Monster in the Mirror

Chapter 59

As soon as Randy came to a stop, he crouched down to our level with a surprisingly-happy grin on his face. "You did it! You destroyed the 'Taco Bell' imposters, while your brother disarmed the Snuke! South Park is saved!" he cheered, making me wonder how Alex managed to do that, only to decide I didn't want to know: judging by the sickly-green color of Alex's partially-exposed face. As he stood back up, Eric adjusted his hat and picked up his stick off the floor before speaking up.

"Yes, now it's time to finish this, Commander. Let's beat Clyde once and for all and reclaim The Stick of Truth!" he said as he raised his stick in the air before storming past me and led the way down the hallway and into the direction of the final room of the massive treehouse, that ironically had a paper sign with the words 'Evil Throne Room' written in purple crayon with a pair of black skull and crossbones drawn on either side of the writing.

Looking closer, I saw blood-red fabric covering the doorway and blocking our vision from seeing what was inside: making me wary of the obvious ambush waiting for us inside. "You should rejoice, Commander: it'll all be worth it once we get The Stick back." the Grand Wizard said as I swallowed nervously before nodding curtly as I stepped next to him as we walked through the red curtains at the same time, cueing the others to follow as I spotted Kenny running up the stairs behind us while holding his dress above the ground as he hurried to catch up with us.

Sending him a welcoming smile, I let him give me a one-arm hug before we readied our weapons and walked across the short bridge to the place where Clyde held The Stick hostage and I couldn't help but notice the multiple red biohazard barrels scattered around the treehouse, not giving me a good feeling at all. Pushing aside the forest-green shower curtains, I cleared the path for the united races to enter Clyde's throne room: where the Warlord in question stood between a red barrel and a red chair with a pair of cardboard 'horns' taped to the sides with a white skull painted on the back.

Taking a closer look at the barrel, I gulped nervously as I saw a spigot with a clear tube attached to it and leading to a large, dirty coffin to the far right of the room. 'How the HELL did these kids get a fucking COFFIN up here?!' I thought in morbid amazement before glaring at Clyde as he let out that half-assed evil laugh again: and I clearly wasn't the only one pissed off with him at this point. "Fools! You thought you could conquer the Fortress of Darkness?!" Clyde yelled as he rested his right hand on the valve of the spigot, making all of us shift nervously at the crazed, maniacal look in his eyes as he tightly gripped The Stick in his left hand.

"Clyde! Back away from that stuff!" Stan called, trying to reason with the friend that had clearly fallen to madness as a loud crack of thunder sounded, startling Alex and the rest of the boys from their dazed stupor. "Oh, but I have yet to complete my army! You have come to witness the power of Darkness!" Clyde said as his grip tightened on the valve, making me narrow my eyes at him. "Clyde, I'm warning you right now: what you are playing with CAN'T be controlled, you release that stuff…you can get everyone killed!" I shouted, making a sarcastic laugh escape Clyde's mouth: as if he thought I was joking.

"Saphira's right, Clyde: you have NO idea what that stuff is!" Kyle said as he stared across the room with a worried look on his face. "Yeah huh, it's Green Sauce from Taco Bell. I took it from their construction site." Clyde explained, making me slap myself in the face in a heavy face-palm at his sheer stupidity as Eric slammed the end of his stick down on the floor. "Dude, that's not Taco Bell sauce: that construction site is a government secret base!" Stan tried to reason again, only for his plea to fall on deaf ears as Eric decided to try his luck at getting through to the bull-headed kid.

"It leaked out of a fucking UFO, CLYDE! Its toxic goo from another galaxy! THINK ABOUT IT! SINCE WHEN DOES TACO BELL HAVE A GREEN SAUCE, DUDE?!" Eric yelled as he poked the side of his head for emphasis, making me raise my eyebrows in shock. 'That has to be the most intelligent thing he has ever said.' I thought as my attention was stolen by Kyle as he just HAD to go and ruin it. "Actually, since about a year ago." he said, drawing everyone's attention to him while I shared a deadpanned look with Alex. "What?!" Eric questioned, as if he hadn't heard what Kyle said as I pulled my hood lower over my face in shame. 'You guys get distracted WAY too easily.' I thought with a heavy sigh as I decided to humor the boys for a minute.

"Taco Bell has a Green Sauce now." Kyle repeated, causing a look of disbelief to appear on Eric's face. "No way." he denied, as if he thought Kyle was kidding when he actually wasn't. "They've had it longer than a year I've always gotten Spicy Green Burritos." Stan corrected as he turned to look at Kyle, completely forgetting about the pretty serious situation we were currently stuck in. "Boys." I called, trying to get their attention to focus back on the fact that Clyde could very well kill us with the stuff inside that barrel. "Yeah, no, I'm saying in the packets. They've just started putting Green Sauce in packets." Kyle continued, ignoring me as Eric suddenly whirled around and stood face-to-face with Kyle and Stan.

"The Fuck?! How the fuck did I miss this?" Eric questioned as he prepared to get into an argument we just didn't have time for. "BOYS!" I yelled, making Eric jump as they all turned to me with various expressions, only to become serious again as I jerked my head in Clyde's direction as he continued his typical 'Evil Mastermind' rant. "HA HA! I DON'T SEEM SO FOOLISH NOW, DO I!?" he cackled as if he had just proven his point that the toxic waste was in fact Green Sauce and was completely harmless. "Clyde! Listen to us, damnit! That stuff is DANGEROUS!" I yelled as Kyle stepped forward and pointed angrily at him with a nasty glare on his face.

"That doesn't mean YOU have Taco Bell Green Sauce, dipfuck!" Kyle insulted, making me raise my eyebrow at the normally level-headed elf king that seemed to be rapidly losing his patience. "Yeah, Clyde, why do you think that shit's GLOWING?!" Stan argued, proving a very good point: only to have it fly completely over Clyde's head as the Dark Lord in question glanced nonchalantly at the red biohazard barrel before looking at us again. "Maybe because of the three varieties of Chili Peppers." Clyde replied, making me punch myself in the head at the sheer STUPIDITY of this kid.

"Clyde, I'm going to warn you just this once: get away from that stuff, before I say 'fuck the rules' and make you!" I growled, ignoring the instant silence as the boys all looked at me nervously: as though they believed I would do to Clyde what I've done to Blackwatch. "You really think you can stand up to the Lord of Darkness and my army of the undead?! Don't make me laugh, New Kid: you think you're the all high and mighty 'Savior', but this day you will pay for not joining me!" Clyde declared, making my vision turn a slight-orange color as Eric stomped forward with a pissed off look on his face.

"Just give us The Stick, asshole." he said as he held his hand out, obviously getting tired of this argument going in circles with no end in sight. Blinking as a bright flash of lightning followed by a loud 'crack' of thunder, I watched in numb horror as Clyde's eyes flashed dangerously before a malicious smirk stretched across his face. "Or what? You'll beat me up? Ha Ha…I've got another surprise for you!" he exclaimed as he turned the valve: releasing the neon-green goo through the clear hose and gradually across the floor and into the coffin resting on a medical gurney.

"Saphy…" Alex whimpered as he tightened his grip on my jacket and hit behind me like the scared little kid he was. Stepping in front of him, I readied my sword and shared a determined look with the boys, making sure everyone was ready for whatever was going to break out of that coffin. For a few tense seconds, nothing happened: until the green goo stopped flowing into the coffin, where mere seconds later a large decaying fist punched through the lid of the stone coffin. 'That can't be good.' I thought as the fist was joined by a second: forcing the lid to crack and break apart before falling to the floor with a loud 'crash': allowing the decaying zombie free-reign to leave his final resting place.

'Honestly Clyde, how dare you disturb the resting dead?' I thought in disgust, taking pity on the dead man that had been disturbed from his peace and was now being forced to fight us against whatever will he would've had. He was a big guy with a full beard on his face, a white Chef's hat on top of his head while a stained and torn red shirt covered his big round belly. Ignoring the Swastika on his left arm, I noticed his decaying, green flesh was a darker color than the other zombies I had seen: giving me the idea that this man might've been dark-skinned when he was alive.

As he opened his eyes and stared at us, I noticed that his face was covered in stitches, making me feel even worse for the poor guy. It was then that the zombie sat up in his coffin and unlike the other Nazi zombies: THIS one started SINGING! "I'm gonna make love to ya womannnn…." he sang, making the boys cry out in fear: making me wonder if they knew this man, which was a possibility considering how small the town was.

As the zombie hopped out of his coffin, I saw that his red shirt was shredded at the bottom: exposing a 'delightful' view of his stitched-up but decaying belly as some of his stitches came loose and gave me an even 'better' view of his innards: making me extremely grateful that his blue jeans weren't in the same condition.

"Ich werde meinen Meister durch die Vernichtung zuerst, Sie beschissen Ausrede für eine Assassin's Creed wannabe bitte." the zombie said, turning to me as he raised his right arm, making an angry scowl appear on my face as Eric started laughing his ass off, despite the circumstances. "Well, fuck you too, Mr. Zombie and shut the hell up Cartman!" I snapped as he pulled off his hat and used it to wipe the tears from his eyes. "Do we WANT to know what he said?" Kenny asked as I clenched my fists and fought the urge to smack the fatass…or knock him out of the treehouse.

"He said he was going to please his 'Master' by killing me first…and also called me a shitty excuse for an Assassin's Creed wannabe." I mumbled as Eric laughed harder, making me deflate at the extremely-personal insult, making Kenny slap a hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. Nodding my thanks, I sniffled before I narrowed my hidden eyes at the zombie I once held pity for, and I still do: only now I felt pity for what was going to be left after I was finished with him.

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