There was a warm breeze on Lisbon's neck. It came in short bursts, leaving a tingling sensation after each wave. She was nuzzled into something soft. Lisbon cracked her eyes open to see a pillow had been placed into her welcoming arms. But what was that breeze? She slowly looked over her shoulder, looking at the other side of the bed.
She jumped slightly in fright, when a certain blonde haired consultant's face, was pressed directly into her gaze.
She lay her head back on her pillow in confusion, Jane's warm breath returning to her neck. She lay there in a haze of uncertainty for a while. Why was he in her bed? After lying there contemplating about ten different reasons as to why her consultant was lying there with her, she felt a sudden temptation to watch Jane sleep. Silently and carefully, she turned over so she was facing him, their faces just inches apart. Jane was lying on top of her bed, his vest, jacket and shoes had been discarded to a neat pile on her floor. He had pulled a blanket out of the linen cupboard and was currently nuzzled into the fabric.
Lisbon looked at him in wonder. His face held the innocence of a sleeping child, all worry lines smoothed out into a peaceful demeanour. Lisbon had never seen him sleeping so soundly, he always looked fitful whilst sleeping on her couch at the CBI.
His hair was in a curled mess at the top of his head, and Lisbon couldn't resist the urge to run her fingers through his golden locks. She brushed some curls off his forehead before running her hand softly through the hair on the side of his head. He smiled when she did this. Her hand shot off his head as if she had been electrocuted, his smiling face made her think he had woken. He sniffled once before he snuggled back into the pillow. Lisbon lay there in shocked silence, before she realised he had been smiling in his sleep. She reached out again and started stroking him like a cat on the side of his head. His peaceful expression transformed into a lazy grin.
Lisbon lay there astonished, her hand still resting on his head. She had found Patrick Jane's calming factor. He who knows everything about someone just by looking at them, can hypnotise anyone, Mr cool demeanour… has a calming factor. It was almost too ridiculous to believe.
She removed her hand and lay back, staring at the ceiling, smiling. She felt she had finally gained a point against Patrick Jane. The thought actually made her feel a little excited. She felt Jane stretch beside her. He had rubbed his face of sleep and yawned before she had the courage to look at him.
"Morning Lisbon." He said rather cheerfully considering he was still slightly groggy, seeing as his body wasn't used to sleeping properly.
"Morning Jane." she said returning a small confused smile. She was still unsure why he was in her bed at this hour… or why he was in her bed at all.
He turned so he was on his side, propped up against his elbow, facing her.
"How are you feeling?" he asked gently.
It was then the memories of the previous night came back to her. She felt that all too familiar ache start to grow in her chest again.
"Yeah, better… I think. Tired." She replied.
"I can't imagine why." He said, a hint of sarcasm playing on his words.
"What do you mean?" Lisbon asked, slightly confused.
"Well, you were up all night vomiting the night before last… and you were quite… restless, in your sleeping last night."
"How do you mean I was restless?" she asked, hugging the pillow closer.
"Well, let's just say you didn't fall asleep with the pillow in your arms." Jane noted Lisbon still confused stare. "I never thought you to be a cuddler Lisbon." He grinned wickedly.
Lisbon stared down at the pillow horrified. She must have made a move on Jane in the night, and her modest "I'm going to sleep on top of the covers" consultant, must have thrust the pillow into her arms in place of him.
It was then Lisbon realised, that this must be the first time he had shared a bed with another woman, since his wife. His dead wife. His dead wife that he's still in love with and is still grieving for. Lisbon instantly felt bad and embarrassed.
Jane was watching the turmoil of thoughts going through Lisbon's mind.
"Lisbon, it's ok. It was nice… just slightly inappropriate." He winked at her.
"Jane if you were just trying to make me feel better… you did a really bad job." A thought crossed Lisbon's mind. "What are you doing in my bed anyway?"
This took Jane by slight surprise, but he managed to save himself just in time.
"Well, my dear Lisbon, clearly I am not actually in your bed, but merely on top of it. But the reason?" his voice grew a little softer. "I didn't want you to get sick in the night and be by yourself. You're by yourself too much."
She looked away from him.
"Lisbon?" he asked in a slightly concerned tone.
"Don't." she whispered.
He reached out and touched her shoulder.
"Teresa?" he spoke gently, his voice low and calm.
Lisbon shook her head. She gathered her legs in her arms and rested her chin on her knees. Her thoughts were rushing around inside her mind. He was getting to personal again. It had been over a week since she had found herself sitting by him on the couch at the CBI. She had told him that she was sick of being alone, and here he was bringing up the matter as if it had never been addressed before.
"Jane.. I know I'm by myself too much. I'm always by myself. We've had this conversation before."
Jane silently cursed. Now he remembered. It was the day after Lisbon had arrested Greer, his mind was still a little foggy around that time. Sleep deprivation maybe?
"Lisbon, I'm sorry…"
"No, Jane.. you don't need to be sorry. It's my own fault. I've been by myself from such a young age. Losing my parents so young, I learnt a different perspective on life. I learnt that the only person I can ever truly rely on is myself. So I focus solely on my job… if I had more free time… I feel I would spin off into an emotional breakdown. I can't let myself stop… I can't let myself see how lonely my life has truly become."
Jane hung his head. He knew Lisbon was broken, he just hadn't realised how bad she was. She was almost beyond fixing. Especially if she didn't beat this addiction. But so far so good… right?
"Teresa… you don't need to be alone. I'm here for you. Greer's here for you... I'm going to need help with Greer… you can help me."
Lisbon couldn't help the two tears that trailed down her cheeks. She hated lying to him.
"Lisbon, you once told me that we're a family. You are my family. I need you to know that I am here."
"Me, you and Greer.. we can build a proper life.. well as proper as we can. It will all work out… I promise."
Lisbon didn't know how to react. Here was her best friend, practically offering her a life… where he didn't have a life to offer her. He had no idea what he was going to find out soon, what he was going to lose.
"Jane.. stop. Please." She looked down, trying her best to keep the rest of her tears hostage.
"Teresa. You don't need to feel like this. You. Are. Not. Alone."
"Jane! Please stop!"
Lisbon stood up and walked away from the bed.
"I see what you're doing Lisbon."
She stopped dead in her tracks. Had he figured it out? About the cancer? The alcohol?
"You need to stop pushing people away. It's half the reason you're by yourself."
Lisbon turned around to face him, a death glare plastered on her face.
"You have no idea." She said coldly. "You don't know how hard I try." She wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "You overstepped a line there Jane. That one cut deep."
She was halfway out the door before Jane had reached her. He grabbed onto her arm gently, turning her to face him.
"Stop pushing me away."
"Stop pushing me away." She retorted.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, taking a step backwards.
"Jane, every personal thing I know about you, I have learnt from your file."
"That's not true." He whispered sadly. He had to have known she was only going to turn this around on him. It was Lisbon. She was amazing at avoiding unwanted conversations.
"Oh, yeah? Name one thing that you have told me. Not something I've learnt from someone else."
"I told you about my time spent in the hospital." He replied quietly.
"That's one thing. You're meant to be a friend, and yet… I know nothing about you."
"Lisbon, you only asked me to tell you one thing."
"Tell me another then."
Jane was silent for a moment, before he answered in a sad voice.
"I told you I would always be there for you. In that moment of our lives, I was most sincere. I meant it. And I still mean it now."
Jane stared into Lisbon's face. She folded her arms across herself in attempt to shield herself from his protective gaze.
She wanted to tell him about Greer. Here he was telling her how he was always going to be there for her… he had no idea what he was going to go through in the next few weeks. He had no clue as to how much he would be needing her. She could only hope that when the time came, and he found out she had kept this from him… that he could ever forgive her?
"Lisbon… I don't want to fight… I'm sorry. But really… that's why I was in your bed anyway… no funny business." He smiled then, and all was forgiven.
There was nothing like a Jane smile. His face lights up.. and all her worries seem to float away.
They moved back and sat on the end of her bed.
"I'm taking Greer to the carnival today… would you like to come?"
Lisbon mulled it over for a bit. She was pretty sure Greer would like some alone time with her father… and considering she was still meant to be getting over a stomach bug…
"Thanks Jane, but I think I might just hang out here today. I'm still not feeling one hundred percent and I think it would be a good idea for you and Greer to get out of the house. Greer hasn't exactly been outside a whole lot lately." She smiled nervously at him. She still wasn't sure if he had completely forgiven her for arresting Greer. But he only returned the smile.
"Ok Lisbon. You get some rest. I'll bring her back for tea, if that's alright?"
"Yeah that's fine Jane… would you like to stay for dinner tonight as well?"
He smiled at her nervous school girl expression.
"Sure Lisbon. That would be nice."
Jane and Greer arrived at the carnival just after noon. It had been a while since Jane had been to a carnival, and as soon as they got there, he had mixed feelings, of being an intruder in his old world… to feeling right at home. The smells, the sounds, the sights… everything was familiar to him.
Jane had dressed down from his normal three piece attire, leaving his vest and jacket at Lisbon's.
Greer took in her surroundings, a expression of delight plastered on her face. They walked side by side through the busy stalls, not saying a lot, but not needing to either. They seemed to be having their own silent conversation.
Jane ordered them both a hotdog and bottled water and they went and sat down at one of the many park benches.
"Tell me a bit about your childhood." Greer asked in between mouthfuls.
Jane looked at her amused. He already knew she had picked up on his familiarity of the place, it was only natural she would want to know more. He stared into her expectant face.
"Well, I grew up as a carny, believe it or not."
Greer smiled triumphantly.
"Ah-huh! I knew it. Which one?"
"Well… this one actually." He grinned nervously at her.
"Wow… does that mean you could introduce me to some of your friends and family?" she asked excitedly.
"Ahh… sure Greer… I don't see why not?"
They sat there in a friendly silence while they finished off their lunch. Greer, who seemed to eat a lot faster than Jane, relaxed back against the bench and took in her surroundings. There were mothers being dragged around by their children. There were children fighting with their parents and siblings over where they wanted to go next. There were couples walking hand in hand…
Greer glanced over at one of the stalls, where a sandy haired boy was looking at her. He was quite tall and looked about her age. He seemed to be one of the people who felt most comfortable here… almost as comfortable as Patrick looks… he must live with these people. Greer thought to herself. She smiled shyly at him, and he returned the grin with a little more confidence.
"Nature calls." Jane said, breaking her out of her trance.
"Sorry? What?" she asked him.
He smiled sheepishly at her.
"Oh… right." She felt like laughing hysterically for some reason.
She got up and followed Jane to one of the bathroom stalls.
"Be back in a moment." He almost sung. "Watch out for strangers."
She laughed at his disappearing back. As she turned around, she felt herself collide with something soft. She looked down to see a round midsection dressed in a pinstriped jacket. Directing her gaze upwards, the owner of the midsection and jacket was staring down at her. He looked neither friendly, nor unfriendly. He was wearing a black top hat and had a wirery black moustache.
"Oh.. pardon me.." Greer apologized.
"Oh! No need to apologize young lady!" he bellowed. "Just come and see my show later!" he exclaimed, producing a purple ticket, out of what seemed to be thin air.
Greer looked down at it. "The Trick of the Mind". Greer smiled to herself. This must be one of Patrick's associates. She looked up to see the man retreating towards one of the tents.
"Excuse me!" she called out to the man. He turned and looked at her, mischief in his eyes. "May I please have another ticket? It's for my father."
"Why of course, young madam!" he pulled out another ticket and gave it to Greer.
Greer ran forward and gave the man a hug.
"Thank you so much sir! You're so kind!"
He looked down in surprise.
"That's no problem." He winked at her, then disappeared into a tent.
Greer walked back to the bathroom stall to wait for Patrick. He walked out a few minutes later, drying his hands on his pants.
"Better?" she asked jokingly.
"Much." He said almost embarrassed. But hey.. he's only human. "Ok, so you wanted to meet some people?"
"I'd love that." Greer smiled widely.
They made their way through the crowd, stopping in a few tents. The third tent they went to they were greeted by an excited scream.
"Oh my lord! It cant be!"
Jane smiled a 'here I am' smile.
"It can't be my Paddy Jane!"
Jane walked over and embraced the lady in a family-type hug.
"Hello Linda. Long time no see." At that comment she poked him in the ribs. Jane jumped back with a high pitched ow!
"What was that for?" Jane whined, rubbing his sore rib.
"Long time no see indeed. I haven't seen you for nearly ten years boy!"
He stepped back, bowing his head slightly.
"I'm sorry Linda. A lot has happened since I saw you last."
"I know Paddy, I know."
Greer stood there watching the scene in front of her. Linda seemed to be telling Patrick off as if he were a child. She stifled a grin at Patricks apologetic face. He looked like he had been a naughty boy… broken the vase playing football in the house or something, and Linda was telling him off… the look on his face was ridiculous on a man his age. Her smile wavered slightly when she realised the attention had been turned onto her.
"Now who might this lovely young lady be?"
"Linda, this is my daughter."
A confused and sad look crossed Linda's face.
"But Paddy? Your daughter's―"
"―Greer. This is Greer." He cut her off.
She controlled her emotions a little before replying.
"Ohh! Paddy you have been a naughty boy!"
"Linda!" He laughed slightly, brushing off her blush worthy actions. "Linda, she's seventeen. I only met her a week or so ago."
"You remember Tracy Thomson?"
"Oh.. yes.. I do, I do! She was the 'friend' right?"
"So much for just friends!" she laughed.
"Linda." he warned.
Linda's laughing was only interrupted by a loud booming voice coming from the tent entrance.
"Paddy Junior! I thought that was you!"
Jane was at the other side of the tent in three strides, embracing the larger man.
Greer looked over and realised the man Jane was hugging was the same one she had bumped into earlier. Boris strode over to where Greer was standing.
"Now, this must be the young lady I've been hearing talk about." He smiled, digging around in his many pockets for something. He produced her cell phone out of his left pant pocket. Jane looked at the man angrily.
"When did you steal her phone?" he asked a little disgruntled, knowing full well he would have had to have taken it from her from close contact.
"Now, now, Paddy… I saw her with you when you went into the bathroom, she's the splitting image of you."
"Patrick, it's ok." Greer said, fishing around in her own pocket. She pulled out the man's wallet. "I'm not as naive as you think." She smiled victoriously at Jane, who looked absolutely bewildered. Bewilderment turned to pride.
"Ha! If she didn't look so much like you… you would have had to have been related somehow… she's just as devious as you!" Boris exclaimed happily. They traded items back to their rightful owners.
"Oh! There's Danny." Linda said.
Standing in the door of the tent, was the sandy haired boy Greer had seen earlier. They stared at each other, slightly mesmerised.
Linda, noticing the romantic interest between the two teenagers, carted Jane and Boris out the back to play a game of chess.
Before she knew it, Greer found herself on the Ferris Wheel with a complete stranger… but a handsome stranger at that.
They talked for a while, conversation coming easy. Greer told Danny how she went looking for her father, and how she only found Jane a week ago. Danny told her how he didn't know who his real parents were. He had been left on the side of the road as a baby, and the circus had picked him up. Linda had practically raised him. He told her he had met Jane a couple of times when he was younger but never really had got the chance to get to know him.
They stopped at the top of the Ferris Wheel and looked at each other. Greer noted that Danny had that look about him. She knew he wanted a kiss… and she was just as keen as he was. They lent in, only closing the distance for a small, sweet while. When they broke apart, Greer couldn't help but flush a deep red. The Ferris Wheel started moving again.
As they were getting off, Danny slipped something into her hand. He leant in and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, before departing back for the tent. Inside her hand was a purple piece of paper with his phone number on it. She felt a wave of pride rushed over her. She looked after him, but he had disappeared into the tent, she could see Patrick walking out, looking for her. She looked down at the paper and brought a hand to her forehead. She stopped dead in her tracks, a wash of self pity and anger raged through her. Her wig had been sticking to her forehead.
She wanted to scream.
Walking over to the nearest bin, she threw out the number. What did she need it for anyway? She wasn't about to drag anyone else down with her.
She saw Jane's smiling face walking towards her and felt instantly bad.
She was going to have to tell him soon. Teresa was right. The longer she waited. The harder it was going to be.
She took a few deep breaths, trying to compose her tears that threatened to spill over. She plastered a fake grin on her face and strode towards Patrick. He wouldn't be smiling for much longer.