You couldn't believe what you were looking at. It was yourself lying on the hospital bed sound asleep in a deep coma.
"Smart Y/N. You only begin to regret it now?" You sighed as you reached out to your sleeping face. Vague memories of why you were here were trying to creep back into you mind.
"What even happened?" Your question wasn't directed at anyone as no one was around. Even if someone was near by, you guessed they couldn't see or hear you anyways.
So it came as an utter shock when you received an answer from someone behind you. "You tried to kill yourself."
Whipping around in fear, you looked back and forth but found nothing.
"Hello?" You called.
"Hi there!" A little spirit suddenly appeared out of no where and was floating directly in front of your face, causing you to scream and tumble backwards.
"Oh no no! Don't be afraid! I'm your spirit guide Y/N! I'm a good guy I promise."
"Sp... spirit guide?" You stuttered as you studied the spirit looking down at you. It had the shape of your favorite animal and was about the size of your arm. It floated around, partially transparent and incredibly cute.
"Yup! I'm here to help you."
"Help me..." you looked over to your limp body and wondered what your spirit guide could do.
"Don't you remember? You over dosed on your meds. Your parents found you unconscious and rushed you here two nights ago. You have been in a coma ever since...Your mom actually just stepped out for a bit before you woke up in your spirit form." It's face looked incredibly sad as it explained everything.
You looked down as you thought of your parents. You weren't sure you would be able to handle seeing your mom in the distressed state you knew she would be in.
Panic rushed through your transparent form as you heard the door open behind you. Your tear stained mother walked in and sat down by your bed with a cup of coffee in hand. She grabbed your body's hand and gently caressed it begging for you to wake up.
The pain you felt caused you to take off in any direction you could. You couldn't bear seeing your mother like that. As you found yourself outside and hovering five stories in the air, you came to the realization that you could go through walls and thankfully fly. You placed your floating figure on the edge of the hospital roof, looking out at the starry night.
When you finally calmed yourself, you leaned back and let the anxiety slip out of your core. "So I'm not dead then." You asked as your spirit guide laid down beside you, resting its head on your lap.
"No" it replied "you are in a form of purgatory I guess. If you find the will to live again, you will wake up. I'm here to help you and keep you company till then"
"And... what if I don't find the will?"
"You might stay a spirit forever. But if your parents pull the plug on your body then you really will die. Not sure what happens then. I'm really just going with the flow here."
"Well aren't you helpful?" You snickered at the little creature who had made its way fully onto your lap and was looking up at you laying on its back. "Did you shrink?" You asked looking at its seemingly smaller stature.
"I sure did! I can change my size at will."
"Huh...interesting. Can I do that?"
"Nope. But you can fly and go through walls. Oh and you can occasionally interact with objects... not sure how that works though... pretty cool right?"
"You don't know much for being a spirit guide."
A small smile spread across your lips "What is your name?"
"What ever you want to name me. I'm yours after all."
"Hmmm.." you tapped your lip as you thought. "Well you are super cute... and you shall be my squishy and I will call you squishy."
".... really... Squishy? That is what we are going with?"
"Yup. Deal with it."
You gently pat Squishy as you thought about everything it told you. It wasn't like you had an awful life that led you to what you did. Really you couldn't explain it all. You were as useful as Squishy in that sense.
Things were fine for you. Good friends, a loving family, a stable job and roof over your head. A normal and good life. But maybe that was the problem... you felt stuck in a routine of nothing but normal. You weren't going anywhere or really following your dreams like you had wanted. But the thought of actually trying to make things happen scared you. The work it would take seemed like something you couldn't handle.
That was the problem with having anxiety and depression. Nothing had to be wrong to feel lower than the worms crawling in dirt.
A sigh escaped your lips. Could you find the will to live? No matter how much you loved your family and friends... the thought of trying so hard for nothing made you feel only despair. You didn't have much confidence in yourself.
"Please don't make that face Y/N. I will help you every step of the way in any way I can. Maybe what you need is inspiration!" Squishy tried to console you.
Squishy floated in front of you seemingly excited. "Ya! You just need to see what the world has to offer. Might as well enjoy what you can do in your current state."
"Okay why not. Sounds fun. Where do we start?"
"Well there are places you've always wanted to visit right? With me helping, you can teleport to them!"
"I can teleport!? Well damn, being a spirit is awesome so far." You started to feel excited yourself. You knew you wouldn't be able to stand staying around here so running off to some exotic place you had only dreamt about seemed like a good idea. You wouldn't have to face the guilt that way.
"Well I wasn't trying to make you want to stay a spirit but this is a start I guess..." Squishy sat on your shoulder and you thought of the many places you wanted to go.
Where to start!?
Awe man... I know this is super depressing at the start but I promise that it isn't a story like that. And yes BTS will make their appearance! So keep reading! On to part 2!