How Do You Love Someone

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen:

A few days after their honeymoon, they had gotten back into saving the world routine. Jenna and Ryder were hoping that Bobby would be done with their request soon.

While they were all at their motel room, Bobby had walked in with an envelope. He sat at the table and waited until he had the necessary people's attention.

"What is it Bobby?" asked Dean looking up from cleaning his gun. Sam had looked at him from his laptop. They were currently looking for a hunt.

Jenna and Ryder knew what he was doing there, but they didn't want to tell the boys until it was done. Ryder let Lilith play with her toys on the bed while they went to sit at the table with Bobby.

"Well the girls wanted to get some papers for themselves now that they would be staying here. So," he pulled out Jenna's papers, "here's your birth certificate, social security card, and driver's license."

Jenna looked at her papers, and saw that her birth certificate said 'Jenna Barnes' including all her information. Her license and social, however, said 'Jenna Winchester,' which she smiled at. She was a Winchester now.

"Here are yours," he said giving Ryder's hers. "Yours was a little tricky, you know with your name change, but I had a buddy of mine that did it with no trouble."

Sam looked confused, name change? "What does that mean?" He got up and looked at her papers.

Instead of Bobby answering, Ryder did. "Well, since I go by 'Ryder' which is my last name, I wouldn't have another last name to put on my birth certificate, and social. Having those say 'Rain Ryder' and my license say 'Ryder Winchester' would be very confusing." She shrugged.

"Which is why your maiden name is now 'Singer.'"

Ryder felt happy that Bobby gave her his name. She felt honored. "Thank you, Bobby." Bobby brushed it off like it was no big deal, but he was happy she was nonetheless. "Oh! What about that other thing?"

Bobby had to take a moment to remember what she was talking about, when it clicked. He pulled out another piece of papers for her. "Here's Lily's. 'Lily Rayne Winchester.'" Ryder didn't want it to say her actual name. It would bring about a whole bunch of awkward questions she wasn't ready for.

He left a little while after that, having a few hunts of his own to do.


It was early in the morning, and everyone was still asleep when Sam's phone goes off alerting that he has a message. Sam doesn't hear it, and continues to sleep. Ryder heard it, and checks the message. It had a location.

She didn't want to think about the seals or trials or anything in between. She thought about the last thing that happened before their wedding. She remembered Alastair, and Anna, and then Ruby taking her, then Castiel and Uriel showing up. She thought back to the episode, and realized the conversation between Castiel, Uriel, and Dean were supposed to continue, not stop. She sighed, and checked the time on the phone. 6:13am. Time to get Anna.

She wakes everyone up, and reminds them about Anna and Ruby.

They all shower, dress, eat, then drive off to Anna. By nightfall, they arrive at a cabin. Jenna remembered this from the show, and then quickly realized that Castiel and Uriel were going to show up. They walk in, and see Ruby standing in the middle of the room looking bored. Anna was sitting on the couch looking uncomfortable.

Uriel and Castiel should be here any moment, and they need to be prepared. Ryder holds onto Lilith tightly, and looks into the room for anything that could raise questions. Nothing.

"About time you show up." Ruby says. She spots Ryder and Jenna and inwardly groans. She was hoping that the brothers would just dump them somewhere and move on. At least then she would go about her plans without having to worry about some tramp messing with her end goal.

Ryder really wanted to put the bitch in her place, but she calmed herself down. Remember the plan, remember the plan, she kept saying to herself. After a few moments, she was better, still pissed, but not so pissed that she would kill her.

Jenna noticed that something was going on with Ryder, and was a little sad that she wouldn't talk to her. She had been waiting for her to say something, but so far nothing. What she would give to know what was going on in her friend's head at that moment.

Sam and Dean were too busy focusing on the issue before them to worry about Ryder. Before anyone could say anything further, the door bursts open, and in comes Castiel and Uriel. Ryder still holding Lilith, stands where she was off to the side of the room waiting for the inevitable.

"Why do you want her?" asked Dean.

"Get out of our way.'' orders Uriel stepping closer.

Dean moves to stand in front of Anna, "Hold on. I know she was tapping into your angel radio, but that's not enough to kill her."

Castiel stays silent through it all, instead he looks around the room as if he's trying to locate something. He felt it again. That disturbance in the room. He knew it was here, but he couldn't locate it.

"Don't worry, I'll be gentle."

If she didn't know what this was all about, Jenna would find that very creepy and a little disturbing.

"Anna's an innocent girl. You can't kill her." Sam spat out. The nerve of these angels. If this was how the angels were, he could only imagine how God would be.

"She's far from innocent." Castiel informs still looking around.

"What does that mean?"

"It means she's worse then that abomination you have with you. Now step aside."

Dean shakes his head. He didn't like the way things were going, and was regretting having Jenna and Lily there. The way things have gone, he knew Ryder would be here whether he said anything or not, but this was no place to have a child.

"No, go find yourself another one."

"Who's going to stop us? You two? Your wives? Or this demon whore?" Uriel flicks his wrist, and throws Ruby against the wall.

If it wasn't for the fact that it was Uriel that did that, Ryder would seriously ask him if he could teach her how to do that. Dean pushes Jenna and Anna close to Ryder, and attacks Uriel. Jenna remembers what Anna does, and was wishing that she would just do it already.

"Cas, please stop." Sam says, not before Castiel knocks him out.

Castiel, you are a heartless dick, thinks Ryder.

Uriel goes to punch Dean, and before long, a white light engulfs the room, and Uriel and Castiel disappear.

Dean looks around, and sees Jenna and Ruby on the floor. He was going to help Ruby up, but remembered Jenna's words, and that Jenna comes first. Ruby sees that Dean was coming to her to help her, and almost wants to jump up in joy that she was finally getting Dean to trust her, and then deflates when he goes to help Jenna. Stupid bitch!

Ruby forgets about Dean, and then goes for the next best thing, Sam. She remembered seeing one of the angels knocking him out. She gets to her feet, but stops dead in her tracks when she sees that the other bitch is kneeling over him. She wants to pull out her hair at that point. What the hell is going on?! This is not how it's supposed to be!

Sam begins to stir. Dean goes into the back room, and watches as Anna marks up sigils. He figures out that there was more to Anna then any of them knew.


Telling everyone that they needed to find somewhere that was more safer was the easy part. Trying to fit everyone in the car to head to Bobby's was another issue. They came to the conclusion that Ruby just take Anna to Bobby's would be better, because none of the others were going to risk Lilith's safety just to fit Anna in the car.

By the next morning, everyone arrived tired and hungry. As they were making their way down to the panic room, Ryder stopped. If she was right, then there would be trouble if she went down there. Dammit!

Sam saw her stop walking. "Ryder? Is everything okay?" He could tell something was bothering her, and wished that she would tell him.

Ryder wasn't going to let anyone know. She nodded. "Yeah, I'm just going to keep Lily up here with me while you guys do what you need to." She could see him wanting to protest. "Don't worry. I remember this from the show. Nothing bad is going to happen." She kisses him, and heads for the library. Before she leaves the room, she turns back. "Just for the sake of not wasting time, call Pamela; she'll help."

Sam joins the others even though he wanted nothing more than to stay with her.


Ryder sits at Bobby's desk watching Lilith play with her toys on the floor in front of her. She had so many things on her, and nothing were making her feel better. What would've happened if she went into the panic room with Lilith? Would they be able to get out? Would Ruby be able to tell what Lilith was? Was she really who she thought she was? She threw her hands up in defeat. Now that everyone was downstairs preoccupied with Anna, it would be a perfect time to try.

She stepped around the desk and picks up Lilith. She looks around one last time to make sure no one was there. Nothing. She takes in a deep breath, and whispers to her daughter, "Christo." Ryder gasps at what she sees. Lilith's eyes for a brief moment turns black. She was right. Her daughter was a demon.

"Momma," Lilith mumbles, and puts her head on her mommy's chest and closes her eyes. Lilith could tell that something was bothering her mommy. She wished that her mommy wouldn't be sad anymore.

"It's okay, baby, mommy's here." Ryder soothes her. A million more thoughts invaded her mind. She closed her eyes, and wished that it wasn't true. But it was. Her daughter was a demon, and she had a feeling she knew who it was.


Pamela arrives and goes down to the panic room after saying hello to Ryder. A shiver went down her spine as she walks passed the room Ryder was in to go downstairs. What the hell was that?

Jenna goes upstairs to join Ryder. Something was bothering her, and she really wished she would talk to her. They talked about everything to each other before they came here, but now they hardly talked. She guessed that now that they had other people that loved and cared about them, there was no reason for them to be the only people that they talked to. She just wished that wasn't the case.

Even though Jenna loved Dean with all she had, she still loved Ryder just as much. She walked into the library and saw that Ryder was smiling.

"Ryder?" Ryder looks up at her from playing with Lilith. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She thought back to the situation that was going on in the basement. "Do you think this all a good idea?" Ryder nods to the basement.

Jenna looked at her confused not knowing what she was talking about.

Ryder sighed. "You know what kind of problems that happen that Anna causes. Do you really think it's a good idea that she get her grace back?"

Jenna knew what she was talking about. "Those things only happened after the apocalypse happened. Without that Anna would have no reason to go back to kill Mary and John. She would never know that Sam's Lucifer's vessel. It'll all comes down to whether or not the apocalypse happens."

Ryder shook her head. "No, it comes down to whether or not I finish the trials."

"Speaking of which. What are you going to do about the second trial?" They had been putting this off for some time, because the closer they get to finishing the trials, the closer Ryder's death would come.

Ryder was thinking about the same thing. She knew she was going to complete all three, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized she was going to die. She wasn't going to be here with Sam and Lilith when this was all done. Thinking of her life with Sam and her daughter made her think of the life she saw the brothers have. Remembering the timeline she saw, she realized that she couldn't stop doing the trials no matter how much she loved them.

"I don't know. I obviously won't be able to save Bobby since he hasn't died. So I don't know who I'm supposed to save."

"We'll think of something." Jenna said patting her knee. She just hoped that she was right.


Jenna went back down to join the others. She stepped inside just in time to see the lights shatter when Anna cried out. Everyone, but her and Ruby were panicking. She wasn't too worried since this would all be over soon. She thought it was times like this where she wished she didn't know what was going to happen, because then she wouldn't be so bored. When she thought about it, she was glad she did, otherwise she wouldn't know what Ruby really wanted.

Jenna could see that Dean was worried about Anna. She thought back to the episode, and realized that this was the episode that Anna and Dean would've had sex. She felt herself grow angry with jealousy. If Anna tried anything, she was going to wish she never fell to begin with. She calmed herself down. She knew Dean wasn't the cheating type. He may have been with a lot of women, but once he found someone he was loyal. Besides Anna could try all she wanted, but in the end Dean was hers.

Anna shot up from the bed looking incredibly calm. She looked at Pamela and thanked her.

"It was very helpful. I remember now." She said looking at everyone.

Dean didn't like that look very much. He had a feeling that whatever she was going to say wasn't going to be good.

"Remember what?" asked Sam.

"Who I am." Anna got up from the bed.

"I'll bite; who are you?" asked Dean.

"I'm an angel."

Yep. Dean was right, this wasn't good at all.


Ryder was making lunch for everyone. She knew that they would all be coming up any moment now. She heard the commotion downstairs and she realized that right about now, Anna should've remembered who she was.

Ryder brings in sandwiches, soda, and chips for everyone. She feeds Lilith, and waits.

Ten minutes later, everyone makes their way upstairs. Dean sees the food, and gives his silent thanks to Ryder and eats. He was a bit shocked at what they learned. Anna was an angel. A freaking angel! He really didn't like that. After meeting the other two angels who were complete assholes, he wasn't very inclined to meet another.

Anna could sense that everyone was uncomfortable around her, even more from Ruby.

"It's okay, I'm not like the others." Anna didn't want anyone to be weird around her, but she couldn't really blame them.

"I don't find that very comforting." Ruby says keeping her distance.

"Well, you could always leave." Ryder says looking up from her book. "It's not like we need you."

"Ryder." says both Sam and Jenna. Sam knew she didn't like Ruby, but he couldn't deny she was useful. Jenna on the other hand wasn't in the mood to break up the fight, since she would be only one who could pull her out. She was hoping that now that Sam was her husband, she could give that responsibility to him.

Ruby ignored them. She glared at her. Regardless if she was scared of Sam's whore, she wasn't going to back down when they were in a room with everyone else. She had to keep up appearances.

"If anyone isn't needed it's you. You've hardly done anything here, but get in the way." In my way she wanted to say. Ryder heard those unspoken words. "So why don't you leave and let us grown ups get back to work!" Ruby yelled balling her fists.

Sam wanted to say something, but the look on his wife's face told him that nothing was going to happen.

Dean thought the whole situation was amusing. Finally! He was going to see Ryder in action. He just wished he had some popcorn. Oh well, he'd just have to settle with the food Ryder made them all.

Ryder chuckled. She set the book down marking her place. She stood up and walked up to Ruby. She smiled when she saw the fear in her eyes. Good.

"Do you want to try that again? I didn't quite believe that, did you?" Without waiting for an answer, Ryder went back to her place on the couch and continued her book.

Dean was seriously disappointed.


Anna went on explaining her fall. Jenna and Ryder tuned out the conversation. They had problems of their own. Jenna wanted this whole thing dealt with without having to worry about Anna making a move on her husband. She trusted Dean not to do anything, but she still had her insecurities. Ryder was thinking about the second trial. Who the hell was she supposed to save?

When they all came to the conclusion that they had to get Anna's grace back, Sam went on to explain what he found out about a meteor falling to earth about nine months before Anna would've been born. The plan was to set out early in the morning to look for the grace.

By nightfall, everyone settled in their respective rooms. Ryder turned over expecting Sam to be in the bed with her, but when she felt the side Sam should've been she felt nothing. She got out of bed, checking on Lilith from an old crib Bobby had, she walked downstairs. She heard voices coming from the library that sounded like Sam's, and...Ryder wanted to yell out and burst in on them, but before she walked any further, she calmed herself down. Remember the plan.

"Sam, you know how. You know what you have to do." pushed Ruby.

Sam shakes his head. "No, I'm not doing that. Not anymore."

"Then you better hope that your angel gets her juice back." She walks off, but not before Ryder pulls her back.

"Keep trying to get him to drink blood, and I will kill you." Ryder grits her teeth. She was trying so hard to stick with her plan, but they were nearing the end, and she knew what would happen.

Ruby doesn't say anything, and just walks off. We'll see about that.


Dean was sitting on the hood of his car, just thinking and drinking a beer. He couldn't believe what had been happening. He just wish things were normal for them. Just going from state to state killing monsters, then do it all over again. May not be the greatest 'normal', but he enjoyed it. He didn't have to deal with angels, demons, seals, Lucifer. Dean didn't want to admit it, but he was really hoping that Ryder would be able to close off Hell.

A lot of their trouble would be dealt with without demons. He really wanted all this to be done and over with. Now that he had Jenna, should he continue hunting? He never pictured himself ever doing anything else, so could he stop? Would Jenna be okay with it if he still wanted to hunt? It was a lot to ask for, and even though he knew it would be selfish, hunting was apart of him. He doesn't regret marrying her, in fact it was the best thing he's ever done, he just wanted to continue to hunt and save lives. It was what he was good at.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Anna said walking up to him. She couldn't sleep, and she wanted to check up on Dean. She really liked him, and was incredibly happy that he was so caring when they were in the panic room.

"Why would you fall?" Dean asked taking a drink from his beer. "Why be one of us?"

"There are things here that angels would never understand. There's forgiveness, loyalty, love." She looked away. "It's why I would never want to go back."

"Feelings are overrated. Being an angel is a lot better. You guys are perfect, and powerful."

"I wouldn't say that." Anna moved slowly in between Dean's legs. They leaned into each other, inches away from the other's lips. Anna wanted so much to kiss Dean, and be one with him.

Dean stopped moving, and whispered, "I love Jenna." He didn't wait for her to say anything and got off the car. He turned and saw Sam standing there. Son of a bitch!

Sam watched the whole thing and was praying that Dean would do the right thing. He loved Jenna, and didn't want to see her get hurt, especially by his manwhore of a brother. He wanted to yell at Dean as they were so close to kissing, he smiled when his brother pulled back. Dean may have whispered it to Anna, but Sam heard it. He felt a little sorry for Anna when she looked heartbroken and disappointed.

"Got anything?" Dean asked.

"Yeah."


Jenna joined the boys in the library, noticing that Ryder wasn't with them. She assumed that she went to bed. Jenna sat on the couch and listened to everyone talk about the possible location Anna's grace would be. Remembering the conversation from the show, she went to the kitchen to get some coffee.

Coming back in she heard just in time that they were all going to go to the location of a tree that was grown because of the angel's grace. She sighed. Maybe this wasn't something that was all that important, but it would save them a trip. She could always ask if they want to skip the trip to see a tree.

She shrugged her shoulders. Can't hurt to ask, so she did. The brother's looked at each other talking silently. One of these days, Jenna was going to ask them how they do it. Anna had no idea what the hell she was talking about, and there was no way Jenna was going to explain it to her. After all, it wasn't just her story to tell; the brothers and Ryder were involved.

Dean nodded for her to tell them.

"The tree would be there, and you'll find evidence that her grace was there, but it's gone."

"What do you mean?" asked Anna.

"It's already been taken." Jenna sat back on the couch sipping her coffee.

"By who?" Sam asked putting all the information away.

"Uriel. So instead of going to the tree, you can prepare yourselves against him."


The next afternoon, Jenna was making lunch for everyone before everyone went out to fight. Ryder was busy playing with Lilith in the library. Anna stepped into the kitchen and watched Jenna.

"How did you know Uriel took my grace?" she asked sitting down.

Jenna looked up at her, and sighed. "It's a long story."

"I like stories."

Jenna sighed. "It's not just mine to tell, so it wouldn't be right for me to tell you. Besides, I know you mean well, but I don't trust you."

Anna nodded her understanding. Ever since they all found out she was an angel, they've been kind of weird around her. "Because I'm an angel."

Jenna shook her head. "Because you're you."

Anna furrowed her brow in confusion. "What does that mean?" She was starting to think she knew what happened last night with Dean. She may have once been an angel, but right now she was human. Which meant if Jenna knew what happened, she could get hurt.

"If everything ends well, nothing you need to worry about." With that said, she walked off in search of Dean.


That night, Dean had told everyone about his dream, and they all gathered to think up a plan. Dean didn't want to do it, but he wasn't going to let Sam die because of Anna. He may have wanted to keep her alive, but his brother was more important. Ryder had volunteered to stay at Bobby's to watch Lilith. She remembered the fight, and there was no way she was going to risk her daughters well being.

Sam wanted her to be there with him, but had to agree that someone had to stay with their daughter. He smiled at that. He was already thinking of Lily as his own.

Jenna decided to go with them, because there was no way she was going to let Dean go without her.

Ryder walked up to Sam and embraced him. "You better come back." She knew that Sam would be okay, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something bad could happen.

Sam kissed her on top of her head, "I will."

Ryder turned to Dean and hugged him. "Be careful."

Dean really liked Ryder, so he hugged her back. "Always am."

Ryder watched them leave and went back to her daughter.


They all sat near the Impala having a beer. Dean was sad to see Anna go, but happy at the same time. Now he didn't have to worry about her trying to make a move. Normally he wouldn't have hesitated to do something, but he remembered what he had in front of him, and realized that's all he needed. He had a wife that he loved, a sister-in-law that he liked more each day, a brother who he'd die for, and a niece that was growing on him.

Sam was so damn curious about what Alastair had said about Dean, and he wanted nothing more than to ask him about it, but Hell was a sensitive subject for his brother.

"It wasn't four months you know." Dean said out of nowhere. He knew Sam heard, and even though he didn't want to talk about Hell, he knew it was time.

Sam looked at him confused. "What?"

Ryder and Jenna really didn't want to hear about it. It was hard watching it on TV, but to hear it in person was just terrible. When they first heard Dean talk about Hell to Sam, they cried along with Dean. They could see the pain that Dean went through in Hell and the pain that he was still going through. It broke their heart listening to it.

"Up here it was four months, but done there time's different. It was more like forty years."

Sam gasped. Forty years?!

"They sliced and carved and tore at me in ways that you...until there was nothing left. And then I would be whole again...just so they could start in all over. And Alastair at the end of every day, he would come over and make me an offer. To take me off the rack if I put souls on, if I started the torturing. Every day, I told him to stick it where the sun shines. For thirty years, I told him, but then I couldn't do it anymore, Sammy. I couldn't. And I got off that rack. God help me, I got right off it, and I started ripping them apart. I lost count of how many souls." Tears roll down his cheek. "The things that I did to them." He shakes his head in disgust.

"Dean, you held out for thirty years. That's longer than anyone would have." Sam said. His heart was breaking for his brother. His brother went through so much, so much pain and suffering. I should've tried harder to save him, Sam starts to tear up.

At this point, Ryder holding Lilith in one arm, wraps the other around Sam. Sam hugged them back, since he couldn't hug his brother, he'd leave that to Jenna.

"How I feel...this... inside me...I wish I couldn't feel anything, Sammy. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing." Dean cries and all he wants is for the pain he was feeling to go away, the memories to disappear.

Jenna lets a few tears go, but wants to be strong for her husband. She walks up to Dean and wraps him in her arms, and lets him cry it out. There wasn't much that she could do for him, but what she could do was be there for him, and to love him. That's what he needed right now, and she was more than happy to do it.

Dean was so grateful yet sad. He was grateful that Jenna comforted him, but sad that she had to hear him. He didn't want to dump this out on her, but he guessed that was the point of being married. To rely on someone you love, and for them to be there for you when you need it. And that's what she was doing.

In everyone's, but Dean's, mind thought the same thing; Alastair, you're officially going to die!


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