How Do You Love Someone

Chapter Twenty Three

Chapter Twenty Three:

Sam carried Ryder's body out of the church not wanting anyone else to touch her. Jenna carried a crying Lilith out, while Dean yelled at Rain. He felt it was her fault that his sister was dead, but he knew it wasn't. He just needed someone to yell at.

Sam didn't cry when he held her body as they drove away. He still didn't allow anyone to touch her, not even to let his brother to help him get her out of the car.

Dear Sam Dean and Jenna,

Jenna felt incredibly depressed that she was about to burn her best friend's body. She thought it would be best to just bury her, but the brother's dismissed that. They told her, 'She went down like a hunter, so it's only right she get a hunter's funeral.' And after thinking about it, Jenna couldn't agree more. She felt so lucky to have known her.

First of all, I love you all. Jenna, I forgive you for what you did to Lilith. You are my best friend, and I don't think I could've made it this far without you by my side. I understand Rain and Jennifer's relationship. In this universe, they're soulmates. They love each other and would die without the other, and I guess in a way we are too. We were always meant to be friends, and seeing how much Rain loves Jennifer only proves that. I love you, and take care of Dean; you know how he gets.

Dean and Jenna went to gather wood for the pyre, while Sam wrapped Ryder's body. Lilith hadn't spoken since her mother's death. She just sat there while the adults did their duties.

Lily baby, I will always love you. You were the best thing to ever happen to me, and I wouldn't change a thing. No matter how old you get, never forget that mommy loves you.

Dean gathered wood and felt numb. He felt regret that he wouldn't be able to get to know anything more about Ryder. He wouldn't be able to hunt with her, and see her finally fight like the bad ass Jenna made her out to be. He was going to miss her. He had to stop for a moment to collect himself. He took a deep breath not wanting to break down. He had to stay strong for his brother.

Dean, I love you so much. Watching you for the last ten years brought me so much happiness. I watched as you took your role as Sam's big brother very seriously, and I love you for that. Thank you for being there for him, and please continue to be there for him. Take care of everyone; they're going to need you.

He couldn't believe that he was wrapping her body. He didn't want this to happen, especially not after only being married for a year. He saw them with a future, and growing as old as any hunter could be. As he wrapped the body, he felt like she took a piece of him with her. Sam carefully put his late wife's body on the pyre, and gently kissed her lips. Only Sam and Ryder would know what that kiss said and meant. "I love you,''he whispered.

Sam, I love you the most. When I decided to marry you, I swore to myself that I was going to make you happy, and I hope I did; if not I'm sorry. Before coming to this world, you got me through the rough days. I always had Supernatural to look forward to every week, and watching you and Dean save the world gave me hope for a happy future.

They all watched as Ryder's body burned. No one spoke, not even to say their final goodbyes. For some reason, saying goodbye just didn't seem right. It seemed too final. After all, in their line of work, Death isn't always goodbye.

Now that I'm here, I got my happy future. You and Lilith and Dean and Jenna were always my future. Thank you for loving me, and take care of Lilith. She may not get to grow up with her mother, but please, at least give her her father, aunt and uncle.

After some time, the group walked slowly back to the Impala. Sam carried his daughter, and Dean held Jenna's hand.

Death isn't always the end. For's just the beginning. Always Keep Fighting everyone!

Love always,

Ryder Winchester

"Ryder, open your eyes."

She recognized that voice. Ryder opened her eyes, and they quickly widened at the sight before her. "Chuck?!" He smiled and motioned for her to sit in a chair that didn't seem to always be there. "So, you are God?" She asked sitting down.

He shrugged not wanting to voice his answer.

"Why am I here?" She frowned. She looked around and saw that they were in an office type room. "Don't I get to go to my Heaven?"

Chuck smiled. "Of course you do. You've done a remarkable and brave thing back on earth."

Ryder didn't want to talk nor think about what she did. She didn't want to do it, but she knew she had to. To save the Winchesters, she would do it again in a heartbeat.

"Which is why I'm giving you a choice." Ryder froze immediately, forgetting how to speak. "You could go back to earth. With the Winchesters. With Jenna. With Lilith. Pain. Suffering. Heartache. Death. Or you could move on to your Heaven. Be at peace."

Ryder scoffed and crossed her arms. "You make going back sound so unappealing."

Chuck chuckled and stood up; Ryder followed. He went through a door that definitely wasn't there before. "Before you make that choice, I want you to see something." He opened the door.

Ryder looked through the door and smiled big. Rain! She was with someone...a woman; who looked remarkably like Jenna. For a moment she thought it was Jenna, but the woman had a certain aura that Jenna didn't. This was Jennifer.

"Because of what you did, two soulmates are reunited. You went through so much to get where you are now. Abused, raped, bullied, and you still made the right choice. You chose to change Sam and Dean's future because of your love for them. You chose to give up your life so a woman could be with the one she loved, the other half of her soul. How many people could say that?" He said still looking at the couple.

Ryder watched as Rain and Jennifer sat on the couch cuddling. Ryder saw Rain smile sincerely for the first time. Watching them embrace each other in happiness, she instantly felt no regret for what she did for her.

"So, was I ever supposed to cure Lilith?" Chuck didn't answer her. He held her hand, and pulled her away from Rain and Jennifer's Heaven.

She turned around, and realized they were now in a hallway. Chuck stopped in front of a door that had her name on it. "Enjoy your own Heaven and be at peace." He stepped back waiting for Ryder to make a move.

Ryder looked at the door that stood in front of her. "You're right." She sighed. "I saved them all, and I'm tired." She grabbed the door knob. "Sam won't go to Hell, and lose his soul. Castiel won't release the Leviathans, and become the new God. Dean won't get the Mark of Cain, and become a demon. It was the whole reason I wanted to do the trials; to save them from that. Now they're free to make a new future." She paused. "I want to be at peace and be happy. I don't want to go through anymore pain." She sighed and turned to look at Chuck. "I made my choice."

Chuck grinned. "Then say it."

"It doesn't matter if all that I'd go back to is pain. As long as I have Sam, I'll welcome the pain with open arms." She looked at the door in front of her once more and then she let go of the knob. "I choose Sam."

Chuck laughed. "I know." With a flash of light Ryder knew no more.

Sam and Dean were currently looking for a new hunt. It had been several weeks since Ryder died, but none of them tried to bring her back. After Jenna told them about the future seasons for the show, they understood why Ryder did what she did. So they honored her death by letting her rest in peace.

Ryder had written down what the ritual was for curing demons, and so Sam cured Lilith. Now she was just a normal little girl. Whatever normal was.

Dean was grateful that Ryder had found this place. A bunker with so much information. None of them knew what the key was for that they found in the wooden box. Jenna had explained their legacy, and they felt awe. The last of the Men of Letters. In her letter, Ryder had explained that when they were all busy with the ghoul that posed itself as Adam, she went out to find one of the Men of Letters. She had explained who the Winchesters were, and what she was going to do. He didn't have the need for the bunker, so he gave her the key and the location since she forgot.

As the Winchesters were in the library finding a new hunt, they heard a knock on the door. Dean looked at the others in confusion. Before they could go open it, the door opened itself. They saw the last person they ever thought they would walk down the stairs. Everything seemed to slow down when they saw her.

The woman walked down the stairs and stopped in front of them. She giggled at their shocked faces. "What?"

Sam got up, and studied her face wanting to make sure that it really was her, and not them tripping out. After a short time, he knew that it really was her. No one other them knew the location of the bunker. He pulled her in an embrace, and cried the tears that wanted freedom for the past few weeks. She wrapped her arms around him and cried as well.


Ryder told them about Chuck and everything that happened in Heaven.

Dean took his turn to hug her, and kissed her on the cheek. Now that Ryder was back with them, he felt like the piece that had been missing from their lives has finally been put into place. He felt so much happiness as he hugged her. "So you chose us?" He asked when they broke apart.

She looked up at Dean and smiled. "I love you Dean, but no." Sam and Dean looked at her in confusion. Ryder turned to look at Sam. She kissed him and put all of her love into that one kiss. "I chose you."

Sam held her, and out of nowhere they heard gasps from the doorway. They broke apart, and Ryder could see a shocked Jenna and Lilith. She got to one knee and held her arms out for Lilith. Immediately Lilith ran into her mother's arms. "Mommy!"

"I missed you baby,'' she whispered kissing her on the top of her head.

She got up, and stared at Jenna. They didn't hug at first, but after a moment they embraced one another. They held onto each other longer. Through one simple hug, Jenna and Ryder could hear the unspoken words between them.

I love you.

They pulled apart from each other smiling. "Okay, enough chick flick moments." Ryder winked at Dean who smiled. She pulled out a newspaper article from her pocket and slammed it on the table. They turned their attention to the article and on each one's faces a grin slowly formed.


"We got work to do."


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