Chapter one: Hamburgers and the End of All Life As We Know It
"For the last time Mew…" Darkrai said angrily, growing impatient. He held up in his black hands two pieces of fruit, an orange and an apple, one in each hand.
"The apple is RED and the orange is... well...ORANGE!" Darkrai repeated for the fifteenth time, hoping Mew would finally get it. Darkrai wanted to get back to his own things he needed to do, like figuring out how impress Lopunny for instance.
"Which one's the apple?" Mew asked innocently.
"The RED fruit!" said the dark type angrily.
Arceus, God of all legendary Pokemon, had previously ordered Darkrai to help Mew learn about stuff, because Mew didn't know so much about stuff, being only five. And so, Darkrai was (forced) to teach the pink furball about stuff. They were currently in the Hall of Origin, the base of all Legendaries.
Today's lesson: The color spectrum.
"THIS is an apple! It is RED!!" Darkrai said, holding an apple, "And THIS is an ORANGE. It is ORANGE!! Get it!?" shouted the prince of darkness. Mew paused, as if contemplating something.
"…So which one's the banana again?" he asked.
"THERE IS NO BANANA!" the dark type shouted in rage. His little brother was ticking him off very much right now. To say it irked him would be an understatement. More like, it REALLY irked him.
"Oh! I get it!" Mew suddenly exclaimed, "That's an apple!" he said, pointing to the apple, "And that's an orange!" he said, pointing to the orange. Darkrai was stunned. Did Mew finally get it…?
"Excellent! So you understand colors now?!" the prince of darkness asked eagerly, wanting to do more important things than teach kids about-
"What's a color?" Mew asked.
Darkrai fell down, hitting his head very hard on the floor.
He immediately got back up, smoking in anger.
"I'M GONNA SHOVE A DARK VOID RIGHT UP YOR-"
"Don't finish that sentence, little brother." a new voice commanded in a superior tone. The prince of darkness narrowed his eyes.
"Oh great. Now Ms. Lunar queen has arrived." Darkrai said sarcastically. He turned around to face his older sister, Cresselia. She was a pink, yellow and blue swan like Pokemon. She held her face upwards, as if she was looking down upon her twin.
"Why thank you little brother, perhaps you finally understand the hierarchy now." Cresselia mocked. Darkrai narrowed his eyes further.
"If you mean that you're lower than dirt, then yes. And stop calling me 'little' brother!" Darkrai retorted angrily.
"Why not, LITTLE BROTHER? I AM older than you after all." the swan said her usual superiority tone.
"BY ONE WEEK!" Darkrai shouted back.
"Yes. And that makes me one week wiser, more beautiful and generally better than you will ever be." his sister smirked. Her twin stared at her, fuming.
"Cresselia. You're the second to die."
"Pft. Empty threats." Cresselia rolled her eyes, floating away. However she then turned back to face the dark type. "Wait a minute. You said 'second'. Who's the first?" both of them turned around because they heard a munching sound. They saw their little brother Mew, happily eating Darkrai's apple.
"HEY! STOP EATING MY TEACHING INSTRUMENTS!!" Darkrai shouted as he ran (floated?) over to Mew, and snatched the apple away. Apparently, Darkrai was too late, as there was left was the core.
"Darkrai!" Mew exclaimed, "The apples insides are yellow! Does that mean that apples are secretly bananas?"
"NO!! …Wait a minute! How the hell did you know that bananas are yellow when you don't know apples are red!?"
"What's a yellow?"
Darkrai immediately went berserk and began to attack the pink psychic type in a frenzy of dark empowered attacks. His little brother ran away in sheer terror of the pursuing ghost-like legendary.
Suddenly, from out of nowhere, Arceus, God of all Pokemon, teleported into the room.
"I have an announcement!" she declared. Unfortunately for her, she teleported right into Darkrai's running floating pattern, and her son rammed into Arceus trying to kill Mew. God was sent flying into a wall as a result, making a loud crash upon impact.
"…Oh crap." Darkrai said, realizing what he had done. The omnipotent legendary got up and said in divine rage:
"WHO DID THAT!?" Arceus looked directly at Darkrai, waiting for a response. Fearful of Arceus' punishments (which were always extremely harsh), the teen spat out in terror
"PALKIA DID IT!" he pointed to the guardian of space, who just randomly walked into the room.
"Hmm?" the giant legend said in confusion. Arceus ran floated up to him.
"Palkia," Arceus accused "for doing this deed, you shall be punished!"
"No please!" he pleaded, even though he had no clue what he did wrong. Palkia knew very well that Arceus' punishments were all harsh and cruel. Sometimes, legendary Pokemon were wiped off the face of the earth "Please don't blow me up into a billion pieces and scatter them across the cosmos!" Palkia said desperately.
"I COULD do that…" God began, "But I'm going to do something FAR worse…" Palkia began sweating profusely now.
"No videogames for a week."
"BUT MOOOOOOOOOMMMM…." the guardian of space wailed.
"ONE WEEK!" Arceus said fiercely, stamping her hoof on the ground. Palkia grumbled and went up to his room saddened because now he could no longer play HALO online… truly the worst punishment in the universe, much more painful than being blown up atom by atom.
The white equine regained her composure, and looked at the lunar and eclipse Pokemon. The latter was nervously whistling and the former was glaring at the latter.
"You two, I need to have a word with you both." she commanded. Darkrai and Cresselia walked floated up to the divine legendary.
"I have an important announcement!" Arceus said again, "One that could drastically affect the entire world if left unchecked!!" Cresselia and Darkrai began to listen intently as their extremely powerful mother cleared her throat.
"I'M HUNGRY!!" she shouted.
Darkrai fell down.
"THAT'S IT!?" the prince of darkness flailed his arms in exasperation, "THAT'S THE IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!?"
"FOOL!" Arceus said back, "Me being hungry IS a big deal!! Weren't you paying attention when I went over this last week?"
"Hmm…" the dark type teenager thought back.
FLASHBACK- ONE WEEK AGO
"…And so, I'm probably going be hungry next week," Arceus said to all the legendaries who had gathered in the center of the Hall of Origin, "Now you must pay attention to this part because-"
"NOW IF SHE DOES IT LIKE THIS, WELL YA' DO IT LIKE THAT!
NOW IF SHE TOUCHES LIKE THIS, THEN YA' TOUCH 'ER RIGHT BACK!
NOW IF SHE MOVES LIKE THIS, THEN YA' MOVE IT LIKE THAT!
C'MON! SHAKE SHAKE! SHAKE SHAKE, SHAKE IT!!!!"
If Arceus had hands, she would have slapped herself. Cresselia, who had hands, did it for her.
"YOU HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION MORE!"
"Tch…" Darkrai muttered, crossing his arms.
"Okay look, the reason that this is important, is because I only get hungry once every year!" God started all over again, "And when I get hungry, I usually crave hamburgers!"
"…And this affects the entire world HOW?" her black colored son said sarcastically.
"BECAUSE," Arceus said impatiently "If I don't get a hamburger by the end of a twelve hour period, my stomach will implode, and because I am a god, it will turn into a super massive black hole that will suck up everything in sight and cause THE END OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT!!" Arceus finished dramatically. Darkrai and Cresselia's eyes widened.
Their eyes widened even more when Arceus' stomach began growling.
"…It's begun…" Arceus narrowed her eyes, "Darkrai! Cresselia! You two must go down to earth and get me a hamburger! With no onions!"
"Wait… Why do WE have to do it!? You're a god aren't you, can't you use your omnipotent powers to create a hamburger instead?!" Darkrai questioned.
"I can't!" God blurted out, "Hamburgers are one of the few substances in the universe that my powers have no control over! Another one is pencil shavings!"
"Look, it has to do with their molecular structure which-"
"I don't want to know." Darkrai put out his hand to halt her speech. Cresselia stepped forward, eager to prove herself.
"Very well, we shall get you one hamburger." she smiled. Arceus smiled at her daughter, "Oh by the way, you have to take Mew with you." remembered Arceus.
"WHAT!?" Darkrai blurted out, "There is no way I'll take that stupid furball with me!!"
"Darkrai! It's either that, or the world is going to end!" his sister scolded.
Darkrai weighed his choices. World ending VS being within twenty feet of Mew for over two minutes. He contemplated for about thirty seconds.
"Yeah, I'll take the end of the world option please." The prince of darkness said after contemplation.
"Darkrai!" Cresselia scolded "…Okay fine! If you help us, I won't submit your diary to the internet!" Darkrai was taken aback and he blushed profusely.
"I-I-I DON'T HAVE A DIARY!" the embodiment of nightmares said, red in the face. Cresselia pulled out a black book. Darkrai looked at it and gasped.
"That's not mine." said Darkrai quickly. The lunar swan turned the book over, and on that side was 'Property of Darkrai'.
"That's not me." Darkrai insisted. Cresselia turned it again, and on that side was a picture of Darkrai on it, genuine proof he did own a diary.
"Hah! Little bro has a diary!" Dialga said as he randomly walked in.
"IT'S CALLED A JOURNEL!!" Darkrai shouted desperately. The guardian of time turned around and kept on laughing. Once he was a safe distance away, Dialga's look was replaced with fear.
"Oh crap, I hope Cresselia didn't find mine…"
BACK TO DARKRAI!
"Fine! I'll take the idiot along…" Darkrai bitterly admitted as he crossed his arms. Cresselia shortly got Mew, who was happy to go on an adventure, and they were ready to take the portal to go to Earth. Arceus gave them one last piece of advice beforehand.
"Oh! Mewtwo should already be down on Earth, so make sure he doesn't go ballistic and turn Pokemon into newts or something!" Arceus' stomach growled again, and she winced to hold it in "Hurry!" And with that, all three jumped through the swirling pinkish purple portal.
A burst of intense white light later, Darkrai, Cresselia and Mew arrived on Earth, the portal successful teleporting them ten thousand feet below the Hall.
"We made it to earth!" Cresselia announced.
"Thank you for noting the obvious." noted her brother sarcastically. Cresselia glared at her younger brother. Darkrai ignored her glance and looked around for a hamburger joint.
"Well, let's get this over with." Darkrai said with impatience.
"Oh, would you stop being all doom and gloom?" Cresselia rolled her eyes "It's getting a hamburger. This will be easy!"
???: "Or WILL it!?!
All three heads turned, especially Darkrai's. He knew that voice, that deep dark tone, he just hoped that he was just hearing things and that what he heard wasn't-
"Malispite!" his sister exclaimed.
So much for that.
In front of the trio stood a tall brown bat shaped creature with large wings on its back, and three tails. He was colored greenish blue in certain parts of his body shaped like tattoo's, and the crown of his head was sand colored. Malispite smirked at them with his green eyes.
"I'm here to fight you guys!" Malispite declared, especially to his rival Darkrai.
"Oh Come on! Can't I kick your ass later!?" the dark type asked angrily.
"No! And besides, I'M going to win!" Malispite got into a fighting stance.
"Why the hell do you want to fight me anyways!?"
"Because: every series needs an antagonist, and Cataclyptic was too lazy to make one up, so he stole one from Gomez24! And besides, I LIKE calling you names! Mostly 'Cause its true, you skirt wearing goth!!" Malispite laughed. Darkrai narrowed his eyes at the insult.
"Malispite, you're the third to die."
"Number two is Cresselia, number one is Mew."
"Hey Darkrai, is Malispite yellow?" asked said younger brother.
"No. He is brown."
"…" Darkrai ignored Mew's comment and turned back to his mortal enemy since first grade.
"Anyways, you cannot win!" Cresselia smiled in victory "There's three of us and only one of you!" the brown bat Pokemon stepped backward. He just realized that he was clearly outnumbered three to one.
"Yeah! I'm going to beat you!" Mew said, determined. He held up one finger, and it began shining with an odd power.
'Oh crap he's using Metronome!' Malispite thought, preparing to defend himself, 'Any random attack could hit me!'
Mew instead, blew up and detonated an Explosion that, ironically, hit everything but the malice Pokemon. Darkrai, Cresselia and Mew collapsed on the ground, bruises everywhere, injuries abound and in excruciating pain. Malispite was stunned. He quickly got over it and declared
"HAH! I WIN!" Darkrai looked at his younger brother with pure rage.
"I am going to kill you…" but before he could do said action, Malispite went over and smirked in victory at Darkrai, gloating.
"Let it be known that on today, I, Malispite, have stupendously defeated Darkrai and that he lost horribly!" he declared proudly.
"What the hell was that for!?" Darkrai questioned.
"To humiliate you!" the seven foot tall bat sneered. Darkrai struggled to move and kill the brown bat, but he was too drained from Explosion.
"Cresselia? Darkrai?" a new voice spoke. Malispite began to break out in cold sweat. He knew that voice, that deep dark tone. He just hoped that it wasn't-
"CHUCK NORRIS!?" Mew exclaimed.
"IT'S MEWTWO YOU IDIOT!" the prince of darkness yelled angrily. Malispite turned around and saw a all purplish cat like creature, the legendary Pokemon Mewtwo. That was good; For a second there, he thought it really WAS Chuck Norris.
"Hello… Malispite…" the psycat grinned, "So are you here to fight?"
"Yep! I'll take you on too!" Malispite pointed, confident he could gain another win.
"Good. I need someone to be my research subject..." Mewtwo began smiling insanely as he fantasized. The brown bat paused, confused.
"Uh… Are you okay?" he asked. Instead of answering, Mewtwo pulled out a syringe with a rather large needle on it, causing visible beads of sweat to develop around Malispite's face. Mewtwo held it up to his face, a strange glowing blue liquid visible inside it.
"Would you like an extra toe, or an extra ear?" Mewtwo grinned psychotically, slowly levitating towards the fearful Malispite.
"Uh… Uh…" the malice Pokemon stepped back in fear, cold sweat dripping down his face as the psychotic psychic got closer and closer "I-I'll see you guys later!" he said before flying off in fear. Mewtwo stared at this new development.
"Darn…" he went over to the trio and helped Darkrai and Cresselia up, both which were very hesitant to let the insane psychic help them. Mewtwo paused at Mew.
"…Can I at least experiment on him?" he asked.
"Be my guest." Darkrai said immediately.
"NO YOU CANNOT EXPERIMENT ON HIM!" the lunar swan pulled back Mew before Mewtwo could stab the pink cat with his syringe.
"Tch…" said an annoyed psychopath.
"What are you doing here anyway?" Darkrai asked his friend. Mewtwo shrugged,
"Ah, you know. Turing people into newts with genetic manipulation."
Everyone stepped back in fear.
"Anyway! We must continue our original mission to find a hamburger." Cresselia reminded them of the reason the descended to earth in the first place. They had to get a burger to prevent the end of the world.
"To the nearest McDonalds restaurant!" Darkrai pointed to the sky, "Mewtwo, you can join if you want." Darkrai, Cresselia and Mew headed downwards to a city. Mewtwo watched them and contemplated the possibilities.
'In a restaurant… there are people and Pokemon…' he grinned, 'I wonder what I can do there…?' Mewtwo ran levitated off to meet up with the trio, a murderous look on his face.
THE NEAREST MCDONALDS RESTAURANT
Darkrai, Cresselia and Mew went through the doors. They immediately got in line, and waited for their turn. Fortunately, the line was not very long, and they would be at the cashiers station any second now.
"Okay! Time to order!" Cresselia said, determined. All three then realized that they were getting excess stares from everybody in the restaurant. A restaurant that happened to be all people for some reason…
"IT'S DARKRAI! CATCH HIM!!" a random trainer yelled. The prince of darkness, as well as the other three legendary's were soon swarmed by hundreds of Pokemon being called out from their balls. Soon, it was an all out battle because every trainer in the restaurant was trying to capture the legendary trio. It was obvious to them that they were losing, both in battle and time.
"Stand back you two!" Darkrai said to his sister and Mew. He charged up a dark sphere in his hands, filled with darkness energy and held it upward, launching his signature Move.
"Dark Void!" shouted Darkrai. Thousands of tiny spheres shot from the original sphere and hit every single trainer and Pokemon in the entire restaurant. Every trainer trying to capture them was instantly out to sleep and even had nightmares to boot. The deed done, Darkrai smirked with victory. The three proceeded to the front of the line.
"We would like to order a hamburger without onions." Cresselia said to the cashier. Unfortunately for her…
The cashier was caught up in a nightmare.
"…DARKRAI YOU IDIOT! YOU MADE THE PEOPLE WORKING HERE FALL ASLEEP TOO!!" the pink swan screamed in rage.
"OH, LIKE YOU DON'T EVER MESS UP!!" retorted Darkrai.
"For the record, I don't. I'm one week more perfect than you." his sister replied calmly. The prince of darkness clutched his head in anger as Cresselia spoke again.
"We must head to another restaurant!" Cresselia and Mew began to exit the building. Darkrai however, went up to Mewtwo, an angry look on his face.
"Mewtwo…" he whispered, "I have an assassination job for you…"
"Maybe later Darkrai, I just ran out of lethal poison." Mewtwo replied sadly. The teenage legendary in training stared in fear at Mewtwo as he realized that most of the people in the building were almost dead. Mewtwo followed Cresselia with Darkrai following hesitantly behind.
At the next restaurant, Darkrai, Cresselia, and Mew had to fight off more people. About 35 people battled them, 17 people tried to catch them, and one succeeded in catching Mew. Cresselia made Darkrai release the Pokeball. In due time, they were once again in line to fulfill their mission of ordering a hamburger to prevent the world from ending.
"Wait a minute… Where's Mewtwo?" Cresselia asked her brother, realizing he was not with them anymore.
"Oh. He's in the bathroom. experimenting with the sink." replied the prince of darkness.
"Ah, okay." the lunar swan turned back in line, but then whipped around frantically to face Darkrai.
"You said experimenting." she said fearfully, knowing full well the extent of Mew two's 'experiments'.
"Uh… yeah…" Darkrai said, equally scared that Mewtwo was doing who knows what in the bathroom.
"Do you know with what?"
"He said something about explosive chemicals." Darkrai replied. They then noticed a random pedestrian walking to the men's bathroom. Darkrai and Cresselia looked at each other, frowns upon their faces.
"I'll stop him, you order." said Cresselia.
"I have a better idea," her brother held up his finger "let's let Mew stop Mewtwo."
"Darkrai! Mewtwo is one of the most powerful legendary's and a class Four; how the hell will Mew be able to stop him!?"
"That's the point." Darkrai grinned evilly, fantasizing his annoying brother's death. Cresselia glared at him fro being irresponsible.
"No. I will calm Mewtwo down, you order." she stated firmly. Before Darkrai could object, Cresselia zoomed off, leaving the prince of darkness alone with the pink furball.
"Tch." Darkrai said, annoyed.
"Darkrai!" Mew zoomed up to him, "I discovered that cheese is brown!"
Darkrai: "…Keep trying Mew."
"Next." a voice said in front of them. Darkrai and Mew floated up to the cashier, finally able to order the hamburger with no onions.
"Welcome to Burger King, may I take your order?" a slightly deep voice said monotonously, as if he said said those words a hundred times before.
"Thank you! I would like a ham-"
Darkrai paused. There was something familiar about this particular cashier. The dark type looked closer, and the cashier had brown fur. And long ears. And wings growing out of his back. And three tails.
In fact, this particular cashier bared a striking resemblance to-
"MALISPITE?!" Darkrai blurted out in surprise.
"Yep. It's me. Now please order so that I can get on with my life." the brown bat grumbled. Darkrai just stood there, mouth agape. A few seconds passed before
"BWAHAHAHHAHA!! YOU WORK AT BURGER KING!!"
"IT'S NOT FUNNY!!" Malispite roared back in anger and embarrassment. But Darkrai kept laughing, finding this whole ordeal amusing.
"ARE YOU KIDDING? IT'S FREAKING HILARIOUS! BWAHAHAHA!!" Darkrai was now on the floor, laughing his tail off with tears of joy streaming down his face. His rival looked on angrily, veins popping up on his head and steam pouring out his long ears.
Mew suddenly floated up to his face. The pink psycat stared at Malispite, curious. Then, he too began laughing as hard as Darkrai.
"HAH! YOU'RE BLUE!" Mew laughed on the floor.
"THAT MAKES NO SENSE!" Malispite roared in both confusion and rage. After a few more rounds of laughter, the dark typed Pokemon's patience wore off.
"THAT DOES IT!" Malispite screamed furiously, "AS CASHIER, I HEREBY BAN YOU FROM THIS RESTAURANT!!"
"BWAHAHAHA-…Wait… say what?!" panicked Darkrai. Malispite smirked, he now had the advantage.
"You heard me! You are banned from this restaurant, and even if you come back, we will never serve you!" he pointed angrily at the ghost like legendary.
"SAY WHAT!?" Cresselia said in shock. She had just returned with Mewtwo, who had char all over his face and was grinning widely "Darkrai! Apologize this instant!!" she ordered.
"Sorry Cresselia, no can do. It's just too damn hilarious!" Darkrai smiled. Cresselia paused, looking at Malispite in his uniform.
"…You know, it IS slightly humorous…" Cresselia chuckled.
"Funny too!" Mew piped up. Malispite, in his rage, shot them all with a Zap Cannon, and they were ejected from the restaurant from the powerful Move. They landed on the ground, and stood back up.
"Well… thanks a lot Darkrai." Cresselia scolded, dusting herself off.
"Shut up. Can't I enjoy myself?"
"Not if it involves others expense." Cresselia said wisely.
"But that's the best kind of fun there is!" protested Darkrai.
"No it's not; watching people melt from acidity overdose is." Mewtwo added.
Everyone stared at Mewtwo.
"…I am a man of simple pleasures." the insane psychic shrugged.
"…Anyway, we must find another hamburger, before our time runs out!" said Cresselia, worried. Darkrai was more calm than her, and for a good reason.
"Oh please. We have like, ten more hours to find a hamburger without onions." He pointed out, passing it off as no big deal.
"ACTUALLY, THAT'S INCORRECT!" a voice boomed from the sky. Everyone turned to see Arceus' hologram. When God wanted to communicate with people who were far away, she used her creation powers to make holograms.
LEIK OBI-WAN KENOBI.
"I'm afraid I made a mistake;" Arceus said, interrupting the author "remember when I said twelve hours?"
"…Yeah…?" everyone said hesitantly.
"Well… I meant two."
"SAY WHAT?!" the three teenage Pokemon yelled in fear.
"I LIKE SNAX!" exclaimed Mew, misspelling the word. Everyone stared at the pink psychic type.
Darkrai: "…Hey Mewtwo, do you have any more of those explosive chemicals?"
"So anyway… I thought you might want to know how much time you have left…" Arceus said to them. Everyone leaned in closer, "You have… only three hours and fifty five minutes remaining!"
Cresselia: "…How is that even possible?!"
Arceus cocked her head. It DID seem illogical…
"Let do the math again…" Arceus said. She thought for a second, "Ah! Okay, you have twenty five minutes!"
"TWENTY FIVE MINUTES?!"
"Don't worry! If you fail, it's just the world ending!" Arceus said cheerfully.
"…How is that supposed to make us feel better!?" the prince of darkness asked in confusion.
"GOOD LUCK!" And with that, Arceus vanished. The three teenage Pokemon stared at each other, deciding to hurry up and find a hamburger.
With no onions.
And so, with the fate of the planet resting in their hands/claws, Darkrai, Cresselia, Mewtwo and Mew went to a different restaurant. They entered the one that said 'WENDY'S' on the sign. They quickly went in it, and shoved themselves to the front of the line.
"Sorry, emergency here!" Darkrai said as he pushed aside people, his touch giving some of them nightmares.
"HEY! IT'S DARKRAI!"
"Oh fric not again…" mumbled the prince of darkness.
"GET HIM!!!" immediately, Darkrai was once again swarmed by hundreds of Pokemon and their trainers, each wanting to capture him. His sister beamed, seeing opportunity.
"Good thinking Darkrai! While you distract the trainers, the line will be empty!" Cresselia smiled evilly.
"SCREW…YOU…!!!" the legendary in training managed to blurt out from under the dog pile of people and Pokemon. Cresselia paid no attention to her brother's pain, and she, Mew and Mewtwo went up to the front.
"One Hamburger! Without onions!" she said, "And quickly, lest the world end!"
"…Wait a minute…" the guy at the cash register said, "You're Cresselia!" said the cashier, a Rhyhorn.
"Yes." Cresselia smiled. She liked it when someone recognized her.
"I'm sorry ma'am, but we can't serve you." sighed the Rhyhorn sadly.
"What?! Why not!?" the lunar swan was confused.
"Folks over at Burger King called a sell-ban act. Every restaurant that sells hamburgers is obliged to it, and so you cannot be served." the ground type explained the rules of hamburger joints to the customer.
"WHAT!? DAMN YOU DARKRAI!" Cresselia shouted in anger.
"SCREW...YOU…!" Darkrai shouted back, still trying to escape from the mound of trainers trying to catch him.
"I know how to get a hamburger…" Mewtwo suddenly smiled.
"Oh? How?" Cresselia was intrigued, wanting to take any available option at this point. Mewtwo smiled and pulled out his genetic splicing equipment.
"First, we get a cow…"
"WE ARE NOT GOING TO GENETICALLY ALTER THINGS!" Cresselia practically screamed. Mewtwo put his equipment back to wherever it came from, and began muttering to himself about how unfair it was that he couldn't splice.
"Great, now what are we going to do!?" the lunar swan said frantically, floating in circles. They were running out of options, and running out of time. They had maybe fifteen minutes until the world ended via a super massive black hole created by God' hungry stomach!
"KILL MEW!" Darkrai randomly screamed from the confines of the dog pile.
"NO!" his sister barked. "Mewtwo, any ideas!?" Mewtwo paused. Then, he grinned.
"…That DON'T involve dangerous experiments!" added the lunar swan.
"…I've got nothing then…" Mewtwo said disdainfully.
"Mew, what about you!?" Cresselia turned to the pink legendary in desperation. She heard a munching sound. The pink psycat had just finished eating something.
"…What did you just eat?"
"A hamburger! A nice lady just gave it to me!"
Everyone instantly widened their eyes.
"…It sure was tasty!" Mew said, oblivious to their stares.
Cresselia: "YOU… JUST…"
Mewtwo: "ATE… A…"
"HAMBURGER!?!?" Darkrai finished. Darkrai became so angry, that he burst out of the mound of over two hundred people and Pokemon in sheer blind rage.
"Mewtwo, kill Mew!" screamed Darkrai in frustration.
"No!" Cresselia stepped in between the two.
"HE ATE THE HAMBURGER!!" protested Darkrai angrily.
"…Mewtwo, kill Mew." Cresselia agreed. The purple psycat grinned and flipped open his a knife and some test tubes. Just as Mewtwo was about to kill the pink five year old with who knows what, Arceus' hologram popped up.
"Oh by the way, no killing Mew!" she said. The hologram vanished. Everyone rubbed their temples.
"Mewtwo, how much time?!" Cresselia asked. Mewtwo was crazy good at math and science, being that he experimented on practically everything.
"Ten minutes." Mewtwo said after some minor calculations. Ten minutes to save the world.
"Great… How on earth are we supposed to get a hamburger with no onions in less than ten minutes!?" the lunar swan said in exasperation.
"We have one shot." everyone turned to Darkrai "I have a plan, but whoever is the designated target could get killed..." the dark type said ominously. Everyone looked at Mew, who wasn't paying attention at all.
"…Right then, Mew is the designated target." decided Darkrai, with no complaints from the other two. He leaned in closer for the Mewtwo and Creselia to listen carefully.
"Here's the plan…"
"Next." Malispite said for the umpteenth time that day. A figure in a dark trench coat came up next. He was very tall, and Malispite had to look up to see him. Malispite was about to ask his order, but paused, sensing something suspicious.
"…Waaaaiiiit a minute…" the brown bat looked closely at the face of the figure. It was black colored, with white hair, blue eyes and-
"Darkrai." Malispite deduced. He easilypulled off the trench coat, and sure enough, it was the dark type.
"Uh… I'm not Darkrai! I'm his uh… cousin!" Darkrai said desperately. Malispite smiled and sighed.
"For shame, my mortal nemesis. I would have thought that you would have better plan than this." he said cruelly. Darkrai was undaunted, and instead grinned in response.
MEW! NOW!" Darkrai yelled, ducking behind a condiment stand. Mew surprisingly popped down from the ceiling.
"What the-?" Malispite blurted out, wondering what was going on. Mew's finger glowed.
"Metronome!" he yelled. Instantly, the pink cat like Pokemon Exploded, incinerating anything within a two hundred foot radius to dust.
Except Malispite. He used Protect at the last second and was unharmed. The wall of light vanished, and the brown bat gleamed proudly, unhurt.
"Hah!" he laughed.
"Mew! Do it again!" the prince of darkness yelled behind the condiment stand that was somehow still intact. Mew's finger glowed, and Malispite shielded himself once more.
Mew Exploded a second time, but once again, Malispite was unharmed due to Protect.
"That attack won't work on me!" Malispite shouted, "Give up now!"
"I don't feel so good…" the five year old said, bruises everywhere on his body.
"That means my plan is working! Do it again!" Mew tiredly held up his finger, and another blast shook the restaurant, but still had no effect on Malispite's Protect shield. When the dust cleared, Mew was on the floor, moaning. Darkrai, unharmed because the explosion never reached him cuz he wuz behind the condiment stand.
"I salute you, fallen soldier." Darkrai bowed to his little brother out of respect. Then, he glared at Malispite, "We will get that hamburger from you, you Gary Stu!"
"Hah! You will never get past my defenses!" the brown bat declared boldly. Malispite expected Darkrai to glare at him more, but instead, he smiled.
"Oh really?" the legendary in training said smugly, knowing something Malispite did not.
"I GOT IT!!" All of a sudden, a feminine voice screamed from behind the counter. Cresselia zoomed past Malispite, and did not stop, lfying as fast as possible out of the restaurant.
"WAIT- WTF?!" Malispite said, so baffled that he used txt speech.
"Heh… My plan was that I would stall you by having Mew explode himself several times while Cresselia snuck up behind you and snagged the burger!" Malispite's rival crossed his arms in victory, "This way, we get the burger, AND as bonus, Mew gets hurt!"
"Yep!" Mew said excitably, no visible injuries on his body. Darkrai and Malispite stared in confusion.
"Weren't you lying on the floor in pain three seconds ago!?" the tall bat asked.
"I used Recover!" said Mew happily..
"Damnit…" Darkrai cursed, his bonus gone "Ah well! So long loser!" Darkrai and Mew ran out of the restaurant in a hurry.
"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Malispite said furiously. Determined not to be outdone by his rival, he opened up his big black wings and zoomed after them. Because he was good at flying, Malispite caught up to them in no time at all.
"PURSUIT!" Malispite said, preparing to ram himself into Darkrai.
"Substitute!" Darkrai countered. He grabbed his five year old brother, and used him as a shield to block himself from Malispite's attack. The brown bat head butted Mew with darkness energy, and he was sent flying. Darkrai was unharmed.
"Ha!" Darkrai smirked, still running floating away.
"That's not how you use Substitute!" Malispite pointed out.
"Yeah, but MY way causes Mew more pain!" Darkrai replied logically. He stopped, "You won't get to Cresselia! Dark Void!" Darkrai charged up his dark energy into a ball and projected dozens of darkness projectiles at the brown bat. Malispite used Protect, and was unharmed by Darkrai's attack.
"Zap Cannon!" Malispite aimed a concentrated ball of electrical force at Darkrai's vicinity. However the prince of darkness used Double Team, and it missed, hitting one of his clones instead. Darkrai's clones then fazed out, not leaving a single Darkrai there.
Malispite: "…HE RAN AWAY!!"
Darkrai raced into the pink portal to the Hall of Origin just as it closed. He met up with his sister, Mewtwo and Mew. They were with his mother.
"The hamburger…?" he asked, out of breath, hoping they delivered it in time.
"We delivered it to Arceus." Mewtwo pointed to God, happily eating the hamburger. Suddenly, Arceus' eyes shot open with shock.
"THIS HAMBURGER HAS ONIONS ON IT!"
"DEAL WITH IT!" everyone yelled angrily, "YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT WE HAD TO DO TO GET IT!" Reluctantly, Arceus consumed the rest of the Hamburger, which seemed to satisfy her belly
"Well… Good job!" the white equine congratulated, "Now that I've had my Hamburger, the world won't end!" she said cheerfully. Then, in a more serious tone, she added "FOR NOW."
Everyone shuddered because the same thing would happen next year.
"By the way, Darkrai, you're grounded."
"WHAT!? But why!?" he asked.
"Because Celebi teleported me to the past, and it was YOU who rammed me instead of Palkia! You're punishment for both hitting me and lying to me shall be severe…"
"NO! PLEASE DON'T DESTROY MY BODY AND SCATTER THE REMAINS ACROSS THE INFINITE UNIVERSE!!!" Darkrai pleaded desperately to his all powerful mother.
"I'm going to do something FAR worse…" Arceus said coldly.
Arceus: "No videogames for a week."
MEANWHILE WITH THE PLOT…
"…so this is Destiny."
"The ultimate treasure…
It will be mine…"
-Legendary PKMN Arc One: "Legend"-