Chap 26: A World Without Ghirahim
"What?" I said to myself, barely above a whisper. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
I should be in my world. I should be in a forest filled with summer breezes, and birds and trees singing out in life. Yet here I was, standing in a forest with wet snow that seeped through my shoes. There was no life; all things were dead or sleeping, dull and boring.
I felt devastated. I felt confused. I felt angry. I felt forsaken. But most of all; I felt insane.
I wasn't going crazy, right? There was another world out there; MY world. It had Ghirahim in it. And Link and Zelda and Impa and that old lady. It was all mine and I could pass through these trees to get there. Daniel granted me the world, didn't he? Didn't he!?
"Daniel!" I shouted out, mentally slapping myself for not thinking of it earlier. "That's it! I'll call Daniel!" So I called out his name, my heart so hopeful, I could sing. "Daniel!" My voice echoed through the forest. I expected him to pop out of nowhere, right then and there. Yet a minute passed and nothing happened.
Was Daniel even real? Or did I make him up? Did I make up Link and Zelda? Impa? Did I make the whole world up?
Was Ghirahim even real?
I shook my head vigorously. Of course Ghirahim was real! My necklace was gone! He broke it! But as I reached to my throat, my eyes widened in horror.
As I looked down, lifting the necklace off my neck, I realized that it was there. It was perfectly intact and it was perfectly silver. I stared in absolute terror and horror and disbelief. Yet it couldn't be! I don't remember putting it on this morning! All the others days...I didn't have it on, right?
I quickly pulled my sleeve up to expose my arm, the cool air rushing to choke the warmth from me. Ghirahim had cut me back in Skyview Temple. When he healed me, he said it wouldn't leave a big scar, unless you looked really carefully at it. I thought back to all the times I was in Ghirahim's bath, tracing the lines of the thin red, horizontal line running across my arm. But as I examined my arm, I saw nothing, not even a freckle.
My heart was racing now, beating so loudly in my ears and so fast that I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I kind of wished that I would; I didn't want to believe this could be happening!
This time I pulled my shirt down so that my shoulder was exposed, making sure that there was a wound from the poisoned arrow. It had left behind a rather small, light scar on my shoulder. Yet again, pulling the strap of my bra away, I found there to be no scar.
My hands went to my head, running through my hair. For a moment, all that I could feel was panic, as though angry bees on fire had filled my entire body, stinging me repeatedly. My vision faded through clear to foggy, then back again. Quickly, to distract myself, I walked forward to the trees. I tried to walk through them once more, turning left, hoping with all my might that I had accidentally messed up. I mean, I AM a ditz! It could be possible.
But as I tried it again, and again just in case, I found it to be no use. Nothing was happening. Everything was just falling apart.
There was no fucking way that I didn't have scars from my injuries. And I KNOW that I had gotten hurt. There was no way I hadn't! And Ghirahim was real, because he was the one who gave me one of the scars! How is it possible that I didn't have them!? I can't...NOT have them.
"Unless you're crazy," A voice in my head reasoned with me. More fear and stress crept up on me, my stomach churning as my mind tried to plant the seeds of doubt.
No! I wasn't crazy! My world was real! Link and Zelda were real! Daniel was real. Impa was real. The bokoblins were real. The Loftwings were real. My powers were real.
Ghirahim was real.
He had to be.
I saw the tears blur my eyes. I felt them roll down my cheek, the wetness burning my skin. They left trails of what felt like hot lava in it's place. The lump in my throat formed, along with the knot in my stomach. My heart cried out in such sorrow, I could feel it rip in half. Then I lost it once the first sob escaped my lips.
I cried. I cried hard.
Ghirahim had to be real! He just had to be!
All those moments we spent together, angry at each other, laughing with each other...We talked, we laughed, we yelled, we argued, we fought, we kissed...They all had to be real. I mean, it FELT real. There's no way it was all just a dream. It just couldn't be! There was no way that someone I had been around so much, someone I had cuddled with so much, felt, touched, talked with, felt their tongue—no matter how disgusting—against my cheek...could possibly cease to exist!
"Ghirahim..." I sobbed, crying into my hands as I leaned against the tree. My memories of him were vivid in my mind, telling me he was real. Yet the cold hard facts said otherwise. Then one memory stuck out among the rest.
The last thing I said to Ghirahim was that I hated him. I told him that I never wanted to see him again. Now look what happened; my wish came true, but I was complete and utterly unhappy. Of course, I never thought something like this would actually happen! I never meant for it to happen!
"And I said it because of this stupid, useless, cheap fucking necklace!" I shouted, taking hold of the silver chain and tearing it from my neck. It came off with a yank against my neck, tearing the small hairs from there. The tears fell from my eyes as I stared down in horror. "All because of this...I'll...I'll..." I gulped, suddenly unable to find my voice. I felt as though I died.
But as I closed my eyes and scrunched my face up in absolute sadness, I knew that I didn't need to say it. My mind was already finishing what I wanted yet refused to say.
"I'll never see Ghirahim again."
A sob tore from my throat. It ran out into the empty and white, dull forest. It was a sob like no other I've ever heard. And it came from me.
I clenched the necklace in my hand as tight as I could. I threw my arm back as far as I could have it, then hurled the necklace as hard into the white forest as I could. The moment it left my hands I collapsed on the ground, sobbing my eyes out. The most worse, horrible feeling fell over me like a thick black blanket ready to choke me.
"I—I—didn't...didn't m—mean it! I'm—I'm—I'm—so—sorry Ghirahim! I don't h—hate you. I want to s—see you again! I want to see you eve—everyday for the re—rest of my life!"
Why was this happening? Why did if have to happen to me? I don't even know WHAT was happening!
"Ghirahim! Please!" I begged now, sobbing so hard I could have sworn half the world heard me. And I don't know who I was begging to. Maybe it was Ghirahim, maybe it was Daniel, maybe it was God. I don't know. I just begged whoever was watching over me right this moment to help me. To get me out of this horrible, horrible situation I so desperately wished to be a dream.
More shouts of people nearby—some were calling my name. Still, I ignored them.
"Ghirahim...HE'S REAL!" I sobbed out, closing my eyes and curling up into a ball on the snow. I didn't care how cold or how sick I got. I wanted Ghirahim, I wanted to see my Ghirahim. "I refuse to believe that he's not! He's mine! He's real! I've seen him, I've heard him!"
Everything just faded away then. I was still sobbing my eyes out but I was no longer in the snowy forest. I was just...somewhere.
A distinct, deep sounding laughter passed over me. It wasn't the laughter I was used to. It wasn't Ghirahim's lively, cocky laughter whenever he was doing something mischievous. I wasn't even his amused laughter.
No, this laughter belonged to something far more evil. It echoed around in that place, wherever I was, giving me a shiver down my spine.
"Ghirahim..." I cried out, one last time.
"Alright, Gina, why don't you start off by telling me what's on your mind?"
"Nothing," I stated, my voice monotone and lifeless.
"Nothing? I find that hard to believe,"
"There's nothing," I answered again, closing my eyes.
"Well, I think that there actually is something. You just don't want to talk about it."
"There's nothing," I repeated.
The doctor huffed, and leaned forward from the couch he was sitting on. Currently, I was sitting in a psychiatrist office, being examined by this skinny, black haired man. I didn't care to even know his name. I just knew that I didn't want to talk to him.
"Gina, whatever is on your mind, does it have anything to do with your Mother?" He asked. I only stared blankly at him. "Your father?"
"Anything with your family?"
"Does it have anything to do with Ghirahim?"
My head shot up at him, my eyes wide and my heart pumping blood.
"What'd you say?" I eagerly asked, practically jumping out of my skin. Did...he just say his name?!
"I..." He was dumbstruck for a moment. "Does it have anything to do with girl problems?" He offered, tilting his head again. I stared at him for a moment, processing what he just said.
"Are you sure you said that?" I asked, rubbing the bags under my eyes.
"Positive...why? Did you think I said something else?" He asked, grabbing his clip board. I sat back in the couch again, staring at me. Slowly, I turned my head from side to side, indicating that I didn't.
"Gina, why are you lying to me?"
"Because I am." I stated, truthfully.
"And why is that?"
"Because if I tell you the truth, you're going to think I'm crazy." Why was a I telling him? Every word that came from my mouth would dig me deeper in this hole I landed myself in. This shit hole without Ghirahim next to me.
"You won't know that for sure," He stated, factually. I stared at him a moment, giving that a bit of thought.
"No, I'm sure you'll think I'm crazy." I continued. "If even I think I'm crazy, then what do you think that means?"
The doctor sighed, rubbing his own eyes. I watched him after that, reach into a bag at the end of the couch and pull out a picture of some sort. He placed it on the coffee table in front of me. I stared down at the picture. It was of what I drew on the wall in the lunch room. The crude drawing of Ghirahim. So...they did research on me. That's not alarming at all.
"Do you know this man?"
I only stared at the picture.
"You're friend, Lizzy, said that you did...but that you couldn't remember him. Does that mean anything to you?" He asked.
I stared and stared at the picture. If I answered no, I'd be lying. If I answered yes, they'd know I'm crazy. Then they'd put me on some pills or throw me in some loony bin. Either way, I was stuck here. I was stuck in a world without Ghirahim.
Silently, I reached out to the picture and took it between my two fingers. I delicately cupped it in my hands, bringing it closer to me and looking down at the crude drawing of Ghirahim.
Ghirahim was real. There just couldn't any way that he wasn't. He just had to be real.
"Gina? Does this man mean anything to you?" The doctor repeated. I continued to stare. And before I could stop myself, my tears had started to fall. Although they were silent, they were visible.
What does Ghirahim mean to me?
He's my friend—my best friend. He's important to me. You could say he's my crush...I definitely like him. I kissed him for crying out loud—twice. Maybe even more that than! I...I love him. And I mean I love him, but I'm not in love with him. It was a caring love. A love you have for someone dear to you. But I did love Ghirahim. Still do.
And right now...I'm missing him.
"Gina? Who is this man?" The doctor asked again.
"A friend?" He asked.
"A dear friend," I added.
"And...where did is this dear friend?" He pressed.
I looked up at him with sad, hollow eyes for a moment. I wanted him to see how miserable I was. I wanted him to see the life in my eyes slowly dying because I was stuck in a world without Ghirahim.
I took in a shaky breath, my heart pounding in my chest. "My friend, Doctor, isn't an ordinary friend. He's not from here...from this world." I leaned back in the couch, hugging Ghirahim closer to me. "My friend comes from a world that I wished for. And that world was granted to me...and my friend came with that world."
"Really?" He asked, writing stuff on his clip board.
"Hmmhmm..." I smiled as I remembered the first times I met Ghirahim. "The first time; he tried to kill me. The third time I ran into him, he teleported us away to a snowy waste land—where once again he tried to kill me. However, because I wished for this world, I was also given powers; powers of what God would have. Though, I can't control them. When my friend tried to kill me, unknowingly, I stole his powers."
"Keep going," The doctor smiled at me. I looked down at Ghirahim again, focusing on his face. His beautiful face.
"He started to freak out." I smiled again. "I slapped him because he was being hysterical, and acting like a baby. That's where I found his nickname—because he whines so much. But either way, I calmed him down and for once we worked together to get out of there. Though, on our way, we walked over a frozen lake that wasn't so frozen. He fell through, and I went in after him to save him."
I took a deep breath at the vivid memories in my mind. They were so beautiful, so hopeful...yet at this time all it caused was pain. Pain because right now I could not get back.
"Eventually, I passed out because it was so cold...you would think I would die, but I didn't. I woke up shivering in a bed. My friend had brought me all the way to his castle and saved my life, because I saved his. I suppose that's where it started off; me saving him. After that, we just ran into each other again and again. Of course, we acted civil, but there were moments where we pissed each other off. We got into fights. But somehow we always end up being friends again."
"You say that your friend is from a different world?" The doctor inquired.
I nodded, still staring that the picture cradled in my hands. "You probably think I'm crazy. But I want you to know my friend is real! Honestly! I just...I can't get back to my world for some reason. And my friend can't get over here to bring me back." I looked up at him, sighing. "I just miss him..." Fresh tears blurred my eyes. "I must be crazy though, right? But...he's real. He's still my best friend. He understands and cares for me. Even if we get into fights we...he's still..."
"Did something 'big' happen with you friend before you could no longer get back to your world?" He asked. It seemed as though he were mocking me...yet at the same time he was curious.
I trailed a finger on the picture, tracing the outlines of his face. "Yes, he broke my necklace and I got angry at him. I yelled at him, told him I hated him...and that...I never wanted to see him again." More tears trailed down my face. "I was just so angry at him! He knew how much that necklace was to me! But now I realize the necklace wasn't worth jack shit next to what Ghirahim's worth! Ghirahim's the greatest friend I'll ever have! I trust him with my life! I love him."
The doctor watched me for a second as I cried. All though my tears I just stared at Ghirahim. It didn't compare to how he actually looked. Yet it was the closest thing I had to him. Finally, the doctor sighed, bringing my attention to him "Gina, I believe your session for today is over. Your Mother is waiting outside in the lobby."
I nodded, but continued to stare at Ghirahim.
"You can keep the picture if you want." I looked up, shock on my face. Slowly, it turned into a small, sad smile. But I nodded and thanked him, getting up and clutching the picture to my chest. The doctor opened the door for me, then followed me out to meet my Mother.
While I sat, staring at Ghirahim, they didn't realize I was listening.
"So, she's crazy?" My mother asked, her tone worried and tired.
"Ma'am, I would not say she is crazy." His voice was stressed. "I would compare this to a high level of imagination. She acts like a young child with an imaginary friend. Though, her emotional attachment to her imaginary friend is stronger than normal. She described him as the greatest friend she has ever had. She seemed rather happy when she talked about him.. However, she's gotten reality mixed up with imaginary. She thinks the only way to see him is to go to her 'world' where he's waiting for her."
"So, what is there to do?"
He sighed. "For now, let her grow out of it. It may fade; it may be something more than just an imaginary friend. I want to let it go and see how long this will last before we put her on any medication. We'll continue our sessions every week so that I may assess her mental stability."
"Thank you Doctor." My mother sighed.
"You're very welcome."
They thought I had an imaginary friend? That's cute...Ghirahim...an imaginary friend.
Ghirahim was real. He was just in another world.
While I was stuck in a world without Ghirahim.