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A Treasure in the Feast?

By neevey

Horror / Other

Chapter 1

Uno

She knew something wasn't quite right as soon as she entered the castle. A bad feeling at the bottom of her stomach quickly spread throughout her body. The fear she now had, the paranoia, regret. It was all too much, why couldn't she wake up?

The strange women who was leading them down this grand hallway with strange violet eyes and unnatural good looks had a gleam in her eyes. Heidi wanted blood and was tempted to feast on the humans now instead of in a moments time.

It would be a shame if any blood got on the luscious furnishings as the humans panicked and screamed for their useless lives. Heidi had been doing this for a very long time and she never gave in to the temptation. No one would blame her if she did though.

Blood is just too irresistible.

“Welcome to Voltaire!”

The girl was drawn from her thoughts by blood curdling screams that would wake the dead. If only she could be deep under ground in her grave now. The pain that awaited her was going to be excruciating. Nobody wanted to spend their last few moments, their last breath, in absolute terror and agony.

Teeth hadn't pierced any part of her skin yet, they were too distracted by the others. Could she run? No. Whoever these people, creatures, were nobody was escaping. Then she realised as she was next just what these pale white people were.

“Vampires.” Her faint, strained and above all else horrified voice whispered.

Icy hands grabbed her throat in a tight death grip almost choking her. If she moved even an inch they would surely snap her already bruising neck. Would that death be so terrible though? It would be better than slowly being drained dry by a monster. It had been less than a few minutes since the tourists had entered the room and now everyone of them were empty of blood apart from her.

“You know what we are?” A sly man’s voice spoke from behind.

The girl still had the ability to use sarcasm in her, “It isn't rocket science.”

To her it was obvious and she could not understand why they hadn't killed her yet. Everyone else in the room must have surely thought that before their deaths. Had it not been as obvious to them as it was to her?

“Let me have a look at her thoughts.” The man who had welcomed the humans said.

The strong vampire with the hands locked tightly around the humans throat let go. She would be a fool to run.

The vampire whose name was Aro was clutched the girls warm hand. He was surprised when not a single crystal clear thought flowed into his mind. Everything was so cloudy and hard to understand; some memories blocked and jumbled around. Could he have found someone with a gift?

“Jane, bring her pain.” he commanded.

The girl winced as pain hit her but she could just about continue standing despite the pain and exhaustion she felt.

“Could it be a shield?” he laughed like a maniac.

He moved quick and gracefully to his throne smiling like a little child in a candy store.

“Change her before I grow hungry once more,” Aro commanded his guard, “We shall see if I have been blessed with a gift.” he clapped.

“Why waste such a delicious meal?” Jane thought angrily.


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borkarprasad: Story was overall a good experience. I liked that the truth unraveled slowly and kept me in edge every time I changed the chapter. I would love to read more volumes to this legacy and be glad to read it from a published book. Great work!!!!!!!!!

Kiz16: After a truly shocking start to the story, I found the style and content slowed down as the author introduced a varied group of characters who I thought were fleshed out very well. After a slow couple of chapters, I found this story difficult to leave with the tension growing within the house. Yo...

sujitha nair: What's so distinct about this story was that it could easily be real. Praveena can be your classmate, neighbor or that girl you saw at the coffee shop today. The important decisions she makes and the dilemmas she faces, remind us of our own twisted lives.

MissMadokaKaname: I was impressed and moved by this work. The characterization and dialog were strong, and really brought everyone in the story to life. Also, the setting was handled in a believable and compelling way. The story captured the complexities and pain of love, and also the harshness of living in such b...

C.K. Bachman: Just read the first chapter. Love how the main character thinks and is conflicted over his wife and the trickery he uses on her.

RodRaglin: Your writing is very good, Rachel, but remember you also have to entertain the reader and in that regard it's a bit sparse in action and dialogue.Consider when revising...When starting a new story always consider your protagonist's Goal - what they want; Motivation - why they want it; and, Confli...

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ahattar4096: The only part. Get annoyed of is how they ask soooooo many questions here and there and it just makes it a bit boring for me. Like so boring that even some I skip through and after I do it has nothing to do with what they will next talk about in the story. My opinion is tha mabye the questions th...

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