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By lackingwit

Romance / Humor


Fionna's day had not been out to a great start. Cake had woken her up—early, might she add—to tell her that she and Lord M. were going to be at the palace with the kittens. Sure, she was glad that she'd warned her, but couldn't she have just left her a crummy note, for glob's sake? After Cake woke her up, she couldn't get back to sleep, no matter how hard she tried—oh, glob knows she tried—so she ended up getting out of bed to go adventuring. It had been a semi-fulfilling trip; two goblin tree monsters downed in one strike, but it turned out that those goblin tree monsters were baby goblin tree monsters and that mamma goblin tree monster was not far behind. And wow, why hadn't anyone told her goblin tree monsters were so big? Without Cake, the project was too big to handle on her own, and since no one was in immediate danger excepting herself, Fionna fled, hate it as she might. That, of course, was not before she sustained a couple cuts and bruises. It was after that that Fionna had decided to come home to her treehouse and nurse her cuts, because glob help her if Cake saw that horrible gash up her side.

All of this being said, Fionna was not having a good day. Especially now that her side was acting up.

So now she sat on her couch, with BMO in front of her, begging it not to tell Cake that she was screwed up something bad. The only good thing about this day was that everything had stopped bleeding. That didn't mean it hurt any less, but hey. Beggars can't be choosers.

BMO was saying that it should tell Cake, because that's what a real, good girl would do. But then Fionna said that real girls would keep their sister's secret. BMO was in the middle of responding when there was a knock on the door.

Fionna sighed. She gave one last pleading glance at BMO and stood up to open the door.

It was Marshall Lee. Just like that Fionna's day got so much better.

"Hey, Mar—" Fionna stopped herself, examining the Vampire King with a raised brow. His entire left side was burnt a bright shade of unhealthy red, which Fionna could clearly see as he was shirtless. Marshall Lee himself was donned with a scowl to make even his mother run for the hills. "What the zip?"

Marshall glared, although he seemed to be more upset with himself. "You gonna let me in?"

Fionna frowned, an expression that looked more like a pout. "Well maybe if you asked nicely," she announced.

"It's my house," Marshall Lee reminded. He was in no mood for humor.

"Well when you say it that way," Fionna relented, moving aside with a scowl. She watched as Marshall found his way to the couch, hissing as he laid on his left side and jumping up. Fionna plopped herself in front of the Vampire King. "You gonna tell me what the buck happened? You look all...burnt and stuff. Did you, like, forget you were allergic to the sun and go to the beach?"

Marshall's scowl deepened. "Why can't you just say fuck, Fionna?"

"Whoa, watch the language, brother!" Fionna said, fighting the blush that crept up her neck. Cake had told her what the word fuck actually meant and she couldn't picture saying that word out in public. Or with Marshall Lee, either. She watched the vampire with a curious eye. "Was I right?"

"I didn't forget I was a vampire!" he shouted in his defense.

"But you did go to the beach," the blonde girl stated, confused. Why the blip would Marshall Lee, the flipping Vampire King, go to a beach? The thought itself was comical, and Fionna found herself laughing.

"It was Bubba's fault, okay!" Marshall continued, trying desperately not to twitch in irritation. "He said, 'Let's go to the beach one day like we used to!' And I was being stupid and I was drunk off strawberry wine so I said, 'Okay!' And I swear he knew I was drunk, Fionna! But he took me anyway!"

Fionna's giggles stopped as she tried to become serious. "O-okay," she hiccuped. She got up and regained composure, then, with one thought of Prince Gumball dragging Marshall Lee to a beach, composure was gone. She was giggling up a fit again, holding onto her side—which really, really hurt now, but in a good way, a ha-ha kind of way. "I-I'm sorry, Marshall, but—oh glob, that is really funny!" she laughed, pushing her bangs away from her face. "Did you at least have your parasol?"

"It's an umbrella!" Marshall shouted. Men had umbrellas, dammit! Parasols were for pansies!

The vampire's growl only made Fionna laugh harder. "Okay, okay," she manged through her giggles. "Did you at least have your umbrella, Mister Macho?"

"How the hell else was I going to only get half of myself burnt?" Marshall Lee mumbled angrily.

Fionna decided to let that slip of the tongue go, as the poor guy was probably in more pain than she could imagine. She pressed her lips together to stop laughs from escaping them, and motioned that she would be right back. She came back with a green slimy cream that Marshall Lee recognized as aloe. "Cake said this was good for sunburn, and that's what this is, right? You got a really, really bad sunburn." She blushed. "It's just, um, what's exposed, right? Not like...under your trunks?"

"I don't skinny dip in daylight, Fionna," he grumbled.

Fionna ignored that it implied that he did skinny dip and tried to keep the mental image of him naked away from her mind. "Alright, alright," she said, and squirted some of the aloe into her hands, gently working it into his shoulder and arm. "I don't— How would— Why would—? Oh glob, Marshy, how is this not funny to you?"

"I am in pain right now, Fi!"

Fionna worked the cream into Marshall's neck. "Right, right," she laughed. She paused. "Has anyone ever told you that your cheek meat is really soft?"

Marshall Lee made a face. "You're the only one who's ever touched my cheek meat."

"Oh," Fionna said, blushing. "Well. You're cheek meat is really soft."

There was silence as the hero worked aloe into the vampire's left side, trying desperately to forget how nicely muscled Marshall Lee was, and how, oh glob, his legs were toned even though he hardly used them. By the time Fionna was done, she had a bright red face to challenge Gumball's. "Um. Better?"

Marshall winced slightly. It didn't hurt as much, the cool aloe soothing the irritated skin. "Not really."

Fionna sighed. "What would make it better?"

There was a smirk on Marshall's face as he reached out with his right hand to pull Fionna into his right leg. He tapped his cheek and watched as Fionna's already red face turned a shade or two darker. He waited for the loud What the glob that was sure to come, except that it didn't. Instead Fionna played with the ties of her hat and pressed a soft kiss to his right cheek. Marshall stared at her, a wide grin forming on his face. "I told you you had a crush on me."

Fionna slapped him.

"My cheek meat!" he shouted. "Make it better!" he said, pointing at his cheek. He gazed at Fionna with wide red eyes. "Please?" he asked in his innocent-little-boy voice.

She sighed, but pressed another kiss to the Vampire King's cheek, only this time he was quick, and he turned his face to meet her lips with his. Fionna pulled away, blushing furiously, and Marshall laughed, dipping down for another, and another, and another, and another, until Fionna stopped jumping in surprise.

Fionna was smiling like a ditz when she remembered something. "BMO, if you tell Cake, I swear—"

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