Lady Of Vulcan

Chapter 8

She laid the PADD down on the bed and was surprised to find that her eyes were filled with tears. Going to the chest she began taking the other items out. Some were extraordinarily fragile and she found notes from Edith’s brother, Charles, reports from private investigators searching for a ‘Captain Kirk’. All to no avail. Suddenly tired, she laid everything back in the chest and checked the time. Good, she had time to do some meditation

Settling herself in front of the window in the lounge she closed her eyes. Strangely enough she didn’t feel anger, just an overwhelming sense of sadness that her ancestor had never known she was pregnant or that this Captain Kirk had never known and probably still didn’t know her treacherous mind informed her, that he would be a father.

Eventually after a period of intense concentration, her mind stilled and she was able to step outside herself and examine her feelings. Two hours later she opened her eyes, smiled slightly and stretched. She felt better, the outright hurt and disbelief had faded and she felt more able to examine the rest of the chest. True she would have to return to the lawyer but she felt better equipped this evening than she had for the past three days.

Was this too part of becoming Shatry’a? She thought wearily as she stumbled to bed. She didn’t know and she had a rather nasty feeling that she was the only person who would be able to discover this out. Tomorrow, Tomorrow I will look at it and then be able to see where I’m going. She remembered turning the lamp off and pulling the covers over her torso before she sank into slumber.

She woke early again, just as the sun was a scarlet disk poking above the horizon. Yawning she stumbled into the bathroom and performed the usual ablutions, washing her face, brushing her teeth and hair. Then she returned to the bedroom to pick out her clothes for the day. Suddenly her stomach clenched as she realised that today was the second day they’d be trying the feromazone on Captain Kirk,

The prospect of breakfast no longer seemed appealing, but she forced down a cup of Vulcan coffee and a piece of kreila although her stomach threatened to rebel abouthalfway through. She picked up her bag and slipped out of the door. M’Benga was waiting for her by the nurse’s station. “Did you rest at all?” he demanded when he saw her face.

“A little,” she admitted.

“And how much is a little?” Jabilo asked. Sighing he shook his head, “You’re incorrigible, T’Kar. It isn’t just my patients I expect to behave, it’s my staff too. When I tell you that I want you to go home and rest I expect you to go home and rest.”

“I promise I didn’t dance beneath the moon,” T’Kar insisted.

“Charis causes me more problems than any other planetary body,” M’Benga shook his head, “that blasted moon. It’s not even a moon at all!”

“But there’s just something about it,” T’Kar shook her head, “I can’t explain it Jabilo I just feel inspired when I go out and stand beneath T’kuht.”

“Well you’re one of the more sensible ones,” Jabilo said, “you go out with the tours and only stay out for a few hours. We had five people in overnight who decided that they wanted to go out and dance beneath the moon. Fools!”

“Are they all right?” T’Kar asked, her heart rising in her throat.

“They were lucky,” Jabilo replied, “they hadn’t strayed too far from the trail.”

“Thank goodness,” T’Kar replied.

“It’s that bloody moon,” Jabilo cursed under his breath and said, “You’d better come on through, you can talk to the Captain while he has breakfast. Have you had anything?”

“A quick snack,” T’Kar responded. “Didn’t feel like much this morning.”

“I’m sure that the Captain can persuade you to have something else,” M’Benga replied, “if I’ve told you once I’ve told you a hundred times! You must look after yourself too.”

Sighing he held open the door and swallowing, T’Kar entered the room. Jim was resting against the pillows one hand holding a mug. His face lit up when he saw T’Kar, “Good morning!” Then he looked up into her face and put the mug down on the table, “or perhaps not. What the hell happened to you?”

T’Kar shook her head, “Just a rough night, that’s all. I have them sometimes.”

“Can she have a coffee with me?” Kirk looked up at Dr. M’Benga.

“I was hoping you’d ask that,” Jabilo replied, a smile breaking out across the broad face, “maybe you can persuade her to have some breakfast too.”

“I have had breakfast!” T’Kar protested, “I just didn’t fancy very much.”

“What did you have?” Kirk asked softly.

“A piece of kreila and a cup of Vulcan coffee,” she replied, “I couldn’t face anything else.”

“Is it this procedure?” he smiled.

“Partly,” she lied, “but I have other things which concern me.”

“In other words she’s worried but she won’t admit it,” McCoy had just entered the room and Jim saw T’Kar turn and a half-smile touch her lips before she shook her head,

“Worry is a human emotion, Doctor.”

“So?” Leonard raised an eyebrow, “if you do not worry then something concerns you – or is that a human emotion too?”

T’Kar sighed, “I am not worried Doctor, my thoughts are merely concerned with the Captain and of course the boxes that my mother left with S’Jenes.”

“Well, you’ve convinced you – now convince me,” McCoy responded, “if you can.”

T’Kar opened her mouth and then thought better of it.

“Good,” McCoy replied, watching her eyes carefully, “I’ll get you a mug of something to keep you going.” He turned to Jim, “Watch her.”

“He doesn’t trust you,” Kirk surveyed her quietly.

“Not to look after herself, no,” McCoy replied, he put the mug in front of her and said, “Drink.”

T’Kar looked down at the contents of the mug, “What is it?”

“A high protein vanilla-flavoured drink,” he replied.

Reluctantly she picked up the mug and took a sip finding it fairly palatable if a little bland. Kirk eyed her thoughtfully as he sipped his own coffee,

“Whatever it is, if it’s preying on your mind, you know you could come and talk to myself or Dr. McCoy about it if it’s worrying you. Or even Dr. M’Benga. You’re not alone.”

T’Kar looked up from her mug to stare into kind hazel eyes, “I appreciate that, Captain,” she said slowly, and thought, No, I’m afraid that I couldn’t tell you about this – or I don’t know when I’ll be able to tell you about this. Finding a strength she didn’t know she possessed she nodded quickly, “Thanks. I’ll think about it.”

Jim watched her as she drank from the mug Bones had set in front of her. She did look washed out and he wondered how he could get her to open up. Not something any Vulcan is good at doing, he thoughtruefully. Changing the subject he said, “So we’re going to try the feromazone again today? Do you think it’ll work this time?”

T’Kar surveyed him quietly and then raised an eyebrow in a gesture that was so reminiscent of Spock that it almost made him choke on his coffee.

He smiled and said, “And what is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that this is possible, Captain.”

“But you have misgivings,” Kirk looked thoughtful, “would you care to share your thoughts with me?”

“Oh I have misgivings about lots of medical procedures,” T’Kar responded, trying to lighten the subject, “this is just one of them.”

“Why?” he frowned and for one heartstopping moment she wanted to take both of his hands in her own and tell him everything that had been happening to her but instead she swallowed and said, “I don’t like things where the odds are too difficult to calculate.”

“And my odds are too difficult to calculate?” he eyed her.

“One could argue that with humans the odds are always too difficult to calculate,” another voice spoke and T’Kar saw Jim’s face light up, “Spock! I thought you were coming up this afternoon!”

“Dr. McCoy asked me if I would come and see the Captain this morning,” Spock replied, “he will be here for the procedure but he felt that Captain Kirk would appreciate the visit.”

She turned and for the briefest moment thought she caught a flicker of a smile on Spock’s lips. Then she turned back to Kirk and saw the relief in his eyes and his body, Such strength and power, she thought, dumbfounded, such joy in one another’s company. Gods, how can they not know? She swallowedthe last of the protein drink and stood up, “Spock, I’ll leave you two to talk.” I need to get out of here now! She thought frantically.

Once in the corridor she smoothed down the front of her uniform, trying to maintain some semblance of Vulcan control when it felt as though her brain was going to come apart. She heard a muffled curse and turned to look at McCoy, “Leonard,” she murmured, grateful beyond all reason it was him who had found her and not M’Benga.

She was only half-aware of the next ten minutes, gradually she came to herself. She was sitting in one of the treatment rooms, McCoy’s hand on her arm. She blinked and his face came into focus, she noticed that there were beads of sweat on his forehead reminding her of tiny little blisters.

“Are you back with me?” McCoy asked softly, “you’ve been somewhere else for the last fifteen minutes.”

She closed her eyes and nodded, “I must apologise. I did not sleep well last night.”

“No that’s not the reason,” McCoy shook his head, “you forget, I can sense your emotions. They’re running almost as high as when you were experiencing pon farr. Can you tell me what happened?”

“The control is becoming harder to maintain,” T’Kar opened her eyes and looked at him, “and when Spock entered the Captain’s room it was like being held between two immensely powerful creatures. Would you be offended if I said that you love one another?”

McCoy blinked and then shook his head, “I don’t think so. You can feel that?”

“From all three of you – and especially Spock just now. You three form a triumvirate, three powerful individuals-” She looked down at McCoy’s hand resting on her arm, “who dominate the bridge of the Enterprise. A better way to describe you would be that of an equilateral triangle – and you all love one another. I could feel it boiling off Spock when he entered the Captain’s room, and his joy at seeing Spock was indescribable.” She sighed, “I’m not explaining it very well am I?”

“Something’s eating at you,” McCoy replied, when she opened her mouth to protest he shook his head, “You can’t fool me, T’Kar. Remember? I know you don’t feel that you can talk to anyone but I want your word that if you start to feel overwhelmed by the situation you won’t go running off into the desert – come and talk to someone – do I have your promise?”

“Jim said that,” T’Kar sighed. “We need to get him well Leonard – I told you – all three of you are important and if we lose that then we lose the future.”

“Are you so sure that this is a good thing,” McCoy asked, “you say that when people mention the name of the Enterprise they will speak of us in the same breath butthey may speak of us as they spoke of Kodos the Executioner.”

“No, I might have thought that two days ago but no longer. It is still not certain, but you will not disgrace the uniform.” T’Kar raised an eyebrow and McCoy chuckled, she shook her head firmly and continued, “You will shine in glory and everyone will know your names.” She swallowed again, “but as I said before the future is a fluid animal and can change on a coin spin.”

McCoy gently released her arm and for a moment she wished that he was still holding her and then he smiled, “I’m going to give you a shot of something to counteract the readings I’m getting. I want you here for the procedure but then I want you to go home and rest – once the drug wears off you’ll be exhausted anyway.”

Reluctantly T’Kar nodded and watched as McCoy pressed the hypospray against her arm. Within five minutes her heart rate and metabolism had settled down and her breathing had eased. McCoy eyed her thoughtfully and said, “Remember what I told you? After the procedure, you’re to go home and rest. I need you with me on this.”

“All right,” T’Kar nodded again and this time Bones smiled, “Good, now you’d better trip along to the Captain, he may not be an empath but he’s pretty good at picking up body language too.”

“‘Trip along’?” she raised a perfect dark eyebrow again and Bones had to suppress a smile, “it means to ‘get moving’. When she slipped into the treatment room Dr. M’Benga was just giving him the relaxant. Spock was standing against the wall and T’Kar thought she could just detect an undercurrent of tension in the air. Jabilo turned and smiled, “Ah, T’Kar, I was wondering where you’d got to. Are you ready?”

As I’ll ever be, she thought, but replied, “As always,Doctor.”

She sat down on the stool next to the biobed and again he sought her hand, she felt his fingers, cool on her wrist as he sought comfort in her contact. She looked up briefly and for a split second saw the look of shock in Spock’s eyes before the impassive Vulcan reserve was restored again.

She looked down at the Captain again, “Hey, feeling sleepy?” she asked softly.

Kirk half-opened his eyes, “A bit, feel a bit sick actually.”

“That’s probably just nerves,” T’Kar replied, unaware of the eyes watching her she gently stroked his forehead,

“It’ll be all right, I’m here and you know I won’t let anything happen to you.”

If Spock had been perturbed by T’Kar holding hands with the Captain, her behaviour now left him flabbergasted. Vulcans did not touch! It wasn’t that they weren’t emotional beings whatever anyone said, it was merely centuries, millennia of practices had enabled them to divorce their emotions from the situation at hand. Therefore they could look at a situation dispassionately and choose a path that depended on logic not on emotion.

Whatever humans might think it was never that Vulcans did not subscribe to emotions, merely that they chose not to allow their emotions to govern their course of action. Plus having some telepathic ability often meant that touch left them open to the emotions of others which if unguarded could be dangerous to the Vulcan mind. Swallowing hard, Spock gazed at the young woman he thought of as a sister and wondered at her actions.

Kirk managed a sleepy smile, “You always know the right thing to say.” He murmured, “Promise you’ll stay?”

T’Kar nodded, her throat suddenly closing up on her, she looked up at Spock standing against the wall and despite his self-control suddenly felt the wave of consternation emanating from him, What the- she thought, This is Spock, the most self-controlled Vulcan I have ever met – how- Then the man lying on the bed smiled up ather and then all her being was centred on him.

She was gently stroking the back of his hand with her thumb when Dr. M’Benga entered the room carrying the latest dose of the drug. T’Kar felt him tense and leant over him, “What’s the matter?” she asked softly.

“I-I-” he began and his eyes flicked towards M’Benga holding the hypospray.

“Take some nice deep breaths, James,” she advised, her hand resting on his head, she could feel the terror building in him although she couldn’t pinpoint the source, what she didn’t see was for an instant, a look of shock replace Spock’s stoic mask as he saw T’Kar rest her hand on his Captain’s head.

T’Kar looked across at Dr. M’Benga and shook her head quickly. To her surprise and secret delight he nodded, she looked up at Spock and their eyes met, and she had a feeling that everything between them had suddenly changed in an instant.

Kirk’s breathing eased and his eyes half-opened again, “Sorry,” he muttered, “I feel torn – I want to find out, but I’m – I’m afraid-”

“I know,” T’Kar replied, her hand gently stroking his head, “If you don’t want to continue we won’t today. This has to be your decision.”

“Mmm,” he half-smiled, “that feels nice. Feel a bit better, thanks.”

Despite everything she smiled, shocking the Vulcan standing against the wall even more, “Good. Shall we proceed or do you want to leave it? We can do it another day if you wish.”

To her surprise Kirk shook his head, “No, I want to find out. You promise to stay, whatever happens?”

“I promise to stay,” she said.

To her surprise M’Benga deferred to her saying, “Ready, T’Kar?”

She smiled down at Kirk, “Are you absolutely sure, Jim?”

“Yes,” his eyes closed again but she felt him squeeze her hand.

“We’re ready, Doctor.”

“Jabilo,” he corrected smiling, pressing the hypospray to Kirk’s neck. Within minutes Kirk’s face had relaxed again into boyish youthfulness and Jabilo was selecting the questions. They started with the same procedure as before only this time M’Benga had added another element.

“Jim, do you know who I am?” he asked.

“Dr. M’Benga,” came the soft reply.

“And do you know who’s holding your hand?”


“That’s good, Jim. Now remember you’re perfectly safe here, nothing can harm you, all right?”

He nodded sleepily and again T’Kar felt a wave of terror almost overwhelm her.

“All right. Jim, I want you to go back to your last mission, you’re standing on the planet. Do you remember, you were standing in front of The Guardian of Forever, can you tell me what happened next?”

“We were looking for Bones, he’d injected himself with cordrazine. Beamed down to the planet-”

M’Benga nodded, and made a note on his PADD that it tallied with what he’d said under the influence of the feromazone the last time and that he’d retained the knowledge without trauma which was a good sign. T’Kar knew that if he’d retained that knowledge there was a possibility that he could remember what else had occurred and be able to come to terms with whatever had caused the amnesia in the first place.

She gently stroked the back of his hand with her thumb again, his hand holding onto hers as if for dear life.

“Easy, James, easy.” She murmured, “it’ll be all right.”

M’Benga flicked a quick look at her and cleared his throat, T’Kar blushed, an emerald flush creeping up her cheeks and then she bit her lip.

“What happened next, Jim?” He asked.

“We were scanning the area, seemed to be a long dead civilization and then McCoy appeared from nowhere. Spock and I tried to tackle him – missed and he jumped through – through the gateway and then-then-” he twisted on the biobed and M’Benga suddenly swore as all the readings suddenly jumped, “My ship – Enterprise – gone! History changed! No!”

T’Kar gasped as her whole being was suddenly swamped with despair. Fighting to regain control she took a deep breath and tried to soothe the overwhelming emotions flowing from him. She must have partly succeeded as Jim settled onto the bed and the fluctuating readings steadied. At some point McCoy must have entered the room because she caught sight of him, suddenly standing at Jabilo’s shoulder, murmuring something, she caught snatches of their conversation, “…don’t like those readings…ask another question….can we risk it…”

They appeared to reach some sort of agreement and then M’Benga was bending over his PADD again. He swallowed convulsively and T’Kar saw the sweat gleaming on his dark skin, in the hollow at the base of his neck, he looked at her out of the corner of his eye and she nodded quickly, and then to reassure him that she was all right she raised her left hand giving him the ‘thumbs up’ signal again. He nodded again to acknowledge it and cleared his throat.

“Jim, what happened after that?” he asked gently.

“Guardian – Guardian spoke to us – McCoy changed history – jumped through time gate. Enterprise - Enterprise no longer exists-” Kirk moaned and clutched T’Kar’s hand as if it was a lifeline.

“All right, Jim. What did you do?”

Ended up in New York – 1930 – met, met- Nooo!” Kirk twisted again and this time T’Kar could see the tears running down his face, “I can’t – I can’t – she didn’t deserve to die – Edith!” His body arched and M’Benga watched in horror as Captain Kirk suddenly went into cardiac arrest.

T’Kar blanched and looked up, 1930? Edith? She dropped Kirk’s hand and her hands shaking tried to find the points on Kirk’s face for the Vulcan Mind Meld. He was drowning in a pit of despair, sinking back into darkness and this time she could do nothing to bring him back….

Strong hands were around hers putting her fingers on Jim’s face to establish a mind-meld and she half-turned to see Spock standing behind her, then one of his hands was on the side of her head seeking psionic points known only to him, and the other one was on her shoulder, “Bring him back,” he said quietly in her ear and she felt renewed strength run through her.

Barely aware of the two doctors on the other side of the biobed, T’Kar felt hers and Spock’s consciousness drop into Kirk’s. James, I’m here, she thought as she fell.

T’hy’la she heard Spock say and the love in his voicethat he would never openly declare to his human friend reverberated through her. It was so powerful and strong it was a wonder that Jim could not know about it.

Suddenly they seemed to be standing in an Iowa cornfield again and T’Kar had to suppress a smile, he was standing in front of her, You come here often in your dreams.

He turned and she could see the distress on his face, I only remember her name, but I can’t remember anything else.

Spock was standing next to her and she half-turned to see him as he was, all Vulcan stoicism stripped away, he blazed like a fireball and she had to turn her face away or be burnt to a cinder. Brother, his voice left echoes in her mind and for a moment she wondered how he saw her. Another image flitted through her head and she saw a flock of Teresh-ka and wondered where or who the images were coming from. Then she was stepping forward to take Jim’s hands in her own.

Remember her name, she smiled, there is nothing to be ashamed of in that. Come back to us James. We love you. And then she spoke the word that had stayed in her memory since she had healed him the first time, T’hy’la.

A half –smile touched his lips and then he was in her arms sobbing like a child, she held him, her hands on his head and his neck, Whatever happened there is no shame involved. She assured him, All you need to remember is her name and that you loved her, when the rest needs to come it will.

McCoy eyed Spock and T’Kar; they had been standing like statues for almost twenty minutes. They’d managed to stabilise the Captain but his life signs were still dangerously low. He eyed them both, T’Kar was dangerously pale even for a Vulcan and running a tricorder over Spock he could see that the healing was draining him also.

He eyed them both thoughtfully and wondered when he should stop them. Then Kirk’s life signs stabilised and he opened his eyes. T’Kar took a deep breath and opening her eyes stared down into Kirk’s. Spock removed his hand from her forehead and also taking a deep breath, he touched the back of his first and index fingers to Kirk’s temple, T’hy’la. He thought softly, the memory of his presence still strong within the meld and knew that Jim had heard him.

Kirk half-smiled and then T’Kar moved her hands and gently stroked his left temple with the back of the fingers of her right hand. He managed a weary smile, “That’s twice you’ve brought me back – I owe you.”

M’Benga looked at the biobed readings and closed his eyes in relief, “We were lucky,” he said slowly.

“Extraordinarily so,” T’Kar replied, turning to glance at Spock.

Jabilo smiled, “Do you remember anything this time, Jim?”

Kirk managed a wan smile, “A bit, Spock and I jumped through the Guardian of Forever to try and prevent a disaster. I remember a woman, her name was Edith but something terrible happened to her and I think I was involved-”

T’Kar smiled, “Don’t worry about that now, you need to sleep – no bad dreams I promise.”

He nodded sleepily and closing his eyes drifted into slumber.

McCoy swallowed and said thickly, “We can’t use this drug again.”

“No,” T’Kar agreed, “but we may not need to.”

“I think you may have some explaining to do,” Spock said slowly, “you have skills and abilities I have never seen.”

“I knew it would come to this sooner or later,” T’Kar managed a rueful smile, “I am glad you now know – I hated having to keep this secret from you.”

“So, what exactly are you?” M’Benga asked, “and how did you do that?”

“Well the residue of my last healing helped,” T’Kar explained, “I am that mythical being that Spock told you of, although I have not undertaken Kahinar.”

“You’re a Shatry’a!” Spock said slowly and she thought she detected a sense of wonder in his eyes.

“Let’s get the Captain to bed and when he’s comfortable I’ll explain everything,” T’Kar promised.

McCoy nodded and said, “You two go and get something to eat, Jabilo and I will join you in the hospital’s restaurant.”

Spock brought her a Vulcan coffee and sat opposite her. T’Kar raised her eyes to look at him, she wanted to say so many things but wasn’t sure where to start, “I am curious,” he said slowly, “when did you know?”

“About four years ago I was called to my first meeting with the Shatry’a.” T’Kar replied, “somewhere beyond the l-langon mountains.”

“She told you that this would happen?” Spock sipped his own drink and T’Kar had the feeling that he wished it was something stronger than coffee.

“Not exactly,” T’Kar sipped her own drink and wished that it was something stronger. “She told me that I might be the next Shatry’a and that she would know soon whether I was the correct choice.”

“And are you?”

“I do not know,” T’Kar replied, “I only know what happened on the night Captain Kirk was brought to the hospital at ShiKahr. After that things have become somewhat complicated.”

“How so?”

“Somehow, something erupted from me to save the Captain’s life. Then I went out into the desert to think-”

“You found Dr. McCoy the night he went walking in the desert,” Spock said slowly, his dark eyes thoughtful, “didn’t you?”

T’Kar nodded, she waited for him to say something else but he remained silent, “You acted quickly to save the Captain.”

“Thanks to your quick thinking.” T’Kar replied, “and I may have done more damage.”

“You denigrate yourself with no reason,” Spock replied, he steepled his hands in front of him, “Your power grows.”

How do you know? She opened her mouth to ask butswallowed and said, “It would seem so. Maybe it was always this strong.”

“I do not think so,” Spock replied, “I should imagine that you are finding it hard to maintain control. I would be happy to assist you and help you with some more advanced meditation techniques.”

“I should be glad of that,” T’Kar replied.

Dr. M’Benga and Dr. McCoy walked across to them and eased themselves into chairs, T’Kar eyed them both thoughtfully, both men looked utterly exhausted. Spock ordered drinks and then they sat waiting for them to recover, finally M’Benga looked up into T’Kar’s face, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but how the hell did you do what you just did?”

“She’s a Shatry’u,” McCoy said softly, he held out his fingers and as an olive flush crept up her cheeks, T’Kar touched hers to his, “And I believe that once she has ascended-” he looked across at her and at her nod continued, “she will be able to command the power of the universe.”

“I would say that her powers are pretty awesome at the moment,” M’Benga said, sipping his coffee. “I’ve never seen anything like that in my life.”

“And you may never see the like again,” Spock said slowly, “I am privileged to have been here to see a new one.”

McCoy nodded and T’Kar lifted her fingers, “I don’t know that you’re seeing one now,” she said quietly, “nothing is set in stone, not even my Destiny.” She closed her eyes suddenly feeling a wave of weariness wash over her.

“Come on,” McCoy said, getting to his feet, “I think we need to get you to bed.”

“Can we not put a cot up in Captain Kirk’s room?” M’Benga asked, “I think he would rest better if he woke up and saw her.”

McCoy nodded, “All right. Come on, Sweetheart, I know you Vulcans are stronger than humans but you still need your rest.”

Sweetheart? She frowned but allowed McCoy to escorther from the café. Another bed had been placed in Captain Kirk’s room and T’Kar looked at the cool crisp sheets with something resembling envy.

“I’ll get some pyjamas,” Dr. M’Benga said quickly, “I’m sure that one physician is enough to give you a dressing down.”

T’Kar turned to him and Spock and sighed, “I suppose this is as good a time as any to apologise.”

The impassive expression on Spock’s face did not change but he replied, “Perhaps. Your control over your emotions is well-maintained, even from other Vulcans. Perhaps it is your behaviour that you must guard – however you are still young and as such may need time to grow.”

T’Kar nodded her dark eyes thoughtful, “I find it hard to meld the two, Spock, it was easier before all this started.”

“I understand that,” Spock replied, “I will begin to show you these techniques tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” T’Kar replied, hoping that she wasn’t showing too much emotion.

The door opened and M’Benga entered again, this time carrying what looked like bedclothes, T’Kar regarded them silently and he said, “At least it’s not a surgical gown.”

She took the bundle and then said, “Could I have the lecture now, then I’ll get changed and I promise that I’ll go to sleep.”

McCoy nodded, “All right. You know what I want you to do, get some rest, don’t worry about anything. Don’t go and dance beneath the moon.”

For once T’Kar managed to maintain her composure. “Very well, Leonard.”

Surprising her he bent forward and gently kissed her lips, “Are you going all Vulcan on me?”

“I should make the attempt while Spock is around,” she explained, “you saw how concerned he was in the treatment room. I could feel the waves of consternation boiling off him.”

McCoy nodded, “I have your word you won’t go into the desert. I know that you’re afraid – after what happened today I’m surprised you’re not sobbing your heart out in a corner.”

“Would you be?” T’Kar asked quickly looking up at him.

McCoy shook his head, “I’d be in my quarters with a bottle of Romulan Ale, trying to get drunk and not succeeding.”

She smiled wanly at him, “Or perhaps you just wouldn’t be sleeping. I can imagine you pacing Sickbay like a caged tiger.”

McCoy nodded, “I still maintain that you’re all repressed and that the release of emotions is a healthy and necessary thing to keep you sane.”

Kirk shifted on the bed and they both stiffened unwilling to wake the sleeping man. Then McCoy nodded to her, “Get changed and get some sleep. There’ll be lots of time to discuss things tomorrow.”

“All right,” T’Kar nodded and then McCoy slipped out of the room. Quickly she pulled her uniform off and changed into the pyjamas. Pulling the sheet back she climbed onto the bed and put her head on the pillow. Within moments she was asleep.

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