Chapter 2 - Why?
Chapter 2- Why?
Sookie was sitting on the porch swing when Eric landed in her front yard. Two days had passed since last they spoke and she had used her time to think of his words to her and what she wanted from her life. Her body was leaned forward, elbows on her knees, unconsciously mirroring body language she had seen from him numerous times in the past. It indicated that she was anxious.
Eric recognized that anxiety, and the body language. He filed it
away, feeling it was significant that she would mirror him, but not yet
understanding what it meant.
"Hello, Sookie." Eric broke the silence first, wanting to get underway with this discussion.
He had spent his two days thinking through what he had said to her and how he could bring it to fruition as soon as possible. What enticements he might offer, though he could hardly think of anything better than claiming her, and that the claiming in itself would be enough for most, more than enough. He had been slightly at a loss, as usual with her, as to why he was judged and found so lacking that he needed to sweeten the pot to win her. He was not surprised when her response to his greeting was to jump right in with what had her so wired up.
"Why do you want me, Eric?"
His lack of surprise however, in no way prepared him to be ready for her question. "W-What?"
"You said, 'I would drink from you, that you would take my body whenever you pleased, that you would protect me, and teach me, and that for me there would only ever be you'. What you didn't tell me was why. Why, Eric. Why do you want me?"
In all of his thoughts as to how to get her, to keep her, to own her, he had never let himself consider why. Why had ceased to matter a millennia ago. The answer was always the same, because he could.
Now though, she had put that right in front of him and he paused to think. Why? Before Dallas, it was because he could. After Dallas, it was because…of Godric. Her time with him on that roof was a tie between the two of them, of him owing her…something. Something for doing what he could not, being there for Godric in his last moments. Showing him love when he could not. Eric had waited on the other side of the light tight door and listened to their words tears running down his face.
"A human with me at the end, and human tears. Two thousand years and I can still be surprised. In this I see God."
What could ever be enough to repay that?
"Because I owe you," he finally answered.
"Owe me for what?" Sookie was clearly surprised by his answer.
"For Godric." She waited a moment, thinking it over, trying to connect the dots and see it the way he did. Finally, she sighed, leaning back, crossing her legs and her arms.
"I want to say that doesn't make any sense at all, but when I put Gran in place of Godric and imagine how grateful I would be if I knew you had been there to hold her hand as she passed on, I reckon I would feel a debt of gratitude to you as well." She paused, looking at him, the soft light from inside illuminating his features. "If I am seeing this correctly, you see what you are offering me as a kindness, or a gift, right?"
He stepped back, his face suddenly inscrutable and his voice tight. "It is a gift! My protection, my blood! No one else has ever been offered this!" She could tell she had insulted his pride, which had not been her intention at all. She stood, moving toward him slowly.
"Why, Eric? Why 'only
ever you'? If I can accept what I see as slavery you see as a gift, what
does that have to do with 'only ever you'? If you are telling me the
pressed, eyes narrowing as she looked at him intently, "This ‘gift’ has already been paid for through my service to Godric on that roof in Dallas.
“Why could you not offer me these things and not make me a
slave, forcing me to pay further for what you tell me is already mine by right.
Why, Eric? Why 'only ever you'?"
She was flush against him, now. Having prowled right up to him, eyes locked with his. Again he recognized his body language, his aggressiveness and again it struck a chord but she was right there, and he couldn't disengage from the moment and retreat into his head. She was right there. Looking up at him, ready to pounce on the slightest change in his facial expression and press him to the truth.
His hands clenched at this sides as he reflexively leaned into her body, savoring her warmth, the feel of her soft flesh, willingly pressed to him. His fists floated to her face, one on each side cupping her cheeks, begging to open, that his palms might drink in the touch of her as well. He knew he was supposed to speak, but couldn't find the words to say.
Her hands came up and covered his fists on each side of her face. Their warmth making him shudder, and lean closer into her. Eyes locked with his, her hands over his started to emit a soft lavender light and he felt a tingle run up his arms. "Show me," she demanded softly.
He felt her enter his mind, and gasped for air at the shock of it. It wasn't telepathy, a simple reading of thoughts, a light fingering of the moments that made him who he was, it was soul jacking, cracking. It was what sex tried to be, a true joining where nothing could ever be held back or hidden.
No one had ever been this naked in the history of the world. He had once fantasized that he wanted her to know him, to know he played by the North Sea a child, to smell his memories. This is was that and more, so much more.
There was a moment of resistance, of instinctively pushing this new and frightening experience away and then he fully realized that she had just given him what he had always wanted.
His resistance faded and she was simply there with him.
"Tell me why, Eric," her voice in his mind was like
rain on the window, pelting and softly hypnotic. It was like silk on the skin,
sensuous and warm and perfect and he surrendered past ecstasy, past pleasure,
past all sense of self and let her come in.
She saw herself through his eyes, at Fangtasia with Bill for the first time, and felt his interest, his attraction to her. She saw all the things he would do with her body when he got her away from Compton. None of them surprised her, nor did her physical reaction to his thoughts. She was attracted to him, and she now accepted that.
If Eric had not been so lost in sensory overload from her presence inside him then he would have been able to feel her attraction to him as well, but this was too new, too visceral to separate her from himself. He assumed it to be his lust he felt.
She pressed on the seeing him the night the Maenad attack, his
desire increasing when she cleaned his clock over Lafayette in the basement.
His opening blatant expression of
desire that he perhaps he would "grow on her."
She pressed deeper, looking for something other than his desire to conquer and own her. Her pressing need to find something else belying her supposed disdain of his offer to her. If she hadn't wanted to believe it then she would have taken the first memory and claimed it proved her point.
Adjusting to this intrusion, Eric found his ability to reason returning to him. He was still unbelieving that she was doing this, whatever this was, but had found some small place to stand in his mind and reached out to her, wanting to help her find what she was seeking.
"Because of this," he said guiding her to the rooftop in Dallas. The sun was nearly up and he was being forced to walk away from his Maker. She took his hand, and said, 'I’ll stay with him, no matter how long it takes.' In that moment, that perfect moment in time when I could do so much, I could kill and rend and burn that fucking building to the ground, but I couldn't stay. I couldn't be there with Godric. That simple thing was beyond all my power. When I was powerless, you saved me."
He felt her nod in understanding. "Show me 'everything' between us as you offer it." It was a command and he had no choice but to open himself further to her.
He showed her the two of them together, bodies interlocked, straining, lost in passion. She looked ecstatic while he pounded into her body, fangs locked in her neck, her legs
around his hips. A collage of erotic images filled his mind and in turn hers, showing all the things that he longed to do with her body. She noticed that the setting for them looked familiar.
In one they were resting on white satin sheets, the hotel in Dallas, both naked and twined intimately. His kisses demanding she pay homage while he whispered to her that 'This is the beginning.'
Another showed them again in Dallas, this time on red sheets as
he leans over her on the bed, her fingers on his fangs as his eyes roll back in
ecstasy at her touch
just before he bites her offered neck. The faint memories tickled her sleeping consciousness reminding her that she had been present then with him in those impossible moments of everything.
Sookie was not a spectator in this theatre of Eric's mind. In
this intimate connection she felt his passion, his desire, his protective tenderness
toward her when he
imagined these things. She drank in his fantasy of coming to her in Jackson, and having her do pretty much what she was doing right now. Taking him. Making him hers. She too was in the moment, but at last she had some understanding of why her insistence that she was not human and why he should be hers was so disturbing to him.
It was a little too close to the secret heart of him.
Nodding her head, at once inside his mind and outside she made a
decision then herself.
Leaving his mind she took them into hers. She took him to the dream of him that she had the day after taking his blood for the first time.
"I used to think that you were made of cold hard stone, and empty inside."
"You're a big faker. You're deep. You feel. There's love in you."
"Only for Sookie."
"This is the beginning…"
She felt his shock and surprise at seeing how from there the images flowed into his memories of the dream. It was like finding out you weren't really at the beginning after all, but had come in somewhere in the middle and thought you knew the whole story.
She took him next her dream of coming to him after Godric had
burned. She walked him down the hall with her, letting him feel her sorrow, her
desire to comfort and share the
experience she had just had. She lets him feel her heart speed up when she realizes that Eric has left his door open for her, and her hesitation to enter, and her inability to leave
him mourning alone.
She let him feel how much she wants to offer him comfort, and
knows from her own experience with Bill after Gran, this was a pure offering of
the self. The only sacrifice worthy to heal such a broken heart. She knew when
she entered the door there was no comfort that she would not offer him. She let
him see her kiss his tear stained cheeks in
tenderness, and his desperate grab of her hand when he seemed to want nothing she had to offer, only to pull her back to him.
This was how she wound up on the bed, caressing his fangs, and allowing him to bite her. Again, surprise, though less this time. He could feel the truth of her and her of him.
Slowly, she withdrew from him. Pulling her mind back gently, the glow in her hands fading. She saw him blink and felt him move slightly, shifting away and then back to her again. She thought he wanted to run from her, and the invasion she had just committed. They were too far in to run now though. Her hands left his and moved to his neck as she pulled him down and kissed his forehead softly. It was a slow lingering kiss that then moved to his checks, as it had in the dream.
"I understand," was all she said her voice a little unsteady. She moved back and sat on the swing again, breaking the contact between them. "We seem to want the same thing," she began, a little surprised herself at the realization. "The problem is that we are nowhere near the water."
"I don't understand," he said moving to sit beside her.
"Your mind tells me that all the things you truly want from me, begin with the things that I want from you." He nods.
"And what do you want from me, Sookie?" She stands and
walks into the house. She is gone but a minute when she comes back out with a
bag that she has packed. She sets it
down, locks the door behind her and then turns to Eric.
"I want to leave Bon Temps with you, tonight." He jumped to his feet.
"You will live with me in Shreveport?" he asked excitedly.
"No, not now, and maybe not ever. I want you take me away
from here. Not just Bon Temps but Louisiana, hell, probably the US, but I will
leave that to you."
She picked up the bag and hung it over her shoulder, looking at him.
"Well, Northman, are you in or are you out?"