08/24/2005 Wednesday afternoon
Late the next afternoon, Nick had stopped at Reilly's hotel and picked her up and they were currently driving in relative silence to her ultrasound appointment. Nick was excited to see if they were having a boy or a girl and he wanted to convey that excitement to Reilly.
"So are you wanted a boy or a girl?" He asked her. He spared a quick look at her as he drove down the busy street.
"I'm just hoping for a healthy baby, Nick. Why? Do you want a boy or a girl?" She asked her tone soft. She knew he was trying, but she just couldn't bring herself to get excited when there was a chance they might be together after the baby was born.
"I want a healthy baby, too, Reilly. You know that. I'm just tying to get you excited. Weren't you excited the first time, when you found out Sam as a girl?"
"When I was pregnant with Sam, they didn't do an ultrasound to determine the sex; only if they suspected medical issues, at least my doctor didn't. I'm not exactly used to all the things they can do now compared to a lifetime ago. It does surprise me all the things they can do now." She couldn't help smiling a little as she realized how much things had changed over the years. She was really beginning to feel like she was foolish for being an older woman and having a baby.
"Wow. So you had no idea until the deliver?" Nick was surprised by that. He always saw Reilly has being ready with all the facts and he knew from past experience how she always had to be in charge. He was surprised she went through that not knowing until the end if she had a son or a daughter.
"Nope. I was prepared for a boy, just a feeling my mother had, but I ended up with a girl and I'm okay with that. Besides a girl was easier since Sam's father didn't want to be involved anyway." Reilly replied becoming a little quieter at the memories of Sam's father.
"Reilly that will never happen with me. You're stuck with me. Please believe me when I say I'm here for eternity. You can't get rid of me." He reached out and took her hand in his. He was pleasantly surprised when she didn't immediately pull away from his touch.
"I know, Nick." She turned misty eyes to him. "I know."
"Reilly, are you okay? Are we okay?" He asked. "I mean I know I've messed up, but I'm trying so hard to fix things. I love you and I'm not going away. And whether you decide to stay in Vegas or go back home, I'm still going to be there for you. Please believe me." Nick tried hard to get her to understand.
"Nick, I know you're trying. I know you love me. I know you will be there for our baby. I know all of that, and yet it still doesn't change how I feel. The only thing I keep thinking about is the fact that you're younger than me and that someday you're going to fall out of love with me. I know you say you won't, but I can't help feeling this way. And now we have to deal with Lauren and we also have to deal with Hillary and Kevin. Don't get me wrong, I love Hill, she's a great friend, but I can't help looking at her or even at Lauren and seeing myself pale in comparison. They are young and either of them could give you more children. This baby will be it most likely. To me, it's a miracle I conceived at all. I don't think I've got the juice to pop out anymore." Reilly said it all in a rush. This was the most she'd said at one time on the subject since hearing Hillary's confession in Grissom's office.
Nick was speechless at first. She really thought he'd toss her aside when another younger woman came along? Oh, my God, he thought. "Reilly, none of that could be farther from the truth. If you truly believe that I'd toss you aside for someone else, younger or not, then you really don't know me at all." He couldn't believe she felt that he would do that to her.
"Nick, we're almost there, let's not ruin this moment." She said quietly going back inside herself. So it was said. She had said it out loud. She hated herself for being older and she was envious of the younger women. That was her one problem. She could not get past the age difference. She'd tried, but she just couldn't stop hating herself for being older.
Nick turned into the medical park's parking lot and parked his truck. What was he going to do? Reilly really didn't believe he would be there all the way to the end. How was he going to get through to her that he didn't give a damn about her age? Well, one way or another, he thought he was going to have to work hard at this relationship and prove to her that she was stuck with him.
The little blue Honda followed Nick's truck into the medical park and pulled in a space a few spaces down from Nick. The woman staying in the car and watched as Nick and Reilly exited the truck and went into the medical building. The woman's dark brown eyes were trained on the couple until they had entered the building. While she sat in her car and waited for them to return to their vehicle, her cell phone rang. As she reached for it, she checked the caller ID and couldn't help smiling at the name displayed.
"Hello, sis. How's things going on your end?" She said into the phone.
"So are you two ready to see what you're going to have?" The nurse said, her soft Midwestern accent coming through as she smiled at Nick and Reilly.
"Yes." Reilly said, smiling as she lay back on the exam table while another nurse squirted the gel on her exposed tummy.
Nick chuckled softly as he felt Reilly give an involuntary shudder from the cold gel hitting her skin.
"Do you want to hear the heartbeat?" She asked them. Reilly nodded looking at the monitor showing their baby moving about. The nurse reached over and twisted a knob and suddenly the exam room filled with the sound of the baby's heartbeat. Nick squeezed her hand as he beamed. "We have a very healthy heartbeat." She said. "Hummmmm…"
Reilly turned to look at the nurse as she seemed to be watching the monitor quite intently. "What's wrong?" Reilly asked, her mother's intuition rearing up. She knew that look on the nurse's face. Something was puzzling her.
The nurse turned and smiled at her though. "Nothing's wrong at all. Just seems that I'm hearing an echo. Could be the sound bouncing off something or it could be…" she let the sentence trail off.
"Could be what?" Nick panicked; he didn't know what was going on, but if Reilly was worried, he was worried.
"Nothing, sweetie. Nothing at all." The woman smiled warmly at the both of them, but Reilly could still sense that something was not quite right. "Reilly it's nothing at all. See the echo's gone now. We're only hearing one strong heartbeat." She seemed to be telling the truth there, but Reilly wasn't going to let this go.
"You're absolutely sure nothing's wrong?" She asked again.
"Yes, absolutely. Now you're scheduled to meet with Dr. Warren on Monday and he can go over these results in depth with you then. And please there really is nothing wrong here. I mean it." She smiled as she reached over to turn another knob. "Now, let's get a good look at this baby… it looks like you are having a…"
AN: please don't forget those reviews!