Chapter 2: I Can't Live Without Her
Silver growled as he threw another item to the floor causing it to smash into many tiny pieces. Just listening to it smash left him more agitated enough to break another item. At that moment nothing could stop him, not unless they wanted to be hurt for he was beyond upset, he felt torn and hurt by how she would just leave like that.
Silver then placed his hands on his head and lifted his head up until it was facing the ceiling, then without warning he released a loud agonising wail that probably could be heard from a distance but he cared not. Not after what transpired, it was too painful for words and it left him shaking in anger and sorrow.
It wasn't fair! He had just been able to meet her face to face after all these years, and now she was gone within a few hours. Gone from his sight without his knowledge just like before and it began to leave a tear in his heart. The plan had been simple, even Serena agreed that it would work. He was patient even so what went wrong? What went wrong?! It didn't make sense to the kitsune one bit.
She was suppose to recognise the item and know that he had been looking for her, but she didn't. Instead she acted like she didn't know him and then fainted once she found out about him being a yōkai. And he knew for a fact that even though had she hid it well, he was could smell fear radiating off her in waves. Making him feel sick to his stomach. Maybe she wasn't the right girl he was looking for and had the same scent just to throw him off?
No it couldn't be possible, even when she was a child he could tell that it was her beyond a shadow of a doubt. How Silver knew left him baffled but he knew, some part of him was screaming that it was her. However knowing this didn't make him feel any better about the situation.
Even without his master's knowledge, the fox had run out of the shrine to see her when she was little. Once he found her his heart had melted from seeing her innocent smile, despite the fact that it was only visible to some people. But he cared not since Silver had hoped that she would meet him and maybe just maybe, she might end up smiling at him as well but alas it wasn't going to happen any time soon. Part of him was upset when she vanished without a trace and didn't know why. Years had then gone past leaving him wanting to cower in a corner and weep for losing her. However that changed once saw her at the market area two months ago, the same day when Mikage had suddenly asked him to get some food for the shrine, it was the day Silver had realised that she was back and he wasn't sure of how long it would be before she left once more. The thought left pain flowing through his chest, it was uncomfortable and made him sick. Was he ill or something?
Questions left him feeling a weight had been forced on his shoulders: Had she forgotten him? If so why? Had he done something wrong?
His mind went to the boy she would play with, that red haired boy who would always wear long sleeved tops and long trousers that almost made him trip up. Silver would often have this feeling that he had met the boy before, but where was the question. A thought then came to mind; the boy disappeared the day before Lily had. So was there a connection to that? Did something happen to the boy?
Silver looked up at the window that showed the full moon as he laid on the floor, seeing it left him empty for he felt that he had lost everything that day five hundred years ago… all because of his brother's rage. If his brother had just took the time to listen and understand, would he still be here?
"Sitting here isn't going to make me feel any better… I need some air" Silver sighed as he sat up. Placing a hand to his face in order to mask his sorrow, his ears twitched when his door slid open. Silver didn't need to look to know who was looking at him, so instead he stayed silent.
"I'm sorry Silver, I didn't know that was going to happen" Mikage said softly as he walked in the room. Silver could hear the God's footsteps pause once he takes in the room's state; the kitsune peeked at Mikage with one eye. The man in question frowned at the mess and looked at Silver with a disapproving gaze.
"Silver… This isn't going to make your pain go away. I know it wasn't what you wanted but-"
"But what Mikage? She doesn't know me! I barely know anything about her to know whether this was going to happen. The only reason I agreed to wait was because her grandmother had said it would be aright but it's not!" Silver snapped as he sat up. His haori was crumpled from the tear stains and resting on it wrong, however for once that was the last thing he cared about. He just wanted air, to get away from this place he called home for a few hours.
"Where are you going Silver?" Mikage's worried voice was almost on deaf ears as Silver opened the door to the porch.
"I need air! I can't stay here knowing that I can't breathe… this is too much" Silver's voice shook from grief; he needed to be alone for a while.
"No Silver don't! Don't do anything reckless! I know you are hurting but it takes time-" Silver turned to glare at his father figure with slitted eyes, seeing this startled Mikage but it was understandable given what Silver had endured. Silver at that moment was beyond upset and this man was holding him back from having any peace. Were it up to him, Silver would have tried to see her when she was younger, would have tracked her down once she vanished in order to see her. Would have tried to keep her safe even if it meant watching her from the shadows. But that moment had been lost because of them telling him to be patient and he was paying for it now.
"I need air Mikage, I can't stay here in this house" Silver said as he walked towards the door.
"Silver stop!" Mikage ordered, part of him grimaced from having to use sacred word binding but it had to happen. Silver would thank him later on.
Silver feeling his body had stopped without his permission cursed loudly. He turned is head to Mikage and glared.
"Let me go now!" Silver snapped.
"Not until you calm down, if you go towards Lily without thinking about how it would effect her then do you think she would begin to trust you?" Mikage asked. Silver hated that Mikage was right about it but he wasn't going to allow himself to stay any longer.
"I did what I set out to do" Silver snapped, Mikage kept his eyes on the kitsune as he glared back at his master. "I wanted to say thank you and I did so there's no reason for me to be here anymore"
"What are you saying Silver? I thought you wanted answers to know why your past is a blank?" Mikage asked.
"I want to be free of the contract, release me now" Silver ordered his father figure. Mikage however just remained looking at Silver.
"No" was the God's reply. "Not when you are acting impulsively. You're not thinking straight and you are hurt"
"Like hell I am not!" Silver snapped now storming over to Mikage and grabbed his collar, this forced Mikage in the air thanks to the kitsune's inhuman strength.
"I want to be free, is that so hard old man? Just let me go" Silver glared at Mikage while the God kept his eyes on Silver. Silver almost loathed how calm Mikage was towards him. Why wasn't this man yelling at him?
"Silver put me down please" Mikage asked Silver softly."Not until you let me go, let me go now please" Silver snapped at his master while his eyes turned to slits again making him look wild.
"I cannot do that" The God said in the same soft tone.
"Why not? It's easy just do it already! I am tired of being trapped here knowing that there's nothing left for me here"
"That is not true, Silver just give it more time"
"That's what you always say Mikage! Give it more time, it won't be for much longer! How much longer Mikage? I am growing weary of this constant waiting. Just let me go since there's nothing left for me here!" Silver snapped as he made Mikage go up more. It didn't take a genius to know that Silver was hurting badly from what had happened, but it wasn't going to be long until Mikage would have to retire. He didn't want to upset Silver with the sudden news, but now that Lily had arrived back in Japan her grandmother had given him her permission to allow Lily to stay in the shrine. Yes it would upset Lily to know that it was a deal that went on from behind her back, but in the end the young girl would understand. Now he just needed Silver to be patient a little bit longer.
"There is, it just won't be for much longer…" Mikage placed his hand on Silver's head causing Silver to jolt and drop his master. Mikage landed painfully on his back but was relieved to know that there were no major injuries.
"You keep saying that! But I have had enough just let me go!" Silver roared before walking out the shrine.
"Silver get back here now!" Mikage yelled but there was no reply. Knowing this left Mikage worried, what if Silver tried to something dangerous? The last thing Lily would want is to be stalked but an upset kitsune.
Silver stomped down the steps of the mountain, not caring if he was scaring anyone away. He had, had enough with all this. He just wanted to leave and never come back, after all seeing her reject him and forgetting about knowing him had left Silver wondering what was the point in waiting for something to never happen.
Silver moved his right hand to cover his face and took in deep shallow breaths as the pain got too much, no he would not cry, he would not break down. He was a strong yōkai who never cried. Not for anyone and he wouldn't start now. No matter how frustrated he was.
Silver began to jump on a few building while going in a random direction, he didn't care about the destination, he just wanted to go somewhere quiet and peaceful.
Just then the scent of the girl who hurt him caught his nose. Oh no not again! Silver didn't know why but he was drawn to her scent. It was like a drug that he could not escape from and it was driving him mad. Silver knew that he had to escape somehow. He would not be a slave to this need… so why was he at the old apartment that she once lived in?
Silver jumped so he was on the opposite roof facing her old home, looked like someone was living there now which left him slightly disappointed.
Silver immediately spotted a male with dark red hair who suddenly entered his line of sight. So this was the new owner? He looked no older than Silver which took the kitsune by surprise, probably was living with a parent so there was no point jumping to conclusions.
"…I assure you everything is alright, don't worry" Silver's ears caught the red head's voice and watched, finally deciding to move away the kitsune turned his head to leave.
"How do I know that when there's a stalker after me?!" Silver froze to the spot; his ears twitched from hearing her voice and immediately felt mixed emotions. It couldn't be her but he couldn't forget the sound of her voice. Dare he turn around to look at her?
"I won't let the yōkai break into the house. This house has an 'enter once invited' spell thanks to your grandmother remember. No one except I can get into this place" the red haired male said as he patted Lily's head, seeing this made Silver frown at how close he was to Lily. However that changed once he saw Lily's eyes, guilt flooded Silver as he saw fear in them. Did he go too far? Silver felt his instincts tell him to go and comfort her, to say that he was sorry but held back. A part of him felt like a coward as it took over instincts.
He really wanted her to not be scared of him but how though? Silver paused as he saw Lily look at the window and froze.
Lily was chatting to Shinjirou about the stalker despite the fact that he was trying to reassure her. But it wasn't working she knew it wouldn't be long until he found her.
"I won't let the yōkai break into the house. This house has an 'enter once invited' spell thanks to your grandmother remember. No one except I can get into this place" Shinjirou reminded her with a smile on his face. Lily almost relaxed until she felt something nearby.
"Oh no don't tell me…" Lily went to the window and looked round the area until something red caught her eye, immediately Lily went rigid from seeing the boy only what surprised her was his ears and tail… oh hell no!
"I'm being stalked by a kitsune?! It's no wonder he was sniffing me!" Lily mentally panicked before a loud scream escaped her lips. Shinjirou instinctively went to her side before looking up to see why she was screaming. His eyes went wide from seeing a red haired kitsune, the worst part- Lily had smelt of this guy and he was a high level yōkai!
"Lily stay away from the window!" Shinjirou said as he pulled her away from the window and closed the curtains to avoid the fox from seeing her.
This was going to be trouble and he wasn't sure if he could handle this one by himself.
Silver didn't know why but he felt his heart had been punched cruelly. Seeing Lily more scared was like a slap to his face and he wasn't sure if he could handle it. Not wanting to stay any longer Silver left to go into the red district to drink himself into a stupor or maybe he could just by a bottle and go somewhere secluded. Maybe that would end his misery for a bit.
Without wasting time Silver jumped away from the roof and left to find an entrance to the World Over Yonder.
Little Lily looked up from her bed and giggled at the hand that touched her cheek.
"Your funny!" Lily said with a wide smile before moving her small hands to pat a pair of red furry ears. She heard a small chuckle causing her to look up. The face was a little distorted so she couldn't tell who it was, however a hand moved to stroke her left cheek.
"Shouldn't you be asleep little one?" the male voice asked lightly as he looked at her.
"I want to play!" Lily pouted cutely making the male chuckle. Her eyes went to a red furry tail behind the male and grabbed it; this caused him to jump before relaxing from her sudden touch. His eyes softened at how adorable she was, to think that this girl was the one who grow up and to save his life.
"Alright but for a few minutes, you have kindergarten in the morning" he said softly as he stroked her cheek. Her skin was soft to the touch; it left him smiling at how playful and innocent she truly was. She was only four and she was trusting him already, not many would do that and here she was: reducing him to being docile and gentle. If anyone saw this then he was sure that his reputation would go through the mud. However at this moment he cared not when it came to her. For this sweet child he would do anything. Was this love? He wasn't sure.
"Yay!" Lily squealed with glee as she pulled his ears lightly making him blush but smiled regardless. He leaned closer to kiss her forehead making her giggle.
"Nii-san!" Lily giggled before patting the sides of his face in a fragile manner. He moved his hands to touch hers and smiled softly.
"Nii-san huh?" He asked playfully before kissing her nose making her squeal again. "Then that means you are my little sister right?" he was happy to have her call him that, given that it was his protective instincts. Her aunt was having a shower so that meant he could see how Lily was. It had been a cycle the pair had developed since he visited her aunt's house once night. At first Lily was startled until he smiled at her. Something about it reminded her of something but paid no heed, seeing him tap the glass with a nervous smile left her confused. She had approached him wondering why he was even at her aunt's house in the first place.
"Why are you here?" she asked him.
"I am a little lost and I need some shelter from the rain, Can I stay here for a bit please?" and that was the start of how they met. Lily could feel some part of her trusted him enough to let him in. it was like the boy she met at the river, they both had this kind aura surrounding them leaving her happy. We're they brothers or something?
Lily patted his ears again and watched his tail move from side to side. She was having a lot of fun playing with his appendages that she grew tired; Lily then started to slip into a deep sleep as he stroked the tiny girl's cheek softly until he was sure that she was asleep. Yes he would treasure her smile and playful behaviour.
He just hoped that they could stay like this even as she grew up.
Silver woke up to feel disorientated. Where was he? And why was his room different? The kitsune was sure that he was outside drinking sake by a river before passing out. No… he wasn't sitting; that's for sure. No Silver was walking before he had fainted from drinking too much sake, that he had suddenly collapsed and blacked out the moment his head hit hard pebbles. He was sure that the bottle had smashed to pieces from his stumble… what a waste of good sake. Silver could feel a lot pain in his head to his surprise but then again he was drinking almost a whole bottle. So it must be the effects of a hang over, it was official he was never going to do that again if he was outside. He was sure that he had bruised something along the way, part of it was his pride for sure if a yōkai or a Deity had caught him passed out on the floor like an idiot. Mikage would never let him live it down but so what? It's not like anything would change from enduring a lecture, to him it was like a slap on the wrist that held no power over him truthfully except leaving him feeling like scum on the earth. Not surprising given all the attitude he had to deal with, maybe it was better to leave this area since there was nothing left for him here anymore. All he wanted to do was find the girl who haunted him since the day she saved him, however that changed and left him disheartened to even think about trying to patch things up with her. To help her realise what she had done had changed him slightly.
"Nii-san!" Silver groaned from the memory of hearing that sweet girl's voice. It felt like a dream that left him more miserable than happy. That little girl was gone and there was nothing he could do to bring her back.
The door opened to causing his ears to flick about in order to help him find out who it was that entered the room. It was strange since the person wasn't making any noise leaving him uncomfortable. Now that he thought about it, he never did find out where he ended up waking in. He hoped that he hadn't done anything stupid and winded up at the Red District, the last thing he needed was a rant from his master- oh Gosh his master was going to give him hell when he came back. Silver knew that he had deliberately disobeyed an order and now was going to pay for it later on.
Silver moaned as his ears started to ring, once the sound of something touched the floor beside him. He slowly brought his hands up in order to cover his delicate ears only to pause, as he noticed that his hands were bandaged. How did he hurt his hands? That was a blur.
Then without warning a hand went on to his forehead making him tense, the scent of blossom and the ocean hit his nose causing him to look to where the owner of the hand was. Silver at that moment had hoped that it wasn't who he thought it was, but alas fate refused to be kind to him this week.
His eyes were blurry but he could make out her features without having to see properly.
"Don't talk, just rest" Lily said sternly as she placed a cold compress on his forehead. Silver groaned at the feel of the wet item but he didn't hate it, in fact he welcomed the item knowing that it would help somehow with his head ache.
"What happened to my head? I was sure that it was a hangover" Silver commented as he looked up. Lily however pursed her lips from hearing his mental question.
"I found you out cold by the river bleeding" Lily replied quietly as to avoid hurting his ears. Silver looked at her oddly.
Seven hours before
By the time class had almost ended, Lily immediately became tense once again from the thought of having that kitsune coming after her. Call it paranoia but she didn't like horror and she definitely hated stalkers, to her they had no life and developed unhealthy obsessions. Most of the time she kept bugging Shinjirou during class and always checked the windows, until her teacher scolded her for not paying attention. Lily ignored her classmates as they laughed at her from being told off, that was until their teacher noticed her unease and took her outside.
It was then Lily had to confess her sudden change of behaviour; just hearing the cause had left the teacher baffled. To think yesterday Lily had been stalked and was too scared to go outside without having someone with her. Surely anyone would be scared to know that they were being stalked, seeing that she was not going to stop panicking the teacher had decided to give her some after school work until her friend picked her up. Lily was partially relieved to know that her teacher was kind enough to help.
"Thank you very much Miss Fila" Miss Fila smiled and patted Lily's head lightly.
"No worries, just tell me about what is wrong. A teacher's job is to help their students alright?" Miss Fila winked before allowing Lily back into class. The teacher then scolded the class for being insensitive and ordered detention as a result. Lily almost snorted at how they reacted, but hey they had it coming.
Now that class had ended, Lily had taken her bag and left while the others had to suffer. As she walked through the streets, Lily fished out a small blank piece of paper and channelled her energy into it. Within seconds the paper changed into a dove and began to fly around her. Lily smiled knowing that she had an extra pair of eyes, just in case her stalker came about.
Now continuing her pace Lily began to admire the market place as it led to the river. It was a peaceful day and allowed her with some time to think about things as Shinjirou went ahead of her to the music studio. She couldn't blame him because it was something he loved doing and if it she was doing a job that allowed her to feel like he did, then it would be a blessing.
"Shrrriiiiieeeeeek!" her dove cried out in a hollow echoed voice as it started to fly ahead of her, seeing it act like this made her frown before rushing to catch up with it. Seeing it act like this meant that something was wrong, was someone in trouble? Following her bird led her to the river edge leaving her confused. Who would be stupid enough to go there?
Lily immediately stopped and gasped at what she was looking at. Her hands flew to her mouth as she started in horror of what she was looking at.
There lying on the small but hard pebbles was the yōkai that had been stalking her, only he was passed out with a bottle of what appeared to be strong alcohol lying in pieces, just smelling the strong alcohol made her gag and tried to cover her nose. Lily moved closer to see what was wrong with him, however her dove began to land by his head. This allowed Lily to see what it was trying to show her; to her surprise she saw blood which had been flowing down the side of his head. How long had he been laying on the floor? Surely it wasn't that comfortable and given how he was positioned, it wasn't deliberate. He needed help to her dismay but knew better to leave someone who was injured. It was against Lily's moral background and would never forgive herself for turning a blind eye to someone who was in need of help. Lily looked round to see if she could ask for help but saw none.
Lily grimaced now knowing what she had to do and it would mean him being in a lot of pain once she got back.
Just as soon as she tried to pick him up but his under arms, her eyes went to a leave that immediately fell out. Lily's eyes widened from the idea.
Silver frowned at what she did but was slightly grateful for her help. Instead of thanking her, he turned is head to the side in order to rest. Sadly Lily pinched his cheek leaving him annoyed forced himself to look at her.
"Look I didn't have to help you but it did, I could have easily let you lie there to suffer but I didn't. The least you can do is be thankful-" his glare froze her enough to make the words vanish all together.
"I spent five hundred years looking for you to say thank you and yet you act like you don't know me. Who wouldn't be pissed off?" Silver's low words stunned her. Her eyes narrowed before picking up her tray.
"Let me know when you cool off" Lily said bluntly before leaving the room, while being careful to avoid slamming the door which could hurt his ears a lot more than ever. Silver bit back a curse and felt himself become miserable. This wasn't what he wanted, what he had in mind. He just wanted to wallow in self pity without anyone giving him a guilty conscience, only it back fired and she ended up saving him. Mostly from embarrassment that was for sure. In truth he felt lost and alone, there wasn't anyone he could talk to about this but then again he didn't want to talk to anyone. He was use to being alone so why bother?
The door opened again after ten minutes and Silver could see Lily was holding a bucket with another towel. Lily silently took the soaked towel out of the bucket and wrung it out before dabbing his head lightly. Immediately he felt relief until his stomach started to hurt… here came the best part and it was going to be embarrassing.
Sensing Silver's unease, Lily took the spare bucket that was lying beside her and lifted him up by the back. Silver groaned before heaving out last nights food. He groaned once more after he became light headed. That was horrible.
Lily helped him lay back down after placing another pillow behind his head. Next she took out a clean tissue and dabbed it on his mouth silently. Silver looked at her with weary eyes before moving his hand to grab her right arm.
Lily turned her head to see how vulnerable he was, just by looking at her it left Lily feeling sad for him.
"What ever provoked you to pull that stunt yesterday… don't do it again" Lily said bluntly, Silver just looked at her before placing her arm close so he could press his lips to her hand. Lily blinked at the thoughtful gesture and noticed that he was slipping out of consciousness.
At that moment Lily felt a small smile bloom on her face, her eyes softened at how innocent he was as she moved a stray hair out of his face. Maybe he wasn't that bad after all. He was just misunderstood and ended up acting without thinking.
"Your welcome, just get some rest" Lily said softly as she continued to dab the towel on his forehead.