PATRICK JANE'S DAUGHTER

CHAPTER 5

The next morning, Jane woke up from a restless sleep on his couch, with a sense of dread at the back of his mind. He missed his friend. He didn't like that they weren't ok at the moment. This needed fixing. Aside from himself, the bullpen was empty and he hadn't heard Lisbon leave last night. He got up, walked over to her office door and knocked quietly. No answer.

"Lisbon?" He called, knocking again.

Still no answer.

He reached out and tried the door. Locked.

"Hmm." He pulled a wire out of his pocket and quickly picked the lock. He opened the door to find Lisbon sitting at her desk, head in her hands, seemingly asleep. He walked over to her and gently started shaking her. "Lisbon?" he whispered.

She groaned groggily as her eyes fluttered open. It was then that Jane took in his surroundings. A half empty bottle of vodka lay on her desk, the glass, long forgotten, had rolled to the floor. There was a strong acidic smell swirling around the room, to which Jane located the puke in Lisbon's trashcan. It was then, he realised, she had drunk herself into a stupor and passed out sometime during the night.

"Oh, Lisbon. What have you done to yourself?" He kneeled to the ground so he was face to face with her. Looking into her eyes he could see her internal struggle. She was trying to hard not to cry in front of him. She wouldn't look at him. He realised then that it was his fault. He had driven her to purposely harm herself, when she had only been trying to help. "Lisbon, I'm so sorry. You were only trying to help… and I…" he broke off, looking at his feet. How is it that Greer had captivated him so entirely in such a small amount of time? He trusted Lisbon with his life. So why hadn't he trusted her with her judgements?

"Jane?" Lisbon whispered, lifting her head off the table. She shut her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger.

"Yes? What is it?"

"My head. Painkillers?"

"On it." He got up and made his way toward the kitchen. Opening the cupboard he found the bottle of Tylenol, he grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge, then made his way back to Lisbon. "Here." He said handing them over.

"Thanks." She couldn't look him in the eye. If she did, all would be forgiven, and she wasn't quite finished feeling angry with him. She popped a couple of pills into her mouth and downed half of the bottled water.

"Lisbon. I'm sorry. You had your reasons, and even if I didn't agree with them I shouldn't have treated you so harshly. I wouldn't have had the guts to get a paternity test without you initiating it. I sent my specimen to the lab… I know now that everything you've done… you've just been trying to protect me… I really am sorry." He sat on Lisbon's desk, trying to read her emotions.

"I know you are Jane. I was only trying to help… but I was being stupid. I just…"

"You missed me." Jane said cutting in.

"What… I… No! Don't be stupid."

Jane leant forward and put a hand gently on her shoulder.

"Hey it's ok. I get it. We're… partners. We have each other's back. And Greer showing up out of the blue… well I didn't think. I was so caught up on the possibility of having a family again, that I forgot I already had one."

It was then that Lisbon looked at Jane. She felt her stomach drop and she knew all was forgiven. They were both being stupid.

"I'm sorry too Jane. Ever since the night you got your memory back…" she paused making sure she wasn't treading waters she wouldn't be able to get out of. Seeing only a small flicker of remembrance in his eyes, she continued. "I've sort of felt protective of you." She was really starting to open up now. "I just don't want to see you get hurt. If this girl isn't your daughter… just know I'm here for you if you need to talk. Either way I know it's going to be hard for you adjust."

Jane smiled at her. He held out his right hand.

"Friends?"

Lisbon returned the smile, taking his hand in hers.

"Friends."

Both Jane and Lisbon felt as if a weight had been lifted off of their shoulders.

Jane stood up from the desk and made his way to Lisbon's couch. He patted the empty space beside him and Lisbon made her way over, plonking herself down beside him. She was starting to feel a little better.

"How long?" Jane asked.

"Sorry?"

"How long have you been drinking like this?"

Lisbon internally kicked herself. Of course he knew. Why would he think it was just a one shot when the vodka was already in her office. He had probably noticed she was paler than usual and she had lost weight, due to the lack of being able to keep food down. He was Jane. She sighed in defeat.

"Just after Bosco died."

Jane looked at her, slightly shocked. He knew she had been drinking, but he hadn't known how long it had been going on for.

"Lisbon…"

"Look I know! I've tried to stop… but I just can't." She was defeated. She decided that while they were sitting on this couch as friends rather than colleagues, she could open up a little more. "After my mom was killed, my father started drinking. I hated him for it at the time… sometimes he would drink so much, he would suffer fits of rage… and beat me and my brothers." Her voice was growing smaller with each word. She looked at Jane who gave her a supportive smile. He had her talking, and he wanted nothing more than for her to continue. "Anyway, as I said, I hated him for it at the time, but after Bosco died, and I started drinking, I started to relate to him more. I actually started to understand my father. I even began to forgive him. Drinking makes the pain go away. It makes me numb… it makes me forget."

"It's making you sick Teresa." He had decided to use her first name seeing as this was a personal matter. "You need help."

"I know I need to stop. At this rate I could lose my job. My liver probably hates me."

"I'm sure it does." Jane said with a slight chuckle, trying to lighten the mood a little. "I'm worried about you. Even before Greer came, I noticed something was off with you. What's going on? You can tell me." He smiled at her warmly, trying to encourage her to open up again.

"I'm ok. It's just…" She paused, unable to continue.

"Lisbon, remember that day I told you I would always be there for you? The day we did the trust fall?"

She nodded, remembering how he had made her turn around and let him catch her.

"I meant what I said, you can trust me Lisbon."

"I…" she sighed, resigned. "I guess I'm just sick of being alone."

"You're not alone Lisbon. You have friends here at the CBI. You have your brothers. Then there's Walter" she blushed slightly at the mention of the man she had slept with. "And then of course there's me. Whatever happens Lisbon, whenever you need me, I'll be there. Even if you're on the other side of the world, I'd get there just to help you." He looked into her eyes, making sure she knew he was serious. "You don't need to feel alone. The next time you feel like drinking, call me. Drive to my house. I'm going to be there to help you get through this."

"Thanks Patrick." She blinked, trying to restrain the tears that were threatening to spill over. He really was a sweet man. She would have loved to have met him before… well before Red John. When he wasn't so broken.

"And Lisbon?"

"Mmm?"

"Thanks for the other night… at my house. I'm sorry you had to see me like that." He said as if he knew what she was thinking.

"I'll always be there for you too."

He nodded, silent.

"Hey there's something I need to do… you mind making me some coffee?" Lisbon asked in hope of distraction her consultant.

"Ahh… sure." His blue eyes looked slightly confused, but he didn't push her.

"Thanks. I won't be long"

OOOOOoooooOOOOO

Greer was lying on her bed, reading a book when she heard a light knock at her door.

"Come in." she called, not looking up to see who it was. She felt like she was being held captive. She hadn't done anything wrong. Maybe it was a mistake her coming here. She was sneaky enough she could escape from this shoebox of a place. She could send someone here later on to do her bidding, say what needed to be said. But there really was only one thing keeping her here. Fear of regret.

Lisbon made her way cautiously into the room. She was almost surprised to see that the girl was still here. She really did look a lot like Jane. So if she was his daughter, why hadn't she figured out a way to escape yet?

"Hi." Lisbon said uneasily.

"Hi" Greer said looking up from her book when she realised who her visitor was.

"Look Greer…"

"Yeah I know. You're sorry"

"How… and why does everybody keep doing that?"

"Doing what?" Greer asked sitting up, a little confused.

"Everyone keeps finishing my sentences. Well not everyone.. you and Jane."

"Oh… I'm sorry."

Lisbon took a seat at the single chair next to the little table.

"You're not the one who should be saying sorry. I know you think you know that I'm sorry, but I don't think you realise how much. I was wrong to jump to conclusions so fast. Jane does that all the time… analyses the murder victims to find out more about them." She added, seeing Greer's confused stare. "I guess I resented you a little."

"Resented me? Why would you resent me? I'm nothing but a stupid little girl trying to find her father. It was a hopeless mission from the start. Either I wasn't going to find him… or I was just going to cause trouble and interrupt his life."

"You just seem to understand him. I've known him for a few years now. I've read his file. We're meant to be friends but I just can't seem to figure him out. He's a closed book."

"Maybe your just reading the wrong pages."

Lisbon smiled at the girl.

"Maybe I am."

"Agent Lisbon?"

"Um… you can call me Teresa if you want to… sorry about the formalities earlier."

"Ah, ok. Teresa… when can I see Patrick again?"

Lisbon sighed and looked at her feet.

"I still don't think it would be a great idea for you to see him again until the results come back. I'm sorry."

"You're just looking out for a friend I guess."

"Yeah… that's exactly what I'm doing. It's nothing personal."

"Anymore…" Greer said smiling again.

Lisbon smirked. She got up to leave.

"Teresa?"

"Yes Greer?"

"Tell Patrick I say hi, and whatever happens, he's not obliged to do anything. I don't expect anything from him, I only wanted to meet him."

Lisbon shifted uncomfortably.

"Ok, I'll tell him."

Before Greer could say another word, Lisbon stepped out of the room. She felt as if a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders, but at the same time she felt remorse creeping into her bones. She had been horrible to this girl. What if she really was Jane's daughter? She had been rude to her from the get go. Hell, she had bloody arrested her. Jane may be able to forgive her, but she was never going to be able to forgive herself.


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