Chapter 3 - Going Crazy
While I gave up on my fanatical vampire chase, something still drew me to the mysterious couple. I found myself looking over to them more than I had before, though I was no longer incessantly studying about vampires. I was sure Edward and Bella looked at me too, wondering why I would not stop gazing at them with leery eyes. My conversations with David also began to die down, and I was wondering if the entire world started to think I was a lunatic. Why wouldn't they with the way I was behaving?
I tried my best to avoid any contact with anyone. If I really had any special talents, I used them to my advantage to make anyone want to avoid me. I wouldn't say I was falling into a depression any more than an obsession, but something was definitely wrong with me. Another thing I noticed: the Cullens don't eat. Not once have I ever seen them eat nor smelled any food in the few times I went to their apartment. Not once have I ever seen them unloading groceries. I said I wasn't studying them anymore, but I guess I was just trying to convince myself.
I was hiking in the mountains one day - an advice from my brother. He was worried about me losing my mind and falling into the abyss of depression since I was alone now. He suggested I try to use my muscles and get my mind clear, but my hike did nothing more than plunge me into a deeper questionable zeal. I found animals, torn apart in ways that no human could do, but no animal would kill another and leave all the meat untouched. I started to produce theories again: no murder stories came up because these were passive vampires that fed on animal blood. This time, my brother didn't laugh. His voice was more concerned than anything else.
"Don't you think it's time to call quits on the whole vampire shpeal?" he would ask me, sympathy drowning his voice.
"I guess..." was all I could muster up, preoccupied with my many theories. I knew why he was concerned. I saw the mess of my own reflection every morning. My face was deep with dark circles under my sleepless eyes and my jaws were caved in, an image both frightening and troublesome. If I saw David in my condition, I too would be concerned. Even Dr. Phillips had begun to avoid me, though I was once his favorite student.
The next morning, I decided it was time to attempt to return to reality. My body was begging to be fed properly, to sleep, and my studies I left neglected in the corner of my room were screaming out to me. My roommate brought his computer from the common area into his room to minimize contact with me. But as always, my life needed to ensure that I would not get what I wanted, and I was not allowed to go back to my normal life, I could not forget.
"Bella!" I heard the familiar name that rang in my head every waking moment of my life. The call woke me from my slumber, and I rubbed my eyes. I stared groggily at the outline of my forehead imprinted into my Molecular Biology textbook.
"Shh! Someone might hear!" I heard Bella's reprimand towards the unfamiliar voice. I was slightly irritated that someone had found my secret alcove in the middle of the woods, not too far up the mountain range. Here, it was not too cold as the thick bushes and trees blocked most of the wind as well as the snow that otherwise blanketed the grounds. It had been a sunny day - although dense clouds now covered the sky - and I was here to try and catch up on my work in isolation.
"Someone is here," Bella whispered so quietly I could barely hear it. Did she see me? No, it couldn't be. I hid myself perfectly well in the shrubs like some fragile animal hiding from the wildlife. Perhaps she had some extrasensory perceptions and could sense humans; if she were a vampire, it would make sense for her to be able to smell our blood and locate us for hunting.
"Mm, smells yummy," the male voice echoed.
"Stop it, Emmett," Bella muttered.
"So this is your Rocky Road," he chuckled. "I could see why."
"Emmett!" Bella scolded.
"What? I didn't say anything I'm not allowed to," I could see him now, a burly man double the size of Edward. The same marble-white skin and golden eyes.
"Just stop," Bella groaned and started walking towards my direction. I didn't know why my heart was racing? I wasn't doing anything wrong, this was my spot that they were invading. Sure I had been eavesdropping, but I could easily pretend that I was still asleep. I had no reason to be afraid. It wasn't like she would kill me if she knew that I was listening, even if she could.
"Such a healthy heartbeat too," Emmett chimed.
"I will kick your ass if you don't stop," Bella warned. Her? Fight him? I doubted if that little girl could do any harm to a guy that big, vampire or not.
"Bella, time to bail!" Emmett said pointing to the sky that was quickly clearing up again. A thin beam of sun was starting to creep out from the thick clouds.
"Okay," Bella mumbled reluctantly, looking one more time in my direction and taking a deep breath like a lion trying to catch a whiff of its prey's scent. They quickly ran off, a little too fast for an average human, but if they were athletes, it wasn't anything I could say was out of the ordinary. Until I saw a little glitter off the back of Emmett's neck. Was I dreaming?
I tried to get up from where I was, still trying to reason with myself whether I was imagining something or if Emmett's skin was glowing. I tried to diminish my vampire thoughts, but I could not control them as they haunted me every night. The more I tried to repress it, the more they appeared in my dreams. Suddenly, I had the most terrifying feeling that I was being watched. I looked around myself to see if anyone was around, but I saw nothing. Were there any wild animals prancing around the school campus that I didn't know about? I picked myself up off the ground and dusted my clothes, and I saw a quick movement through my peripheral vision, but when I looked towards that direction, nothing was there. No movement of leaves or soil, nothing that proved that something had been there to begin with. I was going crazy.