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Shadows of the Past

By Pengping

Action / Adventure

Deleted Scene

*The following scene was deleted from the Avengers movie in order to ensure clarity for the viewing audiences. If you are reading this, then it might be wise for you to read 'I Promise' to help you should understand this. It's barely 5 thousand words.*


SHIELD Helicarrier

Day of the Battle of New York


Thor held his breath subconsciously as he walked up to the glass prison the human had put his brother in. Loki was sitting at the back of the cell, leaning against the wall, eyes closed. He might have thought Loki was sleeping if he didn't know him so well.

"Go away Æsir," Loki ordered him without moving, his arrogant voice light and emotionless.

"Loki," Thor whispered, "Brother I-"

That got Loki to open his eyes and glare at Thor. "I am not your brother, son of Odin, and I do not wish to speak with you." 

His eyes, once emerald green, now had flecks of cerulean blue from his contact with the Tesseract.

"Brother…"

"Stop calling me that!" Loki near shouted. In one graceful move he stood and strode over to the glass with his feral stride. 

"I-am-not-your-brother," he emphasized every word. There was only a few inches between them now.

Loki's form changed, rippled, and for an instant Thor saw him as a Jötunn. He stepped back, caught off guard by Loki's true appearance.

"See? You call me brother but you flinch to. I'm a Jötunn monster." Loki spat. Something in his eyes cringed, hurt by Thor's reaction.

"You surprised me," Thor countered. He had never been any good at verbal sword fighting but, growing up with Loki, he had learned at least to hold his ground. "I've never seen you like that. People don't call you a monster because of how you look, it's from how you act."

"Wrong as ever Æsir," Loki shook his head, glamour back in place so he looked like an Æsir again. "You haven't changed a bit have you? You're just as naïve as ever. Life is harsh. It's something you survive, not enjoy. Maybe that's how it was for you but it was never like that for me, so I adapted. You were just as bad as Odin or Jaro because you never noticed or cared."

Thor closed his eyes. The anger, the hate in Loki's eyes cut Thor as if his brother were using his daggers. 

"You're right," Thor whispered, ashamed.

"You just, what?" Loki leaned back, surprised. Did Thor just surrender?

"You're right," Thor repeated, "just like always. I think a few times, I did notice how my friends acted around you when I wasn't paying attention, especially Sif, but I never thought anything of it. They were my friends though weren't they, not yours. Your friends were Angborn and Jeren and the rest of the Raven Blades. When they came, you almost abandoned spending time with me. It hurt but now that I actually think about it, I don't blame you one bit.

"And yeah, I did rely on you and your magic. You were like a safety net. In battle I was reckless and one reason for that was because I knew that if anything ever was going to happen to me, you'd dart in front of me. You kept me safe and I abused it terribly and the one time you needed me, I let you fall." The memory of Loki letting go of Gungnir haunted Thor. "Growing up, I always wondered what I did to deserve you. You are much better than I am, not so nearly such a selfish, spoiled brat like I was." 

Loki watched him, expression flawlessly neutral.

"Remember when we were children on that lake?" He asked quietly. "It was the first freeze of winter and the ice that covered it was thin. I ended up on that ice and was too scared to move because I didn't want it to break. You, you talked – taunted – me off the ice. And you did that knowing that the weakened ice would break under you. You couldn't even swim and I could."

Loki remembered that.

"So yes, I know, some of what happened," Thor sighed. "I hurt you so badly, I made you feel that you had to prove yourself when you never did. Everything that's happened with Jötunnheim and your attack on Germany, it's all my fault and I'm sorry I failed you. You, you're a much finer warrior then I am and would make the better king… brother…"

Loki gazed at him, the blue fading slightly from his eyes. "Thor."

 that was all he had wanted to hear, to have someone tell him that he wasn't a waste. Did he mean it though? This was Thor, and Thor couldn't lie to save his life.

Thor could tell Loki was fighting with himself, wanting to believe what had been said but not daring to. He had been let down too many times in the past for trust to come easily now.

*Oh please* a voice in Loki's head muttered. *He doesn't mean it, he's just trying to talk you down so you'll go back to Asgard quietly for Odin to sentence you.* Loki heard Chthon's voice. *We Chitauri have given you everything and all the Realms have done is hurt you, they deserve to be hurt in turn.*

Loki didn't respond. He had become use to having Chthon in his thoughts.

*All that time, growing up learning that Jötunns are monsters. That's obviously how everyone thinks of you* Chthon swayed. *You saw Thor flinch from you, scared. He knows not what pain is, what suffering is.*

Loki's gaze flittered back to Thor. He looked miserable. That made Loki feel happy. Thor has everything he could ever want. He left me with nothing so I have to take what I want.

*Yes. He has a father and a home and a crown. You, you are just the second son, no, not even that. Odin meant for you to just be a hostage, a prisoner of war to keep Laufey in line. This pampered fool knows nothing of how it hurt growing up for you.*

Chthon was right Loki relented. 

"You don't understand Æsir," Loki's voice turned cold again.

Rats, almost had him. Loki, can't you tell I mean what I say? "Then tell me," Thor threw his hands up. "Please, I just found out you were Jötunn a few hours ago."

Loki's guard was down, and he didn't expect that. "What?"

"Odin finally deemed it important enough to tell me that we had different fathers." Thor shook his head. "He's infuriating. He sent three Blood Wolves to clean your room out. Slítas took care of them until I got there and shooed them off."

"He what?" Loki growled. "That's my room."

"On Asgard," Thor smiled. "Your home."

"Stop," Loki ordered, "your logic will give me a headache. What are you trying to get me to do? Tell you where the Tesseract is? I already said, it's been moved," he smiled and held his hands away from his body, "and I know not where."

Thor didn't respond, but his expression must have given him away for Loki rolled his eyes. "Predictable. All your talk of brothers is just a ploy to make me betray the Chitauri. You do not betray the Chitauri and live to tell the tale and I do not intend to end up like that."

*Watch it Jötunn,* Chthon warned Loki telepathically. *Your loyalty is admirable, but take care how much you say about us.*

*I am not a fool enough to expose that you live still Elder God.*

Chthon growled slightly at his former title. *Take care you do not.*

Thor saw Loki's eyes turn distant. He knew that look. Loki was telepathically speaking to someone. His sensitivity to magic meant that, with his hand on the glass, he could feel a cold, shadowy, alien presence in Loki's cell.

Who was he speaking to? Thor thought. He wanted to find out where the Tesseract was, but that was secondary. More than anything he just wanted his brother back before he killed again.

He reached into his pocket and drew his secret weapon – Tilaria's charm bracelet. "When Odin told me you were Jötunn he also said you were under the protection of a race called the Chitauri. For being under their protection, you were desperate enough to get this to me in that dream."

Loki's next snappy response disappeared unsaid.

"You haven't let this out of your sight since Tilaria disappeared thirty years ago," Thor continued. "You're right about one thing, she's already died once so she's not going to be easy to kill a second time. No body, no proof that she really is dead."

"He would have broken it," Loki whispered.

"Who?" Thor demanded. "Brother, I can't help you if you don't at least tell me what's going on." 

He set his empty hand on the glass again. For an instant, Thor thought Loki was going to answer him, and then that shadowy presence returned, hissing a warning that Loki was pushing his luck. A warning Thor somehow heard.

*I can conquer one world without you babysitting my every thought! And I will get you the Tesseract if you let me!* Loki shouted at Chthon, snapped back to his senses. 

He felt a pressure on his throat, a warning to shut up before he got Chthon truly mad at him. Loki dropped the subject.

Thor lowered his hand and rubbed his fingers as if trying to get rid of a stickiness. During that dream where he had gotten the bracelet, that presence in Loki's mind was attacking him and now Loki was talking to it, obeying it. Loki never obeyed anyone, he was stubborn like that. It had just told him to shut up. 

Under Chitauri protection my eye Odin. "Loki, brother, who are the Chitauri?"

"I am not your brother Æsir," Loki growled. "And as for the Chitauri, you and the rest of Midgard will find out very soon."

That didn't sound good at all.

"Will you tell me naught?" Thor demanded. "Does our childhood mean nothing to you?"

"No, it does not son of Odin and after the Chitauri help me claim Midgard, they will go to Asgard. And I, for one, cannot wait to sit and watch as Asgard burns." Loki's voice tapered off, becoming quieter and focusing Thor to step forward to listen at the end of it. The God of Lies smiled, insanity reflecting in his once pure emerald eyes.

Loki glanced at Tilaria's charm bracelet and then walked back and resumed his original position, tuning Thor out. *It is like you told me Chthon, Thor is the reason for all the hurt I've been through. You don't have to worry about my old loyalty to him coming into play.*

In the security room, Natasha Romanoff steeped her fingers together and looked at the video monitor that showed Thor walking away from Loki's cell with a frustrated look. "Well, that was interesting."


It really bothered me that in the Avengers movie, Thor didn't go visit Loki in his cell. Thor still considered Loki his brother and he didn't try to talk some sense into him again! That was annoying, so i made a scene. 

The rest of the story takes place after Avengers. The scene on the lake is the first chapter of "A Different Kind of Courage" which is already posted. You don't really have to read it to get it.

Tilaria is important to Loki. Put simply, he loved her. 30 years ago, she vanished and her room was covered in her blood. Loki never really recovered from losing her. The basics about her are covered in the story "The Supers Before the Heroes," which is her intro story. It's 10 thousand words if you want to read it.

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