Therapy Cruise

Oooh aahh

This is pointless.

Raven folded her arms in silent rebellion. She sat, slumped against a brown leather sofa, watching a blonde woman tap away at her ipad.

"How long does this meeting last?"

The woman tapped even more frivolously.

"You can go whenever."

"Excuse me?"

"I collect a paycheck either way so you can leave if you want to."

"Wait a second." Raven snarled, "I sat outside for over an hour, I didn't even want to come, but now that I'm here you could at least do your job."

Dropping the ipad, the woman glanced up at Raven, flashing her jagged pearly whites.

"I already did." She pulled out a blue notebook and patted it derisively. "You're never going to live this down."

Darkness framed the woman's face and slowly consumed it. Gradually she faded into the background, her jagged teeth still glowing.

My diary!

A siren went off in Raven's head and she jumped out of bed searching frantically.

"I always put it in the same place! How could it be gone? Unless...X!" Her eyes shot out of her skull. "Great, now I'll never get the damn thing back."

Wait a second.

She had a sudden epiphany. Snatching up her magic mirror, she recited her usual incantation, and was whisked off into Nevermore. Not even a second had passed before Knowledge and Wisdom had bombarded her.

"YOU LOST IT! HOW COULD YOU LOSE IT!" They shouted furiously.

"I didn't lose it, it was stolen, I think."

"Well it doesn't matter. Lost or stolen you're still going to suffer the same consequences. Without your hold on her Lust is free to do and say as she pleases." Spoke Wisdom as she massaged her temples.

"You can't be serious."


"Okay so isn't there any kind of damage control we can implement?"

"Yeah it's called find the diary!" Both emoticlones snarled.

"Okaaay well any bright ideas? You are my two most intelligent emotions."

Knowledge and Wisdom both blushed, but then Wisdom smacked herself, realizing this was no time for an ego trip.

"I got it! Knowledge, do you still have that crystal ball you use for spying on Raven's other emotions?"

"I don't spy!"

"Of course, of course whatever, but do you still have it?"


"Go get it then we'll need it!"

Knowledge quickly vanished, and in an instant she was back again, this time holding a glass orb.

"Hand it over!" Wisdom yanked the orb out of her hands, and Raven smirked, watching the two emotions with amusement.

"How does it work?" Raven asked.

"It's simple." Knowledge smiled. "The operator simply imagines who or whatever they want to see and when they channel their energy to the orb by touching it the object or person will appear."

"Sounds simple enough, but how come we aren't seeing Red X with my diary? That is what your telling it to show us right Wisdom?"

"I am, but for some reason it's not working." Wisdom growled.

"Lust must be blocking us out." Knowledge interjected.

"But how would she know we're spying?" asked Raven.

"Technically, she doesn't. The diary, as she's told you I'm sure, is her personal property. Therefore, if she doesn't want it to be found then it won't be. She knows that as soon as you realize the diary is gone you'll go looking for it and so she's making sure you can't find it."

"Why would she do that?"

"Did you do anything to piss her off?"

"Probably." Raven smiled.

"Well then there's your answer."

"Then what do I do now?"

Grimacing, both Knowledge and Wisdom said "Keep looking for the diary and in the mean time just pray that she doesn't cause any serious damage. Without that diary in your possession Lust is going to run wild."

"But the Titans are going on a cruise for a whole week! How can I find the diary if it's with X!" Shouted Raven hysterically.

Wincing, Knowledge pulled out a large red button from her cloak. Wisdom and Knowledge pressed it simultaneously, sending Raven hurdling back into her room.

"Beats us!"

Seconds later, Raven was back in her room. She thought that it would be morning when she glanced over at the alarm, but it was barely even two am.

Wonderful, and now I can't go back to sleep.

Grumpy, she decided to make herself a cup of warm tea, and so she slipped quietly into the hallway, accidentally bumping into a roaming green annoyance.

"Beast Boy, what are you doing up?" She croaked.

"I'm not all that tired." He shrugged. Truthfully, he was, but he was also nervous and that's what was keeping him awake. In a few hours, he would be trapped with one of the greatest evils of the world, a therapist, and who had more to hide than he did. Scratching his stomach, he trudged into the kitchen, Raven trailing behind. When she walked in, she saw him with his head in the fridge, and his purple basketball shorts sagging so that she had an unwanted view of his green crack. Quickly turning away, she proceeded to the cabinet, retrieving her mug. After ten minutes the pot whistled and she poured a cup of black tea. Cup in hand, she sat down at the table watching the steam rise in a trance.

"Meat sauce...nasty. Meat loaf...more nasty. Meat balls...extra super nasty." Beast Boy grumbled, casually tossing all the meat dishes over his shoulder, into the trash.

Chrome dome could use a diet.

Finally deciding he wasn't hungry, he shut the fridge, and directed his attention toward Raven. "So ya ready for the cruise ta morrow Rae?"

"Actually, I plan to mysteriously disappear two hours before."

"Ya know, that really doesn't sound like a bad idea. Well...," he said yawning. "Only five more hours ta go."

Gee thanks for reminding me.

Quickly downing the rest of her tea, she moved to the couch, Beast Boy hanging on her coattails. He plopped down next to her, and comfortably stretched out.

"What are you doing?" She glared.

"Well I figured since we both can't sleep might as well talk." He smiled. "So why are you up?"

"I just am."

"That's not a reason. Did you have a nightmare or something?"

"I don't have nightmares."

"Whatever you say..." he twiddled his thumbs. "So, what was it about?"


"Right, right uh no nightmare k got it ha ha." He smiled nervously.

"So uh you wanna hear about mine then?"

"Not really."

"Huh? you say somethin?"

Raven clenched her fists and Beast Boy shrugged. "I guess not, so anyway, I dreamt I finally got this awesome moped and then there were these girls chasing me."


"Well it was all going great until the girls turned into evil space tofu."


"The stupid space tofu kept chasing me and when I thought I lost it, the moped turned into space tofu. I was cornered on every side and then Cyborg showed up and he was all meat. And I was like NO! Meat sucks I'm not eating that crap! And then he pulled out a piece of bacon and started beating the space tofu with it. And then..." He let out a long breath. "And then, the tofu got pissed that Cyborg kept smacking it, so it ate us both. Doesn't that dream kinda suck Raven?...Raven? Raven where you even listening to me?"


"Well thanks a lot," he pouted. What's the point of talking if your not even listening?"

"There isn't one."

"Well, fine be that way." He hiked his feet onto the couch yawning.

Raven looked at him and felt a yawn coming on too, but she didn't want to sleep. How could she when Lust was out and about wreaking havoc on her sanity.

"So wanna play a game?" Beast Boy asked, his eyebrows doing a little jig.

Raven's left eye twitched slightly and a pair of slithery black tentacles wiggled out from beneath her cloak.

"NOT THAT KIND OF GAME!" Beast Boy jumped back, throwing his hands in the air.

"Then what?" Raven growled.

Beast Boy got up and walked over to a small in-table off to one corner of the common room. "Where are they?" He searched. After finally pulling out a deck of cards he felt satisfied.

"B.S." he said proudly.

Yeah that's about what I think of this game.

"Alright you start it." Raven grumbled.

Beast Boy dealt the cards and they started the game.

-4 hours later-

"Four thr-e-ess." Beast Boy let his cards drop and his head fell back over the couch arm. Raven's legs were draped over the opposite side and she, laid face down, on Beast Boy's foot so that every time he wiggled his big toe he scratched the inside of her nose.

"Robin, you seeing what I'm seeing?" Cyborg chuckled as he and Robin stepped into the common room.

"Uh yeah Cy, but the thing is, I don't see why I'm seeing it." Robin said, raising an eyebrow. "Alright guys we gotta get out to the loading dock early so come on get up." He shook Beast Boy.

Beast Boy shifted, clinging all the more tightly to the couch cushion. "That's right ladies I'm all man and all Beast, which one of you hot chickies wants a date with me first?" Babbled Beast Boy in between lip puckers. Raven, who was also still asleep, kept batting her nose due to the big green toe inside it.

"Kinda cute huh Robin?"

"Yeah cute."

"Looks like BBs makin a play for Raven too and he's winning." An enormous smirk played on the metal man's face as he watched Robin do his best to hide his irritation.

ONE, Robin had already established that HE WAS NOT MAKING A PLAY FOR HER THE OTHER DAY! TWO, according to her diary, she was the one with the dirty fantasies! AND THREE, if he ever did, which he wouldn't because he valued his life and knew that Star would assassinate them both, there's NO FREAKING WAY Beast Boy would beat him.

"Shut up Cyborg," Robin grumbled and left it at that, continuing his attempt of waking Beast Boy and Raven.

"COME ON GUYS!" Robin groaned, shaking Beast Boy who was scrunching his face and whining.

"Nicole, why do you sound like my friend Robin?" Beast Boy opened his eyes, still slightly delirious.

"EEEaaaaPPP! Nicole, you even look just like Robin. You used to be so hot what the hell happened!"

Cyborg fell to the ground rolling with laughter. Robin's face flushed and he socked Beast Boy in the mouth finally startling him awake.

"Owww dude what the heck!"

Robin said nothing. The look of death was Beast Boy's only response.

Eventually, Raven had woken up from all the noise and when she had realized that she was sleeping on top of Beast Boy's foot, she concluded that Trigon had finally captured her and this was her punishment.

"Are you two going to get up, the cruise starts in an hour."

"No, actually I think I'd rather sleep." Raven kicked Beast Boy on the floor and buried her face in the cushion. He landed with a hard thud and threw eye daggers at her.

"Okay Raven, I guess if you want to stay here ALONE with Beast Boy for A WHOLE WEEK it's fine with me."

"I'll be ready in five minutes."

The sun beat down on the Titans heads oppressively, killing what little patience the grumpier members of the team had left. Raven slumped behind the group with her face hidden behind the hood of her cloak. From the looks of it she could have been planning an escape. Starfire, frolicked along in front of her looking like she might burst from happy pills.

"Oh look! It's soo beeeeautiful." She clapped excitedly.

The rest of the group nodded in awe upon seeing the Goliath like ship towering over them like they were ants at a picnic.

"Let all your troubles sail away, hmm. Nice but kinda cheesy" Beast Boy flicked the sweat from his brow as he read the side of the ship.

Each Titan stood quiet, holding their suitcase loaded with goods for the week. The feelings of the group teetered around dread, anxiety, and overjoyed. Obviously, the overjoyed one of the group was Starfire. Robin, on the other hand, was not looking forward to a whole week on a ship with a therapist. Sitting around and talking about 'feelings' was something chicks did, but he couldn't deny it would be good for the team.

A few more moments of silence passed while everyone lingered on in thought before Beast Boy decided to try and break up the monotony.

"Dudes, this is gonna be awesome! That things big enough to have like five pools, a bowling alley, a race track, and an all you can eat tofu buffet!" Beast Boy grinned, his child like enthusiasm beaming through. Truth be told, he wasn't all that happy about the therapy cruise when Robin first agreed to it, and still he wasn't too keen on the idea, but now that they were here he might as well try to enjoy himself. That was Beast Boy, forever the optimist.

"Yeah, cause that's what anyone with millions of dollars would put on a expensive cruise ship, a buffet that serves nothing but sponges." Raven retorted.

"My thoughts exactly." said a familiar stranger strolling out to the dock to meet them. The Titans noted his cheesy grin and immediately recognized him as the sales guy from the commercial. "A buffet that serves nothing but sponges is a fabulous idea, and that is why, my friends, I have made it a special feature of my ship. In fact, this entire cruise is especially personalized to your liking and it houses not just one, but TWO gourmet tofu buffets."

"Well would you imagine that." Cyborg shook his head.

Raven's jaw fell slack. Satisfied, Beast Boy stuck out his tongue and pulled down his lower eyelid, gesturing both, "skip you" and "in your face" at the same time.

"Eh um" The salesman continued. "After you've had time to do a bit of exploring I think you'll find that the ship also houses a state of the art gym, mixed martial arts combat training facility, a race track, auto shop with all the latest car models, a deluxe mini mall with all the wildest and hottest fashions, a day spa, an aquarium, and a three story library complete with a poetry cafe and museum. Oh and by the way we do have a bowling alley and movie theater as well just in case you're wondering."

"SWEET!" Beast boy rubbed his hands together, but then paused. "Wait why the hecks a smelly old library on the ship, none of us care about-" he stopped noticing Raven's glare."Eh hehe, libraries are cool...I guess."

"Right then," the man continued. The loaders will take your bags while the chaperons escort you to your rooms.

The Titans smiled and the man moved aside allowing two attractive men to step in front of him. Raven blinked twice when she saw the chaperons.

They look somewhat familiar.

She thought for a moment, suddenly, realizing they both resembled the sexy titan of the sea, Aqualad. Both men were tall, with thick dark hair. One man had his hair slicked back with gel, while the other's hair was spiked with gel, similar to Robin's. Both men were dressed in the same uniform, black dress pants and vest, with a dark blue dress shirt underneath. The only real difference between the men, besides their hair, was that one had grey eyes while the other's eyes were misty blue.

Naturally, she found them both hot, but obviously she couldn't drool in public so she dawned a bored expression as the first Aqualad twin opened his mouth to greet the group of Titans.

"Hello, we will be your escorts for the duration of the cruise." The blue eyed aqua double smiled at the Titans, the women of the group in particular, showing all his pearly white straight teeth.

"Um hello, it is nice to do the meeting of you Mr. uh Mr..." Starfire babbled.

"Phil Mcrevis."


"Um okay, well it's VERY VERY nice to do the meeting of you Mr. Phil Mcrevis."

Robin's fist clenched as Starfire shook the guy's hand.

In the background Beast Boy and Cyborg made little whimpering sounds like a chihuahua on steroids.

Raven's eyes narrowed in annoyance. "Shut up." She smacked them both over the head before shaking the other aqua double's hand.

He bounced his eyebrows at her before taking her hand. "Name's Jack Mehoff and it's very nice to meet you as well."


Raven turned and snarled at the green teen and metal man, but there was nothing she could do to shut them up. Giving up, she face palmed and when she looked up everyone could see the big red hand print on her forehead.

"So are you guys excited?"

"For what?" asked Raven. "Most people don't exactly jump at the thought of spending a whole week with a therapist."

"Well yeah, but then most people don't get invited to spend a week on Dave's ship and you guys practically have the whole thing to yourselves. Many other rich and famous individuals pay high prices to spend a few days on board, but Dave has always wanted to host a special cruise for the Titans."

That's a little strange. Robin thought.

"Why are we so special?" asked Beast Boy.

"Don't know, but it doesn't really matter. Your here now. After this week your all going to feel like a million bucks." Jack smiled, stopping in front of a Rosewood door with a brass helm for a knob.

"This is your room sir." Phil nodded in Robin direction. Robin's jaw nearly dropped and he doesn't impress easily. Sitting across from his Kingside memory foam mattress was a fourty-two inch plasma screen HDTV with a sony HT-ST7 sound bar.

"Whoa." Cyborg gasped. Robin payed him no mind. He was too busy inspecting his black satin sheets. He quickly smoothed a hand over the bed making sure no one caught the slightly girly gesture.

"This is impressive."

"If you like this room, wait till you see the others. Are you ready to go yet?"

They all nodded, and followed the escorts down a small winding staircase.

"OOOOhhhh aaaaaaahh." Starfire poked and prodded a few hanging displays as they descended. She loved how shiny they were and that she could easily see her reflection in the stained glass.

"This is Raven's room." Jack slightly bowed his head in front of a marble doorway.

"Right under Robin." Cyborg ribbed her.

"It's nice." Raven muttered, ignoring Cyborg, but nice was an understatement. The room was spellbinding. The walls were painted royal blue and on one side of the room there was a black and white mural resembling what looked like a monasterie in Azarath where she grew up. Across from the painting sat a queen sized princess style bed with a canopy. The frame was steel with stars sculpted into the metal and her sheets were blue and black silk. The bed was placed right next to a door sized window that appeared to be about a foot thick. From the window she had the perfect view of tropical fish swimming by.

"Wow this is awesome, your room is even better than Robin's. I can't wait ta see mine!" Beast Boy beamed.

"Cyborg's room is the next closest. His room is right next to the buffet. We'll take you to see the other two rooms right after you have lunch." said Phil, motioning for them to follow him out into the hallway. They all huddled behind him passing a few gift shops on the way to Cyborg's place. When they got there they were surprised to see that his room was pretty much an exact replica of his room at the tower.

"Haha," Beast Boy chuckled. "Your room looks exactly the same."

Cyborg ignored him and grinned, surprised they'd gotten all the high tech gadgets and details perfect.

"Well not exactly Beast Boy." Phil placed a finger on top of a tiny red button beside the door.

Instantly, the room was converted. The new version had wood flooring, a soft white rug, a fireplace, a holographic sunset, numerous hot car photos, an over-sized HD plasma screen like Robins, a mini chocolate fountain, a stereo system built into one side of the walls, a Gamestation complete with yet to be released games, and a kingsized ,unpopable, waterbed with rose-petals. Cyborg's room is also the only room to come with it's own walk in shower and Jacuzzi bath tub. Basically hands down his room kicked everybody else's rooms butt.

Phil clapped his hands together and suddenly soft jazz started coming out of the stereo wall. "Dave figured your probably a hit with the ladies and thought your room needed a little you know just in case you have a visitor or two while you're here."

"No Freakin WAY!" Beast Boy's jaw dropped and Raven slid it back together. Cyborg, however, was too busy crying from tears of joy to rub his triumph in BB' face. He thrust his arms around the chocolate fountain.



"Come on Cyborg we've spent twenty minutes starring at your stupid room can we just go eat now." Beast Boy pouted.

"Wait! one last look it's so beautiful," he wiped a tear from his eye as the rest of the Titans, and the two escorts, strained trying to pry him from the fountain.

"Do you have any mustard?"


Robin groaned. Why does Star always have to pull this crap in public.

"She really likes it. Can you just bring a few bottles for the table." He explained to the buffet chef.

"If you insist, sir." The chef shrugged, then went to retrieve a few bottles of mustard from the kitchen.

"So now what?" Beast Boy asked.

"Help yourselves, You guys paid for everything already so feel free to get whatever you want." Phil smiled. Then he proceeded to the buffet to make his own plate.

"Dang Rae didn't know you had it in ya." Cyborg grinned and patted her on the back as they exited the dinning area. She'd eatin a plate full of Kalamari, a half a plate of California rolls, two portions of sauteed eggplant, and a grilled salmon fillet. Afterwards, she even had room for a small dish of caramel fried ice cream.

"Best tofu and sauteed eggplant I've ever had." Beast Boy let out a loud belch and grinned.

Robin and Starfire walked behind the other three Titans and seemed to be having their own small conversation. Well at least that's what Robin was trying to do. He kept saying something to Star about not drinking mustard in public places. And Starfire was doing her best to ignore him. After all, even though she wasn't good at holding grudges, she was still kind of annoyed at him for lying about her cooking. She sipped her mustard quietly as she walked beside Robin.

"Well we only have two more rooms to see. Starfire's room is next to the in door pool and Beast boy's room is near the aquarium, which would you like to see first?" asked Jack.

Beast Boy's ears perked up. "PLLLLEEEEEEEEEAAAAAaaaase can we go to my room?"

Raven's eyebrows curled up beside each other and she grit her teeth. Jack took this into account and he motioned for the team to follow him toward the aquarium.

They walked out onto the deck in pairs of two. Robin was paired with Starfire, who was still pretending to ignore him, and Raven and Beast Boy walked side by side as well, each disregarding the others company.

"Woa you guys see that?" Cyborg suddenly blurted out as the team and the two escorts traveled through a sort of on deck tunnel. "That fish was bigger then the grass stain. It could of swallowed his bony butt whole."

"Man! since when is my butt bony? You should talk, yours is made of metal!"


"And it's bonier then mine bolts for brains?" grinning Beast Boy bent over and pulled one side of his pants down, boxers and all, revealing one green cheek.


Beast Boy took off running down the tunnel laughing the whole way. The other Titans watched with amusement as Cyborg chased after him firing his lazer cannon, on low.

"Great, cause I really needed to see that." Raven grumbled turning away from the rest of her team. Her eyes set on the various tropical fish dancing through the aquarium and she watched them closely, more so out of boredom than interest. There was a small family of Angel fishes weaving gracefully in and out of some parrot feathers plants. Their delicate little bodies fluoresced in the water and Raven did think they were quiet stunning fish. Raven stared at the fish family a few more moments before averting her attention back toward her team. Unfortunately, she didn't turn away soon enough not to see one of the more feeble looking Angel fishes be devoured by a large shark.

He didn't have a chance. She shook her head.

When the Titans finished their tour, Jack and Phil left them to their own business. Tomorrow would be their first session, so they would need plenty of time to re-cooperate. Most of the Titans chose to retreat back to their rooms, but Robin was feeling restless.

The night was cold, but not too cold. Just cold enough so that he could see small puffs of his breath, as he strolled along the deck, bundled in a plush red blanket. He leaned over the balcony, stone faced.

Maybe I should just talk to her. She's usually pretty reasonable.

The right thing would be to confront her and apologize for reading the diary, but he couldn't. She'd assassinate him. Either way he had to give it back, but now wasn't a good time. She was already mad at him for forcing her to attend the cruise. If she found out he read her diary she'd tear him a new one.

While he was deep in thought another presence stepped onto the deck. Her foot steps clicked as she prodded barefoot over to a remote corner of the ship. She folded her legs on top of each other and straightened her back as she began to chant, the moon beams highlighting her pale cheeks.

She looks so innocent, but that diary isn't. His lips thinned as he turned his attention toward her.

Raven cracked open an eye, "Robin I can feel your eyes quit it," she snarled.

Quickly, he looked away.

Raven shut her eye again and continued in her monotone chant. Every now and then her voice would falter as an icy breeze hit her back. Deciding it was getting cold, Robin prepared to head inside, but before he did, he took one last look at the empath, then walked over and draped his blanket over her shoulders.

I'll deal with it later.

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