Chasing Demons

chapter 5

Days had passed and nothing had changed, Banner didn't come neither did Thor perhaps this was my punishment to be left on Midgard as their prisoner. Yes that was the only explanation, I was to be left here as their prisoner, to be left to their own mercy, to be forgotten and never to return. This was what I had been submitted to, this was my new cell, at least I wouldn't be subjected to torture, even these pathetic mortals wouldn't do such a thing and the silence was nothing to me, oh yes I could deal with the silence and isolation. But still I thought of Banner, thought of how safe I felt, how every doubt left my mind, the feeling of belonging somewhere, to be wanted. Never have I looked back so foundly on the past wishing that I could go back to those days even knowing that i would be here once more I still wanted to go back on those days just to know that they had truly happened and that they weren't some trick of the guards to break me, that for once I had truly found peace and happiness.

If only there was some way in which I could still prove myself to them, to show them how I no longer wanted to be this monster, that I had changed during those brutal years but I knew they would only laugh at such a request, monsters will always remain monsters we couldn't change, so why would they ever believe that I wanted to change, that I was truly sorry for all that I had done, they wouldn't and just like everyone else they would forget that I was here as well. Once more I picked up the broken piece of glass and watched the red stain blue skin, it was all that I was still capable of doing. Even after escaping the pain I still hurt, still felt numb, still bleed not caring about the sting of blood rushing to meet the surface or the scars that formed, I was alone so what would it matter to them if I bleed or hurt myself it was just one more thing they didn't have to worry about.


When I woke everything ran through my mind reminding me off what had happened the day before and as I rushed out to the back, taking one of Tony's helicopters, I hoped that I wasn't to late to save him. How could I have let them take him so easily as that, let him give up knowing what would happen and all I did was watch them take him. I didn't know how long I had been out but I wasn't going to rest again until I had saved him even if that meant that I would have to find some way to break into Asgard just to save him, I was going to do whatever it took. No one deserves to hurt that much not even Loki, I don't know what they did to him but it had changed him and now he wasn't a monster but like myself just wanted to escape all of it and find that there was indeed good inside us and there was so much more to him then what everyone else saw.

When I got to New York I landed on the platform outside Tony's house and laying on the couch was Tony, seeing him there when he had promised to help Loki as well and knowing that if he was there then he could have stopped them from taking Loki, it made me mad to think that if he was there he could have saved him.

"What the hell Stark!" I yelled throwing him across the room. "You said you'd help protect him!"

"Woah calm down Bruce, where are we anyways?"
"Don't play dumb with me Stark where do you think we're in New York."
What was he trying to play with I didn't have time for him to play idiot.

"Why am I here? The last thing I remember was going outside for...Shit they got him didn't they?"

"No you realize what happened. But then how did you get here if your helicopter was still out back? No it doesn't matter will you help me get him back?"

"Of course I already told you that I was going to help you."
Maybe I had overreacted but still if only he had stayed then maybe they wouldn't have found Loki and we wouldn't be here instead we could have kept him safe until they eventually called of the search and everyone forgot about him. Then just maybe we could have helped him start again, start a new life here where he could prove to the world that he was different just as he had proven to me. I didn't see the killer that had almost completly destroyed New York, no I saw someone human, someone with a heart that could feel and cared, someone who just wanted to escape their own demons, someone who knew the same sin that laid on my owen heart. I was going to get him back, I was going to keep helping him until this was all over and he was safe, safe from the pain, the torture, safe to finally take off his disguise and truly show the person he had become after all these years.

"You really care about him don't you?"

"Just drive Tony we can talk later."
"It's ok I get it you both are fighting the same thing."
"He's changed is all and when people change they deserve another chance at prove themselves."

Loki deserved that second chance to prove himself and I didn't care if the others didn't see the change in him I did and so did Tony and together we were going to help him through all of this. Tony stopped the car a few ways down from SHIELD, inside was Loki and who knew what they were doing to him, who knew if he was even there still? That was all a chance I was willing to take, I was going to break in and I don't care what they try to do to stop me I'm not leaving until Loki is safe again, until he knows that no matter where he is taken to that I'll always come save him, no matter where or what obstecals are in my way I'd destroy New York itself it I had to in order to save him. TO many that would make me no better then Loki but it was the truth, I would go to the ends of the world to save him. People like him deserve the chance to change, to prove themselves, to show the world that they aren't always monsters and that even freaks can change and become better people. Loki had already proven that much to me.

"Wait here Stark this will only take a moment."

Tony knew better then to argue with me, I was already mad enough any more argument and Hulk would come out and I wanted to wait until I was in SHIELD and I had Loki, only when they'd try and stop me would I allow Hulk his fun. I went down the ally until I was at the back entrance closer to the cells where all their prisoners were and there I knew i would find Loki caged in the very cell that long ago had been created to hold me inside. I could feel the tinge of green start to take place and by the time it took over I would have gotten Loki and the fight to protect him would begin.

"Hold on just a little longer Loki I'm coming." I whispered as I opened the door and stormed inside taking out the gaurds that stood in my way not caring about the alrams the went off or the sound of running feet as soldiers came to stop me, I only smiled at the game that would take place, I would show Loki just how far I was willing to go to protect him, to keep him safe, how far I was willing to go to show him how much I cared.


The pain felt good, sliding the glass across the surface and watching the blood slide down my arm. I had so many scars, so many cuts, to much blood was dripping down as I laid down on the cell floor. I threw the blood stained shard and marveled at my master piece, marveled at the crimson blood rushing to the surface as it stained my blue skin. They had forgotten me, they didn't care, and soon it would all be over, for in their errogence they neglected to notice how much blood stained the cell floor or how weak I was. They would never care though not even if they did come and see my dead form lying still, they would only laugh and rejoice at my death, maybe Thor would be upset but not for long, for he too would forget that I was gone and continue on as though I was never there in the first place.

As I laid I heard the sound of alarms go off, soldiers running past to stop the intruder, but whoever was there was to late, or maybe they weren't maybe they were here for some other prisoner in which then they could come right in and let them for a moment glance and see what I had become, that I had become nothing more then an empty shell of the former god that I was, let them see what becomes of monsters like us, after our punishment has been decided and the torture begins, let them see that even after it's all over we're never truly free and sooner or later we die because we know it'll free everyone else from all the pain we have caused them and that even when they know that we're bleeding and dying that they just stand there, laughing and rejoicing that they're free of us, that there's one less monster for them to deal with, let them see the truth.

That was what I wanted was for whoever the poor fool was to see what becomes of people like us, those who just wanted to be an equal, to be great, to show the world that we're stronger then they thought, but in the end we're nothing more then freaks who will never be free of the damage that we caused or the pain and fear we carved into the world, that no matter what the world will never mourn our deaths, that no one will ever come to rescue us from our demons and that there's no escape for us, not even in death will we be free. As I laid there my body went numb and cold and I couldn't feel anything, I smiled as I watched the blood pool, but just like everything else I regreted giving up for before I closed my eyes and fell to darkness I saw the form of a savior, I saw him run into the room, take down the gaurds and rush into the cell but when he came it was to late and the last thing I heard was my name and the pain in his voice.


It was pained, scared, and the fear was unmistakeable in his eyes but all I could do was smile knowing that I was wrong and in the end Banner had kept his promise and he came for me. He actually came to save me just as he had promised if only I hadn't been a coward, if only I was stronger then I could have lived, I could still be saved by him knowing that he still cared but even that was enough for me to know that I would rest in peace knowing that I managed to find one friend, one person who still cared, to prove to someone that I had changed. I could feel him lift me up in his arms but I couldn't hear anything, couldn't feel anything but comfort and safety, I rested my head against his chest as the darkness enveloped around me.

This time tough the darkness was kinder, safer, it felt much more like I was falling asleep rather then the crueler form in which I spent years a prisoner too. Was this freedom? Was this how it felt to fall asleep in safety, knowing that nothing was going to hurt you? Was I truly free from it all. I do hope so, I truly hope that this is freedom and that nothing can hurt me anymore.



No, no he couldn't die not now not when I had come so far just to save him. I picked him up and I felt myself change and as I did I felt Loki rest against me and smile, he was still alive, still breathing but barely. I only had moments left before I lose him forever and that was not something I was willing to let happen. I was not going to lose him, not yet, not when we had both come so far, not after finally finding safety adn comfort in someone else knowing that we could tell them everything and they'd listen and that they'd understand that struggle.

I ran out of the room knocking down every gaurd that tried to stop me and when the Avengers meet me outside not even they were a match for me nor for Tony who joined the fight, even he could sense the urgency and knew that time was not on our side this time instead it was our enemy.

"Stop Bruce we don't want to hurt you again." Rogers said
"Puny humans no friend of Hulk."

"Bruce of course we're friends we stand together, we don't know what Loki has done to you but he..."
"Loki Hulks friend, Hulk going to save friends life."

Whenever I was Hulk my mind became muddled but now I thought with clearity, now I knew what I had to do and I remembered the urgency and how time was quickly running out.

"If Hulk's friends then let Hulk go."

"Bruce we can't let you take him."

"Let him go guys we were wrong." Tony tried

"Your in on this too Stark?"

From above their were arrows raining down and then an explosion me and Tony didn't look back as we ran, I picked up Tony and didn't stop until we were back at his house. I would have to thank Natasha and Clint when I saw them again but for now me and Tony rushed Loki to one of the medical rooms. I calmed back down and got to work, rushing around using all the medical equipment trying to save the god, I'm not expert at medical care nor have I ever had to try and save someone's life but I guess there's a first time for everything never would I have thought though that one day I would be rushing frantically trying to save Loki's life especially not after I beat him up the last time we faced each other. Never would I have thought that he could change nor that I could take pity on him.

"please don't die Loki, please don't die."

The good news was that he wasn't getting worse but at the same time he wasn't getting better, his skin was still a mix of blue and pale, his eyes shut closed, his smile had faded, and his breathing was shallow but I had done all that I could think of in order to save him and only time would decide his fate which so far hasn't been so merciful to us. Tony left me alone with Loki, only at night did he come to watch over Loki so that I could sleep but as I dreamt they were tinted nightmares of Loki, covered in blood, dying in my arms, I could see the cell that was his prison, could hear the gaurds laughing, hear his demons mix with my won as they laughed at my failur. They laughed and laughed and Loki kept dying, kept bleeding the same dream over and over and when I woke I would rush to him, to see that he was still breathing and that the blue tinge to his skin was slowly fading and it relieved me to know that he was still alive and that they were all wrong, that he was still alive and I wouldn't let him die not as long as there was still hope to save him.

"Loki please wake up, I know you want to die but I don't, I need you to live." as I sat next to him I held his limp hand "I don't want you to die, I still have a promise to keep to you, remember I was going to help you, I was going to save you from it all. I was going to prove to you that there was a way to be free of it all but I can't do that if your dead and there's still so much more then you think."

It was pointless I knew that to talk to him he probably couldn't even hear me and yet I felt like I had to say something, I had to keep talking to him to let him know that I was still here, still by his side and there I would stay. I used to hate these feelings because they always led me to hurt those I felt this way, if I ever cared about anyone I ended up smashing them into the ground when we argued or scaring them because of what I was but with Loki it was different. I wanted to feel this way, i wanted to care about him and I wanted to prove that, I wanted to save him, wanted to show him the light and that I would be here every step of the way to guide him. That I wasn't going to leave his side and no matter what I would always be here to protect him no matter what struggles came our way, I would always be here for him.

I had always wanted to be isolated and alone from the world because that way I wouldn't hurt anyone, the reason Loki wanted to be alone from the world was so that no one could hurt him, I didn't want to hurt anyone and he didn't want anyone to hurt him. We were both afraid of the world for two seperate reasons, I was afraid of what i would do to people and he was afraid of the pain they would cause him, was it destined that we would have so much in common and some how find ourselves taking comfort in each other or was it just conincedential that everything that has happened the past few days had come to be? There had to be a reason that all of this has happened or maybe I should just be grateful that it did and not ask questions about it, I had found someone who knew what it was like to struggle this way, found someone who i could trust, someone who needed and wanted me to be there for him and now I was being put to the test to prove that I would never leave him, that I was going to help him in every way possible.

In time maybe we could work together to show the world that we're different then the monsters they see us as but more as people who just want to make a difference. In time maybe even Odin and Thor can see that loki isn't a monster and that he has changed, that he's good and that he didn't deserve the punishment that he was given. But what if he was welcomed back after proving them all wrong, would he still go back? Would I possibly lose him again? That was a possibility but what if he refused their offer? Would he then stay here with me hopefully?

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