How Do You Love Someone

Chapteen Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen:

Ryder didn't know whether or not if she was going crazy. She had kept seeing Rain everywhere that had a reflection. Black eyes and a smug smile. It made Ryder uneasy, and the worst part was that she couldn't tell anyone about her; especially Sam. She could only imagine how that would go.

After the encounter, Dean and Ryder grew closer. Not in the romantic sense, but in the best friend sense. Dean saw things about Ryder that she never told anyone, not even Jenna. She may knew about Jeff, but the others not even close. That was apart of Ryder's past that was going to stay just that; her past. Maybe one day she could tell Sam, but right now she was more than willing to move on.


Sam was a little glad that things had gone somewhat back to how they were before the whole thing with Ryder had started. He was happy that his brother and Ryder had grown closer. He wanted that for them, because it's nice to have someone else you can count on besides the people you've grown accustomed to.

Dean and Jenna had went to the local diner in town to grab dinner, and it was nice of them to take Lily with them. It didn't matter how short it was, Sam just wanted some alone time with Ryder.

"Hey," he said laying beside her on the bed. "Are you okay? You haven't been yourself since the whole sleep thing happened." He wrapped his arm around her waist, and pulled her in.

Ryder sighed. "I'm fine; just a little tired." She closed her eyes wanting to savor the moment before the others got back. She turned over so she was facing him. "I love you," she whispered looking him in the eyes.

"I love you too." He leaned in to kiss her. They stayed like that for a moment, until they broke apart when the door opened.

While eating dinner, Dean tossed Sam a newspaper. Checking it out, Sam concluded that it was a simple haunting. It didn't seem like it needed their immediate attention, so they all agreed that they could leave in the morning.

Ryder got out of bed that night having to use the restroom. She looked at the others to make sure she was actually awake and not in some dream. Finished with her business, she looked in the mirror and almost screamed.

"Miss me?" asked Rain with Ryder's bright green eyes.

"You're not real." Ryder said closing her eyes.

"I'm as real as it's going to get.'' She said fixing her hair. "The sooner you realize that, the better off you're going to be."

"Why am I seeing you now? Why not before?" She said quietly.

Rain rolled her eyes. "You're not very bright, are you? Maybe you should've stayed in school." Ryder glared at her. "You can see me, because I finally made contact with you."

"What does that mean?"

"Don't you get it?! Until you admit to yourself that you need me, I'm not going anywhere." Ryder didn't want to hear anymore. She wasn't going to do this. As she was closing the door, she heard, "I'm apart of you, just as much as you are apart of me!"


Pulling up to their new motel, the boys got into their FBI suits while the girls watched TV. Back in their old world, Ryder and Jenna talked about helping the boys fight monsters and learn to hunt. Now that they were actually there with them, they were perfectly okay with staying in the motel. Mostly because they had things to do themselves.

Speaking of which, what was Ryder going to do about the third trial? She looked at Lilith sitting on the bed playing with her toys. If Lilith was really the Lilith, then what was she going to do about that? What was she going to say to the others? Because as far as she knew, she was the only one that knew about her. Would Sam be angry with her? Would he not want to be with her? She sighed. If it came to that, Ryder couldn't blame him. After all, the number one demon on Sam's hit list could very well have been with them the whole time and she didn't say anything. Whatever it was that was going to happen, it wasn't going to be good.

Jenna came out of the shower just as the boys came in. She was happy that Ryder woke up, and everything turned out alright, but she didn't like that her and Dean had gotten closer. Was Sam really okay with that? What if they were doing things behind their backs? She shook her head to rid herself thinking like that. Dean and Ryder wouldn't do that. Ryder loves Sam, and Dean loves her. At least she hoped so.

"Have either of you heard of a man name Carver Edlund?" asked Dean putting a bag of what looked like books on the table.

The girls perked up when they heard that. Ever since they watched the episode, they have always wanted to read the books. They rushed to the books and each grabbed one.

"I take it that you have?" assumed Sam sitting at the table.

"Hell yeah! Awesome this is Faith. Which one do you have?" asked Ryder. Faith was her favorite episode from season one. She loved that Sam wouldn't let Dean die without doing all he could to prevent it.

"Heart." Jenna remembered the ending and she hated it. She hated the pain that Sam had to go through when he found someone he really cared for. She also hated the pain Dean went through because of Sam's pain.


As the boys read the books about themselves, they were really freaked out. Then again who wouldn't be when they find out that someone had been writing about their lives for the world to see?

Sam was on the computer looking up more about the books and the author, while the girls read the books even though they knew what happened. Dean had put his book down trying to get a grasp on what he was reading. He picked up the book again and continued. How the hell did this guy know all about them? Getting over the shock that their lives were for the world to read, he was pissed! Who gave this guy the right to write about their lives, because it sure as hell wasn't them?!

"How is this guy doing this? Everything is in here; from me the racist truck driver to me having sex. And it's pretty graphic." Dean got up and sat at the table with his brother.

Sam cringed at the thought that his brother's sex life was in full detail. At least he knew what books to avoid.

"How come we've never heard of them?" He noticed that the girls weren't paying much attention to anyone but the books. The only thing that distracted Ryder was checking on Lily. If he took a moment to watch her, it didn't even seem that Ryder knew that she was doing it.

"The books are pretty obscure. Started in '05 until the publisher went bankrupt. Last book was "No Rest For the Wicked," which ends with you going to Hell." Sam explained showing Dean the screen.

"Did you check this out? There's actually fans." He read throught the screen. "For fans they sure do complain a lot." Dean read one of the fans complaints. "Well screw you, we lived it."

As if on cue, the girls looked away from the books to the boys. They totally fangirled when they first saw this and everytime after.

"Keep reading, it gets better." Sam said. If you didn't know when to look you would've missed the look that said that Sam was very uncomfortable with what he read.

"There are 'Sam girls' and 'Dean girls.'" Dean's look changed to confusion. "What's a slash fan?"

Now Sam showed his feelings about what that meant. "As in Sam slash Dean. Together."

Dean's eyes went wide. "As in together together?" Sam nodded. Dean's facial expression went from shock to disgust. "They do know we're brothers, right?" Sam nodded. "That's disgusting."

Ryder walked up to them at that point clearly not agreeing. "Hey, there's nothing wrong with Wincest."

"Win-what?" asked Dean.

"Winchester and incest put together."

"Like I said, that's disgusting."

"Like I said, there's nothing wrong with it. The lives you two live, I wouldn't blame you if you did end up together." Ryder rolled her eyes. Lilith had begun crying so Ryder went to pick her up. Turning her attention back to the boys. "You two have a bond that no one in the world will ever understand yet it's something that everyone could only dream about having."

"But we're brothers." Sam tried to reason. He was getting uncomfortable with this conversation and wished it would just end. Dean was thinking along the same lines.

Jenna put her book to the side and watched as Ryder explained her reasonings. She wasn't that much of a Wincest fan. She had no problem with the stories some people wrote about them, but she would rather steer clear of that particular topic. Dean looked at his wife clearly wanting her to say something to Ryder, but all she did was shrug her shoulders. You weren't really apart of Ryder's inner circle until you've had the talk about Wincest.

Ryder looked at her husband. "How many people can say they have a brother who literally went to Hell for them? How many people can say they have a brother who would die so his brother could live? How many people can say they have a brother who would willingly take on the Trials so his brother wouldn't have to? So his brother could live the life he always wanted?" Ryder had a few tears in her eyes. She hated talking about Wincest, it was always a touchy subject for her. "How many people could say they have a brother who would give or do anything in the world if it meant they could be happy?" The boys stared at her awestruck at the loyalty she had.

Ryder turned her attention to Dean. "How many people can say they have a brother who thought the world of them? Regardless of what that brother did? How many people can say they have a brother who would spend their whole lives wanting to be just like them? How many can say they have a brother who would rather choose them over a woman they could possibly see their future with?" Ryder said thinking of Amelia. Ryder lowered her voice this time. "How many can say they have a brother who would do anything to bring them back from whatever darkness that had their hooks in them?" She thought of the Mark.

She was silent for moment waiting for an answer she wasn't going to get. Sam had never known that she felt so strongly about this. Yeah, he never thought once of his brother in a romantic way, but he loved his brother so much. He would do all those things for Dean.

Dean on the other hand felt like a dick. He would never agree to what those fans were getting at, but in Ryder's case he respected her too much to say anything bad about the subject when she clearly felt so much for it. As she was talking to Sam, Dean could see himself doing those things for his brother. Hell, he had done some of those for him, and he would do them again in a heartbeat. Dean loved Sam and nothing was going to change that.

"No one could ever say that. Don't ever overlook the bond you two have, because there are a bunch of us that would give anything to have even a glimpse of it." Ryder wiped the tears away, "So yeah, if you two were to ever fall in love, your relationship would be the strongest there ever was and ever will be." She gave Lilith to Jenna when she stopped crying and went straight to the bathroom. Minutes later the shower was on and the room was quiet.

Sam and Dean looked at each other not knowing what to say. What do you say when your wife/sister in law thought it would be okay if you and brother were to fall in love?

Jenna cleared her throat. "Welcome to Ryder's inner circle." Sam and Dean looked at her confused.


Normally the girls would stay at the motel and let the boys handle the cases, but they were finally on the episode where they meet Chuck, so they were definetly going. They hung back and let the their husbands play out the episode as best they could; them being there would change things for sure.

Ryder held Lilith on her hip standing next to Jenna as they watched the boys ring the doorbell. Moments later, the door opened revealing Chuck. There were many stories on who Chuck really was. In a way they made sense, and would explain so many things.

"See, here's the thing. We have a life. You've been using it to write your books." Dean shoved the door open and walked in followed by Sam and the girls.

"How are you doing it?" asked Dean looking extremely pissed. Chuck just looked scared shitless. "Are you a hunter?"

"What? No, I'm a writer." Chuck fell back on the couch. "What do you want?"

Sam introduced him and his brother. Chuck refused to believe that. He was convinced that they were just really dedicated and crazy fans. Having no other choice Dean took him to the trunk of his car.

Jenna watched as he showed the weapons to Chuck. As their confrontation played out, Jenna turned her attention to Ryder. She didn't know why, but ever since Ryder woke from her comatose night, she's been off. She didn't want to admit it, but she felt like she wasn't as close to her as before. And the distance between them only proved that.

Having been convinced that Sam and Dean were really who they said they were, Chuck turned his attention to the girls. He had dreams of the brothers getting married, and he also wondered how they felt about coming from another universe. He wondered if they knew and if he was the one who would have to tell them if they didn't.


The girls settled in the living room watching the boys talk to Chuck, and it went down just as did in the show, word for word.

Chuck turned to the girls wanting to know. "Have you guys learned how you got here, yet?" That had come out of nowhere so none of them knew what to say. Chuck was surprised. "Wait. You guys have been here for months, and none of you wondered how you got here or why?"

The girls shook their head. "Do you know?" asked Ryder shifting Lilith from one hip to the other.

"Zachariah brought you here." Chuck said taking a sip of his drink.

Both Dean and Sam were stunned at that. "What?"

"Why would he bring us here?" asked Jenna.

"Because you have something he wants. He brought you here to get it back for his plans."

Jenna didn't look like she was understanding.

"What about the white light?"

Chuck had to think about that for a moment. It's been awhile since he had the dream where the girls came to their universe. "Zachariah."

"Why doesn't he just take it?" asked Jenna.

"The moment the mother accepts her role, the child shall remain hidden."

Dean and Sam were just completely lost as to what was being said. Ryder had a feeling she knew what the angel needed, and if she was right what the hell was she going to do?


The boys were given the typed copy of Chuck's book, and set off to do laundry. The girls had agreed to go back to the motel. Dropping the girls off, Jenna went to take a shower. Ryder fed Lilith and sat on the bed watching her play. She needed to know what she was going to do about her? It was only a matter of time before the brothers and Jenna knew about her, and she had to be prepared for whatever might happen.

"So, what are you going to do about your demonic child?" asked a voice coming from the table in front of Ryder.

Ryder looked up at the sudden noise. "What the hell? I thought I could only see you from my reflections?"

Rain snorted and picked her nails. "Oh please, you really thought that would last?" She rolled her eyes. "You weren't talking to me and I got bored, so here I am."

"You're ridiculous."

Rain ignored her comment. "So again, what are you going to do about her?"

"That's none of your concern."

"In case you forgot, I'm you so she is my concern." Ryder narrowed her eyes. Rain sighed in frustration. "I may be a bitch to you, but I draw the line at children. Even if that child happens to be an evil demon."

"I don't know what I'm going to do. Sam and Dean are going to find out, I just hope for once they don't go in guns blazing."

"These are the Winchesters we're talking about, of course they will."

Ryder rolled her eyes. Talking to Rain reminded her of when Sam saw Lucifer.

As if reading her mind, "This is nothing like Sam and Lucifer."

"Why is that?"

"First of all, I'm not a hallucination. You're just the only one I'm allowing to see me. Second, I'm not tormenting you or driving you insane."

"I wouldn't say that." Rain glared at her and was about to retort when Jenna came out of the shower.

"Who were you talking to?" she asked drying her hair.

"No one."

Jenna was very sad that their relationship wasn't getting any better. She missed her best friend, and wished she knew what went wrong.


She wanted to ask Jenna if she could watch Lilith, but Ryder had a bad feeling about that idea. Rain never left her after their talk at the motel, so she walked alongside Ryder and Lilith. Ryder had wanted to talk to Chuck while everyone was out. Jenna had decided to go meet up with Sam and Dean.

Ryder knocked on the door waiting very impatiently for Chuck to answer.

"Why don't you just walk in?" asked Rain. Clearly patience wasn't her strongest trait.

Ryder ignored her, and walked in when Chuck yelled for her to come in. He was either stupid for not considering that she could be a murderer, or he was expecting her.

Chuck was typing when he looked up and saw that it was Ryder holding Lilith. He frowned at that. Did she really have to bring her again?

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"Do you know about her?" she asked motioning to Lilith. She wanted to get straight to the point, might as well get it over with.

Chuck didn't answer right away. "Yes."

"Do you know the truth about her?" He nodded. "Can you tell me?"

Chuck wasn't ready to talk about this, and if he was being honest with himself he didn't think he ever would be, but she had the right to know. "The night that you found her, God thought that Lilith deserved redemption just like everyone else; after all she was the first woman to be created." Ryder sat down across from him while Rain just stood next to her. "He thought it would be easy for the angels to find her, so he sent her to another universe; yours. He loved yours and Jenna's loyalty, and found you to be the best choice to help her find redemption."

Ryder listened as Chuck explained. She looked at Rain, but she didn't look like she was paying attention. She was watching the door...waiting?

"Okay, but why a child?" That she didn't understand.

"What better disguise for the most dangerous demon than in the form of a happy child?"

Ryder looked at her daughter, and didn't even try to fight back the few tears that fell. She felt a hand on her shoulder, and saw that it was Rain. Strange.

"Ryder,'' said Rain.

Ryder stood up and looked at him angry. "She's not a demon! She's my daughter."

Chuck stood as well. "Do you hear yourself? This is the same demon that both Sam and Dean are looking for; not to mention the angels. Don't you think that hiding her is going to bite you in the ass?"

"Ryder." Rain said a little louder.

"I don't care!" Ryder yelled. "I will do whatever I have to to protect her. I don't care that she's Lilith. She's mine!"

"Ryder!" screamed Rain.

Ryder turned to scold Rain, when she saw the three people that she was so not looking forward to seeing.

"That's Lilith?" asked Sam. Sam was usually the nice soft hearted of the two brothers, but at the moment he looked just as pissed and cold hearted as Soulless Sam.


Ryder didn't know what to say. How could she be so stupid and careless? From the others point of view it looked liked Ryder was just angry, but from Ryder's, she was glaring at Rain. Some help she was.

Sam couldn't believe what he just heard. Lilith was the child that he looked at as his own. He has been looking for Lilith for almost a year, and she's been with them the entire time. How could he be so stupid!?

"What the hell are you doing with Lilith?" asked Dean trying to control his anger. He was so pissed at Ryder. How could she be so stupid as not to tell them.

Jenna could see the boys were beyond pissed, and they weren't going to get anywhere if they don't think straight. Maybe Ryder didn't know that Lily was really Lilith.

Sam was walking closer to Ryder, and she instinctively stepped back. She loved Sam, but there was no way she was going to let any of them hurt Lilith.

"How long have you known?" Sam asked with so much venom.

"Awhile."

Dean was going to step up and say something, but the look on Sam's face made him stay out of it. Although he wanted to yell at Ryder, she was Sam's wife. So he'll be a good brother, and let him deal with his wife. At least for now.

"How long is 'awhile'?''

"Since the day Anna became an angel." Ryder felt like she betrayed them, and maybe in some way she did, but she couldn't bring herself to regret what she did. Lilith was her daughter, and even though she was once the demon that hurt them, she wasn't now.

"And when were you going to tell us?" Sam was torn between the little girl that he grew to see as his own, and the demon that had killed his brother and wanted him dead.

While Sam and Ryder were arguing, Dean moved to Chuck who was silently watching the confrontation.

"Is that really Lilith?"

Chuck nodded. He had hoped this wouldn't happen. That was all Dean needed to know. Since their argument wasn't going anywhere Dean stepped in.

"Ryder, give her to us." Dean held out his hands. "We'll make it quick."

She scoffed. "I'm not letting you kill her." She stepped back further.

Before Dean could respond, Sam spoke up. "You gave me a choice back in the warehouse, Ryder." He said calmly. Ryder looked at him, and furrowed her brows. "You made me choose between Ruby and you, and I chose you." He stepped closer. "I'm giving you a choice. It's either me, or Lilith." He crossed his arms.

Ryder's jaw dropped. How dare he! This was completely different. She bowed her head in defeat. She hated this so much, and it broke her heart at the choice she was about to make. Please forgive me. She looked at her daughter and smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry, I can't choose. I love you both."

Sam fought back the tears that wanted freedom. He needed to get away. He needed some time alone. Without saying anything more, he turned to leave.

Ryder's heart was shattering as she watched Sam walk away. "Sam, please don't go." She was crying now. Sam gave no hint that he heard her.

Dean frowned at his brother, "I'm sorry Ryder,'' and followed him.

Jenna was torn between her best friend and husband. She felt bad for Ryder, but Dean was her husband.

Ryder could see Jenna trying to make a choice between her and Dean. It wasn't really much of a choice, because she never would've been picked. Whether or not Dean was her husband, he always came first.

"I'm sorry." Jenna followed after Dean and Sam.

Ryder heard the door close, and she fell to her knees and cried. Chuck moved to her side and comforted her as best he could.

She was alone now, and all because God chose her to help a demon.


Jenna walked out of the house after Dean. He was waiting by the car for her, and she could see Sam in the backseat staring off in the distance. She frowned. What was he going to do? What was she going to do? She loved Ryder as the sister she never got to have, but she chose Dean. As they were pulling away, they all turned to the house when they heard a heartbreaking scream.

She didn't regret going with Dean, after all he was her husband, but what was she going to do about Ryder? She thought back to their time here, and she couldn't help but realize that when she wanted to help the brothers hunt, she didn't. She had been busy with Ryder and the trials. All she's been doing is watching Lily no...Lilith, while Ryder went off to play hero. Everything had been about her. She suddenly felt like a shitty friend.

Dean drove the car in silence watching everyone think about what they were going to do. He loved Ryder, but he couldn't help but be pissed that she kept something like this from them. She knew the entire time that the little girl that they had all come to love, was Lilith. The same Lilith that held his contract. The same Lilith that had him killed. The same Lilith that wanted his brother dead. What were they supposed to do with that? Were they supposed to ignore it? He frowned. He knew the one thing that they weren't supposed to do, and they did it.

Sam didn't know what he was supposed to do with the information that he just received. He felt like a horrible person for leaving his best friend, and an even more horrible husband for leaving his wife. He heard the pain and regret in Ryder's scream as they pulled away. He didn't want to leave her there, but he had to get away to think straight. Now that he did, what was he supposed to think? He loved Ryder with everything that he had, but was he supposed to ignore that she kept something this important from them?

He suddenly smiled when he remembered the day he spent with Lily. Putting aside the fact that he knew who Lily really was, he loved her. He saw her as his own, and he wanted to be the father that he never had. John was a good man, but he wasn't the best father. He tried, and he raised them right when it came to hunting. Sam didn't want to be like that. Sure he would do everything he could to have his daughter grow up in something of normal setting, but he would give her the option if she wanted to hunt when she was older. What he didn't understand is if that really was Lilith, then why was she so sweet and happy? Looking at Lily, he didn't see Lilith at all. So what was he supposed to do? Lily his daughter, or Lilith the demon?

Almost arriving at the motel, Sam came to a decision. "Dean?''

"What?"

"Go back."


Ryder put Lilith on the ground, and let out the most painful heart wrenching scream she could muster up. Why did he leave? Was he not coming back? Did he hate her? What was she going to do? She just lost the three of the most important people in her life.

Hearing her mommy cry made Lilith very sad. She didn't like it when her mommy was hurting. Lilith wondered why her daddy left when her mommy was sad. Did he not love them anymore? Was it something that she did? If she did something to her daddy, she was very sorry. Lilith didn't want her daddy angry with her or her mommy. Lilith wanted to make her mommy feel better.

"Momma?" Ryder heard. She looked up, and saw Lilith holding her hands out for to take. Ryder picked her up, and hugged her as if she was going to disappear at any moment.

As she held Lilith, Chuck watched. Such a broken heart, and the only one that could mend it was gone.

"How is that no one has recognized her as a demon?" She thought back to the episode, and remembered that the angels and demons could recognize another demon by just looking at them. So, why not with her?

''Because you accepted your role." He was quiet for a few minutes. "Are you going to do the third trial?"

Ryder looked up at him and smiled sadly. "Yes."

"Why?"

Ryder looked away. "I have every reason not to complete it, but I have one reason to finish them: the brothers." She sighed. "The things I saw in my old world were too much, and to know that they're real makes me all the more willing to finish it. I don't want Sam or Dean to go through what my Sam and Dean went through."

"What about her?" Chuck said motioning to Lilith.

"Hopefully one of them would be able to take her in." She suddenly thought of something. "Cas?" She called out.

She looked around, and she heard a flutter of wings.

"Yes?"

Chuck was amazed that Castiel was in his living room. He had been wanting to meet him ever since he first dreamt of him pulling Dean out of hell. He looked around his house, and saw a bunch of liquor bottles, and frowned. This wasn't the perfect time to be visited by an angel of the Lord.

"Do you know of a way to transfer a demon from one body to another?" She got to her feet holding onto Lilith a little more tighter. Precaution.

Castiel tilt his head in confusion. "Why do you wish to know that?" He looked around the house. "Where are the others?"

Ryder ignored that. "Do you know who this is?" She asked.

Castiel looked at Lilith, and quickly tensed up. How could he have not noticed? As soon as she asked that, he could see the child for what she was. A demon. And not just any demon, but Lilith. What was Ryder doing with Lilith?"

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Give me the child!" He ordered stepping closer.

Ryder took a step back. "Stop! You know what'll happen if you kill her." He stopped. "I love you Cas, but if you try to hurt her, I will kill you." She didn't want it to come to that, but she would if she had to no matter how important he was or will be.

"Why do you want to know?" He asked again.

"I'm doing something important, and I can't do it with her being this young. She'll need to be older for it to go smoothly." She wanted Lilith to grow normally, but in order for it to work she needed an older child. She just hoped that it wouldn't be too painful.

"How old?"

"At least six or seven, and someone who isn't being occupied by someone else." She thought of what Ruby did. With that he was gone. She hoped she was doing the right thing.


Ryder sat on the couch, and watched Lilith play with a few of her toys that Ryder had brought with them. She looked out the window. It was already dark, and it didn't seem like the others were coming back. She wanted to cry for what she did, but she fought them back. Now wasn't the time for that. She had more important things to do, so she promised to let herself cry later.

She checked her watch, and saw that it was time for Lilith to go to bed. Chuck had offered them the spare room, but she refused. They would take the couch since she would be leaving in the morning. To do what she didn't know.

After she put Lilith to sleep, she joined Chuck in the other room. He was currently working on his current book. "Have you had any dreams about me?"

He stopped typing, and looked at her confused.

"About me and someone I recently met."

It took a moment to understand what she was getting at, but he understood. "You mean Rain." It was more of a statement than a question.

"What is she?" She looked around, and saw that Rain was watching Lilith. Ryder was surprised that she was quiet the entire time, but somehow she was happy that she was still here. Was that strange?

Chuck didn't answer right away; he needed to find the right words. "How bad is your temper?"

"Um...pretty bad."

"Okay, think of your anger in human form." She did and hated what she thought of. She knew how bad her temper could be, and that's on a normal day.

"You're saying-''

"Rain is your anger."

"If that's true, then what's with the black eyes? Last time I checked, I'm not a demon." That was something she didn't understand.

Chuck sighed and pushed his keyboard away. "Your anger is so bad, that it's on equal level as the average demon."


Morning came, and Ryder was just getting up. She looked down next to her, and quickly got up when she didn't see Lilith next to her. What the hell? Where was she? Did someone take her?

She saw Rain sleeping in the chair across from her, and didn't bother questioning that. She ran into the kitchen, and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw a little girl sitting at the table eating cereal.

"Excuse me?" She stepped closer. "Who are you?" The little girl looked up from her breakfast and smiled big.

"Morning mommy."

Ryder gasped. The little girl jumped out of the chair, and ran to hug Ryder. She had long black hair and blue eyes. She wore a blue dress, and no shoes.

"Mommy, where's daddy?" At the mention of Sam broke her heart. She wanted to know the very same thing. "Is he coming back?"

Ryder put on a smile, "Yeah, baby he's coming back." She kissed her forehead, and told her to finish eating.

A couple hours later, Ryder had everything that Castiel brought her for Lilith's new body. She felt sad that Lilith wasn't a baby anymore. On the bright side, now she won't have to worry about diapers.

She walked out the front door holding onto Lilith's hand, and stopped in her tracks at the sight before her. Sam stood leaning on the side door, watching her.

"What are you doing here?" She didn't want to get her hopes up that he wanted to be with her.

Sam walked up to her, and pulled her in the most loving embrace he could muster. "I'm so sorry," he whispered in her ear. "I'm sorry for leaving."

Ryder hugged him back. It didn't matter if it was only for one night, Ryder missed him so much. "I'm sorry too."

Sam pulled back, "I love you." He looked down at the child next to Ryder.

Lilith looked up, "Daddy!" She held her arms out for him to pick her up. He complied.

Hiding his shock for Lily's sake, "Hi, baby." He kissed her cheek without even thinking about it. Ryder was thrilled seeing that.

"Are you going to leave us again?" she asked leaning her head on his shoulder.

Sam looked at Ryder, and could see that she wanted to know the answer as well. "No, I'm not leaving you," he said never looking away from Ryder. She smiled.

He held out his hand for her to take, and she did.

"Alright, you made up. Let's go!" yelled Dean once he got out of the car.

Ryder smiled big when she saw that Dean and Jenna were there. She had her family back! She looked back at Rain who was standing behind her staring off into space. Sam carried Lilith so Dean and Jenna could meet her in her new form.

"You coming?" Ryder asked Rain.

Ryder looked at her and smirked. "What? You thought you were going to get rid or me? You're going to need me, it's just a matter of when you're going to accept that."

Ryder knew herself better than anyone, and the look that Rain gave her clearly said, I know something you don't.


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