Breathe

Plans Working

Susan was so angry. Caspian had promised he wouldn't kiss Autumn like that in front of her again. Susan ran into the castle garden and sat on a stone bench. The bench was surrounded by red and white roses. Susan picked a red rose and played with the stem in her hand.

She heard footsteps and she said, "I don't want to talk to you, Caspian."

King Demeterius walked in and smiled."I'm flattered you thought I was King Caspian, because of how young he is. Why are you sitting out here by yourself?"

Susan was flustered it was Demeterius and said while looking at anything but him, "Oh I'm sorry I didn't see it was you. I'm out here because….because….I just love the scenery. It reminds me of home."

Demeterius rolled his eyes and said, "I know that's not the reason."

Susan gave him a confused look and asked, "How do you know? You don't know me enough to make that assumption."

Demeterius chuckled. He liked her wit. "You don't look like a person that would sit out here all by yourself; that's all."

Demeterius sat next to Susan, and Susan felt uncomfortable. Susan scooted over to make room in a kind way. Susan didn't want to hurt his feelings even though his proximity to Susan was uncomfortable.

Demeterius said "Really, tell me. Why are you out here all by yourself?" He looked into Susan's eyes, and she flinched by how much he looked like Rabadash.

Susan answered, "I think I hear Peter calling my name. I..I better go." Susan got up to go and he grabbed Susan's arm rather strongly.

Demeterius smiled devilishly and said "My Queen please stay, I just want to get to know you better. You only meet a Queen of old every once in a lifetime."

Susan smiled back at him as nice as she could and said, "I really have to go maybe some other time?"

Susan fast walked out of the gardens and ran into Caspian. Susan smiled at him sarcastically and started to run the opposite direction. Caspian grabbed her hand and pulled her back.

Susan said "What is with you kings and grabbing my arms?"

Caspian raised one eyebrow confused to what she was saying. Caspian said,"Susan we need to talk in private."

Susan sighed and gave up. She did need to talk to Caspian, and he needed to talk to her. Susan nodded her head and followed Caspian into his study.

Caspian was the first to ask, "Susan can I tell you something?"

Susan was about to answer yes but before she could Caspian said, "I still have strong feelings for you."

Susan had her mouth open and was in shock. Caspian sat in his arm chair and put his face in his hands. Susan didn't know what to say she walked over to Caspian and comforted him by rubbing his arm. Caspian looked up into her eyes and smiled.

Susan said, "I still have feelings for you as well, Caspian, but you're getting married in a month. This might be stress talking." Susan was upset with her words but knew this must have been the truth.

Caspian said, "They aren't nerves Susan I…I…I'm in love you. Every time I look at you it reminds me of our months together, and the fun we had. How that year I spent without you was hell."

Susan looked into his eyes and said, "Caspian I don't want me getting in the way of your love life. You do love Autumn right?"

Caspian nodded his head and looked ashamed for telling Susan. Susan smiled and said, "Then get married, I won't be in the way. I just don't want our friendship to end because of some extra feelings. I'll tell you what, how about we go practice archery together tomorrow?"

Caspian smiled and said, "Thank you Susan. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Caspian pulled Susan into a big comforting hug. Susan didn't want the hug to end. Telling Caspian to let her go was one of the hardest things she had ever done. The hug ended when Edmund came into the room. When Edmund saw them he started smiling.

Edmund said, "We've been looking everywhere for you Susan. Peter really wants to talk to you."

Susan had a blush that reddened her pale cheeks. When Susan went out of the room, Edmund walked over to Caspian.

Edmund asked looking back and forth between Caspian and the door where Susan left, "So what do you two talk about?"

Caspian said, "I told her I loved her. She told me to let my feelings go to save our friendship and my wedding. She took it a lot better than I expected."

Edmund smiled and said, "Susan is still hurting I can feel it. Susan and I have a connection we can't explain. Even though she seems to take it well she's still hurting."

Caspian nodded and said, "What do I do Edmund?"

Edmund put a hand on Caspian's back and said, "In time I think you'll know who you love more."

But Caspian knew who he loved more. He loved Susan more than Autumn, but he still knew Susan longer than Autumn. Caspian would keep telling himself to be a man and love Autumn. Caspian had convinced himself over the moths that he loved Autumn.

Edmund walked out of Caspian's study and went to his room. Edmund ran into Autumn and Autumn said, "Excuse me, prince Edmund."

Edmund said "I'm a king."

Autumn chuckled and said, "Really? I've seen plenty of kings in my time, and you look like a prince."

Autumn shoved him out of her wa,y and Edmund jostled back a little. Edmund rolled his eyes and wondered how does Caspian love her?

Susan went into Peter's room noticing that Peter was on his bed fiddling with his hands. Peter smiled when Susan walked in and patted on the bed for Susan to sit next to him.

Susan smiled to lighten the mood and asked, "Is everything alright Peter? Edmund said that you needed to talk."

Peter said "Susan I… Susan I…."

Susan grabbed Peter's hand and said, "Tell me Peter what's on your mind?"

Peter whispered, "Don't fall in love with Caspian and do anything stupid."

Susan raised one eyebrow and said "Peter do you not trust me? It's my decision with what I do anyway. Falling in love isn't stupid." Susan got up and started to walk away and said angrily, "Goodbye Peter thanks for the chat."

Peter got out of the bed and plead, "Wait, wait Susan!"

Susan turned around and there was Peter right in her face. Susan sighed like she was annoyed,"What?"

Peter said with a lump in his throat "Susan I can't lose you again." Susan's eyes softened from anger to grief. Peter continued, "When we left I didn't have you there for me. No one to tell me advice and tell me what I was doing was wrong. I can't see you go through that again. We don't know how long we have, and I don't want you to go back home depressed." Peter put his forehead on Susan's shoulder, and Susan pulled him into a hug.

Susan whispered to Peter while they were still in an embrace, "Peter you have to trust me. If we do go home Caspian will marry Autumn, and my feelings will be gone. If we go home I will be there for you, Ed, and Lu. I won't ever do what I did to you again." Susan started sobbing because she thought back to when she was just horrible toward her family. Between sobs Susan would say "I'm sorry."

Lucy walked into the room and saw Peter and Susan hugging while Susan was crying. Lucy backed up and said, "I'm sorry I can come back."

Susan shook her head and pulled Lucy into the hug. Susan said, "I'm sorry Lu. I'm sorry for never being there for you."

Lucy said with a small smile on her face, "It's okay. You've already said sorry about a thousand times. You're always forgiven."

When the siblings pulled away from their embrace, they all smiled at each other. They all noticed it was dark outside and went to their rooms to sleep.

That night Autumn knocked on Caspian's door to his room. Caspian said, "Come In!" To Caspian's surprise he wasn't expecting Autumn.

Caspian asked, "What's wrong Autumn? Why are you here so late at night?"

Autumn's eyes were sad as replied saying, "I think the Pevensies don't like me." She started crying and Caspian pulled her into his chest.

Autumn said, "On the picnic Queen Lucy and Queen Susan said nasty horrible things to me. Queen Susan was trying to say things about you that would make me cancel the wedding completely. Queen Lucy would take Queen Susan's side as well. Oh and King Edmund and King Peter push and shove me around when I pass by them. King Peter even tried to kiss me once."

Caspian couldn't believe all of the words coming out of Autumn's mouth. Caspian said "This can't be true Autumn. Susan told me that she was okay with our wedding, even though she still loves me."

Autumn sighed, "How could she be so cruel? She was probably saying that to make you think everything was okay, and so you would think when I came to talk to you, you wouldn't believe me. She wants to get rid of me to have you all to herself."

Caspian was astonished and shaking with rage. "You said Peter tried to kiss you? When did this happen?"

Autumn sighed like it was the worst experience thinking of the memory and said, "When…When you were talking to Queen Susan this evening." She started sobbing and continued, "He..He..s..said he was..j..jealous of you f..for being with me."

Caspian pulled her into a hug and said, "This can't be true, not my friends."

Autumn shrugged her shoulders and said, "They probably want to make me look bad. They all want you marry Susan and not me. Caspian I'm scared for what they may do next."

Caspian shook his head. "I'll check them out this week and see if they do anything else bad to you."

Autumn nodded and started shaking with sobs. Caspian carried Autumn back to her bed he said, "Goodnight. I love you." When he left, Autumn stopped the fake sobs and smiled. Her work was done.


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