Order after order spilled from my lips, a never ending flow of commands. And not just commands, but requests, desperate pleas for her to live, for her not, under any circumstances, to die on me.
She could not die.
What happened next was nought but a blur, a roaring rush that seemed both incredibly fast and torturously slow. Once again, I was a visitor in my own body, watching but not seeing as the world went on around me. Watching as the pack materialised around me, only to vanish moments later. Watching as the forest flew past me in a haze, before morphing back into the pack. There were voices, so many voices, panicked ones and loud ones and horrified ones. I didn't hear any of them, not even my own; not even my own mouth, speaking words I couldn't understand.
The only thing that was real, that was clear, was her. Thea. Thea, who would occasionally breathe out the softest murmur. Her voice was the only one that could reach me through the fog, always saying the same, single word.
Every time I heard it, it was like being punched in the stomach. It was bad enough to see with my own eyes, to feel that she was dying, to feel the imprint fading with every second that passed. But to have her reminding me, telling me, that I was losing her… that, I couldn't handle.
She could not die.
I was flying. We were flying. I was clinging onto Thea as we flew down the highway, my motorbike alive and roaring beneath us. Somehow, I was steering; though where I was taking us, I did not know. Not until we reached a house, a house that might have been familiar, but that I could barely process in my haze. Even the man that answered the door was unfamiliar for a moment, the blond hair and pale skin blurred as I stared. I recoiled when he stepped forward, clutching Thea closer to my chest; she was mine. My imprint.
My dying imprint.
'Carlisle, please help her.' I was surprised to hear my quiet voice ring out, rough and desperate. Not because of how hoarse I sounded, but because for the first time in a while, I was hearing something other than Thea. But just as quickly as it came, my surprise was then forgotten; instead, I found myself wondering when exactly I'd carried Thea upstairs, and why I'd thought it was a good idea to ever let go of her. She looked so small, so hurt, so alone on the operating table; and above all, so far away. Before I'd even finished the thought, I was stepping forward, intent on joining her there; but now Carlisle was blocking the way. Carlisle, whose movements were a fast blur as he pulled out bandages and needles and bottles.
Trying to save my dying imprint.
I was at her side again now, standing at her head. No, not standing, sitting. Sitting as my fingers ever so lightly trailed across her forehead and through her hair. Hair that my face was now buried in as I inhaled, breathing in her sweet smell. A smell of forest and flowers; and of blood.
So much blood. So much blood.
Someone spoke; I didn't know who. Reflexively I raised my head at the sound, even though I hadn't heard a word that was said. Part of me wondered if maybe I should try and find out, before I remembered I didn't care; there was only her. There was only Thea, my eyes once again taking in her broken body. With the sword still buried in her chest, she had to lie on her side; which I wouldn't have minded, except now I couldn't tear my eyes away from her back, and the countless slashes across the skin.
More blood. More pain. An involuntary whimper escaped my lips, and once again I let my head droop to rest on the table; I couldn't look at her, not like this. I couldn't look at her eyes, constantly fluttering open and shut, open and shut, glazed with pain. It almost would have been better if she'd fallen unconscious, but then she would have been one step closer to disappearing, and that could not happen. So instead, I was forced to watch her struggle. I couldn't stand it; I couldn't stand to see her so hurt. I didn't want to see anything anymore, or hear anything, or think anything; I just wanted Thea.
I wanted her not to be dying. I wanted her not to be hurt. I wanted to hold her; but I couldn't do any of it, couldn't change it. The best I could do was touch her; touch oh so gently the parts of her that were still unharmed. Like her hair, so wonderfully soft as I ran it through my fingers. And her cheek, which was golden and smooth beneath my hand. Both were so perfect; except for the blood.
Blood streaked across her skin, a red smear across her cheek. Blood matted in her hair, leaving it a knotted mess.
Blood was everywhere. Everywhere.
'Jacob!' I flinched as the sharp and urgent voice broke through my mindless panic, but I dismissed it almost instantly; it wasn't important. The only thing important now was her. Saving her.
'Thea–' I caught the quiet mutter of her name as someone spoke in a frantic rush, recognition making me twitch. I might not care about my name, but Thea's… that was a different story. Forcing myself to concentrate, I tuned into the conversation.
'–need something for the pain…'
'Will anything work, though? She's a hybrid, we don't know what it'll do to her. And with the venom in her system…'
'We can't leave her like this; she can't handle it. We have to get her unconscious.'
'We could try–'
The rest of the conversation faded into nothing, my brain freezing as it latched onto the four words that had made my heart clench.
She can't handle it.
Over and over again they were scrolling through my mind, the meaning slamming into me.
She can't handle it.
Thea was hurting. She was hurting so, so, so badly. And it was too much. It was too much; she couldn't handle it. And I knew what that meant, what was going to happen.
I was going to lose her.
Oh god, I needed to do something. Something, anything, to stop this; she could not die. I would not let her die. I still had the imprint. I could still feel her. I could feel her fading, but that didn't matter; I would pull her back. I would not let her go.
And so, in a rush, I threw myself into the imprint. There was no real way to describe it; no real description for the way I grabbed hold of the part of Thea that was in me, one end of the tether between us. It wasn't quite a physical thing, nor a mental one either. But nether-the-less, it was there, and I had a grip on it; before, with a tremendous heave, I was yanking her towards me.
For one terrifying moment, it seemed as if she wasn't going to come; as if the bond wasn't going to let me tug her close again. She was so weak, and so far away… perhaps too far. I pulled again, harder now, at the same time trying to force myself – and my energy – towards her; if she didn't have the strength, I would give her my own. And then, with a sudden jerk, she was there.
Thea. I breathed in my mind. God, please tell me you can hear me.
I needed a reply. I didn't care what it was. It could be anything; anything, anything at all. A word. A moan. Hell, even a whimper, though I'd far rather not hear that awful sound come from her lips. Or maybe I didn't even need a sound. Just an emotion through the bond would do; surprise maybe, or confusion. Whatever it was, I would take it; all I needed was to know that she was still there.
Her voice was so quiet. So quiet. If I hadn't already known just how hurt she was, her barely there, pained voice would have told me. As it was, my breathing hitched with a mixture of relief and hurt at the word, as I let my hand once again dust across her forehead.
Hurts… She whimpered.
I'm sorry, honey. So, so sorry. I murmured miserably. I don't know how to stop it. I don't know what to give you.
This time a real whimper escaped her, and I had to clench my teeth to hold back a whimper of my own; only to find myself freezing at her next word.
What? For a moment I was stunned, unable to understand what the hell she had just told me; until a sudden voice behind me answered my silent question.
'Thiopental. It's a drug; she wants us to give it to her.' Edward's voice said quietly, quickly followed by the quiet clinking of bottles.
Oh. I let a relieved sigh. Finally. Finally we had a way to save her from the pain.
'Ask her how much.' I started slightly as Edward's voice reappeared just over my shoulder, my head whipping upwards and around to shoot him a dazed and bewildered look.
'Ask her if she knows how much we need to give her.' He clarified, and I turned my head back to once again glance at Thea's limp form.
Thea, do you know how much you need? I asked quietly. A long silence followed my question, and I felt her struggling to form an answer.
12. She eventually breathed. Again, I was confused; god, nothing seemed to be making sense anymore. 12 what?
'12 grams.' Someone answered behind me, their voice coated with disbelief. I glanced up with concern to see Carlisle giving Edward a shocked look.
'That's three times the lethal dose.' He said, his voice slow with disbelief, and I felt myself freeze as the words sunk into my brain.
'What?! You can't give her that!' I heard myself exclaim, the words bubbling out of my mouth without my volition. Fresh fear was rising up thick and fast as a sickening image of what could happen to Thea burst to life in my mind; her, dead on the table she was laying on right this second. The vision was made only worse by the fact that she really didn't look much different all from how she did now, and an uncontrollable shudder ran through me at the thought.
No. No no no. It couldn't happen. But the image was everywhere now, seared into my eyelids, the only thing I could focus on. I didn't hear Edward's soft mutter to Carlisle that 'Maybe you shouldn't have said that out loud'. I didn't see them ignore my protest, measuring out the drug I had already forgotten the name of; I was too busy panicking.
And yet, somehow, I slammed back into reality just in time to see Carlisle standing over Thea, a large syringe in his hands.
I didn't think. I didn't pause. In an instant I was on my feet, roaring as I lunged for the vampire that was about to kill my imprint.
And the next instant, I was being slammed to the ground.
They must have expected it; there was no other way to explain how they could have tackled me before I'd even finished rising from my chair. I didn't even know who they were; I didn't know whose arms were restraining me, didn't know who I was fighting like hell to get away from.
All I knew was that they were going to kill her. Kill Thea. Kill my imprint.
'You're going to kill her. Ohmygod you're going to kill her. You're going to kill her you're going to kill her you're going to–'
'We're not going to kill her!' Someone shouted in my ear, shaking me violently, but I didn't listen; I couldn't listen.
Because even as I desperately tried to reach Thea, Carlisle was jabbing the needle into her neck.
If I hadn't been watching Thea, hadn't been staring terrified into her eyes, I would have killed them all. Or rather, I would have tried; because even though a raging wolf trying to save his imprint's life was a force to be reckoned with, the same wolf wasn't quite so threatening when he was fighting just to stay awake.
I felt it the moment she was injected; I felt the drug powering through her system, felt the almost overwhelming urge to just keel right over as drowsiness slammed into me. Instinctively, I fought back against it, forcing myself to stay awake; I couldn't fall asleep, I had to save her!
But then I saw her eyes. I watched as with just one, slow blink, the glazed pain in her gaze morphed into relief; relief that was echoed in the soft sigh that escaped her lips.
In an instant, the fight bled out of me, my angry growl turning instead into a relieved whine. I didn't feel the many sets of arms that had been restraining me disappear; all I knew was that this time, when I lurched towards her, there was nothing stopping me. Nothing stopping me from stumbling in her direction, nothing stopping me from falling to my knees next to her, my face level with hers as my thumb reached out to gently brush against her lip.
It won't… Her voice started off softly in my mind, before suddenly cutting off. I froze as I heard the sound, my worried gaze locking on hers as silence stretched between us.
…kill me. She eventually gasped, and I felt myself stiffen.
It won't kill me. What did that mean?
Thea, I don't understand. I replied with confusion. I heard her suck in a shuddering breath, and I feared for a moment that she was going to fall unconscious before she could explain; through the imprint, I could feel her starting to drift away. But then, suddenly, she was forcing out the words in a soft murmur.
Another heavy breath, another heart stopping pause.
Her eyes were drooping now, her lips parting beneath my fingers.