I've never hurt this bad before. I spend the rest of Saturday crying in my room. Melissa has already left when I come home but the rest of the family is there. I simply tell them I'm not feeling very good and that I went for a walk to get some fresh air but it didn't help.
It's nearly time for dinner Sunday when I finally come out of the room, only leaving it to go the bathroom a few times.
I love Mulder so much but he's hurt me deeply. I love Melissa too and I have no idea what's going on with her. I've said it over and over again a thousand times in my head: Melissa is sleeping with Oliver, but I can't grasp it. Melissa was one of the few people I told about my little fling. I told her how amazing it was to finally really enjoy sex. I'd been anxious to try something new after breaking it off with Marcus. Things had become too serious and I just realized that as much as I cared for Marcus I wasn't really in love with him. He'd become a friend I was sleeping with. In spite of this Marcus said he was in love with me. I doubt that he was but regardless it wasn't fair to him to keep the relationship going when I knew how I felt and when I saw no future for us.
It had been Melissa who'd suggested a casual relationship since I wasn't ready to start anything serious. The idea had seemed a bit strange to me. I'd always thought I'd find a guy and that it would be the love of my life and I'd end up marrying that guy. It hadn't worked out like that though. At first I'd decided not to date for a good while, not before I was ready for the commitment. Not too long after my curiosity got the better of me. I was curious about sex. I'd only ever been intimate with Marcus and as nice as it had been sometimes, I'd never experienced an orgasm or felt truly excited about it. I just felt like there had to be more to it than what I'd experienced.
A few weeks after I'd decided that a relationship with no complications and just sex would be perfect for me at the time Oliver Montgomery came along. I'd seen him around and I'd always thought he was good-looking. He had approached me as he'd caught me staring at him. We'd flirted and he'd asked me to come to a party with him later the same day. I'd agreed. He walked me home after the party and I invited him inside. And for the first time there was more to sex than having a guy crawl on top of me. There was passion and true engagement. There was more than one position and there was - after a few times at least - orgasms. I remember the first time he went down on me, causing me to come by another mean than my own fingers for the first time ever. It had been such an intense experience.
I knew Oliver had a reputation for going out with a different girl every week but it didn't bother me. He had experience and I didn't - it was perfect. I told him I just wanted something casual and he said that was just what he wanted as well.
We saw each other about three times a week. Usually he'd come over and we'd have sex right away. Afterwards we talked and laughed together. Sometimes he stayed the night and sometimes he went home.
If he hadn't asked for me to meet his parents and to become more serious I doubt the relationship had lasted more than another month. As much as I enjoyed it, I could see that it wasn't going anywhere. I always thought it would end by either him or me meeting someone we wanted to have a real relationship with. That would have been better. But instead he'd grown to have feelings for me. He wanted to give it a real shot. I liked him; he's a nice guy. But I could never imagine going out with him for real. Sure, we could laugh together, but something was missing. When I met Mulder again I realized what it was I didn't have with Oliver. It's nothing I can put into words though. The best way I can describe it is as a very special connection.
But now what I have with Mulder is jeopardized. I have no idea how it came to this. One day everything was good and now it has all been compromised.
I have no desire to talk to Melissa about our issues. I can't see how it'll ever be the same between us again. My relationship with Mulder can still be saved. It needs to be saved. I've tried so hard to figure out what went wrong and I'm quite sure I've finally figured it out when I lastly leave my bedroom late this Sunday afternoon.
Mulder was afraid I liked Oliver because of my strong reaction to the news of him and Melissa. I couldn't understand how he could think that when he knows how I feel about him. I was so sure he knew how I felt that I took it for granted. Maybe he's not sure about me. Admittedly, I've never talked to him about my feelings towards him since the first time we'd had sex. I'd told him I liked him. Of course I'd developed stronger feelings for him since then, feelings of love even. We'd talked about the future but we'd never talked about being in each other's future - it was always just assumed, or so I thought.
It was only five days ago that Mulder had come home tired from work. We'd had dinner and Nicholas had been picked up. Despite being tired and run down he'd wanted to make love and we'd done just that. In his tired and sated state, he'd been just about to fall asleep. I told him I'd go home and let him sleep.
"G'night, Dana, I love you," he said sleepily with a smile on his face.
"Goodnight, Mulder, I'll see you tomorrow," I'd told him back and given him a little kiss before leaving.
It wasn't until I was trying to figure out in my room how we got so lost that I understood the true meaning of this. He'd told me he loved me - for the first time! And I hadn't even acknowledged this, let alone said it back. I already knew in my heart how Mulder felt about me and I assume he felt just like that before I made this mistake. But I must have made him doubt me, planted thoughts in his head. And then I come over crying about Oliver and Melissa.
Now, I don't think Mulder did right but I can definitely see where he's coming from and admit it when I've made a mistake myself. And this time I have made a big one.
I'm trying to figure out how to fix this when dad calls my name. I look up confused, lost in my own thoughts.
"Mulder's on the phone for you," he tells me.
Mulder? Oh, God! I jump down from my chair in the kitchen, where my mom is preparing dinner, and jog into the living room to answer the phone.
I take a deep breath before answering it.
"Hello," I say and realize how stupid I must sound.
"Hey, Dana," he says, sounding as bad as I feel. "I was just wondering if you were still coming over tomorrow to look after Nicholas. You know, because of… you know."
"Yeah, I'm coming over," I say. "And I'm sorry."
He's quiet for a little while.
"No, I'm sorry, Dana. I fucked up, I'm so sorry," he's crying into the phone now.
"Mulder, don't," I beg him. "I love you too. I realize I never said it back, that you wouldn't have been upset if I'd realized what you'd told me. Yes, you were out of line, but I made the biggest mistake, Mulder. I made you doubt me, but I swear I didn't mean to. When you said it… those three words… I didn't even realize the novelty of it. I already knew how you felt and you saying it didn't even register with me until I replayed it in my head today."
There's a small silence again.
"You love me too?" he sounds more joyous this time.
"I do, Mulder. And I have no romantic feelings whatsoever for Oliver. The only thing I was upset about when I came over yesterday was Melissa."
"I know," he sighs. "I've realized that on my own. I made an ass out of myself, Dana. Can you forgive me?"
"Of course I can," I chuckle. "I love you, remember?"
"Yeah," he says and I can hear him smirk through the phone.
"I've told you more times than you've told me now," I tease him.
"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you," he starts chanting making me laugh for what feels like the first time in years.
"Mulder," I say seriously, sobering up after my outbreak of laughter.
"I'm sorry I slapped you," I tell him, the thing that has haunted me the most - exhibiting physical violence towards the man I love.
"Don't worry about it, love," he says seriously. "It was deserving."
"No, it wasn't," I say and I mean it.
"It's in the past, never mind about that," he really doesn't seem to worry about it.
"I'll never do it again," I promise him.
"You could always smack me in the ass if you feel like hurting me," he jokes and I can't help but laugh at his joke.
And that's it. Not ten minutes ago I was wondering if our relationship was a thing of the past and now we're joking, laughing and even saying I love you.
Mom's calling that dinner is ready and we have to hang up. Already I feel so much better and suddenly I realize how hungry I am. I haven't eaten since breakfast the day before.
My whole family seems to pick up on this mood change as well.
"You certainly look like you feel better," mom comments as we start digging into the delicious dinner she's prepared for us.
"I'm way better now," I smile.
Charlie gives me a look that says he probably knows why I'm better. I just give him a little smile, confirming that all it takes to cheer me up is Mulder.
As much on the right track as my relationship with Mulder is again, just as much on the wrong track is my relationship with my older and only sister.
We haven't talked since the argument that Saturday morning. She's not home very much and when she is we stay away from each other. We sleep in beds next to each other, when she doesn't sleep at Oliver's, and we never as much as acknowledge the other's presence.
I feel like this is all Melissa's fault and if things are ever to become good between us again, it all starts with her apologizing or at least explaining herself. The first week, I half expect her to. But now I've come to realize that this may never happen.
Sometimes I shed a few tears over this when I'm alone. As much as I hate her right now I still love her. She used to be my closest friend and confidante. I'd looked forward to spending this summer with her. But now, I'd be surprised if we'd ever share another secret with each other.
In the mean while things are great with the rest of the family and with the Mulders.
It's Sunday July 15 and Mulder and I are spending the day together alone, for the first time in what feels like ages. It's now been two weeks since I spoke to my sister - this too feels like it's been longer. As far as I know she's still seeing Oliver - she's still going out every day, spending her time far away from me.
"My mother is coming home soon," Mulder says casually, as we're lying in bed.
It's late afternoon and we've been in bed most of the day, since I came over this morning. We're both naked under the covers as I'm resting in his arms. He's holding me tight, making me feel beyond safe.
"That's nice," I say. "When?"
"Thursday," he sighs, tracing patterns up and down my back.
"That is soon," I agree.
"Yeah, she only told us last night. She'll be staying in DC for the summer in the apartment."
"In Sam's apartment?" I wonder out loud. "Does she have enough room?"
"Actually it's mom's apartment. After graduating high school about a year ago, Sam wanted to move to DC. Mom thought it would be nice to have an apartment here since she has a lot of friends in town and asked Sam to live there. Sam is decided to make it on her own though so she only agreed under the condition that she pays rent - even though I'm sure my mother puts the money away for Nicholas."
"So your mom just bought an apartment?" I say in disbelief.
"Yeah. Well, she'd just sold one of the houses we didn't use anyway, so it wasn't an issue," he says.
"One of the houses? You have more than one house?" I can't believe this.
"Sure, we have a couple," he shrugs. "Our grandparents left some for us and my mother and father had already acquired a few for themselves."
"Mulder, I never knew you were loaded," I grin up at him.
"It's not something I usually talk about," he chuckles, smirking down at me. "I guess you want a car for Christmas now?"
"Yeah, that would be nice," I laugh with him. "Maybe some diamonds too."
"Anything for you, my dear," he smiles and pulls me fully on top of him and catches my lips with his.
"Mmh," I mumble into our long and slow kiss. "I promised to be home for dinner."
"That's probably for the best," he sighs, kissing me a few more times before settling with holding me close again. "We're out of condoms anyway."
"Oh, I forgot to tell you," I say as I get up. "I started on the pill."
"You did?" he sits up straight in the bed. "When did this happen?"
"Yesterday," I smile over my shoulder as I put on my clothes. "Remember when I said I had something to take care of in town when you asked me to come over and help you with Nicholas?"
"Sure," he nods. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Well, I wasn't sure I could get them, so I didn't want to disappoint you. It's okay though, isn't it? I mean, we know neither of us have any sexually transmitted diseases and it's much easier than condoms, so I thought you'd be okay with it."
"I'm more than okay with it," he says as he gets up from the bed, hugging me from behind. "I've never had sex without a condom before."
"Me neither," I tell him and lean back in his embrace.
"You should have told me sooner, we could have done it today," he says, sounding husky and making me wet for him once again.
"Actually they said it was best if I waited for a few days to have sex, just to make sure the effect has kicked in."
"So I don't have to buy any more condoms?" he wonders, nipping on my neck with his mouth.
"Mmh, no," I say, breathing hard.
"Good," he whispers before letting me go.
I turn around to watch him still naked and now semi-erect. He follows my gaze downwards and shrugs.
"Sorry about that," he chuckles.
"I think that's quite impressive," I say, pulling my denim shorts on. "That you can still do that after having had sex… how many times?"
"Five," he says without missing a beat. "But who's counting?"
"Right," I laugh with him. "Definitely impressive."
He just shrugs, but smirks, and sits down in the armchair in the room to watch me get my things together.
I know he loves it when I compliment him. I also know he'd never admit to this. It does have the annoying side affect of making him a bit too cocky, which is why I'm careful of when I give him these compliments. If I know Sam is coming over, I definitely don't do it. If I'm not seeing him till the next day, like now, I throw a couple his way. It makes him so happy, which makes me happy - and to be honest, he's deserving of every compliment I've ever given him.
"You're not gonna get dressed?" I ask him as I sit down in his lap - now fully clothed.
"I'll throw on some pants when you leave," he shrugs and pulls me close to him.
"I wish I could stay," I say quietly - looking him deep in the eyes.
"I know," he smiles at me. "Me too."
"I know we've never talked about it…" I say, suddenly feeling nervous. "But after this summer maybe…"
I can't get myself to say it. I close my eyes and lean into him.
"Maybe what?" he asks gently, rubbing my back soothingly.
"Maybe…" I sigh, feeling so safe in his arms, breathing in his scent in the crook of his neck. "Maybe you could come visit me some time."
"Of course," he chuckles. "What did you think was going to happen?"
"I don't know," I chuckle myself, relieved with his answer. "I just hoped you'd want to continue."
"Of course I want that," he says seriously as he smiles down at me. "I love you."
"Right," I smile back at him.
Thursday and Friday night I don't see much of Mulder. He comes home after work and we have dinner together but then Sam gets off work herself and he goes back to town with her to see their mother. Nicholas is happy to have his grandmother home again and tells me all about his nana.
Since the Mulders will be attending a gala, thrown by one of their old family friends, they've asked me to babysit Saturday night. This means I'll be going to the Mulders' apartment and also meet Mrs. Mulder for the first time. I'm really nervous about meeting his mother.
I've asked my father for a ride to Alexandria, where the apartment is located, and he's been willing to drive me there. It's around 5 when we get there and I'm surprised when dad gets out of the vehicle as well.
"I might as well say hello," he tells me when he sees my expression.
"Oh, okay," I shrug, not really seeing a reason to why he shouldn't.
We go inside the apartment complex and take the elevator to the fifth floor and find apartment 56. I knock on the door and within a few seconds it's answered.
"Hi, Dana," Samantha greets me in a beautiful dark blue evening gown. "Oh, and hello, Captain Scully."
"Hello, Samantha," he greets her back. "You look very beautiful."
"Oh, thank you," she says, smiling greatly at him. "Come on in."
We follow her into the apartment to a small entrance that leads into a big bright living room, decorated beautifully. The walls are a soothing beige color and most of the furniture is either dark brown and made out of wood or, like the couch, white and plush. There's even a fireplace, I notice.
"Wow, nice place you got here," dad says impressed.
"It's my mom's," Sam shrugs. "I just rent it."
"Danaaaaa!" Nicholas interrupts our conversation as he comes running from a hallway, that I assume leads to the other rooms of the apartment, and jumps into my arms.
"Hello, sweetheart," I say lovingly as we hug each other. "You missed me?"
"Yes," he says sweetly before kissing my cheek.
"Hi, Dana," a familiar voice greets me and I look up to see Mulder.
He takes my breath away. He's nicely dressed in a tuxedo, his hair is combed back and he's freshly shaved. He's probably the most handsome man I've ever seen.
"Hi, Mulder," I say back and I know he can see in my eyes what I really want to say because he's smirking that cocky little smirk of his.
"You scrub up pretty well, kid," dad tells him, patting his shoulder.
"Thank you, Captain Scully," he says proudly.
"I think my mom is making some coffee, would you like a cup, Captain?" Sam asks him sweetly.
"Oh, I don't want to get in your way," he shakes his head.
"Don't be silly, we're all ready to go but we don't need to for another…" she checks the time on the clock on the wall in the living room. "… thirty minutes or so."
"Well, in that case, I'd love a cup of coffee," he says sweetly and follows Sam to the kitchen.
I put Nicholas down and he runs after his mother and my dad. As soon as they've disappeared through the door to the kitchen I pull Mulder down to kiss me.
"Mmh," he mumbles and returns my fervor.
I try to control myself and pull out of the kiss after a small minute.
"What was that for?" he asks me knowingly, his hands still around my waist.
"You look very handsome, Mulder," I tell him, grinning, removing my hands from around his neck.
"If I could I'd stay home with you tonight," he says as he reluctantly removes his hands from me.
"Don't be silly," I chuckle. "I bet you'll have a great time, catching up with your old friends."
"They're my mom's friends," he says. "I'll be bored out of my mind."
"Well, the food will probably be nice," I try to cheer him up, as we move towards the kitchen.
"Sure," he sighs. "I guess that's true."
"Oh, hello, honey," I'm greeted with an older woman the second I step into the kitchen. "Finally I meet this Dana I've heard so much about."
"Hello, Mrs. Mulder, nice to finally meet you," I tell her polite as we shake hands.
"Nicholas talks about you all the time," she tells me sweetly and I instantly like her. "And Sam and Fox too of course."
"Oh," I say, not really knowing how to respond to this. "Well, you have a beautiful family, I'm happy to be counted as a friend."
"Fox, you never told me she's the captain's daughter," she accuses her son.
"Sorry, mother," he says polite with a funny little smile on his lips.
"Oh, never mind," she says, shaking her head as she sits back down by the island where Sam and my father are sat having a cup of coffee.
"Would you like some coffee, Dana?" Mulder asks me as he gets a cup for himself.
"Sure, thanks," I say and sit down next to my dad.
Nicholas is sat in his mother's lap, munching on a cookie. Mulder sits down next to me on the opposite side of the island than his mother and sister, as he pours me a cup of coffee.
"Thank you," I say quietly as I take a sip of the delicious coffee.
"This is good," Mrs. Mulder sighs. "As much as I love England they can't make a decent cup of coffee anywhere there."
"How long were you in England for?" my dad asks her and they make friendly conversation.
I look over at Nicholas, happily munching away on some cookies and drinking some milk - he looks quite happy, and I can't help but smile at him as he has a milk moustache.
I look to Mulder to find him smiling at me. I nod towards Nicholas and Mulder can't help but laugh as he eyes his nephew.
"Buddy," he chuckles. "Wipe your mouth, okay?"
Nicholas brings the back of his hand to his mouth and wipes it clean before continuing to eat his delicious treat. We all laugh at him, while he wonders what's so funny.
Soon my dad leaves and not long after the Mulders leave as well.
I start on dinner for Nicholas and me. Samantha has shopped for lasagna and when I've put it in the oven I join Nicholas in the living room where he's watching a movie on television.
"The Wizard of Oz," I say happily as I sit down next to him. "I loved that movie when I was a kid."
"I watched it with Uncle Fox once," Nicholas tells me, absorbed in the movie. "He loves it too."
I pull Nicholas into my lap and we snuggle up on the couch to watch the movie. It's already halfway through when I sit down but it doesn't matter - I know it well.
"Do you love my Uncle Fox?" Nicholas asks me out of nowhere as we're watching the movie.
"I do," I tell him, after a little moment of contemplating. "Why do you ask?"
"Do you love me too?" he asks, now looking me into my eyes.
"Of course I do," I smile down at him.
He smiles and puts his little arms around my neck to give me a hug.
"Aw, Nicholas," I say, finding him completely endearing.
"One time my mommy told me Uncle Fox had a girlfriend but I don't think that was you," he says.
"No, it wasn't," I tell him, remembering Mulder told me Nicholas never met Diana. "He had another girlfriend back then."
"Where is she now?" he wonders.
"I don't know," I say honestly. "But your uncle isn't seeing her anymore, so you don't have to worry about her."
"Have you ever had a boyfriend before my uncle?" he wonders out loud again.
"Yeah, I have," I tell him. "But that's a long time ago. I'm with your Uncle Fox now."
"Will you ever stop being with him like his old girlfriend?" he asks worried.
"I hope not," I say honestly. "I love your uncle very much and he loves me. I hope we'll be together for a long time."
"Forever?" he sounds hopeful.
"Maybe we'll be together forever," I smile.
"I hope so, I don't want to loose you," he says sadly.
I'm reminded of when Mulder told me about Nicholas' past cancer. Of how he'd lost some of his new friends he'd met in the hospital.
"No matter what, I'll always keep in touch, okay?" I say happily, trying to lighten his mood.
"Okay, Dana," he smiles greatly up at me, before going back to his movie.
I give him a little squeeze before refocusing back on the TV screen myself.
As the movie is done so is the lasagna. I take it out of the oven and bring out the salad I've prepared from the fridge. We have a nice dinner and after I've cleaned up after us in the kitchen we make a few drawings. It's getting late though and I notice Nicholas yawning. We go to the bathroom and brush our teeth - I do it in sympathy, to make it easier for him. Afterwards he shows me his room. He has a magnificent room. It's painted a calming light blue color and there's a nice big bed and about a thousand toys. After he's gotten into his pajamas, he picks a book for me to read to him and we snuggle up in his bed as I start reading to him. Before long though, he's fallen asleep. I put the book down and give his forehead a little kiss before getting out of bed and turning off the lights in his room. He's such a special kid.
I catch a movie on TV, Alfred Hitchcock's North by Northwest. I can't help wondering what it would be like watching this with Mulder. Something I always think about when watching something on TV or when I listen to music these days. I try and figure out which kind of comments he'd make, how he'd react, and what he'd think. It's a weird pastime that makes me miss him a little less.
It's gotten quite late so I make my way to the guest bedroom. It's a big apartment; there's a master bedroom that belongs to Samantha, there's Nicholas' and Mrs. Mulder's room, and then there's the guest bedroom where Mulder usually sleeps when he's in town, but where I'll be staying tonight - leaving Mulder with the couch.
It's by far the smallest of the rooms but it has a nice queen sized bed. As I walk into the room there's a desk on my right and a painting on the wall to the left and then there's the bed straight ahead. It only just fits into the room but it looks really comfortable. The pillows are in the same side of the room as the desk, so one can look up at the beautiful painting of a green landscape when in bed.
As I'm dressed in only my panties and an oversized tee, I turn on the light on the desk and turn off the loft lamp. I reach into my bag to find my birth control, and as I've taken the little pill, I grab my book from the bag and get comfortable in the bed where I start to read.
An hour must have passed before I finally stop reading. I've finished the book. I look at my wristwatch, before taking it off and placing it on the desk quite near to the bed. It's nearly midnight. I should try and sleep but I know I won't be able to. It's always hard for me to fall asleep when I'm in a new place. I consider getting up to go get a glass of water but then I hear the front door. The Mulders must be home. I quickly reach out to turn off the light so they don't see I'm still up.
I lay down in bed as I hear them talk quietly out in the living room. Samantha says goodnight first and soon after so does Mrs. Mulder. It feels weird knowing Mulder is only about 20 feet away from me, sleeping on the couch.
The door to the guest bedroom opens and I hear someone sneak in.
"You sleeping?" I hear Mulder's voice.
"No," I whisper back and he joins me in the bed.
"You shouldn't be in here," I tell him, but enjoy cuddling up to him.
"You know, we've only slept together once," he says matter-of-factly.
"Really?" I snicker.
"Well, with actual sleep involved," he clarifies.
"I remember," I say. "It was our first time."
"Yeah," he sighs. "That feels like a thousand years ago."
"When was it? 9'th of June?" I wonder, I never thought about the exact date before.
"The 10'th," he says. "Since it was past midnight."
"Right," I chuckle.
"Is it okay if I sleep in here? I'll sneak out in the morning."
"Yeah," I sigh, so comfortable cuddled up to him. "I like sleeping with you."
"Mmh, me too," he says. "I was wondering about something."
"What was that?"
"Well, just know you can decline if you want to, but I was wondering if I could tell my mother about us. I mean, she really seems to like you and it would just make things easier. But if it's too early for you, I understand. I mean it's only been a month and a half and I know you're…"
"That would be okay," I stop him from rambling on.
"It would?" he seems surprised but happy.
"Yeah," I say and reach up to give him a kiss on the lips. "Maybe we could have dinner together next week and tell her then."
"Yeah," he agrees. "That sounds good."
We're quiet for a little while and I start to believe he's drifted off to sleep.
"What about your parents?" he asks me suddenly.
"What about them?" I yawn.
"Have you thought about telling them?"
"Actually I've told them I'm seeing someone. Well, I told my mother but I think she's told my father. But I didn't tell them who it was. I think they assume it's someone from college."
"I don't know if I'm ready for your father to know…" he says carefully.
"I know, me neither," I tell him. "I mean, I think he'll approve, but I just… well, if we tell him everything will be different."
"Yeah, it's different with him," Mulder agrees. "He's my superior."
"Exactly," I sigh. "But maybe in a few months, if we feel better about it then."
"Yeah," he sighs content. "Maybe then."
"Goodnight, Mulder," I tell him and we kiss gently.
Sunday morning I wake up to Mulder kissing my neck and his erection sticking into my bum. I stretch and rub against him. He groans and his hand travels from my hip, under my big t-shirt, and upwards where it closes around my breast. I can't help a small moan from escaping me, God this feels good.
I turn around in his arms so I can kiss him. He pulls me on top of him as we kiss languidly, his hands roaming all over my body. His hard cock is pushing against my sex, and I'm painfully aware that we're both wearing underwear. He seems to be aware of this too and starts by removing my t-shirt. I sit up straight on top of him and lift my arms to let him pull it over my head. He throws it to the side and it lands on the desk. And that's when I realize where we are.
"Mulder," I say in hushed tones, as he's busy massaging my breasts. "Mulder, we can't do this!"
"What?" he stills his hands on my breasts. "What's wrong?"
I remove his hands from me and stand up to retreat my t-shirt.
"Dana!" he whispers loudly, as he too stands and grabs onto my arm. "What is it?"
"Mulder, we can't do this with your family here," I tell him.
"Sure, we can," he smirks and picks up my watch from the desk and looks at it. "See - it's only six in the morning, they won't be up for hours."
"Oh, I don't know," I shake my head but he's pulling me in.
"Dana," he chuckles, with his arms around me. "Let's just get back into bed and see what happens."
"I think we both know what will happen," I grin up at him and he leans down to kiss me once more.
All reason flees as our tongues battle. My arms move around his neck and soon my hands are roaming his hair. His hands travel down to my ass before he pulls my panties down. I feel them fall around my ankles. He rids himself of his own boxers as we continue to kiss and soon his cock is jabbing me in the stomach.
He pulls out of the kiss and pulls the covers down before lying back down in bed. He's watching me intently and his cock is throbbing. I walk over to the bed and he reaches out for me. His hand is running up and down the back of my thigh as his other hand grabs onto his hard cock and starts slowly stroking it.
"You coming?" he asks me, breathing heavily and sounding very needy.
"Mmh," I say as I move to sit on top of him.
I'm hovering above him on the bed, he positions his cock and I move down over him.
"Oh, God," I sigh - it feels so amazing every time he enters me.
This past week we've been having sex without condoms since I started taking birth control pills. It took us both by surprise how it felt that first time sans condom. Mulder had barely made a decent thrust before he came inside of me. Before long we'd tried again though and this time I really felt how magnificent it was to be rid of the condom.
As I start moving on top of him Mulder moves with me, but soon he stops me.
"What is it?" I wonder, sounding breathy.
He sits up while he's still inside of me and moves my legs from beside his to behind him. Locking my legs behind his back, like when we have sex standing up. He puts his hands to my ass and starts moving and OH MY GOD.
"God, Mulder," I moan quietly, breathing quite hard now.
I realize he's sitting cross-legged as we move together, his hands helping me to move, while his mouth is kissing my neck.
"It's the lotus position," he breathes, moving his kisses from my neck to my mouth. "You like it?"
"Mmh," I mumble against his lips. "I do."
"I read about it in a book," he tells me panting, sweat dripping down his chest.
"A book?" I question.
"Mhm," he confirms - I decide to save further questions for later as I can feel my orgasm build.
This position is so intimate and so erotic. I love how close our faces are and that I can move my hands through his hair.
My head whips back as I climax while Mulder kisses my chest and neck. As I've ridden out my orgasm he pulls me close again before we move together a few last times as he comes inside of me. I love that I can feel it inside of me when he comes - another perk of being rid of condoms. We sit with our foreheads against each other's as we try to catch our breaths.
"What's wrong?" I hear Nicholas say.
I turn my head and see the boy standing there only slightly more than six feet away from us, clad in a pajamas and with big worried eyes.
Mulder hurriedly pulls the cover from the end of bed and manages to shield our lower bodies. As nice as this position was to make love in, it's not really an easy one to get out of - especially not if you don't want another person in the room to see you naked.
"Nicholas!" Mulder yells at him. "Get out of here!"
"Mulder," I scold him for yelling at the boy.
"Why were you crying, Dana?"
Oh God, how much has he seen?
"I'm not crying, Nicholas," I tell him hurriedly. "Now, please, go outside and wait, okay?"
"Why?" he wonders.
"Because we're making love and that's a very private thing, Nicholas," Mulder says - more calm this time. "Now, get out."
"Making love?" Nicholas frowns. "Is that like a game? Can I play?"
"No!" Mulder says frantically. "Nicholas, get out of here!"
"What's going on in…" Mrs. Mulder starts as she comes into the room - probably having heard the noise. "Oh!"
I turn my head away from them. God, I've never been this embarrassed before in my entire life.
"Nana, Uncle Fox says I can't play with them," I can hear Nicholas tell his grandmother.
"Nicholas, come on," she ushers him out of the room and I hear the door close.
We're quiet for minutes. Speechless. I'm resting my head on his shoulder, my head still faced away from the door.
"I'm so sorry, Dana," he finally breaks the silence. "I shouldn't have…"
"Ssh," I stop him from talking with a finger on his mouth. "We both decided to make love, Mulder. It's no one's fault. Am I embarrassed? Yes. But we'll get over this, okay?"
"Okay," he sighs. "Oh, God, I was afraid you'd kill me!"
"You won't get out of this that easy," I try to joke but it turns out death would probably be easier to handle than getting caught by your boyfriend's mother.
We get out of our position and I get dressed in my jean shorts and white jumper while Mulder only has his boxers to put on.
We both take deep breaths before moving into the kitchen. Mrs. Mulder is cooking by the stove while Nicholas is sat at the island in the middle of the room, drawing something.
"Oh, good morning," she greets us as if nothing has happened. "Sit down, you two, breakfast is ready."
"Okay, mom," Mulder says happily and sits down.
Her reaction couldn't be better and I can't help a relieved smile from making its appearance on my face as I sit down next to Mulder, while she brings food for a complete English breakfast to the table.
We don't really talk and it is slightly awkward but all things considered it could be a lot worse. Nicholas seems oblivious to what he walked in on and happily eats his breakfast while continuing on his drawing.
We've only just started eating when Sam joins us in the kitchen. She takes her seat next to Nicholas.
"Good morning," she smiles at the people around the table before starting on her breakfast.
Before long though she picks up on the tension in the room. She looks around at us, trying to figure out what's wrong. I'm hoping and praying she'll let it go but of course I'm not that lucky.
"Is something wrong?" she asks.
"No, dear," Mrs. Mulder says, shaking her head.
"Mom, it's not fair, Dana and Uncle Fox didn't want me to play with them," Nicholas tells her, obviously feeling like he's been left out.
"Oh, that wasn't very nice of them," Sam chuckles and looks up at her brother and me - although both of us are looking down to our plates.
"Seriously," she sighs exaggerated. "What's wrong?"
"Nicholas walked in on Fox and Dana," Mrs. Mulder says quickly - as if getting it over with as soon as possible. "Now, who wants more pancakes?"
"What the hell?" Samantha exclaims, pulling Nicholas into her side. "You did what in front of my son?"
"Sam, for Christ's sake," Mulder cries. "Teach your kid how to knock, okay?"
"How much did he see?" she wonders, frowning.
"He has no idea what he saw," Mulder sighs. "He just stood there and didn't leave when I told him to."
Sam thinks this over for a good moment. I'm still looking down at my plate, not eating anymore.
"Is that true, Nicholas?" she then says, surprising me, making me look up. "Did you just run into where Dana slept and refused to leave?"
"No," he shakes his head and I can see tears well up in his eyes.
"Don't lie to me, Nicholas," Sam says coolly.
He nods his head crying now and I feel beyond bad.
"Why didn't you leave when Fox asked you to?" Sam asks calmly, rubbing his back.
"I just…" he sniffles. "I-I thought D-D-Dana was c-crying, and d-didn't want to g-g-gooo."
Oh, for God's sake, when will this ever end? I can feel my cheeks now completely red.
"She wasn't crying, Nicholas," Mulder says. "And she told you that too and asked you to leave. Another time you do what we say, okay?"
"O-okay," he sobs. "Sorry, Uncle Fox."
"It's okay, buddy," he says and walks over to pull Nicholas into his arms and hug him.
Nicholas hides his head in the crook of Mulder's neck and Mulder comforts him as he sits back down next to me.
"So," Mrs. Mulder says to me and I look up at her. "I guess you're Fox' girlfriend."
"Yeah," I chuckle but blush again. "We didn't mean to tell you like that."
"I'm sure you didn't," she laughs herself. "It's nice to meet you, Dana."
"Mom, you met her yesterday," Mulder shakes his head at her.
"I didn't quite know how important she was though," she smiles at me. "He's never brought anyone home before. Well, not since high school."
"Mom," he warns her. "You're embarrassing me."
"Sorry, dear," she grins.
I look over to see Nicholas is done crying. He's sitting in his uncle's lap, leaning back against Mulder's naked chest. He looks over at me.
"Are you mad at me, Dana?" he asks, his lip trembling.
"No, honey, of course not," I say and pull him into my own lap.
He goes willingly and hugs me.
"We all make mistakes," I tell him. "What's important is that we learn from them."
"I promise I'll knock the next time," he says, making us all chuckle.
"That sounds good," Mulder says and gives me a perfect smile.
I only now realize how disheveled his hair is and I can feel myself blush anew.
It's late when I get home Sunday night. Mulder and I have spent the day walking around town. We came by a park where we laid down in the grass and talked about everything and nothing.
"I expected you home a lot sooner," dad says as I step into the kitchen.
"Yeah, Sam and I got to talking," I shrug.
"She really is a nice young woman," he says. "How old is she?"
"She's my age," I tell him, sitting down by the table opposite him.
"Really?" he's surprised. "She had Nicholas young then."
"Yeah, she did," I nod my head.
"How did it go, honey?" mom asks me as she walks into the kitchen.
"It went great," I smile up at her. "You know Nicholas, he's an easy kid."
"That boy loves you, Dana," she says proudly. "Have you ever had a problem with him?"
"Just one time," I remember this morning. "We resolved it though."
"Your father tells me the Mulders have a great place," she says, sounding dreamy.
"Yeah," I chuckle. "It's a beautiful apartment."
"Fox and Samantha are both so down to earth, you'd never know they come from money," she says impressed.
"They're just normal people like us, mom," I grin.
"Oh, I know," she shakes her head. "It's just sometimes wealth rises to people's heads. It's nice that's not the case with the Mulders."
"It is," I chuckle - obviously we haven't socialized with a lot of wealthy people, causing for my mother's rather stereotypical view on people with money - she means well though, I know that.
"Don't laugh at your old mother, Dana," my dad tells me smiling.
"Bill Scully! Who are you calling old?" mom fakes offend.
We're all laughing when Melissa comes into the kitchen. I immediately stop laughing when she looks directly at me. This is the first time she's acknowledged my existence in weeks.
"Can I talk to you?" she asks me.
"Okay," I say and get up to follow her to our joined room.
I go to stand by my bed while she closes the door behind us. I fold my arms over my chest - a way to protect myself, I figure.
"I knew you were hiding something from me," she begins. "I had no idea what but I could feel it. There was something you weren't telling me."
I realize she's talking about our second week here when Mulder and I snuck around.
"I even asked you about it but you downright lied to me and said nothing was going on."
I feel bad all of a sudden. I'd never thought about this from her perspective before. But that doesn't make up for what she did.
"It went on for weeks," she continues. "And when I saw Oliver in that bar, when you told me who he is, I was sure this was all because you were seeing him again, that you'd fallen in love with him."
She thought I was in love with Oliver? Why the hell did she sleep with him then?
"When I flirted with him that night all I wanted was a reaction from you - and maybe a little payback for the way you'd lied to me - but when he flirted back, I was at a loss once more."
She's quiet for a good while, and I'm wondering if she expects me to say something.
"I met up with him the next day. He called me. I only went to find out what was going on with you. I though maybe it had something to do with college, that maybe he would know."
She looks down and folds her own arms over her chest.
"I didn't mean for it to happen, Dana," her eyes are filled with tears. "But when we started talking, I liked him. I think… I'm in love with him."
"The first thing I asked him about was if he knew what was up with you. He said he didn't think anything was up. But he also said he thought you were going out with one of the guys we were with in the bar. He couldn't really remember his name or exactly what he looked like but this explained everything. You're sneaking around with one of dad's lieutenants and you can't even tell me. I thought we were sisters and even best friends. But I guess I was wrong."
Her words hurt me deeper than I thought possible. Her actions when she told me about Oliver, her actions these past few weeks - it all makes sense. I thought she'd betrayed me by going out with Oliver. But I'd betrayed her.
"The reason I'm telling you all this now," she says. "Is because I found out who you're seeing. I know it's Fox Mulder."