Perfect To Me
It's weird, really. Standing in front of my boyfriend's house with my mom, waiting for him to open the door. I'm half-expecting his father's face to show up after the door opens, but nothing happens. I look at my mom. She doesn't wear dresses, at least I don't remember the last time she wore one, but now she has a skirt. Well, at least it's not a bathrobe and sunglasses, maybe she wants to impress Blaine's mom. She's really trying to get better, I have to admit that.
"Carson," she says, looking at me. I look at her like what? And then it hits me when she looks at the door. I haven't even rung the bell yet.
"Oh, right." I smile a bit and press the little button next to the door. It rings. Then I hear footsteps from inside, coming from upstairs. Blaine.
When the door finally opens and I see my boyfriend's smiling face, I grin myself and hug him as tight as possible. "Hi," he laughs and pulls away, shaking hands with my mom.
"Hello, Blaine." She smiles at him.
"Welcome, Ms. Phillips," he greets her and leads us inside. Then he closes the door behind us. It's been twelve days since I've been here and it looks exactly the same. Only it's much more comfortable here now that I know there's no crazy poor excuse of a father waiting upstairs.
We enter the living room and Blaine's mom greets us happily. She has long beautiful green dress and long, wavy, dark brown hair, just like Blaine. She comes to me and my mom and shakes our hands. "Kurt, Ms. Phillips, I'm so happy you accepted our invitation." She smiles excitedly.
"Me too, the last time I was here was two weeks ago." I say. Blaine's mom's smile wavers a little bit and then I realize how inappropriate my comment was. It only reminded her of her husband, but in a second it's gone and she's nodding and smiling again.
"I'm Pamela by the way." She smiles at my mom.
"Sheryl," my mom replies.
"Come on, I'll show you the kitchen," Pamela says and takes my mom away. Blaine grins at me and I grin at him, we're alone in the room now.
"See?" I say. "Your dream came true." I smile at him and he nods and comes closer to me.
"It did," he says. "Now all we have to do is make your dream come true. I really think you'd be a great journalist in New York Times." He smiles at me and hugs me. I hug him back and bury my head in his neck, even though he's shorter than me. It just doesn't matter.
"Thank you." I breathe in and breathe out, enjoying every minute of it.
"I love you." He smiles.
"I love you too," I laugh and close my eyes, hugging him tighter. Then we slowly pull apart and join our moms in the kitchen.
"...really can't believe I married that man." We hear Blaine's mom telling my mom.
"I had the same luck in men, believe me, mine left me with a kid." My mom says. "And I was drunk ever since, almost 24/7." She adds.
"That's horrible." Blaine's mom agrees. "I honestly can't wait until we get divorced."
"You know, he visited me a few weeks ago." Sheryl says. "Only because he wanted me to sign the divorce papers." They both laugh and then they notice us.
"Oh, hello boys," Pamela asks us. "Kurt, do you want anything to drink? Juice, lemonade, coca cola..."
"Um, lemonade's fine." I smile.
"Okay," she says and opens the fridge, pulling out a bottle of freshly bought lemonade. Then she gives me a glass, pouring the lemonade in it. "Here you go." She smiles at me.
"Thanks." I answer.
"Sheryl?" She turns to my mom. "Wine?" She asks then. My mom looks at her and then at me and slowly shakes her head.
"No, thank you." She says. "I've been drinking wine since I can remember... or can't remember. I'll take lemonade too."
"As you wish." Pamela says and gives her some lemonade as well.
"Dinner is almost ready," she informs us. "It'll only take about twenty minutes and we can eat."
We all nod and then Blaine's suddenly takes my hand. "I guess, we'll be upstairs." He smiles at me and I smile back.
"Okay, honey, but I don't have to tell you that we don't want to hear anything suspicious, okay?" She looks at her son and he rolls his eyes.
"Mom," he groans and then quickly leaves with me in tow. I can't help but giggle a bit. As soon as he closes the door behind me, he smiles. "Welcome back to my room," he says.
"I've been here before." I say, laughing.
"I know," he looks at me. "I know. I just... all the memories, you know? Good and bad." Then he stands next to his bed and lets his body fall down into the soft blanket. "Argh." He groans. "This honestly feels so good.
I laugh and fall into his bed right next to him with my mouth against the bed. "hou'so highth." I mumble.
"What?" He laughs, leaning on an elbow, facing me. "I turn around to lie on my back instead and smile. "I said you're so right." I answer and close my eyes.
Suddenly there's a shadow over my head and I open one eye. Blaine's head is filling my whole view with his broad smile and dreamy gaze. "This is where we said I love you for the first time." He whispers.
I raise my hand and brush my fingers against is cheek. "It is." I whisper back. "The most perfect moment, remember?"
He laughs and nods his head. I look into his eyes and then at his lips. God they look so delicious, as always. He looks down at my lips too and I feel my heartbeat speeding up. How can he still make me feel like this after all we've been through together? After everything?
Then he finally leans down and I close my eyes as our lips touch. It's a slow and tender kiss and it feels like heaven. It feels right, like I'm exactly with the right person that I was always meant to be with. It makes me remember how much I love him. How much I care about him as I kiss him back.
I turn us around so he's under me this time as I deepen the kiss and put my fingers on his face. I'd put them in his hair, but I know he wouldn't want me to ruin his gelled hair, and his mom would notice of course. Instead, he puts his fingers in my hair and kisses me harder.
"Boys!" We hear his mom from downstairs and we immediately jump from each other. "Silence is suspicious too, you know?" She yells and then we hear her continue talking to my mom.
We both roll our eyes. "Damn," Blaine laughs. I start laughing too and fall back on top of him.
"At least a few minutes with my boyfriend." I smile and kiss him one more time on his lips. Then I stand up and look at the clock. "We still have at least fifteen minutes." I say and look at Blaine, who's still lying on his bed.
He's smiling at me. "What?" I say.
"Still wanna learn how to play piano?" He asks, smiling like a lunatic.
I laugh and take his hands, helping him stand up. "I'd love that!" I smile and hug him again. He smiles and leads me to his piano in the corner of the room. He puts there another chair and lets me sit closer to the middle of the piano.
"These," He points at all the black and white keys, "are keys." I chuckle.
"Yeah, that's pretty much all I know." I tell him. He smiles.
"Okay, so the white ones are for the... um... 'normal' tones and the black ones are sharps or flats." He says. "Every sharp increases a note's pitch by half a step, and every flat lowers a note's pitch by half a step." He points at the black keys. Then he points at some random white keys, saying,"except these keys." I'm sure he knows which key it is. "E and F because F is already 'sharpened' E, there's only half a step between them, and that means that this is actually not-"
"Whoa wait... wait," I stop him. "That's too complicated and we don't have time for this. "I say, looking completely lost, and that's exactly what I am. "I've no idea what you're talking about." I say. "I don't understand anything you just said, it's like a different language for me."
He sighs and smiles. "Sorry, I got a bit carried away." He looks at me and then at the piano. "Here," he says and takes my hands. "Put them here." He puts my hands on the piano's keyboard, Three fingers of each hand on some keys.
"What am I supposed to do," I ask.
"Press." He smiles at me and I press my fingers down on the keys. It seems unbelievable, but it makes the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. I start grinning and pressing the keys again and again. Blaine laughs. "What is this? What am I playing?" I ask, excitedly.
"Um, it's just a C chord." He smiles. "Look, with left hand you're holding C, E and G and with your right hand you're holding G, C and E."
"I have no idea how can you know which keys am I holding when they all look the same, but it sounds beautiful." I laugh.
"Wait for this." He smirks and I put my hands away. He puts his own hands on the piano, each finger on a different key and then he looks up at me. "Put your fingers on top of mine." He says.
"Just do it, you'll see." He says and after he gives me a reassuring smile, I do what he wants. With each my fingertip I touch his fingernails, until my hands are positioned exactly on top of his. Then he slowly starts playing, and where his fingers go, so go mine.
Wait, I know this melody. "Is it..." I start hesitantly and listen some more. Blaine doesn't sing, but the melody is so familiar. Almost like a... I gasp. "Is it Teenage Dream?" I ask.
He smiles and continues playing. "Yes it is," he says. It sounds so beautiful. Then he starts to hum quietly and then the humming turns into words and he's singing. I smile. This song warms my heart, it's the first one he's ever played for me. I can still remember how nervous he was back then.
I put my head on his shoulder and close my eyes, just listening and feeling with my fingers every Blaine's move. It's so calming, just listening to him. His whole neck vibrates and I feel like I could just fall asleep like this.
We continue like this for a couple more minutes, playing every song Blaine knows and that he wants to sing to me. Then suddenly his mom opens the door to Blaine's room.
"Dinner is ready." She announces and smiles at us as I slowly lift my head from his shoulder and Blaine stops playing. Then she disappears and we follow her downstairs.
My mom's already sitting at the table, waiting for us to arrive. There are four plates with food and four glasses with lemonade bottle on the table in the middle, next to a little flower in a tiny vase. The plates are full of food and it smells delicious as I sit down, Blaine next to me.
"It's a Bourbon chicken." Blaine's mom says. "My mother used to do this once a month and we all fell in love with it. It's basically just rice and pieces of chicken meat with soy sauce."
Then we all start to eat, finally. Honestly I was really getting hungry and this food is really great. "It's awesome, Ms. Anderson." I say.
"Thank you," she smiles at me. "It's a Chinese food."
After we finish, we all settle around in the living room, while Pamela brings us cake as a dessert. Everyone gets one piece on a little plate. Mom is sitting in an armchair and Blaine's mom on a normal chair. I and Blaine are sitting impossibly close to each other, on a sofa in the middle of the living room.
"Carson," my mom says and I look up. "I'm happy you got into Northwestern, but as you know I didn't want to stay behind, alone in Clover." I nod. What is she suggesting?
"And me neither." Blaine's mom says, looking at both of us. "You guys want to move into your own apartment, right? You want to live together?" She asks then.
"Well, yeah." Blaine, answers, then he looks at me and I nod. "Is it a problem?" He looks back at his mom.
"No, no, it's not. You boys are already grown ups." She smiles. "I'm okay with whatever you decide as long as you're both happy." She added and looked at my mom.
"But we want to come with you." My mom says.
I almost choke on the cake. "What?" I ask, looking at both of them.
"Well," Pamela starts talking again. "You and Blaine are going to be gone. And I don't want to stay here alone, Sheryl doesn't want either, so we decided to go with you, and buy a house on our own."
"So you'll live together?" Blaine asks.
"Yeah, we don't have enough money to afford two houses." my mom says.
"And what about the money grandpa left us?" I ask. I know he left me a car and my mom got a lot of money. She's practically rolling in it.
"Your literary magazine and your new apartment doesn't leave enough for two other houses." She explains. "Even with Pamela's money." Well, that's true, she gave me money for my literary magazine and how can I and Blaine afford our apartment without our parents' money? We certainly don't have enough on our own.
"So you both are okay with it?" Pamela asks, looking at us. I look at Blaine and Blaine looks at me.
"Yes, okay." Blaine smiles. "At least we can visit each other."
Another half an hour later, and we're talking about everything. School, the past, future, everything Blaine and I like, even about Glee. And I must say, Blaine's mom's really nice, and I don't doubt she was telling the truth when she said she supports her son. And our relationship. She seems happy that I and Blaine are together.
I don't even know how, but suddenly we're all talking about Blaine and Glee and his singing club at his old school.
"Yeah, he joined some kind of Glee up," Blaine's mom says. "And he's really good, just last night he was singing in his room and playing the piano." She says. I laugh as I see Blaine's blushing.
"Mom," he says, but she just looks at him innocently.
"What? It's true." She says and I laugh again. Blaine looks at me and suddenly he smirks. No, that doesn't look good, what does he want to do?
"Did you know that Kurt sings really well too?" He says. No. He wouldn't dare. I look at him and I make sure that my expression says exactly what the fuck do you think you're doing? He just smiles at me innocently, exactly like his mom did just a minute ago.
"Oh, really?" Pamela asks, smiling at me. I awkwardly smile back. Blaine starts nodding.
"Yeah, he's a countertenor." He smiles. Blaine's mom nods, but my mom looks confused. Blaine looks at her and explains. "That means he has a really high voice," he says and my mom smiles at me. Yeah, basically I sound like a girl.
"I'd love if you two could sing a duet." My mom suddenly says and I freeze. When has everyone here decided to kill me by humiliation?
"Well, we can!" Blaine says enthusiastically. "Just give us a second." He smiles and takes my hand, dragging me upstairs. I barely have enough time to put my plate with the cake on the table, before I'm suddenly in his room again.
I immediately run to his bed and fall in it. "I can't do it, Blaine." I mumble. I feel his hands on my waist and he turns me around, making me look at him.
"Of course you can, Kurt, I've heard you sing and you sing like an angel!" He smiles at me and I close my eyes, covering them with my hands.
"But only to you, Blaine. That's the problem." I take a deep breath. He slowly takes my hands away and kisses me on the lips briefly.
"I believe in you, Kurt." He smiles down at me, making me smile too. "Try to believe in yourself for a few minutes."
"O-okay." I sigh. He climbs off of me and grabs my hand. Then he quickly goes to his table and pulls out at least ten different papers with notes and lyrics.
"These are all duets," he points at them. Yeah, that makes sense, the papers are all in a little file called Duets For Kurt. I smile at him.
"You were collecting duets for me?" I ask. He looks at me and smiles.
"Yeah," he says. "I hoped one day we could sing them together." I sigh and sit back on the bed. He sits next to me and gives me one paper.
"Do you know this one?" He asks. It's called Candles.
"No," I sigh.
"And this one?" It's called Animal.
"Nope," I answer. This is so pointless. There are at least eight other songs that he shows me. So many names, Baby it's cold outside, Come What May, Let It Snow (but that one is some jazz version I don't know), Just Can't Get Enough, and others and others.
Blaine goes through all the papers and then I suddenly stop him. "Wait, I know this one."
"What, Perfect?" He asks. I nod.
"Great!" He smiles. "This one's amazing, and I can play it on the piano!" He laughs.
"Do you really think I can do it?" I ask one more time.
He looks at me and smiles. Then he leans closer and kisses me, and then he looks into my eyes. "I know you can do it." He whispers.
"Okay," I whisper too.
"Do you know the lyrics?" He asks and I nod. "Perfect." We both laugh a bit. He takes a yellow highlighter from his table and marks those parts of the lyrics that I'm supposed to sing. The rest is for him to sing. Then he sits to the piano and tries to play it one time, and then he smiles at me. I smile back. I try to sing a little and then he, and I have to admit, it doesn't sound that bad. I just hope I won't screw up.
Not even two minutes later, my mom with Blaine's mom are already standing in the doorway, waiting for the song. I must look really nervous because Blaine tugs at my t-shirt, making me look down at him. "Just look at me when you sing." He whispers. I nod.
Blaine slowly starts playing and I look at him. Just a few seconds and I'm gonna start singing, oh God. Three, two, one-
Made a wrong turn once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
It's not so hard when I keep looking at Blaine. Blaine smiles at me, still playing the song without mistake and then he starts to sing.
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good'
It didn't slow me down.
Mistaken, always second guessing
Underestimated, look I'm still around
And then we both start singing.
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me
Honestly, now that I think about it, we sound pretty awesome together. I can't stop smiling while I sing, and I completely forget about my and Blaine's mom, this is about us, not about them.
I start singing again and Blaine repeats everything I sing, like an echo. It sounds amazing.
You're so mean (you're so mean)
When you talk (when you talk)
About yourself. You were wrong.
Change the voices (change the voices)
In your head (in your head)
Make them like you instead.
So complicated, Look happy, You'll make it
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game
It's enough, I've done all I could think of
Chased down all my demons
I've seen you do the same (Ohh ohhhhhhh)
The song is almost ending, but suddenly I really, really don't want it to end. I wish this moment could last forever.
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me
The song ends and I hear my mom and Pamela clapping their hands, but I don't care. I'm grinning at Blaine and after he stops playing, he looks up at me. He grins too and then we hug, laughing. "I did it!" I laugh into his ear.
"I told you!" He smiles and then I let go of him, taking his hand instead.
"You were incredible!" Blaine's mom says, still clapping her hands. "Carson, you're so talented!" She smiles at me, I try to ignore the blush I feel on my cheeks.
"He is," my mom smiles at me. I smile back.
"Thank you." I say and bow a little. Then I look at Blaine, who's still smiling at me, holding my hand.
"Seriously, don't you want to join Glee club too?" Blaine's mom suddenly asks. I grow silent. I don't know, should I? I mean, it was fun singing here with Blaine, but to join an actual club? I look at Blaine, and he nods, smiling. I smile back and then shrug.
"Why not," I smile at our moms. "I'll join." I answer and Blaine throws his arms around me. And in that moment that he hugs me, I know I won't regret my decision.