Shadows of the Past

Regret

Loki hated confined spaces. His light, mischievous nature and his tendency to travel between the realms at a whim when he was younger meant that being in one small space irritated him. He supposed it was his own fault. When he had been brought back at first, Frigga and Thor had talked Odin into locking him in his room. A prison more fitting for someone his rank.

Frustrated at being ignored and forgotten after two weeks in there, he had attempted an escape. His room had been guarded by two Star Guard, Blood Wolves. Although his room had been partially cleared and all the known weapons removed, he was still able to make do.

All he had needed to do was remove the wards over the mirror in the bathroom protecting it and smash the glass. Then he had lowered the barriers around his room and unlocked the doors – something he had learned to do long ago. Since he had never revealed that he knew how to get out, Odin had never changed the spells. He had surprised the Guards when he kicked open his doors suddenly, one of the long shards of glass in his hand.

Sif, that hothead, had been among the group that later recaptured and had tried to skew him with her spear – Loki had broken half her ribs. The Ravens there had started fighting with him and, rather than kill Jeren, Loki dropped the bloody glass. When they had gone to check on the two guards they found both dead. One had his throat cut so deep it had raked his spine, a look of surprise on his features even in death. The other had managed to draw his blade and the sword was still in his hand. His hand was several feet from his body.

Loki had got thrown in the dungeon. He had been asking for it, but it reminded Odin that he existed and sped up his sentence. It wasn't like he expected to make it through this alive. In fact, it might be better Odin kill him. It would be a mercy compared to what the Chitauri would do if they got ahold of him.

"You think you know pain? We will make you long for something as sweet as pain." Chton's promise haunted him. I never gave the Chitauri the Tesseract.

Angborn giving him Slítas was unexpected but not unwelcome. I get to say goodbye to him and he'll still be around, likely Angborn will adopt him. That was good. It wasn't his cobra's fault what had happened to Loki. Slitas never abandoned me, in fact, he still hasn't. I have one friend here at least.

Unfortunately, he still had four days left and there was nothing to do in here but think.

He didn't regret letting those Jötunns into the Weapons Vault during Thor's coronation although those two Star Guard getting killed was unexpected. They should have been between patrols so there wasn't anyone in there but they changed their schedule. Everything that happened after that…

He clenched a hand. It seemed he had underestimated Thor's idiocy. Well, he had tried to talk Thor out of going to Jötunnheim but in the end we faced Laufey anyway. Then the battle against them and that Jötunn he killed grabbing him; the touch from the Frostburn fading where it should have burned. Only Jötunns are immune to Jötunn Frostburn.

Odin banishing Thor was another unexpected event. Then, with Thor gone, I got too curious for my own good, went into Odin's Weapon Vault, and found that my entire life has been lie.

He banged his head against the wall he was sitting against. Odin, mother… they were lying. It was impossible to guess how many other adults knew in addition to them. My whole life Odin let me on, letting me believe that if I just kept trying hard enough I would earn his praise, his love. What a fool I was.

Slítas, perhaps sensing the turn Loki's thoughts were taking, raised his head and nipped Loki's neck, taking care not to draw blood. Loki reached up and tried to pet him, hating the cuffs. He supposed they were necessary but was the muzzle? The straps were chafing him and it was keeping his jaws clamped shut with a metal bit between his teeth. Despite Loki being able to touch the release mechanisms he could not loosen them.

He lowered his hands from scratching Slítas under the chin, wishing he could breathe. What tattered fragments of his magic that were left hummed softly, just out of his reach from the cuffs, their song pained. Thor pretends to be on my side and then he runs off to that mortal woman, Loki thought harshly. He flinched from me to, scared of me, the Jötunn monster. I stand alone.

Unbidden, his thoughts of being alone gravitated towards Tilaria. Her mother had been an Æsir but she had grown up her whole life thinking that her father was a light elf. Growing up a Halfling on Alfheim – a realm where its race considered purity blood the most important thing – had been hard, her childhood not a good one. The fact that King Hallien and the now deceased Queen Anastasia had been her foster parents had made it all that much harder. A half breed being raised by Alfheim's royal family… Alfheim's Prince, Eragon, had been the only good thing on Alfheim, calling her sister.

When Tilly had found out that her father was really Prince Malekith of the Dark Elves, the most infamous being in the realms, she had been devastated. Hel, who had taken a liking to her had talked her into coming to Niflheim. Then Hel kidnapped me so I could go there and calm Tilaria down in person, help her break her addiction to Fel.

Tilly… What would she think of me? She'd probably flinch away as Thor had done. Loki hadn't been scared of her when she had shown her true Dark Elf form – her skin turning silver, the whites of her eyes black. How could he? She still scuffed her foot and glared at her boots the same way she always did when she got shy. It was still her. It hardly matters I suppose, she's gone.

He closed his eyes and, irritatingly, relived the memory of killing that human – what was his name, Coulson? Why was it bothering him so much?! Loki had killed before Coulson, he'd fought in the Celestial War. Those he killed at New York and Germany didn't bother him, why did Coulson? Had it been the look on Thor's face when Loki's scepter had appeared in Coulson's chest? Thor's pained shout as if he were losing a close friend? Thor's obvious pain should have made the death of Coulson that much sweeter. Let Thor feel the pain of losing everything for once.

He glared outside his cell, watching a Star Guard walk by. It was a Blood Wolf. Odin hadn't learned his lesson it seemed. Loki didn't flinch from killing Blood Wolves.

Odin's perfect golden boy. He's never been through any hardships before but I have and it's about time he got a taste of loss. Now if only I wasn't trapped in here. What would I do first? It's just too bad Thor and I never got to finish our fight in the Bifrost. We continued it at New York but we never did finish it. I wonder who would have won.

Footsteps approached his cell, two sets. "Where's my bow?"

Loki frowned at Jeren's voice. He had heard part of the conversation between Angborn and Jeren and knew he was down here so he supposed he shouldn't be so surprised. Jeren walked into Loki's line of sight, stopping outside one of the gold forceshields.

"You weapons are with your squad Raven," the Wolf sneered.

"What, I don't get it back for good behavior?" Jeren asked smartly.

"Hardly," the Wolves voice echoed. "I will be so glad when you Ravens are disbanded. Your last act is to escort your creator to his execution and then you're gone with that murderer."

Jeren clenched his hands. That was normally enough to warrant a brawl for him. It almost did by but he remembered his promise to Angborn. Getting thrown back in his cell would do Loki no good. Loki could have killed me when he escaped last week and gotten away but he hesitated, left my throat in one piece, and got caught again. He wouldn't kill me. That is still my prince!

Remarkable restraint, Loki thought, Jeren didn't deck the Wolf. His next thought was an instantaneous one, one he made when Jeren looked at him. He flicked his right hand, signing out seven letters. Certainly, the Star Guard had hand signs to use in battle but they were simple one word commands. The human's sign language was far more complex. Because Loki knew it, the Ravens knew it.

The Wolf had turned around and hadn't noticed the exchange. "What's the matter Raven, forgot how to fly?" The wolf taunted.

Jeren bit back an insult, now he really couldn't afford to start a fight. He had a summons to relay.

The only reason Loki could think that he had given Jeren that order was that they never did get to finish their fight and Loki never had had a chance to kill him again. Let's see how much my words will hurt him.

g-e-t-t-h-o-r

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