see why it matters," he states.
We're quiet for several long seconds. Just staring at each other. His cheek is red where my hand connected with his face. I shouldn't have done that. But he was out of line.
"You like him, don't you?" he finally says.
That's it. I can't believe him. He knows very well how I feel about him and he's accusing me of liking another guy. A guy I dumbed because I felt nothing for him apart from physical attraction. He's making no sense. I turn around without answering him and leave the apartment.