Breathe

Secrets

Peter found Lucy in the morning and lectured her on why she shouldn't be with boys yet. Of course Lucy hated how her brother treated her like a little girl still, but she knew that he was just looking out for her.

Peter was continuing on with his speech, "I just don't want to see you grow up yet Lu."

Lucy shocked her brother by giving him a hug. "It's okay Peter. I understand."

With wide eyes, Peter hugged his little sister back. "Well that's new. Susan was never like this to me."

Lucy laughed in his chest. "She is older than me."

Peter let Lucy out of the hug. "I'll see you later. Caspian, Edmund, and I all have a meeting with the council."

Lucy pulled her eyebrows together. "What about me and Susan? We're high Queens, Shouldn't we go too?"

Peter sighed. "I would think so Luce, but they only asked for the men to go."

Lucy had a disgusted look on her face. She knew that the council hated how two women where leading Narnia as well. Peter ruffled Lucy's hair and walked away.

Susan woke up that morning with a muscle pain in her side. She got up, got dressed and went to the gardens. She sat on the bench and closed her eyes. She let the quiet and peace surround her. She breathed in the air, and it smelled sensational.

A few minutes of sitting that Spanish accent she loved so much whispered in her ear, "Boo!"

She jumped and laughed when she saw Caspian standing behind her laughing. She shook her head. "You scared me."

Caspian smiled crookedly. "That was the point."

Susan slapped his arm playfully. She then pulled him in for a deep kiss which entangled the two with one another. When they pulled away, Susan smiled while looking into his deep brown eyes. Caspian looked back at her with the same mimicked smile. "What?"

Susan smiled even more joyously, "I just can't believe it's all over, and we're getting married."

Caspian chuckled. "I know, why you would even think of marrying a man like me confuses me everyday."

Susan's smiled faded, and she put her hand on his cheek and rubbed it comfortingly. "I'm so lucky to marry a man like you."

Caspian looked up from the ground and looked straight into her bright-blue eyes. "No Susan. I am the lucky one."

Susan pulled him in for another kiss. Susan's hands got tangled in his think-dark hair. Caspian's hands moved to her waist and pulled her closer to him. Susan broke away for a breath, and Caspian moved to her jaw kissing it.

Susan didn't want to ruin the moment, but she knew it was going too far. "Caspian. Too far," Caspian stopped and blushed, and Susan laughed. "Now look who's blushing, King Caspian."

Caspian smiled getting redder, it wasn't really that red because of his tan skin. Susan grabbed his hand and entwined it with her own, and they started to walk throughout the garden.

Caspian smiled at her motion. "So fiancée…What are your plans for today?"

Susan shrugged her shoulders while still walking. "I was thinking maybe we could talk about a ball to announce our engagement and then start planning the wedding."

Caspian's smile faded. "The council wants to have a meeting with me and your brothers. You know how they can be if I don't go."

Susan sighed angrily. "Why just you and my brothers? Why does the council have to be so against women? Just like Demeterius."

Caspian stopped walking and looked at the ground. "I don't know, Susan. I wish they would comprehend that you're just as strong as the three of us."

Susan shook her head and mumbled, "I did kill the king of Archenland."

Caspian smirked. "Yes you did, and you survived almost death. You know what?" Susan looked up at her soon-to-be-husband. "You should just come to see what they say. I could have them resign."

Susan shook her head. "It's fine I can just talk about the wedding with Lucy."

Caspian put his hands on her shoulders. "No it's not. I don't want people that are high-ranked in this country to be like Demeterius."

She was so grateful for Caspian. He wanted her to be happy. He was everything she could imagine as her husband. Susan looked up appreciatively at Caspian. "Really? You really want to do this?"

Caspian held out his pinkie. "Lucy told me this was a pinkie promise. Wherever this England is, this means that you sincerely and whole-heartedly promise."

Susan giggled. "Pinkie Promise."

She locked her pinkie with his own, and he smiled. "Where you come from has weird sayings and traditions."

Susan smirked. "You have no idea."

Caspian kissed her forehead. "I'll see you in a little bit love." Caspian went off, and Susan lingered in the same stop a while longer. She smiled thinking, I am so lucky he loves me.

Edmund was sitting up in a tree on the outskirts of the beach watching the waves. Hearing the sound of the ocean calmed him. He saw a bewildered Frederick riding on a fully packed horse away from the castle.

He jumped down from the tree and startled Frederick. Edmund gave him a confused glance. "Where are you headed Frederick?"

Frederick sighed sadly. "You caught me. I'm leaving for Archenland."

Edmund was shocked by his answer but nodded his head in response. "I hope you told Lucy."

Frederick's face made a twitch of sadness but it faded fast. Edmund noticed. Frederick said, "Yes I gave her my farewell in a letter."

Edmund noticed the crack in his voice as well. "Why didn't you just tell her? Lucy is a sensitive person. She cares about you a lot."

Frederick looked back at the castle. "She would've tried to stop me, and it probably would have worked."

Edmund nodded a little upset he didn't tell Lucy. "I wish you all the best Frederick." Frederick smirked. "Thank you….tell Queen Lucy we will meet again."

Edmund smiled sadly. "Of course." Frederick took on deep breath and rode off, and Edmund watched as he couldn't see Frederick anymore.

Susan was unconsciously fiddling with her engagement ring while sitting in the library of the castle. She was reading an old Narnian tale about a treasure on an island.

There once was a prince looking for buried treasure. There were stories there was a great golden treasure on Tarkly Island. On the island was a great wishful treasure buried in the dark sand. The prince did not know the island held many secrets. It had a dark power throughout it. If your fears got the best of you, your fears would come to life.

Another thing that would happen is you would also become the opposite of what you were. The prince was a giving man and now he only wanted the gold for himself and turned greedy. The prince killed his best friend, which ironically was his good friends fear. The prince realized what was happening, what monster he was turning into. He never got the treasure, but threw it into the lake on the island so no one else would ever find it. Legend has it the treasure is still in the lake and waiting for the next person to find it.

Susan was pulled out of her reading when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around to see Caspian. He asked, "What are you reading?"

She lifted up the book cover and read, "The treasure of Tarkly Island."

Caspian smiled. "My father used to read me that as a young boy. It used to be my favorite story."

Susan smiled back at him. Seeing him brighten up at thinking about his father made her happy. She really wished she could have met him. She just imagined an older Caspian. She was pulled out of her thoughts by Caspian asking, "Are you ready to go?"

Susan nodded with the smile fading, and her face turning worried. Caspian touched her cheek lightly. "Everything will be fine." He gave her a comforting look that reassured her.

Susan and Caspian ran into Peter on the way there. Peter looked at them and stood on Susan's other side. "Did the council invite you too, Susan?"

Susan shook her head abruptly. "I want them to be as happy to invite me as they are of you, Ed, and Caspian."

Peter scoffed. "Well good for you."

Susan glared at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Peter's smile faded. "I'm just saying the council is as stubborn as you are."

Susan rolled her eyes. "Well then the two of us are a perfect match. They won't know stubborn until they meet me."

Caspian added, "They won't know what hit them."

Susan smiled up at Caspian. "See? This is why I hang out with you rather than Peter. You're so much more optimistic than Peter."

Peter shoved Susan with his hand. "Oh sod off Susan."

They got to the doors and met Edmund there. Edmund made a gesture with his head at Susan. "Going to tell them off?" She rolled her eyes in response.

They all three walked into the council room together, and all of the men gave Susan confused glances. She just smiled. Her mother always told her to kill people with kindness.

One of them stood up. "Queen Susan. You are not to be here. We called forth only the Kings of Narnia."

Susan just kept smiling and let out a deep sigh that sounded annoyed. "You know I am just as important as the Kings. I am capable of making decisions too."

Everyone in the council didn't make eye contact with the head council leader who looked furious at Susan. "Very well Queen Susan. You may stay."

Susan smirked at Peter who just chuckled inwardly. The head council leader spoke. "You three Kings are growing older, and you all need to have heirs to the throne."

Susan scoffed and the whole council glared at her. She gave them all a look of guilt, like she got caught. Her brothers and Caspian gave her a look of caution, like don't push it Susan.

The head council leader raised his voice at Susan, "Is there something you'd like to say?"

Susan looked around. "No. I just wanted the lot of you to know Caspian and I are getting married."

Each one of the council members looked pleased. The leader spoke up again, "Well congratulations. Hopefully the two of you will have an heir in the first year."

Caspian stepped forward. "Of course." Susan looked at her shoes again; she didn't want to see the looks on her brothers' faces.

Peter stepped forward. "You can't just force us all to be married and have children. Love takes time as do children."

Susan gave Peter a look of remorse. The council chuckled. "Are you saying you will never marry or have children, King Peter?"

Peter shook his head, and said with anger, "I never said that. I'm just saying maybe me or my brother will never find someone. You can't force us."

Peter stormed out of the room. "We're done here."

Susan followed suit after him. She put a comforting hand on his shoulder. She knew Peter, and she knew he needed to calm down. "Pete they just want an heir is all."

Peter pushed her hand off of him. "Yes Su, but they suspect everyone to have a child or children…Did you tell Caspian yet?"

Susan shook her head in embarrassment. "No I haven't."

Peter sighed as if letting his anger flow out of him as well. "I'm going to blow off some steam. You should go check on Lucy."

Caspian was on his way out to follow them, and the head council man yelled, "Wait! King Caspian…"

Caspian turned around to face them. "You know we're counting on you to have an heir to the throne."

Caspian nodded. "Don't doubt me."

Edmund tugged on Caspian's arm. "Come on. Let's hope that Peter didn't destroy anything." Caspian smirked and followed Edmund out.

Susan found Lucy with tears in her eyes sitting outside of her room on the floor. Susan sat next to her and wrapped an arm around her. Lucy put her head on her big sister's chest. Susan tucked a piece of Lucy's hair behind her ear.

She let Lucy let out some tears before asking, "What's wrong Lu?"

Lucy sniffled. "Frederick left, and he only left me a note. He didn't say goodbye or anything."

Susan played with Lucy's hair. "Well a note is romantic. Don't you think?"

Lucy chuckled a little. "I guess. I just want to let him know I care about him."

Susan smiled sympathetically at her sister. "Lucy you know that's how I felt when I left? I want you to know I don't want you to be like me. I want you to enjoy life."

Lucy nodded. "You're right. I don't want you to have to go through that with me."

Lucy took Susan's ring off of her finger, and Susan watched her cautiously. Lucy smiled at it. "You know I helped pick this out?"

Susan laughed. "Oh really? For a second I thought Caspian actually had good taste."

Lucy chuckled and put it back on Susan's finger. "When we thought you died…that was the worst part…knowing that he was going to ask you after the war."

Susan kissed Lucy's hair. "You must always have faith Lucy. Never forget that."

Lucy smiled and wiped the tears from her eyes. "So has your day been?"

Susan sighed in annoyance. "Well I went with the boys to speak with the council."

Lucy put a hand over her mouth. "Really? How did they take it?"

Susan laughed. "Let's just say Peter was this close to killing one of them."

Susan pinched her fingers close together as a metaphor, and Lucy laughed. "Sounds like Peter. But what did the council do?"

Susan told Lucy everything, and Lucy's smile faded. "But Susan you…"

Susan put a hand to her mouth. "I know Luce. I know."

Lucy looked at her sister's discouraged face. "Well when are you planning the wedding?"

Susan's face perked up. "Well I wanted to start planning with you. I thought this could be a sister thing."

Lucy smiled and giggled uncontrollably. "Oh my gosh really? Thank you Susan. What about Caspian?"

Susan shrugged her shoulders. "He'll have a say in some things. I just know if it will come to a decision, he'll let me decide. He just wants to marry me, he doesn't care about how it looks. And there's no fin in that." Susan smiled changing the subject, "And I want you to be my maid-of-honor."

Lucy hugged her sister. "I won't ever thank you enough."

Susan laughed as Lucy squeezed her. "The more we hug the less we plan."

Lucy stopped hugging and looked shocked. "You're right. Let's go to the lounge and start planning."

Peter was in the training fields with his sword taking down dummies. Caspian and Edmund found him and came to him. Caspian said sarcastically, "You would think fighting a war yesterday, you would have no energy in you."

Peter rolled his eyes and still took down the dummy he was on. "What do you want Caspian?"

Caspian looked confused. "What do you mean? Why were you so rude to the council members? They just said we need to wed and have children."

Peter shook his head. "Maybe I don't want to marry anyone? What if the woman I fall in love with is like Autumn? What if the woman I love is dead?"

Caspian looked at Edmund who obliviously knew what Peter was talking about. Peter fell to the ground, and Caspian crouched next to him. "Did the woman you love die Peter?"

Peter shook his head. "No. She thinks I'm dead. She's in England. She was Susan's best friend, and I fell for her. She was always worried for Susan and then stopped visiting after Susan pushed her away. I sent her a note saying Susan was doing better. She kissed me, and I kissed her. Everything was great."

Caspian pat Peter's shoulder. "What was her name?"

Peter smiled out into the distance. "Louise."

Caspian smirked. "Does Susan know?"

Peter shook his head while smiling. "No. She suspected things but never found out. She always wanted us together though."

Edmund smiled. "I thought you were angry because of Susan, Peter." Peter had a look that said don't mention it on his face, and Caspian read it.

Caspian stood up. "What's wrong with Susan? What did she do?"

Peter put his hands up. "It's not my place to say anything. It's Susan's business. I wasn't supposed to know in the first place. It was my mother and a Susan thing."

Caspian looked at the two of them. "Do I want to know?"

Edmund gave him a grave look. "If you're going to marry Susan, you might want to know."

Caspian left them there. "I'll be back…maybe you can have a real competitor rather than a dummy Peter."

Peter grinned at him. "You're on King Caspian."

Susan and Lucy had papers everywhere in the lounge and they were arguing. "No Susan the orchestra should be on the left. There would be more sound."

Susan rolled her eyes. "Fine but you have to like the colors."

Lucy sighed. "Fine but I will not look good in a rose red dress."

They both turned their heads when a flustered Caspian entered the room. He looked relieved when he saw Susan. She smiled at him. "Hey sweetie we were just discussing the wedding…."

Caspian cut her off, "Are you sick?"

Susan pulled her eyebrows together. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Caspian sighed angrily. "You haven't told me something Susan. I'm going to be your husband very soon." He squatted in front of her while she was sitting on the couch.

Lucy said, "I'll give the two of you some privacy."

Susan looked into his eyes. "I still don't understand what's going on here."

Caspian looked down. "Peter said he knows something he shouldn't have. Something, when the council talked, it hurt you emotionally."

Susan knew exactly what he was talking about but still didn't cave. "What did the council say to you when I left? I heard them call for you."

Caspian looked into her blue eyes. "They said they were counting on me for an heir. Don't worry, I reassured them we would be fine. Now tell me."

Caspian grabbed her hands which were in her lap, and she stared at them. She felt tears fall down her face. "I'm sorry, Caspian."

Caspian pulled her face up to look at her in the eyes which were full of sadness. "Sorry? Sorry about what?"

Susan shook her head. "I can't give you the life you want."

She felt more tears fall, and Caspian's gaze on her, "Yes you can Susan I love you. You will always be what I want."

Susan looked down again. "You will never have children Caspian."

She felt sobs, and Caspian was confused. "What?"

Susan shook her head. "There's something wrong with my reproductive system. I can never bear children. I will never give you the life you want."

Caspian pulled her into a hug and hushed her. "Susan, I love you. You not ever giving birth doesn't mean anything. You have given me the life I want. All I want is you. I love you."

Susan cried in his chest and let him hold her. He patted her hair down and put his chin on top of her head. When she stopped crying, she let go and breathed in deeply as if trying to pull herself together.

She wiped her tears away and said, "We have the colors down rose red, light pink, and white."

Caspian smiled. "They sound lovely. I hope the two of you find other things out. I have some business with Peter to attend to."

Susan smiled without teeth and Caspian kissed her cheek. When he started walking out she said, "Don't hurt yourself and have fun."

Right before Caspian left out the door Susan ran to him and hugged him "Thank you for understanding."

He smiled crookedly and hugged her back. She stood on her toes and gave Caspian a peck on the mouth. When she pulled away, Caspian said, "Don't ever thank me for something like that. I will always understand."

Susan chuckled. "I'll keep that in mind. You might regret saying that Caspian."

Caspian smiled back. "Or maybe not."

Susan rolled her eyes playfully. "Okay get out of here Romeo."

Caspian lifted an eyebrow. "Romeo. Who is this Romeo? Should I be jealous?"

Susan stifled a laugh. "Yes very jealous. Now go bond with your brother-in-laws." Caspian chuckled as Susan tried to push him out. He walked out, and Lucy walked in.

Susan's smile depreciated and as Caspian was out of sight asked Lucy, "Did you hear everything?"

Lucy bit her lip and nodded guiltily. "It must be hard."

Susan shrugged her shoulders. "It will only be harder if we don't keep planning."

Lucy smiled. "You're right. We should talk about your wedding dress." Susan put a hand on her younger sister's shoulder and walked her back to the table.


A few weeks later, Susan and Caspian announced their engagement to the kingdom by having a festival. There were tons of games, food, and dancing. During one of the dance numbers, trumpets blared throughout the kingdom.

Susan and Caspian rose from their seats holding hands. Caspian put up a hand to quiet the people down. He yelled so everyone could hear him, "Today you may be wondering why we are having a festival. It is in remembrance of those soldiers who died for our kingdom. Please let's have a moment of silence."

There was silence and tranquility throughout the kingdom. Caspian heard silent whispered prayers and stifled cries from family members. When he thought it to be long enough, he continued, "There is a happier reason for this festival as well. Queen Susan the Gentle and I are engaged and will wed soon."

The kingdom acclaimed with joyous approval. They were all happy except a few who were jealous. Caspian and Susan were just happy the kingdom was happy and excepting of their marriage.

They kissed to make the kingdom rejoice with happiness. Susan blushed because she never liked public display of affection. Caspian chuckled at her bright red cheeks. She smiled back because of his smile.

Lucy, Edmund, and Peter were all happy for the wedding. Lucy played a few games with small children in the kingdom. Peter was fencing with a boy the age of ten. Edmund was next to the food table conversing with a fawn that was in war.

Since Caspian was high King, he had to stay at his chair in the main area of the festival. People would come and talk to him if they wanted and tell him problems and give him their congratulations.

Susan was just walking about until she saw a young girl around the age of four crying. Susan ran to her side and put a hand on her shoulder and hushed her. Susan said in a comforting tone, "It's okay sweetie. Tell me what's wrong?"

The little girl put her hand in her fiery-red hair. "I lost my mummy."

Susan nodded with a concern on her face. "How about I keep you company until we find your mum?"

The little girl had red eyes from crying and smiled a little. "Thank you Queen Susan."

Susan smiled back and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Let's go sit near the fountain." She took the little girl's hand and walked her to the fountain.

Caspian saw Susan with the girl and smiled. He loved how gracious she was towards her kingdom. He also smiled at the way she was with the little girl. He wished that they would have children, but he knew that couldn't be. Caspian was heartbroken when he heard, but he loved her all the same.

Susan braided the little girl's red hair and got to know her. "What's your name little one?" The little girl answered back with a crack in her voice, "Autumn."

Susan's heart broke; she knew she never liked Autumn, but there would always be a place somewhere inside Susan. Susan answered back, "You know? There was a girl named Autumn who was very strong and brave."

The little girl sniffled. "What if we never find my mummy?"

Susan tied her hair together. "Don't worry we'll find her….or maybe she'll find us."

Susan noticed a frantic woman about mid-thirties running around asking people if they'd seen her child. Susan smiled as the woman lit up when she saw her daughter.

She yelled, "Autumn!" and she turned to see her mother and ran to her. Susan kept smiling and the woman noticed who was with her daughter and bowed. "Your majesty. Thank you so much for watching my daughter. Hopefully she wasn't much trouble."

Susan giggled. "She was a joy. You are raising a fine little lady. Where's the father?"

The woman looked discouraged. "He…He died in battle."

Susan's smile faded instantly and comforted the woman. "I am so sorry. He fought with bravery and honor."

The woman nodded and turned red because a queen was touching her. She looked back into Susan's eyes. "Thank you. On a happy note, congratulations on your engagement."

Susan gave a crooked smile. "Thank you. Now go and enjoy the festival."

The woman smiled and took Autumn's hand in her own and walked with her. Susan smiled and went to do something else to try and connect with her subjects.

Lucy was throwing darts at a board with children and hit the middle of the target every time. Every kid gawked at her skill and cheered her on. Lucy felt a tap at her shoulder. "Wait just a second little one I still have one more."

She heard a deep male voice from behind her say, "I didn't think I was that young. I actually thought I was older than you."

She knew that voice from anywhere, Frederick. She turned around and gave him a huge hug. "You're here!" she said in all excitement.

He grunted from the surprise of the hug, and she was squeezing him tightly. He smiled and said out of breath, "Lucy…too tight."

She giggled and let go as fast as she could and blushed. She whispered, "Watch this." He smiled as she turned and threw the dart and it hit the center. The children cheered, and she blushed because Frederick was watching.

His eyebrows went up in surprise. "Wow Luce. That was great."

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "You really think so?"

Frederick questioned her, "Why do you always tuck your hair back?"

Lucy shrugged her shoulders. "It's a habit. I do it when I'm nervous sometimes."

Frederick chuckled. "Are you nervous around me Queen Lucy?"

Lucy smiled looking up at him. "Maybe…Is that a bad thing?"

Frederick chuckled. "I dunno. You tell me."

They were close to each other, and he kissed the tip of her nose. Lucy giggled in a flirtatious way, and when she stopped, she grabbed his hand. "I want know all about your trip."

Frederick groaned in a sarcastic way. "All of it?"

Lucy scoffed. "Yes I do, mister."

Peter was practicing with a little boy, and the boy was laughing which made Peter smile. Edmund walked up to them. "Are you really teaching him that Peter?"

Peter brought his fight to a halt so did the boy. Edmund continued, "Do you want to learn from the master little man?" The boy smiled and nodded in amazement.

Edmund put his hand up to his face and whispered, "This buffoon over there doesn't know anything. I'm the real guy you want to learn from."

The boy chuckled, and Edmund walked over to him. "So what's your name little man?" The boy perked up. "Reid."

Edmund nodded his head "That's a very nice name." He placed the sword in Reid's hand and said, "Now first this is how you hold the sword…"

Peter rolled his eyes at his brother and saw how long the line was for Caspian and decided to help him out.


When the day was over, the five got together and had an "almost" family picnic on the beach away from everything. They all laughed at Edmund mocking Peter. Some laughed at Caspian when he said that some women Susan's age came to him and said I hope you're sure of this decision and what you would be missing out on.

Lucy said that Frederick came back and they all brightened up. Susan smiled and sat on Caspian's lap. She held his hand as he kissed her cheek. She giggled and said happily, "Everything is perfect."

Lucy gave them an awe look, Peter and Edmund both playfully gagged at the same time. Susan shoved Edmund, and he fell into Peter. She scolded them in a joking way, "Oh knock it off."

Edmund rolled his eyes. "Oh Su but it was so cheesy and lovey-dovey."

Susan laughed. "You want to see lovey-dovey? You haven't seen anything yet."

She turned her head upright and cupped her hands on Caspian's face. She pulled his face into him and gave him a huge passionate kiss. Caspian kissed her back with the same amount.

When she pulled away, she looked into his deep-brown eyes. "I love you." She turned to face Edmund. "How was that for lovey?"

Edmund stood up. "If you all excuse me I think I'm going to vomit behind that bush over there."

Susan rolled her eyes and got off of Caspian's lap. She sat on the blanket and plopped a grape in her mouth. "I hope you enjoy yourself while you do that."

Edmund sat back down and everyone laughed. They were a family and always would be forever more. They still had a wedding to get through, and they all couldn't be happier.


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