Lover

I have one favorite song all the time.

I remember how it was randomly played on my playlist three years ago. The sound of the music, the vibe of it, his voice..., I could easily recognized it as Arctic’s song. It sounded so beautiful, yet so hurtful—which is leading me to say these words.

Who doesn’t believe in love? Want to get to know it, get to close to it, and feel it for the rest of their life?

Age doesn’t define someone to fall in love at the right time. Like Harry Styles says, age is just a number and maturity is a choice.

But, I do believe love is more than just one night, one hour, and furthermore one second—or people tend to call it as love at first sight. Love is a serious thing you’ve ever received; family, best friend, the unexpected one. It is a serious thing you will ever choice; lover.

You might still make many choices in young age, mostly your dreams, or you’re still unstable on your twenties, mostly about career, but if you do have vision with someone and to make it clear not just developing feelings to each other, why don’t give it a try? After all, world is a place to make a mistake and in the end, you will learn or keep making the same one.

I never experience such a young love, real young love, all my life. All I know that my heart is a fragile when it comes to my type, but I never really into one of them until one fine day I just know that I like someone. Do I ever love someone? Maybe yes, maybe not. Besides, I never fall in love with my best friend. Always an ordinary guy with an extraordinary feeling. And, the last time I buried a feeling was when everything seemed wrong in my life. I felt lonely, but not that kind of meaningful loneliness, because I believe what people call as ‘the one’ will come to me someday.

Well, being alone is quite fun actually and feeling like there’s no space to think about a guy.

“Miss,” a husky voice said. “I think your earphone is too loud.”

“Oh, thanks.” I lost words seeing him so that’s all I could say.

A guy next to him popped his head up, “Did you just listen to our song?”

“Yeah, I'm a fan actually," I admitted shyly.

“Really? Who’s your name?”

“Versa.”

I always believe adolescence is the most beautiful moment in life because of its friends. But, it didn’t happen to me. I think I’ve been spending most of my adolescence for having idols. I know, I know. Maybe for some people having idol is about obsession which is wasting time and money. Well for me, having idol is like how teenagers spending their time with their friends.

And since I love music, my idol is always a musician. I used to be a fan of old hits like The Beatles, Bee Gees, Michael Jackson, etc which is good because being a music pop fan is tiring. The fans are averagely as the same age as I am.

From time to time, I always believe my idol nowadays is my last idol—apparently not! Especially when my high school friends brought Korean stuff to me. I get new one, I forget the last one. Yup, that’s me being a seasonal fan.

Since liking iKON, having idol is like having best friend to me. Their journey should have inspired me, but I’m sick with inspiring stuff to change my life. They may not give me any motivation, but still make me very happy through their silly traits.

Those two people, a husky guy and his friend, are Kim Ji-won and Kim Donghyuk.

So, that’s why....

“Did you watch our concert in Jakarta last year?”

“Unfortunately, no.” My worn shoes is an exact view everytime I feel nervous looking at both of them. “I haven’t been being a fan yet.”

“It’s such a shame we aren’t going to Indonesia next year.”

“I know,” my lips frowned. I could just wait for their next world tour, but I’m at the moment where fangirling is a thing I really shouldn’t think about. I should work part time next year and planning graduate three half years. The longer I wait from years to years, the closer they are to the military.

For a moment, we have such a nice conversation. I guess I’m lucky meeting two members of iKON who could speak English—definitely I cannot speak their language, so do they. Now for a farewell, I asked them to take some pictures; one with Kim Ji-won—Bobby, one with Donghyuk, and last one all of us together.

“I promise I won’t post these photos on social media.”

“I believe you can keep your words.” Donghyuk’s smile is like a honey and of course, it will be the only honey that I like.

“Maybe send my hello to the others?”

“We will. Bye, Versa!”

I watched them getting further away. I wish I could meet all of them. Sure, I wouldn’t expect more to watch their concert, fan meeting, or whatever because for having a moment with them is more than enough. []