A/N- Disclaimer : I don't own THG or any of the characters.
Death has always been something I've dreaded not the death of myself but the death of someone I can't live without. My relationship with her isn't what I expected it to be, I thought we'd quickly end because of my player ways but when we got together the idea of cheating seemed like something foreign and absurd to me. When Katniss' body crashed to the ground my father admitted that he never planned on killing me, only her so that I'd be like an empty shell of the boy I used to be until I finally got over her death and moved on with my life, they left me alone in the room to sob and scream. I wish I had saved her from the shot but she held me back in a I kind of way that even though I'm stronger than her I couldn't get out from behind her.
"We suspect that the pain was so intense it caused Ms. Everdeen's body to go into complete shock, she also lost a lot of blood and if it were not for this generous young man giving her 2 liters of his own she would have died."
I feel the Everdeen's eyes on me as I rub my thumb against the back of Katniss' hand.
"Abasi, thank you for giving the blood to our daughter." Mr. Everdeen says
"My name is Andrew sir." I say while looking up
"Oh, sorry Abel."
"Andrew." Mrs. Everdeen and I correct him
"Andrew." He says
"So when will she wake up?"
"It's hard to tell, her body didn't know how to react to such sudden and intense pain especially to the loss of so much blood so she blacked out and there's no telling when she will awake. We have done everything we can to try to revive her, all that's left to do now is wait."
"Thanks so much Dr. Osborne." They say in unison
"You're welcome." He says with a smile
"How's Prim?" Dr. Osborne asks
"She fine, been growing a lot lately." Mrs. Everdeen says with a smile
"As expected." Dr. Osborne says with a smile and writes something on a clipboard
"She's down the hall if you want to see her." Mrs. Everdeen says
"Will do." He says
"How's the business going John?" He asks Mr. Everdeen
"Extremely well, I'm so proud of my artists." He answers
"Is she your girlfriend?" He asks me and I peel my eyes away from Katniss.
"Huh? Yeah, she is." I answer
"Do you love her?" He asks
Love, no. It seems like I've come to forgotten what love is over the years while having sex tantrums and breaking the hearts of girls whose names I can't even remember. What is love? And if I can't even love myself how will I love her? Everyone seems to think I do love her, but do I? I do know that I would go out of my way just to make sure she's safe and happy and that if she wanted us to break up I would let her because all I really want is for her to be happy and that my feelings for her unlike the weather will not change. At this point I think saying no would get me raised eyebrow looks from everyone in the room so I just say, "Yes."
"I bet she loves you too." He says with a smile
"Well I have to check on someone down the hall I'll be back in an hour." He says and leaves the room.
When Katniss does open her eyes I have to say it's over between us or maybe I should just go. She can't be with me, my world is too dangerous for her, yes I was living in a sad, lonely life of darkness and she came along and became my light but this isn't about me, it's about her well being and I don't want the horrible life I live to consume her until the Katniss everyone knows and loves is just a distant memory.
I kiss her forehead and gently squeeze her hands in mine, "I'm really going to miss you." I say and then sigh
"Do you want us to give you some time alone with her Angelo?" Mr. Everdeen asks
"Andrew." I correct him
"Katniss is the one with you not me." He says and Mrs. Everdeen gently hits him with her purse
"Yes, I'd like some time alone with her."
"We'll give you 10 minutes." Mrs. Everdeen says and they leave
"I remember the day we first met..." I start knowing she cant hear me
"The 12th of January 2001, we were like 5 years old and your hair was in two ponytails and it made you so upset."
"You were going on and on about how you couldn't believe your mother would do that to you because you thought you looked stupid but I thought you looked pretty."
"Not that you don't always look beautiful." I say with a smile and brush some loose strands of hair away from her forehead.
"So anyway I told you that you looked pretty as always and smiled when the pink rushed to your cheeks, from that day on we were like best friends and then we entered high school and started hanging out with different people and somewhere along the line grew to hate each-other."
"I made a lot of mistakes in the past, I regret them so much and had I made different choices we could be together now but the thing is my mistakes have changed me and now we're too different." I say and hold her small hands in mine.
"Just don't give up on me alright? If I try to push you away try harder to get me to talk to you."
I gently press my lips against hers and leave.
The only sound that can be heard is the beeping of the heart monitor and my breathing through the oxygen mask. When the bullet went through my arm and my body collided with the cold tiles on the ground and I felt myself being pulled into the afterlife the regret of not giving Peeta one last kiss or at least looking at him filled my body. At the same time I wasn't sure if it was a dream or reality but by the noises I hear around me and the burn In my arm which is so intense it's almost all I can think about I know it was definitely not a dream.
"Where's Andrew?" The question escapes my lips before my eyes have the chance to open.
"He went home." My father answers and my eyes flutter open.
"So he's alright?"
Wait, Peeta left before making sure I'm okay? That doesn't make sense. He must be joking...of course he's not the look in his eyes means he's serious.
"That's good to hear." I say but I'm sure the tone of my voice gives away how disappointed I am that he's not here.
"You can see him tomorrow sweetie." Mom says trying to make me happier.
"Yeah I guess, does he even care that I got shot?" I ask.
Maybe I've been too blinded by my feelings for him to notice that he's been lying the entire time and doesn't have feelings for me or maybe he's just gotten tired of me. I know Peeta and I know he wouldn't leave without seeing my eyes open for clarification that I am truly alive.
"He cares a lot honey, he gave blood so that you'd live." Dad says
"Really?" I ask
"Yes." He says with a smile, answers his phone and then walks over to the hospital window.
"Then why did he go?"
Mom shrugs, "Maybe he had a family emergency."
I check my phone and I see no messages from him. He was definitely here though because my skin is hot in tingly, that's a feeling that I get anytime we touch and it lasts for a few minutes longer after he stops. I just want him to hold me and distract me from this pain, make me feel like everything is definitely going to be okay.
"He would have said something."
"Maybe he had something important to take care of. Not that you're not important, like you're probably very important to him but the thing he had to do is more important than you, but don't feel bad, remember the important thing is-"
Her phone rings, "Thank God." She says and answers it, "Yes Jake, I did send the flowers." She says into her phone
That's another thing mom's bad at, relationship advice.
Is everything okay?
Thanks for giving blood for me
Are you sure everything is okay?
Everything is fine.
This is something I've always been scared of if Peta & I dated...him getting tired of me, I didn't try hard enough to give him a reason to stay, maybe I'm too stressful or care too much or maybe he's realized that I'm not really what he wants. Tears slide down my cheeks before I even have the chance to decide whether I'm going to keep them in or not and I bury my face in my hands while my parents rub my back and try to get me to say what's wrong.
A/N- The aim is 185 reviews! This chapter was just used to show what happened after the bullet wound and where their relationship stands at the moment. Sorry I took so long to update but I always write better on Sundays and I waited till last minute to do my project oops (/.\) . Thanks for the reviews, follows, favourites and most importantly the reads! Happy Mother's Day! :) Oh and Counting Stars I haven't forgot you it's just very hard to write another chapter because of what's going on in the story now if you have any ideas you are free to put it in the reviews or message it to me.