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John is happily married, but has begun questioning his sexuality. In his search for answers, he is helped by an old friend who introduces him to the work of the unusual actor H. Sherwood.

Erotica / Romance
5.0 2 reviews
Age Rating:

Chapter 1

“Lovely,” John said with a smile as he took his plate of eggs and bacon from Mary. “I’ll miss you, you know.”

“Awh… I’ll miss you too.” Mary smiled at him and then leaned over to pour him some tea. “But it will be fine. You’ll find lots of stuff to do. Barely notice I’m gone, I’m sure.”

John sighed dramatically. “Even at work my favourite nurse will be missing. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“Flirt with my pretty young replacement?” Mary suggested.

“You mean Thomas?” John said, raising an eyebrow.

Mary smiled knowingly and nodded.

“I’m afraid he doesn’t quite shake my boat,” John said.

“Awh…” Mary made an exaggerated pout. “Too young for you? Too… tall?”

“Oi!” John said, softly kicking her leg under the table.

“Domestic violence?” she teased. “Really John?”

“They’re going to pity you so much when they see the traces my sock left behind. Maybe it will even have left a thread on your pyjamas.” He shook his head sadly before taking a bite of eggs.

"My friends will all be shocked," Mary said, barely suppressing a giggle. "Tell me they all warned me about marrying a soldier."

John snorted. "I bet David would actually believe you. Is he still single now?"

"I think so," Mary said absentmindedly as she spread jam on a piece of toast. "I know he was dating someone, but I think that's over."

"And there's probably no one else whose partner couldn't get out of a weekend shift. So you and him are the only ones on that "friend weekend" who are alone. You don't actually have to share a room, do you?" John asked, frowning at his bacon.

"You know, it's funny," Mary said, raising an eyebrow. "I checked your schedule and you weren't signed up for that shift until after I told you about this weekend..." She let him stew for all of two seconds before laughing. "Don't worry about it, John. I know this is not your thing. I don't mind going alone. And no, I'm not going to jump David just because you're not there."

"Oh, I was never worried about that. You've got much better now," John said smugly, sipping his tea. "It's just so obvious that he's still not over you."

"Well, I don't mind him fawning over me," Mary said. "Unless you think it's too cruel to lead him on? Should I let him get a little lucky?"

John huffed and bit his toast aggressively.

Mary laughed and then nudged John's foot with her own under the table. "You know you can trust me," she said. "I have absolutely no interest in David. I left him, remember? I'm with you."

"I know." John smiled at her. "I hope you have a great weekend."

"You too, darling," Mary said. She got up and walked around the table to give him a soft kiss. Then she headed off to their bedroom to get ready.

It was a frustrating day at work. As always on Fridays, it was busy, and every time Tall Thomas crossed his path, John had to look away. Damn Mary. She was all too good at saying things that would make him crack up with laughter at the most inappropriate moments.

‘You’re a horrible person’, he texted her during his break.

‘I love you too. Give my best to Thomas’, came the answer a few minutes later.

John chuckled and shook his head.

Still, he wondered a little at how Mary had looked when she had nodded at his joke that morning. Obviously they had both been kidding, but there had been that glint in her eyes that she sometimes had when she had figured something out before he had.

He could only hope he hadn’t been talking in his sleep. In the last two weeks he had somehow managed to have three erotic dreams. And that wouldn’t have been so worrying if they had not all starred men. Faceless men who had been appealing to John, intriguing, attractive. In the dreams he had not even thought twice before he returned their touches, and one of those mornings he had woken up awkwardly hard.

In fact he had had a few similar dreams earlier, but never so frequently. It made him wonder about them even by day. In his fantasies it wasn’t such a big deal to be touching a man. But in real life, he had never really felt attracted to men. He could appreciate that some were better-looking than others, and once or twice he might have developed a slight crush on an army mate… But that was just when there were no women around. It had simply been the loneliness getting to all of them, the need for affection in a world that consisted of aggression and cold practicality. Not something to actually act on.

Perhaps his subconsciousness was merely telling him that he was working too hard. The stress might be getting to him, and he had to admit that he didn’t really have any hobbies to take his mind off things, anything to relieve him a bit.

But after Mary’s remark, he actually found himself studying Thomas as he left the room after leaving a patient file. Was there anything about him that John… liked?

Immediately he pushed the thought out of his mind. It was completely inappropriate to be watching a colleague like that, even if he found that he wasn’t in any way attracted to the young man. And what if he was? He was happily married. And yet, John felt it was something he ought to know about himself.

It was almost a relief when his lunch break was over and the next patient came in. Working hours really weren’t the best time to start fretting about your sexuality. And the patient’s problem turned out to be a rather complicated case, which was ideal to keep his mind too occupied to return to the matter for the rest of the afternoon.

In the evening, John decided to stop by the big video rental shop near the clinic before going home. His and Mary’s preferences in film genres were actually quite alike, but while he liked to rewatch an old favourite now and then, she only ever wanted to see films she hadn’t seen before. There were too many good stories to linger on stuff she already knew, she said. So John decided that her weekend out was the perfect time to go find an old Bond film.

Inside the shop, he walked along the shelves for a while, but somehow he couldn’t find any Bond in the mass of action films. He saw some newer stuff he wanted to see sometime, but couldn’t make up his mind, and eventually returned to the Bond idea. There was no way they didn’t have The Man with the Golden Gun. But as he was walking towards the desk to find out where they had hidden it, he saw the staircase leading down to the left of the desk, invisible from the entrance. A small arrow, saying ‘18+’, was screwed to its railing.

In the few times he had been here before, John had never paid it any mind. But now, suddenly, he realised that this section might actually provide an answer to the question he was struggling with. In a pretty innocent way, he could discover if men could ever be sexy to him.

He felt like a naughty schoolboy going down those stairs. And as he spotted the yellow plate saying “GAY” above an aisle further to the back, he cringed at the thought that that was in fact what he was looking for.

As he walked down the corridor between the rows of shelves, he crossed a middle-aged man who was holding three dvd boxes and looked rather excited about his choice. A few shelves away, a girl in her twenties was critically comparing the two dvds in her hands.

Finally John could turn the corner of his destination, dearly wishing no one else would be there. He was lucky, and started browsing the many films. There was a whole bloody aisle of this stuff, and he had no clue what he was actually looking for. There even was a Man with the Golden Gun, but John didn’t even think about picking that one up.

“John? John Watson?”

John cringed. The last he needed was someone shouting his name in this section. Hoping furiously that it wasn’t one of his patients, he turned to see the man who, to John’s relief, was wearing a badge with the name of the rental shop on it.

“Stamford,” the man said, smiling a little. “Mike Stamford. We were in medical school together. Before I figured out that it wasn’t for me.”

Of course. Thinking away the glasses and imagining another haircut, John did recognise him. “Yes, sorry, yes, Mike,” he said, quickly shaking Mike’s offered hand, trying not to feel like all the men on the dvd covers were gazing at him, mocking him for the situation he had gotten himself into. “Hello, hi.”

“Yeah, I know, I got fat,” Mike chuckled.

“No. Just didn’t expect you here.” John almost closed his eyes and groaned. Great. As if he had needed to draw attention to where he was.

Mike looked a little amused. “I heard you were abroad somewhere, getting shot at. What happened?”

“I got shot,” John said shortly. “I mean… Sorry. Guess it’s still a touchy subject.” He tried very hard not to think of what those dvd cover men would make of the words ‘shot’ and ‘touchy’. “But it’s been some time now, fortunately. All settled back into civilian life. Working at a clinic and I got married last year.”

“Oh, really?” Mike beamed at him. “Congratulations.”

“Ta. It’s great. She’s great.” John smiled.

“So…” Mike looked at the shelves. “Browsing for your wife?”

“Ah… No.” The words had left him before he realised that perhaps that would have been a less awkward explanation. If only the ground would finally open to make him disappear… “I was just… crossing the corridor to get to… something else…”

Mike grinned. “Hey, I’ve worked here for a couple of years. You’d be surprised how many people use this corridor as a passageway, even if it only leads to the wall. And how often they’re in need of advice without wanting to ask for it.”

John had the feeling even his hair would turn red soon. “I really just got lost.”

“Sorry, didn’t want to imply anything that makes you uncomfortable,” Mike said, his grin disappearing. “But hey, it was good to see you. We really should go for a drink sometime. Catch up a little. I bet you’ve got some exciting stories to tell.”

“We, erm, we should. Yeah.”

“Well, I think they’ll be needing me at the back now. Hope you find something good.” Mike left the aisle, but before he turned the corner, he pointed to the left, just for a moment. Then he was gone to let John die of shame in peace.

Though instead of doing that, John curiously took a few steps forward. There was no one around now to see him pick up the dvd box that Mike seemed to have pointed at. The Best of GOFFT.

At least it had no cheesy title like A Study in Penis or Scandalous in Belgravia. And the cover was black with some blue velvet curtains long enough to be draped over the floor, which was also a lot better than those staring, somewhat creepy men showing off their bodies. In fact, the girl at the desk upstairs might even be unaware of what it was if he chose to rent it.

Still, if it belonged to this section…

After dinner, John watched a rather crappy program on the telly, the dvd box waiting on the coffee table. Now and then he glanced at it curiously, realising that if he wanted to have a look at it that night he’d better not put it off too long, what with work in the morning. So he decided against mindlessly browsing through the channels for another hour and got up to put the dvd in the player, feeling skeptical and excited at the same time. If this stuff didn’t do it for him, it would be something of a relief. He’d know he was absolutely straight and that these last few weeks his mind had just been playing tricks on him. Perhaps it was something everyone who had recently gotten married went through, getting inappropriate fantasies because they knew they had made a serious promise to be faithful and monogamous.

If it did work for him, well, it would just be something to wank to for tonight while his wife was out. Nothing wrong with that. When he watched women, he hadn’t actually wanted to be with them either, so it would be no different.

He nodded to himself as he poured himself a drink. He also put a box of tissues and a bottle of lube on the table, just in case, and then sat back and pressed play.

A large logo filled the screen and John snorted as he saw what “GOFFT” actually stood for. That didn’t bode well.

A gym came into view. Not a very convincing one. It seemed like someone had just taken a couple of random machines, a few weights and a single exercise ball and dumped them in a room with lots of mirrors. Well, art direction probably wasn’t a priority.

A blond man was standing in front of one of the mirrors, lifting weights. He was tall and handsome, sure, but had the kind of jawline that reminded John of dumb Americans in movies. He was clearly enjoying watching himself. Then his gaze shifted as a man stepped up behind him. Their eyes met in the mirror.

“Hi Richie,” the ginger newcomer said. “How’s it hanging?”

John stared at his TV in shock. They were actually saying that? Or had Mike pointed him to a parody, knowing John would enjoy a good laugh?

“Hey Al,” Richie answered, smirking. “What’s up?”

Al offered to help Richie and soon they were snogging up against one of the mirrors. At least that shut them up.

Both men sported some rather impressive muscles, the kind you got from hours of repetitive movements in the gym, not from any kind of honest labour or practical use. Well… He figured that some people liked that look. But why was their skin so shiny? Richie had been working out, but Al looked straight out of the locker room. Surely he couldn’t have worked up a sweat yet. John supposed it was some kind of oil to make them look… sexy?

More like… sticky. It must be really unpleasant to touch someone that slippery.

Clothes began coming off, revealing completely hairless chests, armpits and even legs. John rolled his eyes. Combined with the oil, it gave the impression that the men were made of plastic. Perhaps that did it for the fans of toys, but the only reason John was still watching, was that it was all so ridiculous it became funny.

Richie had started palming an alarmingly large bulge in Al’s boxers. They began moaning. Quite a lot more than was strictly necessary, John thought. If this were a real gym, surely an instructor or one of the other visitors would have come to see if someone was in pain.

Then Richie sank to his knees. Al supported both hands against the mirror and looked down at him with a very lewd grin. “Go on,” he said.

Slowly, while licking his lips, Richie pulled down Al’s boxers and a very large, very erect cock came into view. It was vaguely hot to look at, but the effect was somewhat spoiled by the distinct lack of hair anywhere near the pubic area.

“Lick it,” Al said and Richie did just that. It seemed a bit silly to have Al giving directions like that. As if he didn’t think Richie knew what he was there for.

And then, to John’s chagrin, instead of just enjoying it, Al kept moaning ‘lick that dick’, ‘touch it’, ‘you’re so good’, and similar things.

Richie was just moaning, so much in fact that John began wondering if there was perhaps a third person present, doing something to Richie’s genitalia. But as the camera moved, it became apparent that no one was touching him. Not even himself.

John snorted. Surely it wasn’t that great licking a cock, even if it was an unusually large one.

Suddenly Al grabbed Richie’s hair with one hand and his cock with the other, pushing it down to align with Richie’s mouth.

“Suck it,” he hissed. “Suck that dick…”

“Shut up, Al,” John muttered, rolling his eyes. He wasn’t in the least bit aroused, yet he did find himself very impressed with how much of the length Richie was able to take in. It had to be pressing down into his throat by now. Didn’t this guy have a gag reflex? In his university days John had had a girlfriend who had been quite eager to try taking him as deep as she could, which had resulted in quite an off-putting coughing fit and some retching. He had done what he could to comfort her, fetching water and holding her, but the mood had been spoiled for the rest of the night.

John noticed he was getting distracted by the memory and focused back on the screen. Yet very soon his respect for the guy’s oral skills gave way to slight annoyance and then boredom. How long could a blowjob last? And did Al have to keep on making those moronic comments? “Love that dick”? What did that even mean?

Finally, Al pushed Richie away. Richie stood up and there was more kissing while Al pulled his boxers down and began stroking a cock that John realised he would usually have considered quite big, but compared to Al’s it seemed just average.

As Al crouched down, John feared he would have to sit through another eternal blowjob. But instead Richie turned round, pressing his chest to the mirror. Al parted his cheeks with his hands and began licking his (also shaved) arsehole.

John raised his eyebrows. Okay, after making sure it was clean, that might actually feel good. But it was extremely weird to look how some guy was pressing his mouth to the other one’s arse. The only good thing about it was that Al’s tongue was too busy to make more of his stupid remarks. And Richie seemed to be less verbal, though his moaning seemed to have gone up almost an octave. Having a tongue in your arse must feel quite a lot better than John had initially thought.

Suddenly they had moved. John wondered if he had zoned out for a moment, or if it had really been cut so abruptly. Now they were by one of those exercise machines that seemed to be all chrome and black leather. Al lifted Richard up on it, bent his legs in an uncomfortable looking angle and then, without any kind of preparation or consideration, proceeded to push into his arse.

The sight was more scary than erotic. Al’s enormous dick kept disappearing further and further, and John actually winced. That must be extremely painful. It looked as though Richie could rip in two any moment. He wondered if horror porn was an existing genre, and then decided he didn’t want to know.

Leaning forward, he also noticed that they weren’t using a condom. No preparation, not even lube. What kind of message were they sending, showing anal sex to be so… easy? What if some poor guy who didn’t know any better thought he could just shove it in and then went and hurt his partner?

Stop being a doctor, John scolded himself. He supposed that something had been done off camera to prepare Richie for this. Maybe that’s why there was a cut as they moved. Or maybe it had even been taken care of before they began filming. A bit of a shame. John suspected that it might have been at least as interesting to watch as that tedious blowjob.

But then, how many straight pornos were realistic like that? This was just bad. But it didn’t have much to do with the fact that this were two men. He decided he didn’t have to be there for their orgasms and pressed the skip button on his remote.

The second scene started out with two guys naked on a bed, already going at each other, kissing very noisily. They did a 69 which was actually a lot more interesting than the blowjob in the gym, even though, or maybe because, the camera was not as up-close but rather hovering above the two men. One of them, however, was so hairy that for a moment John wondered if he was even human, or perhaps a sort of werebear. Apparently the porn industry was a world of extremes.

The moaning was a bit too loud and should, logically, be more muffled since both the men had their mouths quite full. But at least they weren’t talking. Then they changed position and The Bear got down on all four. Again there was no preparation (nor a condom, nor any lube) as the other man just shoved right in and began pounding. Boring…

And then the dialogue began. More of that mindless “Oh yeah,” and “Fuck me…” stuff. And lots of grunting and moaning. One of the voices sounded vaguely familiar, but it wasn’t until John realised that none of the men on the screen were actually talking that it dawned on him that the soundtrack was dubbed and that one of the moaners was in fact Al from the gym.

John hit skip as fast as he could.

The third scene was in some kind of garage. There were tires and tools and stuff and even one of those lift things for cars. The guy in the dirty overalls was quite handsome, though it seemed rather eccentric for him not to be wearing a shirt. At least he wasn’t bulging with muscles.

Then two guys in jeans and t-shirts came in. There was some tolerable dialogue about their car that the younger guy was supposed to be fixing - but there were no actual cars in sight, which seemed pretty dumb.

Apparently the job was proving harder than expected and he wouldn’t get it done on time. So of course, the largest of the two others, the one with a ragged scar down his cheek - was that make-up? It looked real - told him he would have to ‘make it up’ to them.

Who wrote this stuff? John was pretty sure they could do better. But at least the atmosphere was quite different from the last two clips. The dvd seemed to be made to let people find out what they liked. Only, so far, the company wouldn’t earn any more of his money.

The young man was soon naked and on his knees. The others were rough with him as he sucked them, but not cruel or violent. Then Scar lifted him up (the lad wasn’t exactly tiny, but that guy made it look like he weighed nothing at all) and carried him over to a stack of tires, bending him over it. To John’s surprise a bottle of lube was produced and Scar actually took the time to open him up with a couple of fingers.

All the while the other man, who was so tanned it was almost disgusting, was, of course, keeping his mouth busy. Once the lad was ready, they took turns at fucking him at both ends. John really hoped there was some off-camera cleaning going on when Scar moved from his arse up to his mouth. Otherwise… gross…

For a moment, John was worried that they might actually do a ‘double anal’, but then both men cried out and covered the poor mechanic in sticky white lines. Far too many to be realistic. John wondered what they used as substitute.

As they sloppily kissed the young guy, John seriously considered just giving up on the whole thing. It had been… fascinating… but in no way arousing. He was definitely not attracted to men.

But then the next clip started. The shot was of the foot of a bed, seen from ground level. Just a hint of polished wooden floors and then the camera moved up to show black sheets that looked like silk or some other shiny material.

John raised his eyebrows. It all looked very neat, but he was too impatient to deal with a commercial for expensive sheets. Still, he decided to give it one last chance.

The camera seemed to hover over the bed for a moment, then began to move up slowly. There was a shape under the sheets. Something long. Legs probably. The camera was moving frustratingly slow, but just before John could get annoyed and turn off the telly, there was the first hint of skin. Impossibly pale and smooth. A very well-shaped arse came into view, partly covered by the sheets which only seemed to add to its allure. Whoever was directing this bit, knew what they were doing. This was better. Not sweaty bodies and genitalia showed in your face, but a gradual revelation. Hints that left you wanting more.

John shifted a little in his chair, leaning slightly towards the screen as if he could somehow get a better angle. See more.

The camera had not stopped and now narrow hips and a slender back were visible. John had just enough time to wonder if it was possible that a scene with a woman had somehow ended up on this dvd, when he caught a glimpse of an arm and hand that were definitely male. But nothing like the other men. No bulging muscles, spray tan and oil here. Just pale, fine skin stretched over lean, subtly defined muscles. The camera passed the shoulders and John held his breath. But the face was hidden by a frankly ridiculous mess of soft, dark curls.

The camera zoomed in and there was the first sign of movement. Just a slight stirring at first, but then the curls fell to the side revealing more pale skin. And then the upper part of a face.

John vaguely registered some rather extraordinary cheekbones, before the man opened his eyes. Such eyes… Pale grey. No, blue. With a scatter of golden green. They blinked sleepily and then focused on the camera. Stared right into John’s soul.

Well, no, of course they didn’t, but that was what it felt like. John laughed nervously, trying to shake it off. He looked into those eyes and let himself just enjoy them for their unusual beauty, ignoring the stirring somewhere inside him when the man blinked, indecently slow.

The eyes receded a little as the camera zoomed out, revealing a narrow, almost alien face. John supposed the man was handsome, but in a slightly disturbing way. The eyes, the cheekbones and a feminine mouth that just shouldn’t work on a man but… it sort of did.

And then he smiled. Not one of those ‘come and get me’ smiles that John had been cringing at so far. It was a genuine, open smile. Fond. Like he was looking at someone he truly cared about. Like he had just woken up to find his lover - John - leaning in over him. The lips moved. Formed a word. There was no sound, but John was pretty sure it was ‘hello’. Such a silly thing to say. Ridiculous really. Definitely not sexy.

So why was John, for the first time while watching this wretched thing, feeling the heat pool in his stomach, moving down to his groin? Why were his pants suddenly growing uncomfortably tight?

Because it was so incredibly intimate, he realised. Not that senseless, moaned dialogue of the other scenes. There was, in fact, no sound at all. But where all the “Suck that dick” and “Fuck my arse” had only made John cringe, the mere hint of this one word had him hooked. He could not help but picture himself right there in the room with this oddly beautiful man. Believe himself the one for whom that smile was intended.

John had been so lost in this fantasy that it took him a moment to realise that the camera had moved back again. Now he could see the man’s chest as well, one of his hands resting lightly, just below the right nipple. John’s eyes flickered back and forth between the long fingers, the full lips and those piercing eyes. Where was he supposed to look? It was like one of those paintings in a museum that you could just watch for hours, never really finishing. But the hand was moving, the fingers brushing over the nipple, teasing it hard.

John licked his lips, imagining what it would feel like to kiss that nipple. It was so small. It would feel both hard and smooth against his tongue. John laughed and shook his head. This was ridiculous. He’d just watched a man be fucked at both ends and all he had felt was vaguely embarrassed. But this… Some skinny pretty boy was making eyes at him and John was barely resisting the urge to touch himself. Or at least undo his jeans to make room for his growing erection.

As if the man on the screen had read John’s thoughts, he parted his lips and… laughed…

There was still no sound, but John could easily imagine it. A soft, sensual chuckle. This bastard knew exactly what effect he was having on John. But how could he?

Well, the guy was a professional. He was a porn actor. Of course he knew that people would get aroused by watching him. But did he have to be so damn smug about it?

More teasing touches of chest and nipple. John wanted to tell the guy to get on with it. Surely this was going somewhere. Any moment now another man, or maybe two, was going to come in and put those pretty lips to good use.

But instead, the camera moved again. Down his body, but also pulling back, so his face remained in view.

A very flat stomach and then the first hint of dark coarse hair - thank god he wasn’t shaved - could be glimpsed. John capitulated and, feeling a little self-conscious, unzipped his jeans, shifting so he could pull them down a bit. He hesitated, then placed his hand on the hard bulge in his pants, rubbing lightly. That felt entirely too good, and he almost closed his eyes in relief. But then he would have missed it. That first glimpse. He gasped. The man wasn’t even hard…

All the others had been fully erect from start to finish and he had, more than once, suspected that chemicals were involved.

John wasn’t even surprised that the sight of this soft, smooth cock, just lying there, completely innocent and unapologetic was a hundred times more alluring than all those vulgar erections being flung about.

As John rubbed himself harder through the fabric, the man on the screen laughed again (screw that smug bastard. Well… maybe not…) and let his hand slide, all too slowly, down his long body.

“Get on with it,” John muttered at the screen, feeling his cheeks burn with shame as well as excitement. Well… Here he was, wanking to gay porn, so he might as well go all in. “Come on,” he whispered. “Touch yourself.”

As if the man heard him and wanted to tease, the hand hesitated a moment, then swooped down and for a moment covered the cock. John held his breath as the man closed his eyes and moved his hand and then… Yes, there it was.

Seeing the other man grow hard too, somehow made John feel less awkward about his own erection, and as the man began stroking himself slowly, John pushed his pants down and did the same.

“That’s right,” he hissed, smiling a little. “Let’s do this.”

Fuck… As if he had heard John, the man opened his eyes and then his mouth as if gasping. The pupils were dilated now, almost drowning out the pale irises. A hint of colour seemed to be creeping into the white skin, as the man played with himself, moving his hand fast, then slow, pausing, teasing.

Without wanting to, John mimicked his movements and damn if this wasn’t the best hand job he’d had in years. It didn’t even matter that it was his own hand. Groaning and rolling his hips, John found himself getting closer to the edge, hovering there. A pause, retreat. Then a slow build again, until John felt he just could not take it anymore.

John wasn’t sure how long this went on. But when the man finally tightened his grip and finished with a few rough jerks, John followed his example, biting his lips but not suppressing a moan.

“Oh, god… Yes…” And then he cried out his release with such force that surely the neighbours must have heard.

Finally he came to his senses enough to grab some tissues and clean himself up. That was… Fuck. Yes. Amazing. And all that just from seeing a man.

There was no doubt now that he could be aroused by men. Yet he knew he liked women too. More. Well… More on a certain level. But if he was honest with himself, he couldn’t remember any woman in a porn movie ever having such an effect on him. It was as though the man could still be there, on a bed in front of him, eyes closed but smiling lazily. John quickly shook his head, but the image didn’t quite leave him. Then he looked back at the telly and saw that the next scene must have started quite a while ago, as the two men there were in full action, in what looked like a forest. He quickly grabbed the remote and switched it off.

That clip he had wanked to had been so different from all the others. Maybe it was because it was just one man. Perhaps the idea of masturbation was alluring to John, because he related to what the man felt, more than being attracted to him. It didn’t mean he was gay, or well, bisexual. John tried to imagine one of the earlier guys in the same situation. Al, while he kept his mouth shut, touching himself. That would just look like… well, some chap tossing off. No. It must be that that one actor with the brilliant eyes was just really, really talented. John pulled his trousers back up, took the dvd box from the table and turned it around, wondering if he would find a name, or if people in this business would rather remain anonymous. But there was, indeed, a list of the different acts on the dvd.

'1. Tony Steed and Richard Hung. Workout.

2. B. Grizzly and Jacque Galore. Going Down.

3. Jimmy Tink, Tony Venti and S. Moran. Bodywork.

4. H. Sherwood. Awakening.’

Sherwood. Well. John almost opened his laptop to look up the name, find out if his other work was just as enticing. Then he stopped himself. Perhaps this was quite enough gay porn for one night. Maybe even for a lifetime, if the other clips were anything to go by. And if Mary saw he had been googling a male porn actor next time she borrowed his laptop, her teasing would never end.

No. He’d return the dvd tomorrow on the way to work. Or on the way back, if the rental shop wasn’t open that early. Then he could ask them for the proper version of The Man with the Golden Gun… and wouldn’t be tempted to play that one clip again the following night.

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Aniana: Love this. Thanks for the share.

Jessie Dean: This was a very touching book. The writing was great and I loved the characters and plot.

marilyn: I love how Tate has a mate as well. I love foxes. They are so cute. I bet the dragon will be mated to Bridgett

marilyn: I am so happy ivy is back. Even though her name is saffron now.

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