Rainbow Dreams of Fear
Rainbow Dash flapped her wings hard, speeding through town looking for him. Pinkie had just explained everything, about his past, how he’s haunted every night when there’s nothing to distract him during the day. How much he regrets it all. She had searched almost all of Ponyville now, so she rocketed towards the sky, nearly making a Sonic Rainboom before she deliberately stopped to look down. “Where could he be?” she asked herself, and wrapped her arms around her waist in a nervous fear. Suddenly she caught a glimpse, just a shadow of something that moved inside of the forest. Rainbow gulped a little, and tilted her wings so that she could soar down, entering the Everfree Forest along the path and touching down on the ground. She began walking around a little, keeping to the path as she glanced around for even the slightest hint of Breeze. Suddenly she saw something, a short quick movement in one of the bushes and she again grabbed her arms in fear before gulping and walking towards the bush. Again she saw a quick movement, this time much further away from her. She removed her hands from her arms, and ran, shaky at first, but quickly getting the hang of it. She did unfortunately trip over plenty of tree roots and rocks, but she always got back up quickly so that she wouldn’t lose the movements. Finally she could see light shining on a clearing, and she slowed to a walk. Breathing heavily and cut slightly, she placed her hand against the trunk of one of the trees on the outside of the clearing, finding Breeze sitting there in the middle, his arms resting on his knees and his face buried in his arms.
She could hear soft sobs coming from him, and the little animals around him seemed to just stare at him, almost as if they wanted to help but couldn’t. She saw squirrels, rats, even rabbits just looking at him, sad and helpless. One of the squirrels looked to her, pleading for her help, and she walked into the light, his sobs beating against her soul. She finally reached him, and realized that she didn’t know what to do, so she simply sat next to him and wrapped her arms around him. He flinched a little, lifting his head and gazing at her, surprise and sadness embezzled on his face all at once. “You’re…” he said, his tears staining his cheeks and his eyes puffy from his cries. “Yah, I wanted to surprise you, but I can see you need more than that.” she told him, her face understanding and sad. He used the sleeve of his sweater to wipe his face, trying to erase the tears that stained his face, “No,” he said, “I’ll be fine, just wanted some space.”
“You know that’s not true.” she retorted, “Just tell me.”
“I…I can’t.” he said and rested his chin on his knees, his mouth covered by his arms. “Why not?” she asked, almost in a huff, her eyes still shined with concern, and she didn’t hide it either. “Because.” was his answer. “Because, isn’t an answer, we’re supposed to be friends…” she told him. “And that’s exactly why I can’t tell you.” he shot at her. He wasn’t angry and he wasn’t forceful, instead he seemed…worried, or scared, “I…I don’t want to lose my friends because of something I have to deal with.” he told her, returning back to his sobbing position.
“Is it the nightmares, of your past?” she finally asked. He lifted his head like a shotgun blast, his eyes wide with both fear and surprise, “HOW DID YOU FIND OUT?” he asked in shock. “Pinkie Pie told me.” she admitted. “And, how did she…” he wanted to ask, but she cut him off. “I…didn’t ask.” she told him with slight embarrassment. The two of them seemed to stay quiet, until Breeze once again spoke up, “You probably hate me now that you know.” he said. “Why would I hate you?” she asked, “Nopony’s perfect. You just had a rougher life than me.”
“Rough life, yah I guess.” he said. “But you didn’t let it control or change you.” she reminded him, “You regret what you had to do, how many other Assassins can say that?” Breeze glanced at her, thinking back to how many on the Academy were even rumored to be like that, “I can’t think of any I know like that.” he responded. Another silent moment occurred, as the two just sat there, “So, what are they like?” she finally asked. Breeze just tried to bury his head further into his arms, wanting nothing more than to disappear. Rainbow Dash waited, waited for him to speak, anything even if it was telling her to drop it. “Is it bad?” she asked. He just remained silent, “Darn it Breeze say something!” she finally demanded. “LIKE WHAT?” he asked her, “What do you want me to say, that the thing that scares me the most is that sometimes, I hunt myself, like I actually want to be killed?”
Rainbow Dash then lifted herself to her knees, staring him in the face, “It’s better than nothing, better than just sitting there wasting away.” she challenged. The two of them stood up at the same time, eyeing each other angrily, “What if I don’t want to tell you?” he asked. “Oh yah real mature, just hide your problems until they pile up.” she countered, nearly challenging him. “I keep it to myself so others don’t have to live with it.” he told her. “Why should you live with it alone, huh?” she asked, “I thought friends were there so your problems could be solved.”
“My problems can’t be solved.” he told her. “Yah, cause you never face them, you just hide under the quick thrills.” she responded, both their tempers rising steadily. “I’m not hiding!” he shouted. “Yah? Prove it!” Rainbow finally told him. “FINE!” he shouted, “You want to know? Then I’ll tell you. I’ve killed people, evil, righteous, guilty, and innocent. And I remember every one of them.” Rainbow Dash stayed quiet as he finally let it all out, his voice cracking as he once again began to tear up, his body shaking with every word as he looked to his hands, disgust on his face as he imagined the blood that stained them, “I can still see their faces, their fear, their pain. It will never leave me. I dream about it every night. Sometimes I’m the hunter, sometimes I’m the hunted, and sometime’s I’m both.” as he spoke his voice softened, falling into tears and sobs as he looked to the grassy floor, “Only when I can’t think about it is when I don’t dream. They’re haunting me, punishing me for their murders. I…I just want it to stop.” The tears again fell from his eyes, down his cheeks and dripped onto the grass blades below. “I don’t want others to suffer the same thing, so I keep on smiling, telling them that everything will be ok, but for me…” Breeze once again crouched down to a sitting position, wrapping his arms around his knees so that he can sob into his arms, “…it’s not.” he finished.
Rainbow Dash let go of her own anger as she watched him there, vulnerable, something she never saw in him before. Tentatively, she knelt down and wrapped her own arms around him, and quickly he unfolded his own arms and embraced her, sobbing into her shoulder. “Just let it go.” she told him. He just kept crying, “They aren’t haunting you, you’re haunting yourself. Just let it go.” Between sobs Breeze was actually able to ask, “How?”
“You gotta forgive yourself.” she told him. A few minutes later he finally stopped crying, and looked up at her, smiling. This smile seemed different to her somehow, like he was ready to do just that. “What did you have to forgive yourself for?” he asked. Rainbow Dash looked down a little, almost not wanting to speak, “I accidentally hurt one of my friends when I was a filly. It wasn’t bad, but I still beat myself up over it. When she told me she never blamed me, it was then I realized I was the only one blaming me, so I just forgave myself.” she said. Breeze seemed to accept that, and turned to the forest path, “So, why do you keep hitting me when I make a comment about the others?” he asked, “Tche, I’m in the neighborhood, their not exactly the best of comments, and…” she told him. “And?” he asked, “They make me jealous.” she whispered. Breeze didn’t say a word; instead he smiled genuinely for the first time in a long time and looked to his hands, the blood he imagined fading away as he finely let go of his past. “Let’s get out of here.” he offered as he stood up, and reached his hand out to her. She graciously accepted it, and the two exited leaving the clearing hand in hand, each of the animals smiling happily. “You’d better not tell anypony about this ok!” she said as they walked, “I don’t need ‘sappy’ added to my profile, I got a reputation to uphold!” Breeze chuckled, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, “I promise I won’t tell!” he said honestly.
As the two of them finally exited the forest the sun was dipping behind the mountains, burning a bright red as it waved goodbye. “That is definitely a sight I’d want to see again.” Breeze said. “Yah.” Rainbow Dash agreed. Almost half a minute later, Rainbow Das turned to him, “So how do I look?” she asked as she let go of his hand and spread her own arms out. Breeze looked her up and down before answering, “Hmmm, petit!” was all he said. “What?” she asked in confusion. “It’s French.” he told her. “For?” she asked, almost angry that he wouldn’t tell her right away. Breeze hesitated a little; sweat dripping down the back of his neck as he looked her in the eyes, “Small!” was his answer. Instantly Rainbow Dash’s anger flared and she straight jabbed him in the cheek, knocking him to the ground and stomping right past him and a purple unicorn the two hadn’t seen. “Rainbow Dash, why did you do that?” Twilight asked as she neared her. “It made me feel better!” was Rainbow Dash’s response before she spread her wings to fly home. Twilight looked to Breeze as he lay there on the ground, “Are you ok?” she asked. Breeze chuckled, “Love hurts!” was all he said to her.