Legendary PKMN

Chapter six

Chapter six: Detention of DOOMNESS (Act one: Job Application Test)



The blue jackal was in hot pursuit of Darkrai and Malispite.

“I’LL GET YOU!” he screamed in rage. Malispite and Darkrai were not far up ahead, running for their lives from Lucario. Suddenly, Darkrai came to an abrupt halt, and so did the brown bat. Confused, Lucario stopped a few feet from them.

“We give up.” Darkrai said.

“Yeah, there’s no possible way to win.” Malispite agreed. Lucario was awestruck.

“…okay? Fine, then come with me.”

“And, to show that we apologize, we will give you this jello cup as a token of sorrow.” Darkrai handed Lucario one of Mewtwo’s genetically altered Jello cups. Pleased that they were truly sorry for their actions, Lucario ate the jello cup in one bite.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!

The cup exploded in the jackal’s mouth, defeating Lucario in a OHKO. Darkrai and Malispite slapped each other five, and went back to their friends.

“That was awesome!” Gliscor complimented half of his body hidden in a trashcan, the lid on top of the bat’s head.

“Yep. He’ll never catch me!” Darkrai exclaimed proudly, “Malispite maybe, but not me!”

“HEY!”

“So… are you guys ready?” Gardevoir asked. Gallade’s eyes lit up.

“YOU MEAN YOU FINALLY ACCEPT MY PROPOSAL!?”

“…No, sorry...” Gardevoir sweat dropped. Gallade cursed under his breath, but reassured himself it was only a matter of time before his fair maiden gave in to his charms…

“I’m talking about the Career aptitude test!” Gardevoir smiled.

“Oh yeah, that.” Mercifond remembered, “When you’re done with it, it will give you the job you’re most suited to do.” The white bat explained to Deoxys.

“Ah… good times…” Mewtwo remembered. He was a year older than everyone but Deoxys, so he had already taken the test.

“What did you get on it?” Deoxys asked.

“It said I would grow up to be psychotic.”

Everyone sweat dropped.

“It was a lie, though.” Mewtwo assured everyone, “I was ALREADY psychotic when I took the test.”

Everyone sweat dropped further.

Each of them began telling the rest what they all wanted to be. Gliscor didn’t know what he wanted to be, so he skipped the question. Both Mercifond and Malispite wanted to join the army, specifically in the air force department. Gardevoir wanted to be an elementary school teacher, because she was good with kids. Much to everyone’s surprise, Gallade wanted to be an elementary school teacher too.

Yes, that was sarcasm.

“I already know what I’m going to be.” Darkrai bragged.

“Really? What?” Gardevoir asked the prince of darkness.

“I’m going to be God.”

Everyone sweat dropped again.

“Once my mom is out of the picture, then her position is mine for the taking!” Darkrai schemed.

Darkrai was instantly hit with a Judgment attack from space. It struck him, and left him paralyzed and unable to move.

“NO WAY!” a voice boomed from up above. Everyone stared at Darkrai, severely beaten. Suddenly Cresselia entered the room.

“I heard a Judgment attack.” she said fearfully.

“It only hit Darkrai. Nothing to worry about.” said Gallade. Cresselia breathed a sigh of relief.

“Oh good, I thought for a second it hit someone who mattered…”

“HEY!”

“So what do you want to get on the test?” Gardevoir asked the lunar swan. Cresselia smirked and replied

“I’m going to be the leader of all Legendarys.”

“HEY! THAT’S MY FUTURE CAREER!” Darkrai bellowed angrily within the confines of the crater. Cresselia scoffed and told him that there was no possible way it could happen, and that only someone as stylish, beautiful, smart, pretty, stylish, powerful graceful and stylish as her could be the leader.

“…You said ‘stylish’ thrice.” Malispite said.

“Yes.” Cresselia noted “Well, I’d better get going, I can’t wait to see the results.” the swan ran away. Gliscor too decided it was time for him to take the tests, and dove into his trashcan.

“I wonder what I’ll get?” Deoxys wondered aloud. She put on her white moustache for disguise, and now looked like an Ivysaur to everyone. “Mewtwo… will you escort me to my classroom?” she asked innocently.

“Sure, just give me a second…” Mewtwo said, putting another rod into Darkrai’s head, now ten in all stuck to his noggin.

“GET THIS GUY OFF OF ME!” Darkrai wailed.

“Mewtwo!” Gardevoir said angrily. Mewtwo pulled the rods out of Darkrai’s head, muttering about how unfair it was. He motioned for Deoxys to follow him, Gardevoir winking at said alien, and the two went off. Gardevoir then ran down the crater and helped the grateful prince of darkness to his feet.

“Thank you…” Darkrai said, “Hey by the way Gardevoir…”

“What?”

“…Have you noticed that Deoxys behaves differently around Mewtwo than the rest of us? It’s kind of weird…”

“You mean you haven’t figured it out yet?!” Gallade asked.

“What? Is she like… scared of him or something? Is that why she’s so nice?” Darkrai guessed, having no clue what the actual answer was.

“…I’m sure you can figure it out on your own.” Gallade rolled his eyes. Gardevoir giggled softly at Darkrai’s obliviousness.

“Come on! What is it!?” Darkrai asked angrily. It bothered him that they knew something he didn’t. However, they gave no response and walked off together. Darkrai was about to protest when the bell rang. Muttering to himself, he went in his own to take the test.



‘How would you rate yourself on a calmness scale, one being not very calm, ten being tranquil…' Gardevoir read the question. She tapped her pencil to her chin, thinking. She wrote down a nine.



What is one thing you pride yourself in? the question read.

“HM…” Gallade thought to himself, “The ability to seduce my love whenever possible!” he exclaimed.

“GALLADE! STOP TELLING US YOUR ANSWERS!!!” Mr. Rhydon shouted.

“NEVER!”

Gallade jumped out the window, dramatically.



If you could describe yourself in two words, what would they be? Darkrai saw.

‘hm…” he thought for a minute. He smirked.

’BAD…ASS…’ he wrote down on the paper.



‘Do you experience normal levels of stress...’ Agent Raptor read. She cocked her head, no, not recently, ever since thief Weavile escaped from containment area 99. That, and her partner was kind of a moron. She was about to put down a ‘no’, when she realized something.

“Wait a minute… WHY AM I TAKING THE CAREER APTITUDE TEST?!” Agent Raptor said aloud. “I ALREADY HAVE A JOB!”

“I don’t know!” Mr. Alakazam exasperated, he too confused as to why some random secret agent was in his classroom.

“I shall escape inconspicuously.” Agent Raptor announced. She dove out the window at breakneck speed, crashing through the glass. The bird landed on Gallade, who was taking HIS test.

“HEY! Watch where you’re leaping!” Gallade said angrily. Agent Raptor flew off before Gallade could use Leaf Blade on her.



EVENTUALLY…

“HERE ARE YOUR (BEEP!) RESULTS.” Mr. Magnezone handed the students their work. “HAVE A NICE (BEEP!) DAY!” Darkrai snatched his results and flew off into the hallways, looking for his friends.

He didn’t look hard enough, because he crashed into Gardevoir, who crashed into Malispite and Gliscor. Papers flew everywhere.

“Hey! Watch where you’re going Darkrai…” Gliscor said. He picked up what appeared to be his sheet of paper, and gave Darkrai his, and Gardevoir hers.

“So, what did you get?” Gardevoir asked politely. Darkrai grinned and looked at his sheet, knowing for sure it said that he would be a god. Confidently, he spoke aloud for all to hear.

“A Psychiatrist!” he announced proudly.

Everyone paused. Gliscor exchanged looks with Gardevoir, both of them knowing that Darkrai would think back on what he had said and probably burst into anger. A few seconds later, they were right.

“A PSYCHIATRIST!?”

“Seems kind of… unbelievable if you ask me…” Gliscor said, sensing something strange. Darkrai looked at his sheet again.

“Okay wait! There’s other jobs listed here.” Darkrai held up his hand “Psychiatrist… Nurse… teacher… GUNDAM!?” Darkrai said, shocked at the last part.

“You can get Gundam on this thing!?” Gardevoir asked, immediately looking at hers “I got… policeman?!” Gardevoir gasped. This wasn’t what she was expecting at all, not even close. Darkrai saw this, and tried to comfort her, but then, suddenly, Lucario leapt from the ceiling onto the ground in between the two. He glanced at Darkrai, then Gardevoir, and said

“You. Come with me.” to Gardevoir. He immediately used Extremespeed and took the dancing psychic with him. Darkrai tried to catch up, but the jackal was too fast.

“No, Gardevoir!” Darkrai clenched his teeth. What did Lucario want with her? He’d have to find out later, once he recruited Mewtwo…

“Gliscor.” Darkrai said. “I’m going to find Mewtwo so that we can rescue Gardevoir.” Darkrai stated “I’ll be back. Tell Gallade too, he might be of some help.” Darkrai zoomed off.

Ironically, Mewtwo and Deoxys appeared right behind Gliscor.

“Hi Gliscor!” Deoxys said. “I took the test and got my results.” she said proudly.

“Oh really, what’d you get?”

“It said… I would grow up to be an alien.” Deoxys sweat dropped. She stared at the sheet again. “…or a Gundam. I hit every question but one in the intelligence test.” she explained.

“Really, which one?” Mewtwo inquired. He thought that Deoxys was almost his equal in terms of knowledge.

“The question was…” Deoxys squinted at her paper. “When did the Third Great Destruction occur?”

“Oh yeah. I always get the date screwed up on the Destruction’s…” Gliscor sympathized. Deoxys thought that she had not made her point clear.

“Um, guys?” she spoke up, “What exactly IS a ‘Third Great Destruction’?”

Mewtwo and Gliscor were speechless. EVERYBODY knew about the Destruction’s. The knowledge was so common, that even small children knew about it! And yet SHE didn’t?! It was about that time that Cresselia walked (floated?) up to them, and asked what the matter was.

“She doesn’t know about the Destruction’s…” Gliscor said.

“Well, you know,” Cresselia rolled her eyes “That she IS an ALIEN. AND she has amnesia too!”

“Oh yeah.” He sweat dropped. “Maybe you’d better explain this to her, since, you know…” Gliscor nudged. Cresselia turned back to Deoxys.

“During brief periods of time on this Earth,” Cresselia began, “there were instances where life was almost completely annihilated. They are known as ‘Great Destruction’s’, because, as I said, life was almost completely eliminated during them. So far, there have been five Great Destruction’s.” she explained.

“Wow… five?” Deoxys said. She was eager to learn, so Cresselia spoke again.

“The First Great Destruction occurred about 4.1 billion years ago, when unicellular life first formed.” Cresselia said, “They were unsuccessful, and all life was actually eliminated.

However, life tried again, and this time succeeded by using DNA, and it thrived. But then, about 3.4 billion years ago, when cells began joining with each other, they were attacked by the very first virus, the Second Great Destruction. It wiped out 90% of all life on Earth, and the only reason it didn’t kill it completely is because the virus grew too successful and eventually couldn’t find a host, which saved life from extinction.” Cresselia paused, to make sure Deoxys was following along. She was, so Cresselia continued.

“The Third Great Destruction happened approximately 65 million years ago, when a giant comet hit the earth and killed all the prehistoric poke-dinosaurs. 90% of all life was eliminated. However, there are remains of them, in the form of Armaldo’s and Omastar’s and such.

The Fourth Great Destruction…” Cresselia paused. The fourth troubled her the most.

“The fourth was a war.” Mewtwo spoke for the purple swan “A giant world war. Two sides, the enemy’s, and Arceus’ side.” he said, “It was 200 years ago; 50 percent of the world’s biomass was destroyed.” he said. Deoxys shuddered, war was awful, she knew from experience.



…wait… how did she know that?

“A war…” Deoxys pondered. A thought struck her. “Wait a minute; you said Arceus was on one side, right? Who could be on the other side, with Arceus’ God powers?” Deoxys said; it made no sense. Mewtwo and Cresselia exchanged looks.

“We don’t know.” Gliscor said.

“I asked my mom who could be the equivalent of her in the war, and all she said was ‘He was a bad man’.” Cresselia said ominously. “She doesn’t say, and never talks about the war.”

“And the fifth?” Deoxys inquired.

“…We don’t know about that one either.” Cresselia said, “Textbooks say that 50% of all life was destroyed, but never gave a reason why. It occurred exactly 190 years ago, which is odd, since books were commonplace, not to mention its proximity to the war...”

“Arceus knows… doesn’t she?”

“I asked her about it and she grounded me for a week!” Cresselia said grumpily. Deoxys stared at Mewtwo, did he know? But Mewtwo stared off into space, thinking about something. There was an awkward silence before Cresselia spoke again.

“So… What’d you all get?” she asked, trying to relieve the tension.

“I got ‘Alien’.” Deoxys replied.

“I got ‘Burning Gundam’.” Cresselia said bitterly, “SERIOUSLY!! Why the hell is GUNDAM on this quiz anyways!?”

“Oh yeah, I remember doing that.” Mewtwo grinned, reminiscing old times.

Everyone stared at him.

“…I mean, um, Gliscor; I don’t believe we’ve seen your results.” Mewtwo changed the subject. Gliscor sighed and looked at his sheet.

“It says that when I grow up, I’m going to be a…” Gliscor’s eyes widened “SECRET AGENT!? WTF!?”

“AHA!” two voices yelled instantaneously. Before anyone could react, two figures crashed into the windows and landed in front of them- a male Infernape and a female Staraptor.

“Agent Blaze!” the Infernape said.

“And Agent Raptor!” the Staraptor announced.

“TOGETHER, WE ARE THE INVINCIBLE SECRET AGENTS!” Agent Blaze shouted though a mega- phone. Staraptor smacked him upside the head.

“WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST SAY ABOUT ANNOUNCING OUR STATUS TO THE WORLD!?” She shouted angrily.

“Oh, you guys…” Cresselia said. She glanced over at Deoxys, who thankfully was wearing her white moustache “Are… you still hunting the ‘alien’. Which by the way is not in this school. Or has a moustache that makes her look like an Ivysaur.” she added.

“Yep!” Agent Blaze said obliviously. “We’re going to hunt her down and kill her on the spot!”

“WHY DO YOU KEEP REVEALING INFORMATION!?”

“I’M SORRY! I HAVE A LOUD MOUTH!”

“THEN WHY DID YOU SIGN UP FOR THIS JOB!?”

“Okay look, is there a point to your appearance or what?” Mewtwo asked, annoyed “Because if there isn’t, then I’ll just kill you both right now for fun.”

Agent Blaze and Agent Raptor began to sweat.

“Uh… Anyway! Congratulations Gliscor!” Agent Raptor congratulated, eyeing Mewtwo just in case he really DID decide to kill them.

“Congratulations? On what?” he cocked his head

“Last night, we altered the test!” Agent Blaze explained proudly, “It gave the option to become a Secret Agent! The sole purpose being… to recruit new members! And out of all the 529.37 students in this school, YOU were the only one with the skills to qualify!”

“REALLY!?” Gliscor said, amazed. The others were astounded as well “That’s awesome!”

“Yep! And now you can help us with our missions whether you like it or not!” Agent Raptor said happily.

“…Wha-?”

AND THEY WHISKED GLISCOR OFF TO A MAGICAL LAND FILLED WITH GUMDROPS AND LOLLIPOPS!

“…the hell?” Mewtwo asked the narrator.

SORRY ABOUT THAT. I’M HIGH OFF ROOT BEER AGAIN.

“Ah.” Mewtwo understood. Silence. And then Cresselia’s eyebrows arched.

“Five hundred and twenty nine point three seven?” she asked the male psychic. Mewtwo grinned.

“Oh believe me that was VERY fun to do…” he replied insanely.

Deoxys and Cresselia ran away.



MEANWHILE WITH DARKRAI

‘Got to find Mewtwo… he has to be around her somewhere…’ Darkrai thought. Once he had Mewtwo, then Lucario would HAVE to give up.

Or Maybe Mewtwo would kill him.

Either way, he’d get Gardevoir back, which was good enough. Even if it meant sacrificing the jackal.

“Darkrai, what’re you running around for?” Darkrai looked to his side- Malispite, his giant black wings unfolded and zooming at high speeds alongside the prince of darkness.

“I have to get Gardevoir back, she was taken by Lucario!” Darkrai explained the whole situation to Malispite, and after Darkrai was done, Malispite laughed.

“HAH! YOU GOT PSYCHIATRIST!”

“SHUT UP! NOW IS NOT THE TIME!”

“Okay, okay.” Malispite said. He looked forward, no sign of either Mewtwo, Gardevoir of Lucario. “So…” he looked into Darkrai’s eyes “You’re giving up on Lopunny for Gardevoir?”

“THE HELL!? NO WAY WE’RE JUST FRIENDS!” Darkrai said angrily, “Lopunny is the most beautiful Pokémon in the universe! She cannot be compared by any! None match her beauty and wit, none can parallel-

BOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSHHHHH!!!

Darkrai was too busy praising Lopuuny to notice the wall that he hit. He slid off it and fell down. Malispite flew over to him.

“You okay there Darkrai?”

“Why yes, I am perfectly Finland Mercifond.” Darkrai said groggily, “Now hurry up some we have to find Groudon before Luke Skywalker sinks a chocolate flavored marshmallow…”

Malispite sweat dropped. The crash must have given him brain damage.

“Are you guys looking for me…?” a familiar voice asked. Malispite turned around- it was Gardevoir. Next to her was a giant cage.

“Groudon!” Darkrai said happily, “Now we can get the eggs off of our back just like the nail clippers swam away.”

“…Uh…”

“He hit his head on a brick wall.” Malispite explained. The tall brown bat eyed the cage “So… what’s with the…?”

“Oh!” Gardevoir looked like she remembered something “Lucario! He’s coming for you two- quick, get in this cage, as it can protect you!” she explained, motioning for the two to get inside the steel prison.

“Okay!” Malispite picked up Darkrai and he walked in the cage, careful to let go of him before his nightmare powers took effect “Thank you Gardevoir!”

“Indeed…”

Suddenly, the cage closed! Malispite shook it, but the steel prison would not budge. He tried to form a Zap Cannon in his mouth, but found that his powers were useless.

“Jinkies! The ghost tricked us into losing my glasses!” Darkrai moaned. Malispite smacked his head. The bat turned to face his true opponent-

CHUCK NORRIS.



…JK. It was actually Lucario.

“I finally have you trapped! Thanks to you, Gardevoir!” Lucario said happily. Gardevoir smiled.

“No problem, boss.”

“BOSS!?” Malispite said in exasperation. Gardevoir explained. Lucario had captured her because he heard about her getting ‘policeman’, so he wanted to recruit her for the school disciplinary force. Gardevoir had accepted- it was her future career after all. And her first task was to catch a certain pair of lawbreakers form chapter two.

“No! Gardevoir, don’t join the light side!” Darkrai said desperately.

Malispite: “Light side?”

Darkrai: “The power of the force is strong with this one.”

Malispite: “…”

Gardevoir: “…”

Lucario: “…”

Lucario: “…anyway, I’m sending you all…” Lucario paused for drama, then dimmed the lights and put a flashlight to his face. “TO DETENTION.”

“Gasp!” Malispite and Darkrai said fearfully.

”MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOR SOULS.” Lucario finished.

“You mean Darkrai’s mom?” Gardevoir asked.

”…Y-YEAH.” the blue jackal sweat dropped. He used some rope to tug the cage down some stairs, into a dismal dark abyss. And as Gardevoir stared down at the detention center, she wondered if she had really done the right thing…



THE SECRET AGENTS

“STOP REVEALING CLASSIFIED INFORMATION!” she yelled at the narrator.

‘Honestly…’ she sighed in her mind. She tuned to her two subordinates- Agent Blaze, and newly recruited Gliscor.

“First order of business!” she fluttered her wings. “You need a cool codename!”

“Is the name really that important?” Gliscor asked.

“Of course it is! Now come up with one!” Agent Raptor rolled her eyes. Gliscor began thinking. In a few moments, he had an idea.

“How about- Agent Apocalypse!” He said. He thought it sounded tough and manly.

“Negatory.”

“Wha!? But why!?”

“Because, rule number two is that your name can’t be cooler than mine; I’m the leader and I have to have the best name!” she said.

“There are rules to this?!”

“Yes.” Agent Blaze answered, “Tell him, Agent Raptor.”

“Ruled number one: Obey all rules.” Agent Raptor spoke “Rule number two: You can’t have a name cooler than mine. Rule number three: do not ask questions.”

“Why not?” Gliscor asked.

“WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST SAY ABOUT QUESTIONS!?” Agent Raptor blew up. Gliscor cowered in fear.

“Nah, JK! That’s not a rule!” Agent Raptor said happily.

“Ug…” Gliscor replied.

“The real rule number three! I am the undisputed leader of this squad!” she fluttered her wings. “Rule number four: Never set pedestrians on fire.”

“Why would…?” Gliscor asked. But then he looked at Agent Blaze, and realized why they had that rule.

“Lastly, rule number five: As undisputed leader, I can make up rules whenever I want to.”

Gliscor sighed. This was going to be troublesome…

“Okay, how about Agent Scorpio?” Gliscor suggested.

“Are you forgetting rule number two?!” Agent Raptor said “Bah! I’m making up your own name, since you can’t come up with any that fit the criteria! You’re codename is… AGENT PURPLE!”

Agent… purple…?” Gliscor said in disbelief.

“Ooh, I like!” Agent Blaze commented. The Staraptor smiled.

“Came up with it myself.” she tried to be modest. Gliscor inwardly fell down anime style.

“On to business!” Agent Raptor announced. Cautiously, she looked around the empty alleyway, just in case someone was watching. However, she found no apparent intruders, so she turned to Gliscor.

“Agent Purple, I’m going to get you up to speed on our mission.” she explained. “Ten weeks ago, the notorious thief Weavile escaped from Containment area 99- a place where only the most extreme criminals reside once captured. We have been assigned by our supreme leader to find and recapture her.”

“Okay, so what do you guys know about her so far?”

“We know that she may be in Destiny City. That is all.”

Gliscor fell down anime style.

“So you guys pretty much know nothing.”

“Yep.” Agent Blaze shrugged. A silence followed as Gliscor sunk in the information “…we do know one other thing.” Agent Blaze suddenly remembered. “Because she is in Destiny City, we presume that there is an object of value for her to steal.”

“It would have to be something BIG.” Agent Raptor added. “This city has the Hall of Origin in its center, not to mention Arceus, god of all Pokémon- Weavile must be here for something very valuable, the question is, what?” she turned to Gliscor. “You wouldn’t know any object of value, would you?”

“…nah, I think the only thing special about this city is that it has Arceus and the Council in it.” Gliscor shrugged. It was official. They had no leads.

“Well then, I have an idea.” Agent Raptor said, “Let’s build a trap.”

“A trap!?” Gliscor said, confused “How is a trap going to help us find Weavile?!”

“You’re right.” Agent Raptor acknowledged “We’ll make it a pitfall trap.”

“THE FUDGE?!”

And so, the three secret agents rushed off to make a pitfall trap.



THE DEPTHS OF HEL- I MEAN, THE DETENTION CENTER

50 feet below the school in the basement was the detention center. No natural light came here, so each individual cell had its own little lamp. It extended even further down than where the two dark types were being kept. Rumor had it that he detention center was unfathomable- reaching depths unknown.

Malispite knew this because during their descent, he spit in a hole that lead downwards. He never heard it make an impact, and with his large bat ears, that says something.

‘Yeah, we’re screwed.’ Malispite panicked in his mind. Finally, Lucario lead them to a cell labeled CELL 439 and shoved them into his. He closed the barred steel door, which also eliminated use of moves.

“Is this really a plausible punishment!?” Malispite said fearfully.

“Yes. Yes it is.” Lucario nodded “Gardevoir- you may feed them in two hours.”

“What will we be fed?” the brown bat asked hesitantly.

“Glop.” Lucario said.

“GLOP?”

“Glop.” the jackal repeated “Enjoy your stay!” he smiled.

“HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO ENJOY OUR STAY WHEN WE’LL BE FED ‘GLOP’!?”

“Good point.” Lucario murmured, “Oh well. You broke the law, so I don’t care.”

“GARDEVOIR!!” Malispite pleaded.

“Sorry!” she smiled uneasily, then followed Lucario up the steps.

“Darkrai!” Malispite turned to the white haired dark Pokémon. “We have to get out of here- it’s dark and damp, smells like someone threw up, and worst of all, THEY’RE GOING TO FEED US GLOP! AND I DON’T KNOW THAT IS!”

“That is not theoretically correct.” Darkrai scolded “For as we all do not know Fred can tweak my iPod to my encyclopedia.”

“YOU MEAN YOU’RE STILL OUT OF IT!?”

“FINLAND.” Darkrai hissed.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-”



MEANWHILE WITH MERCIFOND

“Gasp!” the white bat shuddered as a disturbance filled her body. “My batty- senses are tingling! My brother is in danger!”

“Yeah, they got sent to detention.” Mewtwo replied. The white bat whipped around

“Wait- how did you know that?!” Mercifond asked. Mewtwo pulled out a sheet of paper with lots of calculations on it.

“Shmalculus.” Mewtwo replied. “I used it a while ago to calculate their exact position five minutes from then.”

“Wow… you’re really smart, Mewtwo…” Deoxys blushed. Mewtwo grinned.

“I’m sure their fine.” Mewtwo shrugged.

“It’s the detention center.” Mercifond hissed, “No one has ever gotten out of there alive!”

“Oh yeah…”

“Is that true?” Deoxys said fearfully.

“Yes. I myself was in the detention center once.” Mewtwo responded.

“Did you die?”

“Sadly yes, but I managed to escape alive.” Mewtwo smiled reassuringly.

“Wait… you died but lived? How is that possible?” Mercifond asked.

Mewtwo paused.

“YOU BOTH KNOW TOO MUCH.” he deduced. He reached behind his back and pulled out a smoke bomb “Any more knowledge and I just may have to kill you…”

Seeing no other way, Mewtwo threw the smoke ball to the ground, which for some reason exploded, and during the explosion he escaped. When it was safe, Mercifond and Deoxys stopped shielding themselves.

“Well, it’s just you and me. We have to save my brother from the detention center!” Mercifond said, determined.

“Okay, let’s go!”

The girls looked down on themselves.

“…right after we wash all this char off.” Deoxys added. They headed for the girls bathroom.



MEANWHILE WITH ARCEUS

“…Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like you a like, and you should love me.” Arceus said to herself. “PERFECT! THIS WILL TOTALLY GET GIRATINA TO LIKE ME!”

“But it doesn’t even rhyme…” Dialga pointed out.

“And don’t you need to sign yor name one it?” Palkia added.

“OH FRIC!” Arceus realized. She couldn’t put her name on the paper, because then Giratina would know it was HER who sent it! And that completely contradicted the point of the love letter.

“I’ll just have to sign it anonymously then.”

“But it still doesn’t rhyme… and that poem’s been used too many times already…”

“OH YEAH!?” Dialga’s mother challenged. “Well let’s hear YOU write a better one then!”

“Okay…” Dialga thought. “How about this-”


“That’s a stupid way to begin a poem!” scolded Arceus, “Now be useful and help me think of something!



…WHY DID WE NEED THAT MEANWHILE?

Gallade walked to Gardevoir’s locker, fourth period had just ended, so they could all go home now. He was going to see if Gardevoir had finally accepted his marriage proposal.

“Gardevoir!” He called. He opened his eyes and realized there was no Gardevoir.

His mind raced as to where she could be. Within seconds, he had come up with a clear, logical conclusion.

“DARKRAI MUST HAVE STOLEN HER! THAT FIEND!”

Well, logical to him anyway.

“I MUST FIND THAT VILE JERKFACE AND FORCE HIM TO HAND OVER MY FAIR MAIDEN!”

And thus, the male psychic set off.



MEANWHILE WITH THE SECRET AGEN-

Agent Raptor: “DON’T SAY IT!!”

Narrator: “I CAN SAY WHUT I WANT TO!”

Agent Raptor: “If you reveal who we are, then I’ll tell the author to feed you Glop!”

Narrator: “GASP! NOT GLOP! OKAY, YOU WIN!”

MEANWHILE WITH… THREE… ORDINARY POKEMON! YEAH!


“Much better.” Agent Raptor said.

“Pitfall trap’s done.” Agent Blaze saluted “Now, we wait…”

Fortunately, they didn’t have to wait long, because from the sky shot an angry Judgment attack into the pitfall trap, with some shouting along the lines of ‘I HATE THIS THING!’. Agent Purple looked in it, and found a piece of paper.

“It’s… a love poem?” Gliscor said. He read it aloud “Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like you a lot, and you should love me. Wow, that’s a bad poem…”

“AHA!” the two agents said at the exact same time “It is obviously a code!”

“A code!?” Gliscor said in disbelief “How on earth could this be a code!?”

“Because in Pig Latin, it’s Esros rea edr, Etsviol rea uebl, I ikel ouy a otl, nda ouy uldsho velo em.” Agent Blaze explained.

“THE FUDGE!?”

“Which, translated into Spanish is, Estamos muy grande cansado los rojo’s.” Agent Raptor added on to her partners deduction.

“And in Chinese it would be Xiǎo Chūn.” Agent Blaze pointed out.

“So in English, the translation is…” Agent Raptor pondered the meaning for a moment “Go see principal Torkoal!”

“THE FUDGE!?” Gliscor shouted.

The three secret agents zoomed off to the Tajiri high school.



“LET US OUTTA HERE!” Malispite screamed, frantically hitting

“ESTA SERIE APESTA!” Darkrai screamed in vain.

“THE HELL!? SINCE WHEN DO YOU SPEAK SPANISH!?”

“Desde que me golpeé la cabeza en la pared de ladrillo.” Darkrai answered.

“I CAN’T UNDERSTAND HIM!!”

“You’ll never get out of there.” Lucario smirked, “You no good lawbreakers will be imprisoned forever!”

“But I’m not Gardevoir!” Darkrai shouted, confused.

“…” Lucario and Malispite said.

“Wait, why are you here anyway?” Malispite asked.

“To gloat.” answered the blue jackal.

“DAMN IT.” the brown bat cursed. Lucario laughed. The way he saw it, there was no possible way for them to get out. Not only because he was smarter and better in every way to them, but because-

“I’M NOT GARDEVOIR!!” Darkrai shouted.

Everybody sweat dropped.

“…Is he STILL out of it!?”

“Yep.” Malispite rolled his eyes.

“NO ESTOY FELIZ.” Darkrai hissed at the blue jackal.

“And or some reason, he keeps speaking in Spanish…” Malispite added. Suddenly, Gardevoir came down the stairs to their jail cell. She carried with her on a rolling cart a big blue pot.

“Here I am.” Gardevoir nodded to Lucario.

“Excellent!” He said. “It’s dinner time! You will now be fed…” Lucario pulled out his flashlight.

“GLOP.”

“OH NOES! NOT GLOP!” Malispite said in fear. Frantically, he shook Darkrai, begging him to snap out of it before Lucario could feed them the awful Glop.

“But I’m not Gardevoir!” Darkrai protested.

“WHY THE HELL DO YOU KEEP SAYING THAT!?”

“Because I’m not!” Darkrai shouted back, pulling out his job application sheet, telling him he was going to be a psychiatrist. For the first time, Malispite looked to the top right corner where Darkrai was pointing to.

It was signed Gardevoir.

“What the-?” Malispite yanked the sheet out of his hand “Gardevoir! This is YOUR sheet!”

“What!?” the female psychic said in confusion. She somehow pulled out her own from thin air and looked at it. ‘Darkrai’ was at the top of the sheet.

“What!? But how…” she asked herself. And then, she remembered.



FLASHBACK

A young Gardevoir, still in preschool, walked over to sharpen her pencil. Daintily, she hummed and finally found the machine, inserted her pencil into the slot and began cranking the device.

But when she pulled it out, the pencil was broken.



END FLASHBACK


“That’s right! When Darkrai bumped into me, we must have accidentally swapped sheets!” Gardevoir remembered.

“BUT WHAT DID THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE FLASHBACK?” Malispite said, stupefied.

“I have no idea.” Gardevoir shrugged, “Anyway, I’m going to rescue you guys! Lucario, I quit!”

“Curses! Foiled again!” Lucario grit his teeth “Why doesn’t anyone want this job!?”

“Gee, let me think.” Darkrai said sarcastically, “You lock us up in a jail cell, threaten to keep us here forever, and oh yeah- YOU WANT TO FEED US FRICKEN GLOP!!”

“Oh yeah, that.” said the blue jackal, “Hey wait! You’re not out of it anymore!” he realized.

“Yeah, Gardevoir’s flashback saved me from insanity.” Darkrai replied.

“THE FUDGE!?”

“Yeah, I don’t get it either. The author needs better ideas…”

“No matter! Even if you are cured, I will never let you out of there!” Lucario smirked. Gardevoir began to glow with psychic energy.

“Then I’LL just have to free them.” she said. But then, Lucario laughed.

“Try it.”

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