You know the feeling when you just feel you don’t belong someplace but have no choice but to be there? no? I do. I’ve been to this place for the last two months for my summer, a very hot and tedious summer.
Tomorrow I’m going back to school. I miss Hogwarts, it had been my home for 4 years and from tomorrow I will be starting my 5th year. We are still in Grimmauld Place, it’s the headquarter of the Order of Phoenix. Well, I am not in the Order because I’m just fifteen and a Slytherin, Obviously. And here nearly everyone was or is in Gryffindor. That doesn’t make me feel any different because I’ve known here everyone for my entire life. The Weasley kids were my best friends before I started school. As I’ve already told you, we drifted apart after I was sorted into Slytherin. We don’t bond here that much either. Harry, Ron, and Hermione just keep to themselves most of the time, whispering. Apart from that, they are nice to me. I assume they have understood by now that I’m no evil.
Dad had me stay here because he was busy with the Order’s work and no one was at home with me. And with You-Know-Who back everyone’s scared and tensed so no wants to be alone because it’s not safe. We’re not sure if he’s really back. Harry says he is because he fought him last year, My dad believes him and so do I. Harry’s been my friend from our first-year as we were paired as partners in potions.
I can’t wait to get back to Hogwarts.
I stop writing. I look up at the clock it displays the time half-past seven. I have to go downstairs for dinner. I hear a knock on the door and stand up to answer it.
" Hey, Harry,”
He steps inside looking nervously at me. He’s wearing a light blue shirt and his bright green eyes were shining through his round glasses. He looks sort of cute. When I saw him the first time after listening to so many stories about him, I had a terrible crush on him. I liked him like he was some celebrity but when I got to know him during potions lessons. I found out that he was just as normal as me. He was so simple and wanted to live a normal life like everyone else. And then I liked him even more until he rejected me for the Yule Ball. He said he really liked some girl and wanted to ask her.
I don’t hate him or anything but I had a reputation to hold and was hurt when he denied coming with me. I thought he liked that Gryffindor girl, Parvati or the Padma whoever he went to the ball with. But they were not Harry’s type. That hurt me.
“Mrs Weasley asked me to call you for dinner.” He said stepping into the room.
“Thanks, I’ll be down in a moment,” I tell him closing my diary and keeping the quill beside it.
“Yeah, right.” He says turning to leave but stops. “You write in a diary ?” he asks
“Yeah, Sort, of, ” I say. He or anyone for that matter doesn’t know about my secret diary. It’s the most valuable thing to me.
“Eva, I’m sorry for ignoring you,” he says and I feel my cheeks heat up and I start feeling embarrassed. “I’m not very good at how this girl and boy thing works. I am far away from all that. You know that, don’t you?” he says, I can see how nervous he is and it’s cute. “Why are you smiling?”
“Am I?” I say not realising I was smiling like a fool, “Sorry, I was thinking about something, you were saying?”
“I just want us to be like before, friends.”
“We are friends, Harry. I never said I’m that hurt. I was just another girl crushing on you. It’s totally fine and I’m over it. You know I have a boyfriend too.” I tell him and mean it. I am totally over him. My crushes are like seasons, they come and go. But Harry was a different case.
“Right. Theodore Nott.” He says not sounding pleased at all. I know he doesn’t have a soft spot about Slytherins. Dad does not like him either.
“Yeah.” I want this conversation to be over. I hate talking about my boyfriend with anyone except my best friends who are in Slytherin.
“Brilliant!” he says standing up from my bed. “We should get to dinner.”
“Sure” He waits outside my room until i’ve kept my diary safely in my trunk.
We walk downstairs to the dining hall. Fred and George Weasley are sitting at the far end of the table discussing something quietly. Sirius, Mr Weasley and My Dad are talking about the ministry of magic. Harry takes a seat beside Ron who’s polishing his new broomstick, a gift for being made a Prefect of Gryffindor house.
Two weeks before I also got her Prefect badge for Slytherin house. I thought that I could get the badge. Dad was very happy as he was also a Prefect in his school time.
“Eva, what are you doing there? Come sit.” Sirius calls me. I have come to know Sirius well this summer. When I sat alone reading books he kept me company. He was in Azkaban all this time so Dad hadn’t told me anything about him until I came to know the truth when it was a full moon and I had to transform.
He was a good person, and funny too, in my opinion. And he was my Dad’s school best friend. Harry’s dad, James was also their friend until Lord Voldemort killed him and his wife.
I took a seat beside Sirius, giving him a small smile. The dishes were rattling, as Hermione and Mrs Weasley prepared to serve dinner.
“Are you excited about your fifth year Eva,?” Mr Weasley asks me, folding his hands over his chest as though he was about to interview me.
“Yeah, I am. I hope it should be a great year.” I say looking up from my fingers at Mr Weasley and giving him a small smile. He looks convinced by my reply and continues;
“Yes and you are now a Prefect, you have to be more responsible now.” He says brightly, “You too Ron and Hermione.” Ron looks up looking puzzled, he was too busy in his broomstick to notice anything but nods nonetheless.
Mrs Weasley then comes with our plates and starts serving us dinner, I stand up to help her. She smiles at me warmly and hands me the bowl of treacle tart.
“Eva, I want to have a word with you. Come with me,” he says standing up and straightening his shabby robes as everyone was done with dinner and were just having a discussion about ministry’s not-so-supportive schemes.
We go upstairs into the second landing, where dad opens a door in which SIRIUS is engraved. It is a big room compared to any other room in the house. It looks ancient, and Sirius’s school stuff is still here, his books, Gryffindor banner, and posters of bikes and muggle girls. His room looks untouched for quite a time. Probably Kreacher doesn’t clean his room as much as he pretends to clean the whole house.
“This is Sirius’s room?” I ask Dad looking around as I took everything in. I graze over my fingers on the shelves and it confirms that Kreacher actually doesn’t clean Sirius’ room. I have this huge urge to clean every corner of this room.
I’ll do it after the talk.
“Yeah, it is. Sit down.” He takes a seat on the bed and motions me to sit on the armchair across from it.
“What is it, dad? You wanted to talk about?” We kind of have this kind of “Talk” once in a while. He advises me about our werewolf nature and how to keep it lowkey. I actually get it by now, I have learned to control it and I know how to turn by will not just on a full moon. I can take out my claws and fangs at will. But it doesn’t help it that I sometimes have no control over me on the full moons. But wolfsbane potion helps a great deal.
I have had lectures about being safe and not let it slip no matter what.
I do a pretty great job at it. No one knows about me except professor Dumbledore and professor Snape, who makes me wolfsbane potion every month.
“Listen, Honey, I want you to know some information.” He says and he looks pretty serious and concerned. I nod, he proceeds
“You are my only family. And I trust you with my life Eva, but here people in the order don’t believe you as much as I do.”
I know that quite well actually. I have noticed their behaviour around me. When I step in the room they stop talking and look at me as though I have two heads. I know they don’t want anything to be slipped out, they’d be in danger if it did. But i’m not their enemy if that’s what they think of me.
“Yes Dad, I know that.” I nod, “You can tell me anything, you know I won’t do anything to let you down.”
“You know what I talk about before your school start?”
“Yeah...I know.” I state.
“And I want you to know that nothing is safe anymore after Voldemort...Be safe. Be careful. Be clandestine.”
“Okay. I will be. Don’t worry ”
“You can’t let anyone know what you are. You don’t want to end up in Fenrir Greyback’s pack!”
“The one who bit you?”
“Yes and you are a werewolf too and pretty powerful and controlled of their condition so he might try something, And you are a very bright witch too. He would be tempted for you to be on his side. Especially to please Voldemort.”
“And I am tempted to kill him,” I mutter, not wanting him to hear because dad is kind of sensitive and fearful about the werewolf thing. He blames himself for passing down his condition to me. But I don’t have any problem with that. It makes me different from others and I like that.
“I heard that.” He says,
“I won’t let him do anything to anyone I care about.” I declare fiercely.
Dad chuckles without any humour in his voice, “That’s what I’m talking about. This determination will get you in trouble. Just don’t do anything stupid until it’s all over. Stay away from trouble.” He says and stands up as we hear a knock on the door. The door opens revealing Tonks.
Tonks is as far as nice. She’s brave and loyal to the Order but I think she kind of does childish things to entertain when Ginny asks her to. She always tries to make conversation with me even though I know she knows I’m not interested. She acts as she cares about me. But I know she does that just because she likes Dad.
“There’s a meeting down in a minute. Everyone’s here.” She tells my dad and turns to look at me with a bright smile, “All right there, Eva?”
“Never better,” I reply in a fake cheery tone. She seems satisfied and leaves the room, my dad following behind her.
As soon as they’re gone I clean the whole room.
Next day everything is a blur. Everyone is running here and there pushing each other. Mrs Weasley is yelling after everyone. I am ready to go, in my black rather old pants, a black t-shirt. my trunk was packed and my wand is in my pocket safely.
I remember when we were shopping in Diagon Alley, like the Weasleys we also bought second-hand things as Dad didn’t get a good job just because he is a werewolf. But somehow we manage.
Dumbledore was kind enough to give him the Defense against the Dark arts job in my third year but someone let slip that Professor Lupin was a werewolf and he had to leave. I tried to talk him out of leaving but he refused and said it’s best for both of us.
He has struggled so much in life and he still does. I feel miserable for not being able to do anything about it. I have had made a vow to myself that I will work hard and help dad. He looks older than his age because of his condition. We heal our wounds and all but still, he looks worn out.
I wish there was someone who could take care of him when I’m at school.
I comb my hair and make it tangle-free. My hair is a mixture of brown and black but most of the time it looks black.
“Time to go!” Ginny comes running and calls me. Ginny is nice and funny, we sometimes exchanged a few words and she’s smart too.
I sigh and nod with a smile. I lift my trunk, I groan because it’s really heavy. With all my strength I try to take it down the stairs. If we were allowed to do magic, the trunk would have been in the car by now.
Mrs Weasley is lecturing the twins for knocking Ginny off the stairs.
“You can do magic now does not mean you will use it for every little thing.” She yells, she then sees me trying to bring my trunk down. “Go help Eva bring her trunk to the car.”
They come jumping towards me.
“Let us help you, Eva,” says George grinning widely trying to take my trunk.
“No thanks I can manage,” I tell him. The trunk is heavy. But I’m also stubborn.
“Yeah, we can see that,” says Fred smirking and raising a brow.
“You Slytherins are so stubborn, now, we are here to help, take it,” remarks George.
“And you Gryffindors are so proud of yourself. If I were to use magic I would have done it already.” I retort raising my eyebrows because after trying so hard last time to raise one brow alone, I failed. “Take it” I gave them my trunk. They flick their wand and levitate my trunk to the car. I thank them and they just reply ‘Your Welcome’ in a very gentlemanly way as I roll my eyes.
After an hour of a car ride, we reach King’s Cross station. we all hurry to the platform nine and threes quarters. The scarlet steam engine, Hogwarts Express is already at the platform. Students and parents are saying goodbye to each other.
Some girls are giggling stupidly at something as I pass by them. I catch “Harry Potter” in their conversation. They are talking about Harry, of course, everyone is. Thinking how insane he is.
I look around to see Harry, he’s standing with Ron and Hermione, he is obviously trying to deal with the hate he is getting.
I load my trunk in the train. Then jump off it to say goodbye to everyone especially my dad. Sirius was there in his Animagus form, a black dog. He waves his tail as a sign to say goodbye.
I pat him on his head in response he waves his tail cheerfully. I look at Mrs Weasley hugging and kissing Ron, Ginny and the twins and Harry as well. I’m reminded of my father, my mother is not here anymore for me, she died when I was only a baby.
“Mr Weasley where’s my dad?” I ask, looking around to see a sign of my dad, my heart beating like every time I was ready to go to Hogwarts. That place has something about it that makes me feel the most alive and elated. And it hurts to think that I will have to leave in a few years. Maybe I could become a professor and stay there forever?
“Oh must be here by now. Oh, here he comes.” Mr Weasley points towards the barrier of platform nine and ten.
Dad looks shabby as ever but he has a bright smile on his face which makes him look charming, he has a cage in his hands. In that, it has a white owl not snowy like Hedwig, Harry’s owl, but it is beautiful.
“Sorry, I’m late.” He says hugging me and kissing on my head. “This is for you.” He hands me the owl.
I never have been so happy in my life. I always wanted an owl, so that I could contact Dad anytime from anywhere. Then a realisation hit me.
“This must be out of our budget dad. How did you...” he stops me, shushing me.
“Stop! I had some extra saved. So I bought it for you. And you will write to me every week okay? Telling me everything that happened.”
“Woah. Okay! I will write and you take care of yourself okay?” I order him,
“Yes, ma’am.” He chuckles. “Be careful.”
“I will,” I say as the train whistle the last time and starts moving slowly.
“Well, look after yourselves,” says dad to every one of us who are leaving for school shaking hands all around. He reaches Harry last and gives him a clap on the shoulder. “You too, Harry. Be careful.”
I hop on to the train and wave at him until he is out of sight.
I walk towards the Slytherin carriage, my trunk sliding behind me and the cage of my new owl on my side, to find my friends and sit with them.
As I slide open the door to the compartment, I feel a hand on my shoulders. I turn around to see a pair of grey-blue eyes staring at me.
Hey there! I know it was a long chapter, but the next chapters will be a bit shorter than this.
Thank you for reading.
I hope you liked the first chapter!
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