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The Host Club's Misery Business

By Jordan Timity

Humor / Romance

Apparently that's my Job

It's been about a week since I transferred to Ouran, but it doesn't take long to rack up ten million yen debt. Any other club I wouldn't have a problem with, but the Host Club is not just any club. These jack-asses didn't even know I was a girl until the end of the day as their "dog", well except for one who used basic biology, Adams apple vs. none. But overall he's still an idiot. I was just on my way to the club room when the club's other victim… I mean… yeah pretty much a victim, passes be by in a hurry, "Oh, sorry Riku, I was just studying in the library and completely forgot about the club", Haruhi gave a winded explanation. "Not going to be the last time, why don't we just go together", I already knew Haruhi's "secret", again biology, apparently she had two million less than me so I was going to have to work harder at this than she was.
But when we opened the doors, they were all shirtless in some kind of tropic. Haruhi pulled out some pocket calendar to check if it was still early spring while I went over to Kyoya to see what was going on, knowing he's the one running the show, "I have no power when it comes to deciding themes, but I can admit to slipping a Bali photo book on Tamaki's desk", he's just full of crap today. The costumers were getting worked up about an event the Host club is… hosting, I could barely hear the details moving around so much doing the "chores" they have me doing.
The club closed for the day and everyone was still talking about the dance and Haruhi doing something, "Either you and Riku must learn formal dancing by the end of the week or you will be knocked back down to errand boy", Tamaki declared overdramatically, "Also if you fail Riku your debt will be doubled", Kyoya added. "I figured at least one person shouldn't be dancing to actually run the party", I reasoned weakly trying to avoid dancing; Kyoya thought it over and agreed only that I had to make the party go off without a bag. Easy enough.
The next day the club was closed to let Haruhi learn dancing with Miss. Kasugazaki, I was busy booking the salon and Tamaki was being Tamaki. I don't know why these guys insist on me doing everything, I signed for the new tea sets and noticed Miss. Kasugazaki getting nervous around the delivery guy, who happened to be a student leaving to study abroad. Later Kyoya told me that he was her fiancé, not that don't I care about her pre-marital problems , which I don't, but I had a party to plan and a suit to get.
After I finished cleaning I walked home with Haruhi since we both live in the same complex, too bad I'm the one who ends up taking my "work" home with me. I come home to an empty apartment as usual because my brother works late, so I end up doing the shopping, cooking, and just about anything you can think of. On top of that I had the music selection to put together and I still needed a suit, not that I could actually buy one with my brother around, he might not do much around the house but he's not a dumb-ass. I might have to barrow one for that night but I'm not sure anyone's my size. But that's the least of my concern.
After the weekend the club ran as normal but I could tell they were hiding something, if they plan on sabotaging me, I swear to God, I will kick their oriental-asses. One way to tell their hiding something is they try to be even more annoying, calling me over to clean up after their guests, Kyoya telling me to go over the numbers for the party again, and just making a mess so I can clean it up. I can't wait for this dance to be over already so I can go back to my less than hellish reality.
I ended up borrowing a suit from the twins, tacky as hell but it's better than nothing. Everyone in the club (including me) was arraigned on the steps in order of age; I was left of Haruhi because I'm fourteen (I skipped a grade). Tamaki introduced a dance competition where the winner would get a kiss on the cheek from him and with that announcement I saw some girls faint, I'd have to call the nurse later. Haruhi said something about sushi and instantly had the whole club fawning over her, something's I'll never understand. The party officially started and all the Host's had a dance partner with several waiting in line, I was the one actually… hosting the party and asked if everyone was having a good time, I stopped to survey the buffet and noticed the fancy tuna was gone as well as all hosts.
The guests were starting to complain and threatening to leave, I didn't care what they were doing at this point, their asses were mine. I looked almost everywhere in the salon and the kitchen but I couldn't find them, I finally check in the hallways outside the salon and there they were. "What do think you're doing, the guests are starting to-", I paused in shock to see Haruhi in a dress, wig, and full make-up, "I don't even want to know, just get your asses back to the party", with that the rest of the hosts went back into the salon to conclude the party.
I thought I had nothing to worry about since all the host's come back but just as soon as they did Tamaki disappeared. None of the host's would tell me where he went, like right now is the best time to play games, the guests are complaining, I'm about to be their slave until I graduate, and the party's going to be an epic fail. Yah, great timing guys. I was about to flip my lid-scratch that- my lid was flipped a long time ago, now I'm straight-up pissed, but by that time Haruhi was back in her suite and Tamaki had returned out on the balcony. I joined them as they were about to announce the last waltz and the winner of the competition.
I was too exhausted to even pay attention to the last waltz, as long as I'm indebted to them, these guys were going to give me hell I was curtain. Even if I was tired I woke up when they announced the winner of the kiss, by Haruhi! I wonder whose plan that was. An already pissed-off Tamaki plus the knowledge that this is her first kiss equals running after her, only to push her into the other girl's lips instead. Well I guess that's "their job", thank God I'm not a host.

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