† Thirteen †
"This sucks.." I groaned peeling my eyes from the endless staring contest with the ceiling. I wasn't been able to sleep even after I cried. I couldn't help but find something, or anything, to entertain myself and to take my mind off of 'that'
I stood up, much to my body's protest and walked out through the hallway. I was on my way to the kitchen when I heard a piano playing from the direction of the misuc room. I went towards the sound as it piqued my interest and slightly open the door to peek.
Inside was Laito playing the grand piano beside the open widow. The light of the bright full moon shone on him, making a much more romantic scene that I've never seen before. However, she suddenly stopped playing and he stood up, looking out of the window.
"Whether you desire it or not, I have never forgotten about you for an instant" he said staring up the moon "I always love your voice, your scent and everything so much that I hate you.."
His words suddenly remind me of someone. Someone that I used to love with all my heart..
"Laito-nii" I said and he quickly turned around finding me, letting myself in. "Oho~ What brings you here, little sis?" he asked "Did you hear what onii-san just sai - ?"
"Yes I did" I cut him off and sat on the chair beside him. His face suddenly turned serious and voice deeper than his usual tone "Don't you know it's bad to eavesdrop of people?"
I sighed and started playing the song 'Kiss in the Rain' by Yiruma. "And every night I lie awake, thinking maybe you love me like I've always loved you" I said, softly as I hit the keys "But how can you love me like I loved you when you can't even look me straight in my eyes"
I continued chanting the rest of lyrics as I played the rest the song. In each note I hit, Laito's gaze become soft and he seems to be more focused and his gaze were soft and full of loneliness.
As the song comes to it's 4th verse, he continued "I don't know what hurts you, but I can feel it too.. And it just hurts so much to know that I can't do a thing" he sighed "And deep down in my heart.. Somehow I just know that no matter what.. I'll always love you"
"So why am I still here in the rain?" I finished the song and finally let the keys go. Laito chuckled and said "You're a terrible singer.. Chanting instead of singing?"
"I may be a decent pianist, but I'm certainly not a good singer" we laughed both at that. "Do you know what the meaning behind that song?" I said and he avoided eye contact. Refusing to answer the question.
I sighed and answered for him. "It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel"
"I know it's different of your love for that person.. But all I wanted to say is that the saddest thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go" I smiled thinly at him and he smirked shaking his head.
"You don't unders - "
"Of course I understand.." he looked at I took his hand on mine "... A love that no matter how hard you try voice out, will always ended up being voiceless that no one even dared to listen"
"I love you Yumi-chan~" my brother - or rather foster brother - said. We hugged each other and graved our names on the old oak tree. "I love you too.. Onii-san!"
Back then, I never knew what he means by love. But all I knew is that when a person treats you well, it means that they love you and you should love them back like a family. That's all I believed at my little mind that time.
He was the only person who treated me well ever since I was adopted by my aunt. Even though he's a spend-thrift, he would always be there to save me from the hostility from my other relatives. That alone made him the most special person in my life.
That affection made my heart fell for him. I loved him so much but too much afraid to let him know. I'm afraid to ruin the relationship we had so I decided to keep it in for years. I finally given up on him as time passed until I met Leo, a rookie teen idol.
I began working with in a drama series for his debut for months. But unlike any other person.. He was the only person who sees me as I am. He was very kind, gentle and easy to love..
We began hanging out with each other and became friends. When my heart had finally let my brother go and I fell for Leo. However, my brother knew that my feelings with Leo were mutual, and that is the least thing he wanted.
I never realized that my brother never looked at me as a sister, but rather a lover. After I finally given up on him, he just came back, demanding to be loved and I hated it..
This made him insane, to the point that he killed my aunt for getting his way and locked me up in his room. Though gagged and blind-folded, I knew the things he's been doing to me. The sounds of the bed creaking, hands roaming my body and feather light kisses...
Every words of "I love you.. Yumichan~" that came out from his mouth disgusts me.
One day, Leo came to my resque. However, my brother is much stronger than him. He was also abducted and tied. For how many days I didn't count long, he tortured him right infront of me and ravished me infront of him.
But our hopes and love for each other never died..
My brother became more mad and he threatened to kill him. I couldn't bear for him to die, so I decided to let the man I love and choose my brother. But in the end, he killed him..
End of Flashback...
"Leo died and again.. I can do nothing about it.." I said as tears fell down freely on my face "I became mad and tried to seduce him just so he would finally let me go.. It did worked out and I ended up killing him too"
"I became insane and destructive until I ended up in a mental institution.. Months of therapy passed and I can finally go and start my life anew" I said as red locked on green eyes "But one thing's for sure.. I can never forget him.. Because that man is my brother, my savior, my friend.. and I love him so much that I hate him.."
Laito's eyes softened "Me too.." he said pertaining to the woman which turns out to be his mom. He openned up his story with her and I can't help but cry again. It strikes my heart so much that I had difficulty breathing.
I began to realize that even though raised by luxuries, all of us lead our own messed up lives. My brothers didn't chose to become like this. But was rather made..