Kindred Spirits

Throughout my life, I’ve experienced countless thrills. From skydiving from a plane to lining up the perfect shot to end my target. The life of an assassin was something I had grown to adore. Every time I am sent out to eliminate a target, my blood begins to pump warm once more. My eyes dilate, my heart races and a satisfying smile never fails to grace my face.

But there was always one question I had in the back of my mind.

It is one that always comes back to me whenever I wasn’t on an assignment. Whenever I wasn’t maintaining my rifle. Whenever I wasn’t looking for the perfect position to set up my plan of action.

What is this warmth?

It wasn’t like the euphoric moment of pulling the trigger and watching the light leave their eyes. It also wasn’t like the deep satisfaction of completing a job as planned. It was...

Strange.

I pondered it for many nights, tossing and turning in my bed as I tried to get to sleep but no matter how much I thought, I couldn’t find an answer. It was useless to ask anyone I knew because none of them would ever be able to relate to the way I feel nor the curiosity I had.

Sometimes...I wonder what would’ve happened if I didn’t kill you Gerard. I keep trying to understand the reason why my thoughts keep coming back to you. The way you treated me when we worked alongside Overwatch. The smiles you gave me whenever we went to dinner, the embrace you held me in whenever I needed comfort...all of it felt surreal now. Perhaps it is regret or remorse...though that would imply that I truly feel saddened to my heart over it all.

But I don’t. I haven’t felt the sting of remorse in a very long time...

No. This warmth was different. It always shows itself when I see a graveyard or whenever I see someone else die by a hand other than mine. Curiosity would be the best word I could use to describe it, but that doesn’t account for it all.

I can’t take back what I’ve done and truthfully, it was better this way. Overwatch was degenerating into a militaristic powerhouse that would eventually bring “justice” to the world by shows of force. Even though I don’t care right now...it isn’t the life I would’ve wanted you to continue living. Perhaps we could’ve run off to join Talon together and then help end their hapless pursuit of peace and happiness...because as we all know.

Peace is the absence of conflict, and a world without conflict is horrifying.

Perhaps I will find the answer one day...or maybe my life will end and I’ll never know. One thing is for certain:

I haven’t felt more alive than I do now...but at the same time, I’ve never felt such disgusting pain...and the worst part of it all is that I may never be able to fully understand what all of this means.

Because a spider isn’t supposed to feel. All a spider can do is ensnare its prey and once its will has been broken, the moment it has lost everything...only then does the spider grant their wish for death. And in their death...

Is the moment where the spider truly feels alive.

I closed my journal before getting to my feet. I shook my head; reading that entry had made me realize just how wrong I was.

“It can only be regret that I feel...and there’s nothing I can do to truly erase it,”

I got to my feet and looked at the calendar above my desk.

“December 25th...”

I approached the desk before picking my rifle up and examining it for the fifth time tonight. It was almost maddening being unable to stop thinking about him...

To stop thinking about the simultaneous euphoria and regret of hearing his breathing cease for the final time...and the sudden halt of his heartbeat. It has plagued my dreams for the past few weeks and I hadn’t a clue why. It didn’t bother me before...but now it’s as if someone had opened a small window in my mind and all of it was coming back. I let out a deep sigh as I looked next to the rifle to see the red rose I had bought earlier from the flower shop across the street.

“Perhaps it will help put my mind at ease if I pay him a visit...”

I entered my bathroom before turning on the lights. I was wearing nothing but my black bra and panties as I had intended to go to sleep...but I just couldn’t find the comfortable spot I was looking for. I splashed my face with warm water as I looked deep into my reflection’s eyes.

“What the hell is going on with me?”

My PDA suddenly began to ring loudly, breaking me from my thoughts. I approached it before looking at the ID.

“Reyes...likely means we have another job and he wants my help,”

I looked back to the rose once more and for the first time...I declined his call. I put on a thick sweater and leggings before donning a trenchcoat. After taking the flower in my hands, I made my way out of my apartment.

“Not this time...I’m going to be selfishly righteous for once.”

~ o ~

Twenty Minutes Later

I placed the rose in front of the gravestone and took a deep breath.

“Here I am...finally visiting for the first time,” I said.

I gazed down at the writing before closing my eyes and letting out a deep sigh.

“...I wish I knew what it would be like to have you around; we could accomplish so much together,” I said.

I adjusted the collar of my coat to block some of the incoming wind.

“Though I have memories of you...I cannot find a reason to be fond of them,” I continued.

I crouched down before placing my hand on the stone, running it along the letters of his name.

“Perhaps one day...I’ll come back if I ever figure out how to think like that again but for now, rest well Gerard,” I said.

I got to my feet before stuffing my hands into my pockets. I closed my eyes.

“Repose en paix,” I whispered.

I was about to leave until I heard the sound of a rifle cocking.

“So it appears your conditioning is wearing down now? You came all the way here just to see your husband?”

I cursed under my breath as I raised my hands helplessly.

“This is none of your business,” I snapped.

I felt the butt of the rifle collide with my back, dropping me to the floor as my assailant began to laugh loudly.

“Amélie Lacroix...or should I say Widowmaker is actually beginning to feel remorse? That’s not what we trained you to do so it seems we need to make sure that you don’t ever feel again,”

I looked up to see that it was one of the men from Talon that hired me in the past. He did not look amused.

“So you’ve got a choice: come with me so we can complete the nullification process...or take a bullet to your brain,” he said.

I shook my head and before he could react, I swept my foot towards his and manage to knock him off his feet. I immediately rolled for the gun that he dropped, catching it before pointing it at him. I then pulled the trigger...only to hear nothing but a click. He laughed loudly as he sprang to his feet and pulled out a revolver from his belt.

“Do you really think I would come here and threaten you without a back up plan? You take me too lightly Miss Lacroix,” he taunted.

Now feeling defeated, I dropped the rifle before raising my hands again.

“You’re damned good at your job Amélie and it feels like a waste having to kill you...but we don’t have room for sentiment in Talon. Attachment does nothing but hinder our progress for a newer, stronger world,” he said.

I narrowed my eyes as he raised the revolver.

“Looks like this is the end for you...I thought the infamous Widowmaker would’ve been more of a challenge to find...as well as to kill,”

He cocked the revolver. For once...I saw no way out of a situation. I didn’t bring my rifle nor any of my gear...for once.

I was powerless.

“Such a shame...but orders are-”

His breath suddenly hitched and the next thing I knew, I heard the loud clang of metal. I opened my eyes to see the man gripping his hand, hissing in pain. The revolver had fallen out of his hand and next to it...was a bullet. I heard footsteps come up behind me and the next thing I knew, another bullet flew through the air and struck the man dead in his chest. He fell to the ground, but not before reaching for his earpiece.

"OPEN FIRE!" he shouted.

I felt a hand grab onto mine and I turned to see a hooded figure. I assumed it was Reyes...but there was no signature skull mask. No...this person had his face concealed by a black balaclava.

“Who are you!” I shouted.
“I’ll explain later, let’s get out of here before the rest of the squad gets here!” he replied.

I hesitated for a moment...but conceded. Bullets then began to fly and unfortunately for me, one struck me in my right calf. I cried out in pain and fell to the ground, my hand losing its grip around my mysterious savior. However...there was something strange about this bullet. My vision began to fade, my leg didn’t feel anywhere near the amount of pain I should’ve been feeling for being shot there...it could only mean that the bullet was coated in something.

“Bon sang!” I cursed.

Much to my surprise however, the hooded figure picked me up into his arms and began to run at quite an astonishing speed.

“That bullet was coated with a potent cocktail of scorpion venom and an anesthetic...you’re going to lose consciousness unless you stay with me,” he said.

I could barely hear his words; they began to sound like blurs.

“Who...who are...you...” I said.

My body felt like it was slowing down drastically and before I knew it, I couldn’t feel my legs and it was now getting difficult to see.

“Amélie...Amélie! Stay awake!”

It was no use...as everything drifted to black.