Chapter two: Election Day (E-Day)
“Hey Palkia.” the giant purple and white legend turned to Darkrai, sitting next to him, apparently in deep thought. “I just thought of something.” he added.
“If Arceus is white colored, and I’m black colored, and she hates me…” Darkrai began. “Does that make her racist?”
“Ugh…” Palkia sighed.
“Hey, I just thought of something else.” Darkrai said, “If Malispite is black, and HE hates me, does that mean he’s racist against his own kind?”
Suddenly, Arceus teleported into the room.
“It’s time for school!” She announced. “That means you Darkrai!” at the mention of his name, Darkrai stood up defiantly.
“No! I will not let you boss me around because of my skin color!” Darkrai yelled proudly. Arceus sweat dropped.
“I’m not bossing you around because of your skin color, I’m bossing you around CUZ I’M YOR MOM.” Arceus rolled her eyes.
“NO!” Darkrai said defiantly.
“JUDGEMENT!!” Arceus yelled. Instantly, a gigantic shot of light from the sky hit Darkrai and created a giant crater in its wake. Darkrai shook from pain as he tried to get up.
“Ouh…” he said painfully, bruises everywhere on his body. Arceus healed him using Recover.
“Now! Go to school, or else!” she said menacingly, yellow light gathering around her body.
Darkrai zoomed around the corner and leapt through the portal to Earth.
10,000 feet below the Hall of Origin, Darkrai’s school bell rang. That meant that he had twenty minutes to get to class, or else he would be late. He flew through the schools doors, and saw many other Pokémon, not being unusual because it was an all Pokémon school.
Darkrai looked around, and sure enough he saw Gardevoir, one of his friends. She was wearing a white dress that came down to her feet today, same as always.
“Hey Gardevoir.” Darkrai greeted. Gardevoir turned around.
“Oh! Hello Darkrai!” she said cheerfully. “Hey, you know what day it is, right?” she asked.
“Uh… no? What day is it?”
“Oh no.” Darkrai narrowed his eyes. A split second later, and a flash of white and green, Darkrai was kicked in the face where he crashed into some lockers.
“No one touches my fair maiden!” the voice said again. Darkrai looked up and saw Gallade, in a fighting stance in front of Gardevoir, his ‘fair maiden’.
“Um, Gallade, we were just…” Gardevoir tried to explain.
“No need to explain! I already know that this fiend was trying to do horrible things to you! But fear not as I shall stop him!”
You see, Gallade had two quirks about him. Number one: He is in love with Gardevoir. This is not so bad, but the second one is that he thinks that Darkrai is always trying to seduce her and do horrible things to her every time they talk. As a result, Gallade has this need to fight Darkrai every time such an action occurs.
“For the record, we aren’t in love!” Darkrai yelled. “And for another, if you kick me again I will shove a Dark Void RIGHT UP YOR-
“Don’t finish that.” a new voice said. Darkrai turned to see Cresselia and Mewtwo. Cresselia, like him, was a junior and went to this school, but Mewtwo was a senior, so Darkrai didn’t have much classes with him.
“Oh great. Just what I need.” Darkrai said sarcastically. “Can’t you go somewhere else!?” He said to Cresselia.
“Why is that, LITTLE BROTHER? Afraid I’ll embarrass you?” she mocked.
“Now, now you two… stop fighting.” Mewtwo got in between the hatred stares emitted from the siblings.
“Yeah! I’ve got something to say!” a voice rang out. Everyone stopped talking.
“Where are you?” Mewtwo asked, looking around the room for the unknown voice.
“Trashcan!” the voice said. They all turned to a plain silver trashcan, and Gliscor popped out, but only his head, the rest of his body was hidden from view.
“Hey you guys! I’ve figured out a way to get rich quick!!!” Gliscor said happily, eyes aglow with a plan. Gliscor was always trying to find ways to strike it rich, and scheming about things in general.
None of them have worked so far.
“Does it involve GENE SPLICING?” Mewtwo said excitably.
“…No.” Gliscor said. Mewtwo cursed in his mumbling as Gliscor cleared his throat.
“Look at what I’ve invented!” Gliscor said happily. He held up a bucket of what appeared to be a white substance.
“…What is it?” Darkrai asked eagerly, he too, wanting to get rich fast.
“It’s a substance that can cause things to stick together! I shall call it- Sticky Substance that Sticks Things together!” Gliscor said proudly.
“…Didn’t they already invent that and call it glue?” Gardevoir pointed out.
Gliscor: “…YOR RIGHT! SOMEONE COPIED ME DARNIT!!” The bat-like Pokémon cursed out loud. Gardevoir sweat dropped.
“…It’s okay, you’ll think of something eventually.” Mewtwo encouraged.
“BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD!” and with that, Gliscor disappeared into his trashcan…
“I’ve found you.” everyone turned around to see none other than Malispite. The brown bat was followed by a shorter, white feminine bat who was Mercifond, Malispite’s twin sister.
“Hi Mercifond!” Gardevoir greeted.
“His Gardevoir!” Mercifond replied. Malispite and Darkrai walked slowly to each other, until they were eye to eye, glaring at each other with everyone else watching to see what would unfold. They became lit on fire, and everyone was expecting some sort of unnecessary conflict to develop. Cresselia rolled her eyes and went away out of boredom of being around Darkrai’s friends. And enemies.
“I will defeat you!” Malispite smirked.
“You wish!” Darkrai glared back.
“WHAT?” the two glared at each other as electricity shot from their eyes to the other. A conflict would burst out at any moment. But before that could happen, Mewtwo parted the two with his psychic powers.
“That’s enough.” the legendary psychic rolled his eyes. Reluctantly, the two stopped being so angry.
“I’ll do it later.” Darkrai said to his enemy.
“If you mean lose, then yes, you will.” Malispite replied smugly.
A bell went off, signaling announcements and temporarily ended the Darkrai/Malispite feud.
“Attention everyone,” it was their principal, Principal Torkoal. Rumor has it that he is over 2000 years old. “this is just a reminder to let everyone know that Election Day is tomorrow! So if you want to be the student body’s president, then you’d better start campaigning!” the speaker flickered out.
“Oh yeah! That’s what I meant to tell you earlier, Darkrai!” Gardevoir remembered. Darkrai thought for a second.
“I had a thought!” Gliscor burst out of a trashcan next to Darkrai. “We can use this election to our advantage!”
“…How so?” Darkrai asked his purple friend. Gliscor grinned.
“Well, you can use this as an advantage to impress Lopunny!” Gliscor pointed to Darkrai. Darkrai had this crush on a girl named Lopunny. To him, she was the most beautiful creature to ever exist.
Unfortunately, she was (dare I say it…?) POPULAR.
WHICH MEANS NO DATING UNPOPULAR POKEMON.
AND DARKRAI IS NOT POPULAR.
THEREFORE SHE HAS NO CLUE THAT DARKRAI EXISTS.
Don’t you just hate High School Logic?
“If you were to become president, then she would have to go out with you!” Gliscor said logically. Darkrai grinned. He liked the sound of that.
“And…as your vice president, I will get famous! And rich! And powerful!” Gliscor said, pointing to himself with his huge claws.
“Okay! You help me be president (so Lopunny will like me) and I will make you my Vice!” Darkrai grinned.
“It’s a deal!” Gliscor said. Then, he narrowed his eyes “We have only ONE obstacle standing in our way…”
“What’s that?” Darkrai asked. And then he saw it. Strutting down the hall in a fancy blue suit, surrounding by adoring fans from every side, cheering his name in glory.
“Pikachu.” Darkrai said bitterly. Pikachu was the most popular Pokémon in school. Not only that, but he was ALSO the one who was favored to win the election. Not for his leadership skills, but because he was popular. Which meant that HE had the greatest chance of going out with Lopunny.
Stupid High School Logic.
“Seriously!” Darkrai exasperated, “Satoshi Tajiri creates a multi-billion dollar franchise that’s famous all over the world- and he based it off a yellow rat!!” He waved his arms in the air. “He should’ve based it off ME…”
“You have another obstacle to face!” Malispite suddenly exclaimed to Darkrai and Gliscor.
“What’s that!?” Gliscor asked, confused. He thought that he had it all figured out.
“ME!!” Malispite said, unfolding his wings to look bigger and more important, and pointing to himself “I’m entering the election too!”
“WHY!?” said Darkrai in an outburst.
“Because then I can beat you at something!” Malispite grinned.
“Oh, I get it…” Darkrai said, walking up to Malispite with the brown bat doing the same. “A contest…”
“And the winner shall be forever known as the superior of the two…” Malispite smirked with confidence. The gazed at each other, lighting once more flaring from their eyes.
“I SHALL WIN!!!” They both yelled loudly. Suddenly, the bell rang, and Pokémon everywhere began to scurry to their classes. Watching everyone go, Malispite and Darkrai looked at each other and added
“RIGHT AFTER FIRST PERIOD!”
“Alright, what should we do first?” Gliscor asked, now out of his trashcan. Darkrai thought a second.
“I don’t know… let me try something…” Darkrai said to his bluish purple colleague. He concentrated. “Nasty Plot!” he said dramatically. The use of this move stimulated Darkrai’s evil gland, and he came up with an idea.
“I’ve got it!” Darkrai grinned, “Look at those posters!” hei pointed. Gliscor looked. He saw a poster with Pikachu on it, with a caption reading ‘Vote for Pikachu- He’s popular!’. Gliscor turned back to Darkrai.
“So?” he asked.
“Here’s the plan…” Darkrai said quietly. He reached into his big red collar and pulled out a couple of black markers. He handed one to Gliscor. “We are going to put the word ‘DON’T’ right in front of the ‘vote for Pikachu poster’!” he said.
“Oh! Good plan.” Gliscor high fived the ghost- like legendary.
“Hey, you two!” a voice said. They both turned around to face Gardevoir and Gallade. “We would like to join you.” Gallade smiled.
“Really? Why’s that?” Darkrai asked the two psychics.
“Because- we both don’t want Pikachu to win.” Gardevoir said.
“Plus, we heard that there’s a free barbeque!” Gallade piped up.
“Wait wha-?” Darkrai said, “I never said anything about a barbe-
Darkrai paused. He turned to Gliscor.
“…Uh, yeah, I figured we’d need more help so I posted a help wanted sign saying that you would host a free barbeque to whoever joined you…”
“YOU MEAN IT WAS ALL A LIE!?” Gallade gasped. The swords on his elbows extended, prepared to strike the treacherous bat Pokémon.
“Hold it!” Darkrai said, getting in the way of Gallade. “Okay, you two can join. And Gallade, if I win then we’ll have a free barbeque.” the legendary Pokémon explained.
“YES!” Gallade said out loud. “So what’s the plan?”
“We are going to print the word ‘DON’T’ on everyone of these posters, right before the ‘Vote for Pikachu’!” Darkrai grinned evilly.
“And… That will do what exactly?” Gardevoir asked.
“Simple logic Gardevoir.” Darkrai closed his eyes. “If we do it, then when people see the posters, they will read ‘DON’T vote for Pikachu!’. Having read it, they will decide NOT to vote for that stupid rodent, and thus giving me a chance to win!” he said logically.
Gardevoir sweat dropped.
“Brilliant!” Gallade commented.
“Darkrai, I don’t think that will do-
But all three men were already printing the words on every poster they could find. Gardevoir sweat dropped at being ignored so easily. She looked around, slightly nervous.
“Um, should we really be doing this? Isn’t this illegal in the contest?” Gardevoir pointed out.
“Hah! What could possibly happen?” Darkrai scoffed as he printed another ‘DON’T’ on a Pikachu poster. As Darkrai was printing the last letter, he was suddenly bumped, which caused him to mess up. Darkrai was about to yell ‘Watch it!’, when he turned around to see who bumped him in the first place.
“Malispite, what’re YOU doing here?” Darkrai questioned, pointing at the giant brown bat. Malispite held up a black marker...
“Me and Mercifond are paining moustaches n the Pikachu poster to make him look dumb so no one will vote for him.” Malispite said logically.
“That will never work!” Darkrai said.
“WILL TOO! IT’S BETTER THAN YOUR CRAPPY PLAN!”
“WHAT ABOUT MY PLAN!?” Darkrai replied angrily. Malispite and Darkrai went up in each other’s faces again.
“They’re fighting over THAT?” Gallade asked.
“They fight over anything and everything.” Gliscor rolled his eyes. Malispite and Darkrai quickly leapt back and then simultaneously charged at each other.
“Dark Pulse!!” Darkrai yelled.
“Thunderpunch!!” Malispite cried. And then, a shadowed figure stepped in between just as their attacks were about to collide.
“AURA SPHERE!!” and, in a major explosion, two spheres of energy were hurled at both combatants, sending both of them flying backwards.
“Uh oh.” Gallade said. “It’s Lucario.”
Lucario stood in the smoke, unfazed at their actions. He was the head of the student police. And by head we mean the only member. But HE likes to think of himself as head. It was his specific duty to punish all those who broke the law of the school.
“Great…” Darkrai said. “Not only do I have to deal with Malispite, but now THIS guy too!!” He said angrily.
“All of you broke the rules!” Lucario said angrily. “Prepare to face my wrath!”
“RUN!” Gliscor said frantically. He leapt up, did a front flip, and dove into a nearby trashcan.
“…” everyone said.
“Why…?” Gardevoir asked.
“Rumor has it that Gliscor has secretly built a series of underground tunnels under the school, connected by all of the trashcans.” Darkrai said, suddenly appearing next to the female psychic.
“Really?” Gardevoir asked Darkrai.
“No one knows…” Darkrai replied mysteriously.
“Anyway, time to send you all to detention!” Lucario spoke out. He charged Aura and threw it at the group, just barely missing them.
“RUUUUNNNNN!!!” Everyone yelled at the blue jackal chased them around the school.
LATER AFTER SCHOOL…
Darkrai and Co. managed to escape the wrath of the blue jackal by using a Substitute move with Mew as the substitute. Lucario however, was still roaming the school in search of them…
Meanwhile, Darkrai, Malispite, and Pikachu were gathered behind a red curtain. It was finally time to give their presidential speeches. Darkrai sat in a dark corner, eyes close, while Pikachu was being adored by his hundreds of fans. Malispite paced about, as if waiting for something. Suddenly, Mercifond came running onto the stage with a piece of paper in her hands.
“Brother… here!” she gasped, tired from running. “Your speech!” Malispite took the paper from his sister’s hands and skimmed it over. The brown bat smiled.
“Excellent. You’ve prepared a good speech for me.” he complimented. “YA HEAR THAT DARKRAI!! YOU CAN’T POSSIBLY WIN NOW!!”
“SCREW YOU!” Darkrai yelled back. Gliscor then randomly popped out of a trashcan next to the ghost like legendary.
“Uh, Darkrai, don’t you think it would be a good idea to memorize the speech?” he pointed out.
“You don’t get it Gliscor…” Darkrai said mysteriously. “THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT THEY’RE EXPECTING.”
“…you lost the speech Gardevoir gave you, didn’t you?”
“NO! IT’S CAUSE I DON’T NEED ONE!” Darkrai spat back. He glared angrily at the ceiling, and Gliscor sighed in defeat. Suddenly, Principal Torkoal walked up to them.
“All of you!” he said, “Get into your respective booths! It’s time!” Darkrai and Malispite glared at each other before going onto the stage. Pikachu waved to his fans before going with them. All of the stands were in a straight line, facing the large audience of the school. Malispite was stationed at stand one, so he would be the first to give his speech. Darkrai was on stand number two, right next to Malispite and Pikachu, who was in stand three. And then, a figure went into the fourth stand.
“Huh?” Darkrai said. The figure was none other than Mewtwo. “You’re in this election too?” Darkrai asked the psychotic psychic.
“Long story short- I got bored.” Mewtwo shrugged. Darkrai sweat dropped. Torkoal, who was standing in front of them, adjusted the microphone and spoke.
“All of you! Quiet down!” he yelled above the noisy audience. The audience didn’t quiet down. “Quiet down!!” Torkoal yelled again. The Pokémon still were too loud.
“ALL OF YOU QUIET DOWN RIGHT THIS MOMENT OR SO HELP ME I WILL CANCEL TACO TUSEDAYS!!!”
Everyone immediately shut up.
“…Do you seriously think he would do that?” Darkrai whispered to Malispite, scared.
“I sure hope not…” Malispite whispered back, equally scared.
“It is time for the presidential debate!” their ancient principal announced “Each contestant will give their speech, and then you all can go vote!” everyone began cheering. Many of the Pokémon showed posters of who they wanted to win, nearly all of them consisting of Pikachu.
“…Hey! I see one with you on it!” Malispite said to Darkrai, pointing his finger at the audience.
“Really? Where!?” Darkrai squinted his eyes and he saw one with his image on it. The text below it read
‘DARKRAI- GO JUMP IN A HOLE AND DIE ALREADY.’
Darkrai narrowed his eyes.
“You made that one, didn’t you?” Darkrai said bitterly.
“Chalk one up for Malispite.” the brown bat smirked. Principal Torkoal cleared his throat.
“The first candidate is… Malispite!” Malispite smiled and stepped up to the mike. Principal Torkoal stepped down. Malispite looked his speech, and cleared his throat.
“My fellow classmates-
“Yawn.” Darkrai interrupted. “Two seconds into the speech and I can already tell this is going to be boring.”
“SHUT UP DARKRAI!! IT IS NOT!!” Malispite said angrily.
“Darkrai, please don’t interrupt other contestants.” Torkoal warned.
“Fine…” Darkrai sat back down in his chair. Malispite cleared his throat again.
“My fellow classmates…I am going to prove to you all that I am the right person to choose! These other three contestants are all worthy of your vote… except Darkrai!”
“However, I am the best one because I believe in unity! I believe that we can all work together to make this school a better place! I care about what happens to every single one of you, and I promise that if you vote for me, I will-“
“…Wait a minute…” the brown bat squinted his eyes at the audience. “…EVERYONE IS ASLEEP!!” Malispite gasped. Every single member in the audience was asleep. Malispite turned around, and Darkrai, Pikachu and Mewtwo were asleep as well.
“…WAKE UP!” everyone drowsily began to wake up.
“Wha…?” Darkrai said, half conscious. He yawned, and was wide awake. “What happened?” Darkrai asked, “Did I win yet?”
“YOU WILL NEVER WIN! AND YOU FELL ASLEEP JUST NOW!” Malispite said angrily.
“Oh yeah… your speech…” Darkrai remembered “Hey listen, can I borrow that thing when need to calm Mew down?” Darkrai pointed to the piece of paper. Malispite’s mouth was wide open. He failed miserably.
“Uh… Next!” principal Torkoal said. Darkrai stood up, and as he walked past Malispite he said
“Watch and learn.” Malispite glared, and reluctantly sat down in his stand. Darkrai went up to the stage and adjusted the microphone. He cleared his throat, and then proceeded to look into the eyes of everybody in the audience. When he was done, he spoke.
“MALISPITE SLEPT WITH A TEDDY BEAR EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!”
“THAT WAS WHEN I WAS FIVE!!” Malispite yelled angrily.
“HE CALLED IT MISTER FOOFOO!!” Darkrai yelled into the mike for all to here. “DO YOU WANT A PRESIDENT WHO SLEEPS WITH TEDDY BEARS!?”
“COMING FROM THE GUY WHO LOST HIS PRESIDENTAIL SPEECH!!” Malispite said, getting really, really mad.
“I DIDN’T LOSE IT!! I, just uh… I JUST DON’T NEED IT OKAY?!” Darkrai countered.
“Times’ up.” Torkoal said, “Pikachu, you’re next.” Darkrai stepped down with a final “MALISPITE SUCKS!!!” as he got off the stage. Pikachu stepped onto the stage. He adjusted the mike. He waved his hand though his imaginary hair, then pointed at the audience coolly.
“Pika Pika.” the audience instantly was in a frenzy. Whoops and cheers erupted from every corner in a loud symphony that echoed across the school grounds.
“HE DIDN’T EVEN SAY ANYTHING!!” Malispite and Darkrai tried yell above the uproar of the audience.
Don’t you just hate High School logic?
“Wow.” Torkoal was surprised “Uh… Mewtwo! You’re the last one.” Pikachu gave one final wave before stepping aside for the psychic. Mewtwo raised the microphone to his height. He spoke.
“Whoever votes for me gets to keep their vital organs.” Mewtwo said calmly. Everyone instantly became quiet and nervously looked around the room.
“That is all.” Mewtwo finished, adding an evil smile at the end. Without Torkoal telling him otherwise, Mewtwo left the stage and sat in his stand next to three wide eyed candidates.
“Uh… That’s…That’s it then! Everybody can vote now.” Torkoal said, pointing to the voting booths.
“I’VE FOUND YOU!!” a voice yelled in rage.
“Oh crap no.” Malispite and Darkrai said in unison. Leaping atop all the Pokémon’s heads and making his way to the two dark types was Lucario.
“YOU WILL PAY FOR BREAKING THE RULES AND RUNNING!” he said angrily. The blue steel type leapt up and charged his Aura.
“Aura Sphere!!” he yelled. He launched the sphere of energy at the two dark types.
“RUUUUUNNNN!!” Malispite flew up into the air, and Darkrai quickly faded into the shadows just before the impact. Lucario landed on the stage. He looked around, but none of them were in sight.
“I WILL FIND YOU!!” he yelled to the heavens. Lucario leapt up and began his search again.
Everyone stared in bewilderment at the scene, and gradually they all rushed to the booths…
THE NEXT DAY
“I cannot believe this.” Darkrai stared. He was once again in school, and he was looking at the picture of the newest president.
It was Mewtwo.
“I CAN’T BELIEVE HE BEAT ME!” Darkrai hit his fist on the photo in rage.
“Didn’t you hear his speech?!” Gliscor said, “It was… (gulp) very motivating…”
“Does this mean no free barbeque?” Gallade asked.
“DANGIT!!” Gallade cursed.
“Um, Darkrai…” Gardevoir spoke up, “If it makes you feel any better… I still voted for you.” she said cheerfully. Darkrai paused at what Gardevoir had just said.
“You shouldn’t have said that.” Darkrai smacked himself.
“YOU VOTED FOR THAT FIEND!?” Gallade said angrily “DARKRAI!! WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BEAUTIFUL MAIDEN!?” he rushed at the dark legendary.
“Damn it.” and, Darkrai became locked in a power struggle with Gallade. As they fought, Malispite and Mercifond flew into the front doors of the school. Malispite was blindfolded.
“Brother, are you sure…?” Mercifond asked.
“Yes. I already know that I’ve won, but read what it says about me.” Malispite says confidently. Mercifond looked up at the poster.
“It says… that Mewtwo won in a landslide.”
“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?!??!!??!!?” Malispite said in rage, so angry that he broke the number of endpoints allowed on a sentence “DARKRAI YOU BASTARD!”
“WHAT THE HELL DID I DO!?” The ghost like legendary screamed, still holding off Gallade. Malispite jumped into the fight and began to punch whoever he came in contact with.
“Greetings.” Cresselia nodded to Gardevoir and Mercifond. She looked around and saw Malispite, Darkrai and Gallade beating the crap out of each other.
“Oh boy.” she sighed. “What’s the reason this time?”
“Because Malispite and Darkrai hate each other, and Gallade thinks that Darkrai hit on me.” Gardevoir replied. Cresselia slapped herself.
“NO FIGHTING IN THE HALLWAY!” Lucario yelled.
“OH CRAP NO!!” Darkrai, Malispite and Gallade began running away from the pursuing blue jackal. The disappeared from the girls view, and were not seen again for the rest of the day.
Darkrai and co. eventually actually escaped from Lucario. Lucario however is persistent, and will keep chasing them until he gets his revenge…
Gliscor tried inventing again. He came up with a stick that has graphite in it, and you can make marks with it by rubbing it on a flat surface.
He was ecstatic until Gardevoir told him that pencils had already been invented.
Gardevoir managed to save Darkrai from getting killed by promising Gallade that she would invite him over to her house to have a free barbeque. It lasted until Darkrai showed up at her door selling Gliscor’s invention.
Cresselia got bored and stayed out of this epilogue.
Mercifond published a book about all the speeches she had ever thought up with, and sold it to many people. It was entitled “101 Nighttime stories.”
Mewtwo eventually got expelled for his presidential duties and had to resign. The reason being he went on an experimenting frenzy and accidentally killed Tuesday, and thus Taco Tuesdays no longer existed.
The moral of the story is this:
Mewtwo > Chuck Norris