How Do You Love Someone

Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine:

"So why didn't you want me to say anything to them?" asked Ryder.

Jenna sighed. "Well, if you really are serious about this, which I hope you aren't, you know the boys would stop you the first chance they got. I'm not saying don't tell them, but do it after the first trial. By that time, it would be too late for them to do anything."

Ryder didn't like the idea. She didn't want to be like how she was in her old world. She was a very good liar(unless she was trying to lie to Jenna), and it tended to bite her in the ass later. Karma's a bitch.

A month later, Dean came in to tell them of a hunt that was on the way to their destination. It was a town where men were dying of a heart attack without any of the normal symptoms. Jenna immediately looked at Ryder worried. They remembered this episode, Yellow Fever. It wasn't a great episode for Dean. It not only harmed his macho exterior, but it made him hallucinate about Lilith.

When they agreed to go along with the hunt, Sam and Ryder went to the diner to grab breakfast. Dean was on the bed watching TV, and he heard Jenna in the bathroom. Ever since she got her voice back, she had been talking more to Dean. He loved it, and found himself enjoying listening to her talk to herself. He never thought he would feel anything other than lust for any woman. He didn't know what this feeling he felt in his chest, but he wanted more of it. He didn't want it to go away, and found it only came when he was around her or when he thought about her. He walked to the bathroom closely and realized she was singing softly. He opened the door a little, and watched as she was brushing her hair.

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.

The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.

They're swept away and nothing is what it seems,

the feeling of belonging to your dreams.

Listen to your heart

when he's calling for you.

Listen to your heart

there's nothing else you can do.

I don't know where you're going

and I don't know why,

but listen to your heart

before you tell him goodbye.

He was so caught up in the words, he didn't notice her staring at him through the mirror. She was well aware that he was watching her, and she felt happy. It made her happy that Dean found her interesting enough to listen to her awful voice. She was never a great singer before she had lost her voice, and she wasn't a great singer now that she had her voice back.

"Dean?"

He stepped back realizing he had been caught, but he didn't go back to his bed. He opened the door wider, and smiled at her. The feeling he couldn't name was growing more intense the closer he was to her. He loved it too much to walk away. He walked closer to her until their bodies touched.

"Are you okay?" Jenna asked suddenly concerned.

Dean smiled sweetly, "I think so." No more words were shared, because after he spoke Dean kissed Jenna gently yet passionately. Jenna squealed in surprise, but got over it rather quickly. She wrapped her arms around his neck and the kissing continued, until Dean picked her up, and brought her out of the bathroom and onto their bed.

Jenna had been waiting for this for sometime now, and wanted it very badly. She didn't want to say anything since Dean was still going through his experience in Hell. Through all the bad dreams and trauma, Jenna was right there with him, and Dean was so grateful yet ashamed he couldn't get himself under control. But Jenna never thought once he was to blame. Anyone would have nightmares if they served forty years in Hell, thirty in which you were being tortured beyond belief.

Dean had been wanting to take their relationship a step further, but didn't want to do something Jenna wasn't ready for. By the looks of lust and something he still couldn't name(which was seriously starting to bug him) in her eyes, he would say she had been ready for quite awhile.

"Dean?" He looked at her, and for a moment thought she had changed her mind.

"What about Sam and Ryder?" Jenna was a little hesitant on going any further in case Sam and Ryder came in though the door. She may love Dean, but she didn't want her friend and her boyfriend to walk in on them.

"What? You want them to join us? I don't really swing that way." He teased.

Jenna rolled her eyes. "That's not what I meant. What if they come in?"

Dean smirked. He picked up his phone and sent a quick message to his brother.

Jenna brought Dean's face closer to hers, and whispered, "Now, where were we?"

(Sex Scene. Use your imagination!)


Sam and Ryder were on their way to the motel room, when Sam's phone went off alerting him that he had a text message. He was going to reach for it, but Ryder grabbed it first pointing to the road. Sam rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless. The time since Ryder and Jenna came into their world, his feelings for her grew more and more. He didn't even feel this way even with Jessica, or Madison, hell even Ruby. What was so different about her from the other women he had been with? He really liked her, maybe even more? Was it possible to fall in love with someone in a short time?

"Dean wants us to stay away for a little while." Ryder said interrupting his thoughts.

Sam shook his head not registering what she had said. "What? Why?"

Ryder smirked. "Jenna and Dean are alone, and want some time to themselves. I think they want to talk about their feelings."

"Smart ass." Speaking of talking about feelings, he really wanted to tell Ryder how he felt, it was only fair since she had said it to him so many times.

Lilith was sleeping in her car seat clutching a stuffed cat they had bought for her a few days ago.

"Ryder?" Might as well do it now. She hmmed in response chewing on her breakfast. "I love you." She choked on a piece of her food. He reached over and patted her back. Not the way I pictured this going, he thought as she cleared her throat.

"What did you say?" She didn't think she heard him right. She had been waiting awhile for when he would finally say it back. So when he finally did, she was caught off guard.

"I said I love you." Was she that surprised he would say it? Maybe he should have said it sooner.

Ryder smiled big, and tried to calm her racing heart. "I love you too." She scooted toward him and kissed his cheek. She was going to do more, but Lilith woke up crying. "Duty calls."

Sam loved that his girlfriend took care of a kid that someone gave her, and he could see that it didn't bother her. It made him love her even more when she called Lily hers. Not many people would do that, and for the fact that his girlfriend did, he thought Lily was lucky to have a wonderful mother. He didn't even recognize the same sensation when he first seen her, or maybe it's still there, but he doesn't care?


Dean and Jenna lay in bed both happy with what they finally did. Dean didn't want to spoil the moment, but he wanted to ask her something he's been wanting to ask for awhile.

"Jenna?" He said tapping her shoulder.

"Hmm?"

"What was your life in your world?"

"Um..it wasn't all too exciting." She didn't want to talk about her old life, and as far as she was concerned it could stay in her old world. Now that she was here, she wanted to have a clean slate. She thought about telling Dean about herself, but didn't want to scare him off. She was a little worried he wouldn't like her. She sighed, she knew all about Dean, she guessed it was only fair that he knew about her.

Dean could tell she was preparing herself to tell him, so he waited patiently. He really wanted to know, because patience wasn't a trait he had.

"When I was a little girl, my mother walked out on me and my dad for some guy she met. I didn't understand what was going on, so I waited for her to come back, but she never did. My dad wasn't a nice person after that, and he didn't like me too much. I always thought he just didn't want to be left with a kid to raise. Or it could be that I look like my mother. It could be any number of things on why he didn't like me.'' She sighed.

"It's funny. The number one man a girl is supposed to rely on is her dad, yet mine hated me. Ten years ago, when I turned thirteen I saw the greatest man. He was such a smart ass, with a devil may care attitude. Yet he cared so much for his family even though it kept getting smaller with each year. He would put his brother before himself and anyone else, even his father. Watching him every week kept me going, and for one hour a week I was happy.

"Then about three years ago, I met Ryder at a convention for Supernatural, and we immediately became friends. She learned about my home life and she offered to stay the nights to keep me company. She was my best friend, and she made me feel safe from my father. She was even tempted to beat his ass for the things he did."

"Wait, Ryder wanted to fight your dad?" Dean couldn't believe it. Ryder was a fragile looking woman, he would've never taken her for a fighter.

Jenna chuckled, "She may not look it, but Ryder is a very tough woman. She's been in numerous fights, not even you or Sam could take her."

"Tempting." Dean smirked. He really wanted to see how tough she was. And if Jenna thought neither him nor his brother could take her, he wanted to find out even more.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." Jenna was looking forward to seeing her boyfriend get his ass kicked by a girl.

"Oh please, I can take her." He waved off her warning.


Sam knocked on the door, and walked in followed by Ryder holding Lilith. He was glad that both Dean and Jenna were decent.

"So, where's the next hunt?" asked Dean putting on his leather jacket.

Sam looked up and before he answered, Jenna did. "Rock Ridge, Colorado." She looked up and saw two pairs of questioning eyes staring at her. "What?"

"How did you know?" Jenna sighed.

"Boys, you need to remember that we seen all this." Ryder said feeding Lilith.

"Right."

They all sat in the car driving to Colorado. Jenna in the back with Ryder and Lilith. Lilith had fallen asleep as soon as they drove away. They all learned that when Lilith would cry nonstop to take her for a drive and she would be out like a light. Something had been bothering both Sam and Dean for quite some time, but they didn't know how to bring up the subject. So Dean figured the best option would be to be blunt.

"Ladies?" He received a hmm? in response.

"We were wondering, what do you guys plan to do about going home?" The car was silent with the music in the background.

The girls looked at each other, but none knew how to say to what they wanted. Jenna was a little nervous on what they would say. Would they want them to go back? Would they be angry about their choice?

"If it's alright with you guys, we don't want to go back." Jenna whispered.

Dean looked at Sam and his brother could see he was fighting back a smile. He was happy that they didn't want to go back, and for once he wanted to be selfish and leave it at that, but he couldn't. Sam could see what he was thinking and asked, "Are you sure?"

"Of course. We love you guys too much." No more was needed to be said after that.


Dean and Sam were leaving to go to the morgue to check out the body. As they were getting into the car, Ryder called out to them.

"Dean?" They turned to look at her.

"Don't touch the heart when it's given to you." She figured that the best way to avoid getting sick was for him not to touch the heart.

Dean was confused when he heard that, and so was Sam. "What the hell does that mean?"

Ryder wanted to hit them over the head. "Exactly what I said. When you're offered to hold the heart, don't. If you can't avoid it, Sam you hold it for him."

Dean started up the car, and as he was pulling out of the parking lot, he said, "Dude, your girlfriend's crazy."

Sam smiled. "I know."

Sam and Dean watched as the coroner did the autopsy. They didn't think about Ryder's warning until he asked Dean to hold the heart. Dean looked at his brother questioning what he should do.

Sam didn't know what would happen, but he trusted his girlfriend and offered to hold it instead. He didn't know what would happen if his brother would've held it, and he didn't really want to know.

The coroner cuts something else in the body, and blood squirted in Dean's face. Sam couldn't help but smile, then it instantly faded. Would that do anything to his brother? Sam shook his head, probably not.


Ryder watched as Jenna played with Lilith, and stared at Sam's laptop. She was researching for anyone that might have made a deal ten years ago. She was coming up on nothing and it was frustrating her. She banged her head on the table, and sighed. Why did Supernatural make it seem so damn easy to find someone who made a deal, while she's been looking for over a month?

"No luck?" Jenna asked already knowing the answer. Maybe they should've told the boys. Sam would've saved them a lot of time if he knew.

Ryder shook her head.

"Momma?" Lilith held out her hands to Ryder quivering her bottom lip. She sensed her mommy wasn't happy, and she wanted to make her mommy feel better.

Ryder and Jenna smiled. Lilith did always know how to make her feel better. Ryder picked her up and kissed her on the cheek. She already felt better holding her daughter. "Thank you baby."

Jenna flopped on the bed sighing. She was hating these motel beds. They were seriously hurting her back. She was used to worse, but it didn't mean these beds were that much better. She closed her eyes listening to Ryder sing to Lilith.

Her singing was immediately cut off when the door swung open. They looked to it to reveal the brothers. Sam looked worried, while Dean looked anxious.

Jenna cocked her head, ''Are you okay, Dean?"

Dean looked at her nervously. He shook his head.

"What's wrong?" She thought back to the episode. "You didn't touch the heart, did you?" He shook his head, "Then-"

Sam cut her off, "Some spleen juice got in his face."

Ryder smirked. "I guess Yellow Fever was meant to be one way or another." Sam looked at her confused. "In the episode, you got hit with the spleen juice while Dean held the heart." Sam nodded his understanding.

"So what now?" asked Dean a little on edge.

Jenna didn't want to change history too much, so she shrugged her shoulders. "Call Bobby."


After informing Dean the news of ghost sickness, Sam and Dean ran around town trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Ryder really wanted to tell them what they should do, and that it would skip a whole lot of running around. In the end, the episode played out like it was supposed to.

Slowly but surely, Dean's sickness worsened. Jenna stayed with Dean the entire time. The night that Dean ran back to the motel, the audience saw Dean being thrown against the wall by Sam. In reality, Dean just backed up into the wall scared and mad when he looked at Sam. It was odd, because Jenna and Ryder knew what Dean was seeing, but they also saw what Sam saw.

Four hours to go before Dean's time would be up. Jenna knew Dean would be fine, but that didn't make her feel any better when she saw her boyfriend scared to the point of being scared to death.

Sam called Dean to let him know both him and Bobby had a plan and that he would be fine. Dean didn't look all too convinced. Jenna sat next to Dean, and when his attention went to the door Jenna realized he was hearing the Hellhounds. Jenna guided him to the bed. She gave Ryder the same look she gave her when Ryder fought Ruby.

Ryder hurried to the corner of the room and told Lilith to stay and don't move. She didn't take too much time to see if Lilith listened and ran to position herself in front of Dean and Jenna. The door burst open, and as Ryder expected, the sheriff came in.

The sheriff saw Dean, and walked to him only to have his path blocked off by Ryder. The sheriff pulled out his gun, and she even though she wasn't scared of the weapon, she didn't want to risk him setting the gun off. She put her hands in the air in an act of surrender.

"Sheriff, you need to calm down." Ryder's best bet was to reason with him, whether it was pointless or not.

"Move or I shoot." The sheriff threatened. Ryder stood her ground.

"Why are you looking into Luther Garland's death?"

"You're sick, you need to relax." The sheriff pushes Ryder. Her anger was almost getting the best of her, but she pushed it down.

The sheriff points his gun at Dean and just as he was about to fire, Ryder disarms him. A fight that would have been between him and Dean if it weren't for her and Jenna breaks out.

While Ryder was fighting with the sheriff, Dean picks up a Bible and holds on to it for dear life. Jenna rubs his back, and waits for the hallucination that Dean was sure to have. By the way Dean's eyes shot open, she knew it started.

Dean moves away from her, and even though she knew he was seeing Lilith when he looked at her, it still hurt.

"You are not real!"

"Dean?" She moves closer to him, "What you're seeing is not real. Lilith is not here!"

Dean falls to his knees and looks up at 'Lilith,' "Why did I get infected?"

Jenna at this points is crying. It was bad enough to know what Lilith was doing to him on TV, but to have him look at her like she was Lilith was terrible.

Dean feels his chest being squeezed to no end. It was so much pressure on his chest, and all he wanted to do was breathe. It was painful and listening to Lilith mimic his heart wasn't helping. The pain wasn't going away, and for a moment Dean thought he was going to die, but then all of a sudden he could breathe. He took in deep breaths and coughed. He looked to where Lilith was standing over him and only saw Jenna crying. He reached out to her and held her until she cried herself out.

Dean looked up at Ryder shushing a crying Lilith. He mouthed 'sheriff,' and frowned when she shook her head.


The brothers, and Jenna drank a beer while Bobby talked to the boys. Ryder laughing at the noises Lilith was making, while also laughing when Bobby and Sam were making fun of Dean.

Bobby drove off, leaving the rest by the Impala.

"So, what did you see, near the end I mean?" Sam asked taking a swig of beer.

As soon as Sam asked that, Jenna and Ryder quickly looked up. Dean saw but didn't look at them. He looked up at Sam, and if you didn't know what to look for you would've missed Dean's look a mixture of sadness and alert. Dean would never tell anyone what he saw, but Jenna and Ryder knew.

"Howler monkeys."

"Hey Jenna? You know what sucks about this whole situation?" Ryder asks looking at the brothers.

"Besides the fact that Dean almost died?"

"We'll never get to see Jensen Ackles lip sync to 'Eye of the Tiger.'" Ryder looked at Jenna seriously. Then out of nowhere they burst out laughing.

As they were piling in the car, Ryder thought about to what Dean saw when he looked at Sam. She swore to herself at that moment that if she had anything to do with it, Sam would never end up like that.


Sam slept next to Lilith, close enough to make sure she wouldn't roll off the bed, but far enough not to squish her. Dean and Jenna snuggled up to each other, and Ryder felt very happy for her friend.

She sat at the table searching the internet for any sign of a demon deal. Jenna woke up to typing and inwardly groaned. She maybe all for her best friend saving the world from an entire race of dicks, but that didn't mean that she liked the fact that she was being woken up at, she looks at the clock on the bedside table, three AM. She got up and walked to Ryder.

"You're still up?" she went to the kitchenette and poured herself and Ryder a cup of coffee.

Ryder took a sip, "We have to find something. I've been looking for over a month, and I can't find anything."

Jenna got up and went to grab Ryder's hand. "Come on, we'll continue tomorrow."

Ryder went to turn off the laptop, when something caught her eye.

"Jenna?"

Jenna looked back at her, rubbing her eyes. ''What?"

She chuckled. "I think I found a deal."


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