Breathe

Waking

The Professor looked at Caspian grimly. "We need to talk privately." Caspian nodded his head and followed the Professor to the library. Caspian felt a lump in his throat. He didn't know what was wrong. The Professor stopped in the middle of two bookshelves that were far back.

The Professor sighed heavily and said, "It looks like Queen Susan is going to pull through. She's a strong woman."

Caspian let out a sigh of relief and hugged him. He laughed and asked, "Why did you want to speak privately?"

The Professor shook his head sadly, "Eventually, in time, her external wounds will heal. But her internal wounds may never heal. She will still have those memories."

Caspian nodded his head in understanding. "So what should I do?"

The Professor said, "I know you love her Caspian. Just give her some room to herself. Showing her affection by touch might set triggers of Demeterius. Only do things she wants to do."

Caspian asked, "Will her brothers be a trigger as well?"

The Professor sighed again and said, "They might set her off as well. She knows that none of you want to hurt her physically or emotionally, but memories might go off in her brain."

Caspian bit his bottom lip. That King did horrible things to Susan. "Thank you Professor for telling me this. I want Susan to feel comfortable no matter what."

The next morning, everyone went to breakfast except Susan. They were happy to actually eat something other than bread. Peter wanted to do something. Something to make everyone less dreary. "I'm going for a ride after breakfast. Does anyone want to join me?"

Lucy nodded her head. "I think I do. I want to get away from all of this."

Edmund looked at Peter and replied, "Yes I agree with Lucy."

They looked at Caspian, who was stuffing a piece of toast in his mouth, and he said "I don't think I want to. I have to help the army pack up their tents."

Frederick spoke up, "I would really love a ride."

After breakfast, Edmund, Lucy, Peter, and Frederick went on their ride. Caspian went to the healing room to check on Susan. He held her hand to reassure himself. He spoke as if she were still awake, "I'm sorry I let this happen to you. I love you." He put his head on her heart and heard it beating.

He closed his eyes and just listened to sound of her heart. He smiled while he listened and said, "You know Ed vomited yesterday. The Professor pulled out a needle." He felt Susan's heart beat faster.

Susan was half awake and heard the Spanish accent she loved. She thought she was in heaven. Then she thought you don't feel pain in heaven. She felt sore everywhere. Her stomach and right leg hurt worse. She felt as if her leg was numb. She felt something on her chest and remembered Demeterius.

The last thing she saw was him on top of her. She thought what if her family was really dead and this was Demeterius on top of her? She screamed as loud as she possibly could so someone could possibly hear her. Someone could save her.

She felt the heavy thing on her chest get off. She heard the Spanish accent; she thought she was hallucinating it. She screamed again and this time opened her eyes. She squinted her eyes at the windows to her right. She saw a figure standing in that direction.

Susan looked at him closely, and he had a frightened look on his face. She knew that face from anywhere. She croaked out, "Caspian? Is that you? Are you alive? Where am I?"

Caspian sighed of relief and said, "I'm sorry I startled you. I am alive, and we made it back to Cair Paravel."

Susan pulled her eyebrows together. She was trying to fit the puzzle pieces together. "We? Meaning everyone's alive?"

Caspian smiled and sat on the edge of her bed taking her hand. "Everyone is alive. They're riding around on the paths of Narnia."

Susan smiled and said, "I want to go outside for a ride."

Caspian laughed looking at her sparkling eyes. "You must be strong if you want to go for a ride in the condition you're in."

Susan sighed heavily as if something were bothering her. "That would be my next question. Why do my leg and stomach hurt so much?"

Caspian squeezed her hand tighter. "Your leg is broken, and you have stiches in your stomach." Susan though back on the memory of Demeterius crushing her leg and shuddered. She shuddered again and felt tears well in her eyes from the memory of Demeterius cutting her stomach open.

Caspian saw the scared look in her eyes and said, "I'm sorry I brought the memory back."

Susan shook her head and said, "I should stop thinking in the past. What happened yesterday?"

Caspian laughed knowing Susan would hearing the story. "Well Ed vomited on the floor outside of this room. Apparently, he doesn't like needles."

Susan smiled and said, "Of course he doesn't. Mum would give him shots, and he would get sick." She laughed at the memories.

Caspian smiled. He loved Susan's laugh. He couldn't escape her eyes. "I'm glad you're happy."

Susan asked, "Why shouldn't I be happy? We escaped and all lived; and right now I'm with the real person I love."

Caspian gave a perfect handsome smile. It made Susan's knees wobble. Susan said, "I'll never know why I go weak at the knees when you smile, King Caspian."

Caspian laughed and started to stand up. "I have to go help the army."

Caspian started walking away and Susan grabbed his wrist. She looked at him and said, "Don't go." She gave him a puppy dog look and pouted her lip.

He laughed and said, "Not the face."

Susan continued with the face. "I'll keep giving it to you until you stay."

Caspian playfully rolled his eyes and asked teasingly, "Are you sure you're gentle I think you're more stubborn."

Susan smiled and said poking his nose, "One of the many things you love about me."

Caspian smiled sitting back down on the bed. "Tell the army I was at an important meeting."

Susan mimicked his smile. "Don't worry. I'm a pretty good liar."

Caspian laughed wholeheartedly. "Yes I think your blushing really does convince people."

Susan smiled and weakly punched his chest and said, "Oh hush. Like you're any better at lying."

Caspian laughed and said taking it as a challenge, "Okay I'll lie to you right now."

Susan edged on the challenge. "Fine go ahead, show me what you got."

Caspian had a serious voice and said, "I love Queen Susan."

Susan pulled her mouth into a smile and said, "That was not a lie."

Caspian pulled his eyebrows together and asked, "Was it a lie? Or was it not a lie?" He smiled playfully, and Susan punched him in the same place weakly again.

Susan crossed her arms. "Seriously, I want you to lie. You got yourself into this."

Caspian grabbed Susan's hand and said with all seriousness," I thought Peter was a girl for the longest time." Susan looked into his eyes and then Caspian burst into laughter. Susan did as well and then groaned like she was in pain.

Caspian stopped laughing immediately and asked, "What's wrong where do you hurt?" He leaned in close to Susan inches away from her face.

Susan looked into his dark brown eyes and said, "Nothing is wrong, it's just my stomach hurts if I laugh too hard."

Caspian nodded his head and looked into Susan's light blue eyes. He said, "I haven't seen your eyes this alive since the ball."

Susan grinned and leaned in to kiss Caspian. Before their lips touched Susan pulled away. She had a memory of Demeterius on top of her and kissing her. She said, "Sorry I'm…I'm..just.."

Caspian cut her off by saying, "It's fine I understand. I'll only kiss you if you're ready for it."

Susan kissed his cheek and jerked her head away. She said, "I've never met a man that's understood my feelings. They just want me to do things with them."

Caspian smiled. He didn't dare let go of her hand. "I'm your man, and I will be supportive of you no matter what."

Susan smiled at him and tried to change the subject by saying, "Okay tell me something you've never told me."

Caspian thought for a moment. He started to feel happy seeing a memory envision in his head. "I learned how to use a sword before I knew the alphabet." Susan laughed and pictured a baby Caspian running around in a diaper with a sword in his hand.

She said impressed, "Really what did your mother think?"

Caspian looked at his hands and Susan said, "Well, did you know I would always be jealous of Lucy for the longest time?"

Caspian asked starting to forget about his mother, "Really why?"

Susan said, "Well for a while, I was the little girl of the family, and I got away with things until Lucy was born. She was then the little girl, and if something happened to her Ed would blame me. Since I was older than him, they believed him. I would always get into trouble because of Lucy."

Caspian laughed and said, "Well look at the two of you now."

Susan smirked and said "You couldn't tell anything ever happened."

Someone knocked on the door of Susan's room and Caspian yelled, "Come In!"

A centaur came in and bowed to the two. "King Caspian you said you would come help us."

Caspian looked at Susan, and Susan said, "Caspian's at an important meeting." The centaur looked confused and Caspian laughed. Susan started to turn red.

While Caspian was laughing, he pointed at Susan and said, "There you go, there's the blush that's convincing." Caspian stopped laughing and look at the centaur. "I'll be there in a second Uriah."

Uriah walked out of the room and closed the door. Susan said, "I think you should go. Your army needs you King Caspian."

Before Caspian got up from Susan's bed, Susan grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled his lips to hers. His lips felt compassionate and warm. Susan pulled away and had a look of fear on her face. Susan made it go away when Caspian got off of her bed. Susan said pouting her lips, "Don't take too long."

Caspian said, "You know I won't." Before Caspian opened the door, he turned around to look at the beautiful woman on the bed and said, "I love you."

Susan smiled back at him and said, "I love you too." Caspian walked out of the room and headed for the beach with a giddy smile on his face.

When Caspian left, Susan's smile faded. She kept having memories of Demeterius on top of her doing things. She tried to fall asleep but kept dreaming about Demeterius and her family. She wanted Caspian to come back.

One of them was Demeterius kissing her neck and making her watch her family being hanged. Another one was Demeterius untying the strings on her corset and pulling up her dress. Another one was Autumn and Caspian kissing, Demeterius forcing her to kiss him, and Demeterius kept telling her Caspian doesn't love her and never will love her.

Susan was put back into reality when she heard a knock at the door. She said, "Come in." Lucy and Peter came in with big smiles on their faces. Susan smiled back at them, and Peter said, "It was about time you woke up sleepy head."

Susan asked, "So how was the ride this morning?"

Peter said while looking out the windows, "Well it was canceled early because of the storm that's going on outside right now."

Susan looked out the window and noticed the pouring rain. Lucy said, "Maybe it was a good thing it started raining because we got to come see you."

She saw a flash of lightning and asked, "Where's Ed?"

Peter said, "He's helping the army clean up with Caspian."

Susan said worriedly, "They're both out there in the pouring rain?"

Peter said "Yes, we ran into Caspian when we were on our way to see you. He had a pretty big smile considering the condition you're in."

Susan blushed looking out the window and said, "Well we talked for a while."

Peter pulled his eyebrows together and crossed his arms over his chest."Talked?"

Susan smiled and said looking back at him, "Yes we talked. Is there anything wrong with that?"

Peter shook his head getting off of the topic. "I'm glad you're okay Susan." Peter hugged Susan. She groaned in pain as a result, and Peter pulled away. He said automatically, "Sorry."

Susan said, "You don't need to be sorry it's a good kind of pain."

Peter looked outside the window and sighed. "I better go see if they need help it looks bad out there." He walked out of the room and closed the door.

Susan looked at Lucy and asked "How bad is it outside?"

Lucy went to the window and said, "The ocean water is coming onto the tents. Oh that was a big wave. A few men fell from that impact."

Susan thought of Caspian falling over and imagined him laughing. She imagined him having a great time with the ocean water splashing over him. She was worried about him though and asked, "Do you see Ed or Caspian?"

Lucy squinted her eyes out the window and said, "I can't see it is pretty dark with the clouds and everyone looks like ants."

Susan looked at Lucy and asked, "So how was the ride? What did my family do without me?"

Lucy smiled and said sarcastically, "We had so much fun without you there Susan."

Susan laughed in a mocking way and said, "Very funny Lucy….but tell me what happened?"

Lucy looked at Susan and said, "Well Peter and Edmund were in front of me and Frederick. Frederick and I were talking, and he's really nice and funny. I think I like him a little Susan. I just don't know if he feels the same way about me."

Susan blurted out, "Well just kiss him, leave him for a year with your feelings confused, then come back, and he'll tell you he loves you."

Lucy giggled covering her mouth with her hand and said, "You're love life is complicated Susan."

Susan smiled and said, "Guilty."

Lucy looked at the ground. "He told me about his family, and his dad beats him."

Susan looked at Lucy sympathetically and said, "Well all you do is be there for him in any way you can. That's how I reacted when Caspian told me more about his father. Also if he looks upset or uncomfortable just change the subject."

Lucy looked at Susan gratefully and said, "I think I'll take that advice into consideration." Lucy paused for a second and asked, "Susan are you okay not physically but emotionally."

Susan looked at her hands that were trembling. She thought to herself I can't just lie to my sister. She looked up at Lucy and said, "I keep having dreams about Demeterius and him doing horrible things to me. My memories also keep coming back like the feeling of Demeterius on top of me." She shuddered at the memory in her head and said "When Caspian and I become intimate like hug or kiss each other it makes me think of…Demeterius."

Lucy saw the hurt on Susan's face. She took Susan's hand. "It will be okay Susan. Everything is over and soon all of these dreams and memories will stop."

Lucy pulled Susan into a hug and Susan said, "Thank you and don't tell Caspian or our brothers. They'll become over-protective and rethink everything they do."

Lucy nodded her head and said, "I promise I won't tell."

Susan asked gesturing to the window, "What does it look like outside now?"

Lucy ran to the window and said, "There's one tent left….oh here comes another big wave. It knocked about ten men down."

Lucy laughed and Susan said, "I wish one of those men are Caspian, then I can make fun of him."

A few minutes later Lucy said, "They took the tent down. Wow that lightning is bright." There was a huge clap of thunder that made Susan and Lucy jump. They both looked at each other and laughed. Lucy said, "I think I'm going to go check up on Frederick and his arrangements."

Susan waved her finger at her. "Don't have too much fun..you know Peter won't stand for it."

Susan laughed and Lucy blushed saying, "I'll see you later, Su."

About five minutes later, Susan heard her door open, and it was a soaked Caspian. Susan laughed and said, "You're drenched Caspian."

Caspian smiled and asked "Did I take too long Susan?"

Susan looked him up and down. "Too long for my standards. How was it out there during the storm?"

Caspian said, "I haven't seen a storm this big in a while. The waves were crashing in on us. I was actually having fun."

Susan asked sarcastically, "You had fun without me?"

Caspian laughed and said in a playful way "Why of course I was."

Susan and Caspian laughed and Susan asked with a raised eyebrow, "Did any of those waves take you down?"

Caspian said, "Only two waves. They were strong some almost took some men out to sea with them."

Susan nodded her head in unison with her words. "Wow, the mighty King Caspian had his day ruined by two ocean waves."

Caspian smiled and said "Guilty."

Susan giggled. "We are very much alike."

Caspian laughed and said, "I didn't know we were."

Susan started to think of the thought of walking. "I wish I could have been down there with you….I miss the ocean."

Caspian looked at Susan with sympathetic eyes and said, "I'm sorry. I wish you could've been there with me too. We would've had fun falling from the waves together."

Susan laughed and said, "I'm pretty sure I could've been standing the entire time."

Caspian said playfully, "You're so sure of yourself."

Caspian sat down on the corner of Susan's bed, and Susan scolded, "Hey get off of my bed your wet. I don't want to be wet."

Caspian looked at Susan and asked playfully, "You don't want to be wet?"

Caspian moved closer to Susan and gave her a hug. He shook his hair around so it would get her wet. Susan was laughing and saying, "Stop." playfully. She was getting wet, and she didn't really care. She was they were becoming close with one another. He nuzzled his face into her neck. He kissed the bottom of her jaw line. Susan snapped up and said seriously "Stop." Caspian knew he was going too far and stood up from her bed.

Caspian said rubbing the back of his neck, "Sorry. I should go."

Susan shook her head and grabbed his arm and said seriously, "Don't go. You keep my nightmares away."

Caspian said, "Okay just let me get a chair." He got a chair and set it next to Susan's bed.

Susan looked out the window. "It's a beautiful night. I wish I could see the stars."

Caspian said, "You will sometime when you can walk again. So when your leg heals, you have something to look forward to."

Caspian held Susan's hand and said, "You need your rest Susan." A few hours later, Caspian fell asleep. Susan felt her eyes get droopy and felt save with Caspian holding her hand.

She heard the door open, and it was Peter. Susan pretended to be asleep so he wouldn't yell at her. Peter went to Caspian and whispered angrily at him, "Were you going to spend the night with my sister?"

Caspian's eyes fluttered open and said in a quiet voice, "Sorry Peter. She told me to stay with her when she fell asleep."

Peter's eyes looked at Susan, and he became less tense looking at Susan's body. He whispered, "I'll be with her tonight, Caspian. You can sleep in your own bedroom."

Before Caspian walked out, he said looking down at Susan, "I know you're just pretending to be asleep Susan. I'll see you in the morning." Then he walked out of the room.

Susan smiled knowing that Caspian knew she was pretending. She opened her eyes and looked at Peter who gave her an angry look. Susan said, "I don't feel like getting in a fight Peter I just want to sleep."

Peter sighed as if all of the anger in him disappeared and said, "Goodnight Susan." He took her hand and squeezed it. He leaned into the chair and fell asleep. Susan closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Demeterius was smiling evilly at Susan and said, "Come to me."

Susan screamed, "No!" She looked around and noticed her family all dead except for Caspian.

Caspian glared at Susan. "I will never love you Susan. I only love Autumn."

Autumn came up from behind him and kissed him passionately. Demeterius kept saying, "Come with me. I will kill Caspian." Susan went to him and Demeterius lunged himself at her, and she screamed.

Susan jolted up from her sleep and noticed it was breaking dawn outside. She felt sweat around her neck and noticed Peter was snoring and gripping her had tightly. She thought to herself, I have to get up. She let go of Peter's hand and fell onto the floor. She felt pain shoot through her body. Her stomach hurt worse than her leg right now. She started to crawl to the door and noticed Peter wake up. Peter asked standing over her, "What on Earth are you doing, Susan?"

Susan stopped what she was doing. "I'm going to get some breakfast and eat it on the beach."

Peter laughed and said, "I don't think so."

Susan mimicked his laugh and said, "Yes, I do think so."

Peter rolled his eyes at her. "You're so stubborn."

Susan threw her arms up in the air. "I know I am. I don't want to stay in that bed any longer, Peter. I was trapped in a cell for who knows how long, and now I'm trapped in a bed. I want to feel the sun and hear the ocean."

Peter caved in. He bent down to Susan. "Well up we go." He picked Susan up, and Susan groaned from the pain in her leg. Peter tried to reason with her. "I think it would be best if you stay here."

Susan gave him an angry look and said, "If you put me on my bed, I will punch you Peter."

Peter rolled his eyes and said, "You can never win an argument with a stubborn person."

Peter carried Susan to the dining room and set her on a chair. Peter and Susan were the only two who were actually there eating. Until Caspian rushed in, He had a face of relief seeing the two. "Finally I've been looking everywhere for you two."

Susan said, "Yea what for?"

Caspian smiled and said, "I sent a search party out for Lucy's cordial when we got back, and they found it."

Susan smiled her eyes filled with wonder. "I'm going to walk again."


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